Influencers Are Ruining Gratitude

It’s crazy to think that just 10 years ago, Instagram wasn’t a thing, and most of us had never heard of influencers or fashion bloggers. In a few short years, we’ve seen the rise of an entire culture of elaborate brand trips, sponsored content, and millions of outfit posts that essentially all look the same. Everyone seems to be on vacation year-round, and it’s all in the name of content.

But while fashion bloggers increasingly schedule their entire lives around their Instagram feed, constantly chasing more followers, more likes, and more brand deals, there’s another trend in the community that seems directly at odds with this greed for clout: constantly saying how grateful you are.

Of course, if your life is going well, you should feel grateful, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing your gratitude, but it feels a little hollow when you’re constantly seeing it hashtagged on pictures of elaborate tropical vacations and luxury outfits. For example, take this photo of @fashionambitionist (aka Marissa Casey Grossman), whom you might recall from her over the top, “surprise” proposal and wedding back in June.

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The most perfect day…. a boat ? day paired with amazing company, delicious ? food, epic views, a cute bikini? , lively (and romantic) ? and some jumping off rocks! ??♥️? don’t care if it’s cheesy to hashtag #grateful ?☺️

A post shared by MARISSA CASEY GROSSMAN (@fashionambitionist) on

Since getting married (in Paris, I might add), Marissa has been on trips to Israel, the Hamptons, and Italy, and she specifically mentioned being grateful in four different posts from her Italy trip. I mean, I’m glad she had fun on her trip, but it’s really not that hard to be grateful when you’re on a 10-day luxury vacation on the Amalfi Coast. In this case, #grateful just feels like code for “I’m so happy that I’m rich enough to go on a trip like this,” which isn’t really the point of gratitude.

Arielle Charnas, who has repeatedly been at the center of controversy with thin-shaming and her Something Navy clothing line, also loves to express her gratitude on Insta. Again, it’s not hard to be grateful when you and all your rich friends are hanging out in the Hamptons, home cooked meal or not.

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Home cooked meal on the beach, full moon, bonfire, great friends, wine. Grateful. ♥️??

A post shared by Arielle Noa Charnas (@ariellecharnas) on

It’s one thing when influencers use gratitude as a way to humble brag on their bougie vacation posts, but it feels especially unwarranted when they start using the phrase on actual branded posts. Lydia Elise Millen is a major British fashion blogger who I’ve definitely spent way too many hours watching on YouTube. Along with her massive collection of luxury clothes and handbags, Lydia has spent the last year and a half documenting her insane home renovations on her YouTube channel, which she’s obviously super #grateful for.

Here’s a recent post from her campaign with H&M:

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Ad I’m totally floored by the response to my campaign with @HM seeing so many of you wearing the pieces is the biggest compliment and I’m so grateful! You can find the collection in store now! #HMxME

A post shared by Lydia (@lydiaemillen) on

Of course, it’s cool for Lydia that H&M wanted to do a campaign with her, but starting a caption with “Ad” (that’s not even hashtagged properly) and then talking about being grateful is just not a great look. Save that for an off-the-cuff message to your followers, not a post that you’re literally getting paid for. Like, would she still be grateful if the H&M check didn’t clear? I have my doubts.

It’s not only fashion bloggers that are guilty of overusing “grateful,” but they’re definitely some of the worst offenders. While it often comes across as a humble brag, maybe it stems from a deeper place. In the past, it was seen as taboo to talk about wealth and finances, but the entire ecosystem of influencer culture is built on flaunting what you have. Does it help you feel better about constantly showing off your Chanel bags if you make sure to tell everyone how grateful you are? I have a feeling the answer is yes. Does it make the viewer feel any differently about their own financial status? Probably not.

With “grateful,” as is the case with most things, it starts to lose its meaning when you say it over and over again, and this never-ending public gratitude just feels performative. When people post normal pictures with normal captions, I don’t assume that they’re ungrateful for their lifestyle, whether they’re on a yacht in Capri or living in a small town. There are plenty of ways to express thanks and gratitude besides slapping #grateful on a bikini picture that you put through 14 editing apps.

Instead of talking about gratitude all the time, maybe we should focus more on being open about the things in our lives that we’re genuinely thankful for. Fancy vacations are nice, and I don’t mind seeing pool-side thirst traps on my feed, but those probably aren’t the posts where we should be expressing our gratitude. Save that for a post about your family, or your health, or something that actually matters.

Images: Angello Lopez / Unsplash; fashionambitionist, ariellecharnas, lydiaemillen / Instagram

The 6 Best Self-Care Apps To Help You Chill Out

Elections are upon us, and your stress level is increasing. Summer is way over and it’s getting cold AF, so you can’t lay out on the beach and soak up Vitamin D anymore. How on earth are you supposed to keep calm when everything is going to sh*t? By using your cell phone. Duh! We’ve found six of the best self-care apps that will help you chill TF out and get some much-needed zen back in your life.

1. Headspace

Cleverly named after the fact that we all want to be in a good headspace, this app offers a bunch of really awesome features. It has everything from guided meditation to breath control, and of course, sleep aids. You can set three-, five- or ten-minute meditation sessions depending on  your attention span how long you want to meditate for. The entire app is full of super cute illustrations with happy clouds and little smiling blobs. I use it. I like it. So do my friends.

2. Calm

Calm has a five-star rating with over 174,000 reviews in the App Store, so I guess you can say it’s a pretty amazing self-care app. This one includes breathing exercises, nature sounds, and recorded storytellers who will lull you to sleep with bedtime stories. Use Calm to help manage anxiety and improve your sleep. You can even become a super chill meditation guru by taking master classes. You do have to pay for it, but it’s legit $5 a month, which is way less than an Ambien prescription.

3. Muse

Do you suck at meditating because you can’t stop thinking? Same. Enter, Muse. It’s an app that pairs with a special headset that links up to your heart rate, mental activity, body movements, and breathing. Basically, you turn it on and set how long you want to meditate. If the Muse device senses your mind wandering, it will give you real-time feedback as a gentle nudge to bring you back to center. It’s pretty f*cking amazing.

4. Insight Timer

With over four million users, Insight Timer is the largest meditation community on earth. It’s all about becoming ~one with yourself~ by teaching you the fundamentals of meditation, mindfulness, building confidence, and creating friendships (which you can do with other users on the app). One of the best features on this app is its ability to sort through topics like relationships, concentration, and mindful eating. There are a ton of world-renowned meditation guides and musicians available for you to follow, which is pretty cool for a free app.

5. Grateful

The Grateful app literally trains you to count your blessings. We get so wrapped up in our daily lives that we forget to take note of all of the good stuff going on around us. It’s essentially a gratitude journal which gives you writing prompts. You’re asked questions, such as what you’re grateful for, what made you smile today, and what made your day so great. Download it. I promise you’ll be grateful you did (yeah that was a lame joke, whatever).

6. Happify

Not the “guided meditation” type of person? Don’t want to journal about how thankful you are? Play mind games instead. No, not the type you played with your ex—legit helpful ones. Happify presents activities and games that are backed by scientific studies to overcome negative thinking and stress to promote a positive lifestyle. This is a more fun, interactive app compared to the other five listed here.

No matter which of these self-care apps you download, find the one that works best for you and use it! Meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, and taking care of yourself are way more important than you think. Especially when you get so caught up in the throes of everyday life. Apps like these help to get you back in the right flow of positive mental, emotional, and spiritual vibes. Namaste, betches.