A few days ago, soon to be former President Donald Trump vetoed the National Defense Authorization Act, a bill passed by the House of Representatives that, among other things, approves $740 billion in defense spending. Most of the time, the NDAA passes with bipartisan support and very little opposition, but it’s 2020 so that obviously didn’t happen.
Trump’s key issues with the NDAA include provisions to rename bases currently named after Confederate soldiers, you know, the traitors who lost in a war against the union, and because the bill does not include provisions to repeal Section 230, a decades-old section of the Communications Decency Act.
I will not stand by and watch this travesty of a bill happen without reigning in Big Tech. End Section 230 now, before it is too late. So bad for our Country. Show courage, and do what’s right!!! https://t.co/V99lShpLCe
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 26, 2020
Yup, you read that correctly. Donald Trump, who loves our troops, vetoed a necessary bill that would give those who serve our country a 3% pay raise because he is upset about an unrelated communications law.
So, What Exactly Is Section 230?
Almost every communications professor I ever had referred to the provision as one of the most important pieces of legislation protecting freedom of speech on the internet. Section 230 was created with bipartisan support as an attempt to just make the internet a better place.
Word for word, the law says that “o provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.” In short: the people are responsible for what they post, not the platform they post it on.
Before section 230, if a company DID moderate their message board, they were treated as a publisher. This meant that they were at risk of being sued for any fraud, harassment, or libel that happened on the message board. Because of this legal risk, companies would be less willing to censor what users can post, if they censored things at all.
There were obvious problems with that type of behavior, as there are very few justifications for punishing companies who were just trying to make their platforms more pleasant places. So, Section 230 tried to fix that issue and basically said that if platforms moderated offensive content, they would have legal protections from being sued for free speech violations when they do so.
Ok, What’s Trump’s Problem With It?
The two-time popular vote loser has grown increasingly frustrated with Twitter’s ability to put warnings on his tweets that contain blatant lies about things like Covid and the election. So, this spring, the president issued an executive order that said that when companies – like Twitter or Facebook – edit or moderate content, they lose the legal protections offered by Section 230.
Here’s the thing, Trump isn’t necessarily wrong to be against Section 230. For a while, there has been strong bipartisan opposition to the provision. This is because most “big tech” companies take advantage of the legal protections offered by Section 230 without using their moderation power in good faith (*cough* Facebook *cough*).
Earlier this year, Democratic Senators Diane Feinstein and Blumenthal partnered with Republicans such as Senator Lindsey Graham to introduce a law that would effectively make it so companies had to earn Section 230 protections. The EARN IT act, which is incredibly problematic, hasn’t solved any of the key issues with Section 230 and puts sex workers and many other groups at risk of privacy violations.
Republican and Trump-led opposition to Section 230 is rooted in a desire to stop moderation (aside from when it comes to violent or obscene content) and often involves repealing the act altogether.
Conversely, Democratic opposition to Section 230 focuses on the lack of moderation of content that contains dis/misinformation or hate speech. Largely, Democratic lawmakers oppose fully repealing the provision and are more in favor of reforming and updating it.
TLDR: Section 230 was created in the 1990s, long before platforms like MySpace even entered our public consciousness. Many opponents to Section 230 on both sides of the aisle (including myself) feel that Section 230 is outdated and that it offers too many protections to social media companies. While Republicans think that these companies should have almost no ability to moderate content, Democrats feel that they should be pushed to further their moderation of problematic content and clarify the terms of content moderation processes.
Long story short, while countless Americans are starving, have lost their jobs and healthcare, and are unable to pay rent, the Commander in Chief is doing what he does best: throwing a sh*t fit over Twitter and attempt to protect the legacies of literal confederate soldiers. As of right now, the House has voted to override Trump’s veto of the NDAA, especially because, again, Section 230 has literally nothing to do with the bill.
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Yesterday was another normal day in America where a gunman entered a high school and murdered 17 people. Wow, I wish that sentence could be read as an outlandish joke but the gun violence at Florida’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School was the eighth school shooting to occur this year. Yep. Eighth. There’s only been seven weeks in 2018 so far. It hasn’t been long enough for the people who resolved to lose weight this year to cancel their gym membership yet.
Luckily we live in a country that is incredibly responsive to these sorts of attacks and are horrified that children must worry about being gunned down while passing notes about their crushes. Here are the heroic measures members of the government have taken to make sure this doesn’t happen again:
The OG response to mass shootings. So far it hasn’t really *worked* per se, but what’s that thing about 10,000 hours of practice? Hopefully we aren’t all dead by then!
Since praying is unfortunately a private event, it is important that the people we pay to govern our country write a 280-character message letting us know they prayed. That’s what we’re paying them to do. Pray and write about praying.
Prayed and Thought
Prayers can be empty gestures, you might think and you’d be right! It’s important to also think while praying. These politicians are thinking very hard. Thinking about how innocent people are being killed in learning institutions they once felt were safe. And when they are done thinking they will frown so people know they are thinking sad thoughts.
Lit A Candle
Perhaps this tiny flame will light the way toward a more peaceful future. Nothing is more actionable than lighting a small fire.
Went On A Contemplative Walk
How does this keep happening, they wondered as they strolled down the aisles of Wal-Mart, past the section for “toys for girly girls”, located next to the fishing rods and semi-automatic rifles. “Why do young people turn to guns?”
Sat In A Comfortable Chair In Their Comfortable House In A Gated Community That They Can Afford Because Of The Money They Accept From The NRA That Let’s Them Continually And Conveniently Ignore This Violent Epidemic
*stares blankly ahead*
Prayed And Went On A Walk
Maybe those earlier prayers weren’t reaching Jesus but they were inside when they prayed and the roof couldn’t interrupted the signals like a bad wifi connection or something. Better just be sure and pray outside. That way more people will see them praying which is great PR. And that’s what matters, right? It’s important they look concerned and not important at all that children stop getting murdered between Algebra and World History class.
Now, if for some reason this doesn’t feel like enough, that is understandable. We all grieve in different ways. Some people grieve by continuing to accept money from an organization that profits off of fear and innocent people dying, and others grieve by donating to, say, Everytown For Gun Safety, an organization committed to building safer communities and decreasing gun violence. To each his own, I guess!
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
While everyone was still hungover from the weekend on Monday night, House Republicans voted to make a classified document called the Nunes Memo public. The memo supposedly confirms Donald Trump’s beliefs that the FBI is out to get him and that the Russia investigation is one big anti-Trump political attack. Final say on the memo going public comes down to him, so naturally he’s leading the #ReleaseTheMemo campaign and is potentially rumored to be exposing it today. Here’s a rundown of what might happen if it does drop and what might be inside so you can, like, get with the memo (LOL I crack myself up).
Who TF Is Devin Nunes?
TBH when I heard “Nunes Memo,” my first thought was, “Woah, the actor who played Oscar on The Office is getting into politics? Good for you, Oscar!”
Turns out there’s more than one person named Nunes in the world (plus they don’t even spell it the same way – it was a hard stretch). The man behind the memo is Devin Nunes, chair of the House Intelligence Committee and loyal bestie of Trump. He served on Trump’s post-election transition team and has spoken up in defense of the President on numerous occasions. It’s pretty clear where his loyalties lie, so right away, you can bet that this memo is going to be more than just a passive aggressive post-it note on the White House office fridge telling the Democrats to stop drinking his LaCroix.
What’s In The Memo?
The memo is reportedly packed with some majorly juicy goss that, if true, could mean serious trouble for the integrity of the FBI. Nunes claims to have uncovered proof that the FBI and Justice Department are biased against Trump and are only conducting the Russia investigation as a means to attack him and make him look bad.
Trump to the FBI:
Back in the Fall of 2016, the FBI applied for a warrant with the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA) to wiretap a Trump adviser named Carter Page, on suspicions that he might have secretly been a Russian agent. However, Nunes alleges that the FBI got their evidence of Page’s ties to Russia from a document called the Steele dossier – which was written by a British spy and conveniently funded by the Hillary campaign and the Democratic National Committee. So if that’s what the FBI is basing their investigation warrant on, it might suggest that the FBI plays political favorites, and that their favorite is literally anyone who doesn’t have orange skin, tiny hands, and a love for eating cheeseburgers in bed. Following so far? Because this theory is twisted AF and there’s still tons more yarn to pin up on the conspiracy cork board.
Who’s Getting Dragged?
If this memo does get out, it has the potential to really fuck up a lot of people’s jobs – especially when it comes to the Russia investigation. The person who signed off on the FBI’s renewal application to keep the warrant open was Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. Rosenstein also just so happens to be the guy supervising Mueller’s entire investigation and protecting him from getting fired without actual cause. Call me Olivia Benson, because I’m pretty sure I just cracked the case on where this is going next.
Say the memo actually does uncover some shady partisan shit, Rosenstein is definitely at risk of being implicated for letting it slide, potentially proving that he’s biased against Trump too. If that happens, Trump could have reason to dust off his favorite phrase again and fire Rosenstein’s ass. With Rosenstein out of the way, the White House would have direct access to Mueller, and no one to tell them Mueller shouldn’t get the boot, effectively ending the Russia investigation if he gets fired as well. Trump is honestly using this memo to crack Rosenstein the way Janice Ian cracked Gretchen Wieners to eventually crack the lock on Regina. It’s risky. It’s diabolical. It’s so fetch.
How Do The Dems/Repubs Feel?
Naturally the Democrats and Republicans have VERY different feelings about this memo, because they’d sooner watch the National Mall go up in flames than come to a common stance on anything. Republicans are thrilled about the possible release of the memo, since they feel that it shows indisputable evidence that the FBI is v scandalous and is using their resources to attack Trump based on personal and political bias. Democrats, on the other hand, are desperately trying to stop this memo from getting out, claiming it’s completely skewed and cherry-picks the facts to make it look like the FBI did something wrong, when really it’s four pages of straight bullshit.
Weirdly enough, no one seems to care very much about changing policy or reforming the process of applying for warrants, which could mean that the main motive behind releasing the memo is really just to find a way to get closer to firing Mueller and ending the Russia probe for good. But, like, no guilty person would ever want to halt a major investigation before it has a chance to find key evidence, right? That would be obstruction of justice.
So will this memo actually reveal anything substantial? No one really knows yet because the actual contents have been kept top secret – Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that Trump hasn’t even read it yet, so the hype must be so real if he’s ready to put the FBI on blast with something he hasn’t even officially seen. We’ll have to wait and see how it all goes down today, but my guess is that it will look a little something like this:
…and then turn into a whole lot of this:
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“I’m just a bill, yeah I’m only a bill, and I’m gonna fuck your whole life up.” That’s the song, right? Normally if someone asked me what the bill to law process is, I’d be like, “Do I fuckin’ look like a singing piece of paper to you?” But because the Trump administration and the fuckpoles that make up Congress have turned our whole world upside down, here I am, writing this for you. What a time to be alive. Sure, you learned this stuff in elementary school, but considering most of us can’t even remember last Saturday, it’s probably worth revisiting.
Also, a really shit-tastic bill tax bill passed this weekend in the Senate, so this shit is like, legitimately going to affect your life. Unless you own a private jet – then you’re chillin’. So let’s follow a bill that, like tax scam, starts out in Congress’ rightwing frat house – aka The House of Representatives.
STEP ONE: Introducing the legislation
Any asshole sitting in the House can introduce a bill to congress. It’s then placed in the hopper, which is a stupid fucking name for a box that sits by the clerk’s desk. The clerk reads the bill to the House, and then Paul Ryan takes a second away from being like, the biggest asshole DILF ever, to pass along to the House’s standing committee.
In the Senate, any senator can introduce a bill by “placing it on the presiding officer’s desk” or by “formally introducing it” on the Senate Floor. Basically, it’s the same as the House process except slightly bougie because like, that’s kind of how the Senate rolls.
STEP TWO: Off To The Committee
So then it goes to the team of “experts” (which is a term I use loosely in our government), and they review and research to decide if the bill is good to go. And by review and research, I mean see which lobbyist can pay them the most to agree with them. The more you know!
If they don’t agree, they can send it back to the House for a redo, or send it to the House floor for a debate.
CONGRESS: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin… to generic. All those opposed to chafing please say “aye”.
STEP THREE: Old White People Argue
Then the bill’s fate is in the hands off predominantly old white men who enjoy yelling. What a shock. They argue what they like and don’t like about the bill and then the changes are supposedly made. This is like, the lamest sorority chapter meeting ever.
STEP FOUR: The House Votes
^ don’t get excited, this is a shitty episode of Big Brother.
The House can vote in three ways:
Viva Voce (voice vote): Literally people saying “aye” and “no.” Our fate is in the hands of people muttering three fuggin letters.
Division: Paul Ryan asks people to stand if they agree and sit if they don’t.
Recorded: Electronic voting. Look, we can’t amend the ancient fucking constitution, but we vote on the computer machine.
If a majority of the House says yes, the bill passes and is off to the Senate. Because Congress is mostly dominated by Republicans rn, it’s basically just passing the torch to other old white men. But this time, to old white men who date 14 year old girls!
STEP FIVE: The Bill Goes To Senate
In theory, the Senate is supposed to be like, the voice of reason. Like, the House can be a little bit fuckin’ wild sometimes and the Senate is supposed to reign those motherfuckers in.
BUUUUUT it’s 2017, so that’s not a thing anymore.
Senators have the same debate process and research process as the House, but they can only vote by voice. If it passes in the Senate, it enters the 9th of circle of Hell, A.K.A the White House.
STEP SIX.5: The House And Senate Have A Chat
So like, at this point in the process we have two semi-similar bills coming out from two different chambers of Congress. Like your eyebrows, these bills are more like cousins, not identical twins. In order for the bill to actually
ruin our lives become law, the House and Senate have to convene a conference comittee to hammer out the differences and come up with a final version of the bill. Once that happens, it has to pass the House and Senate again, which is like, the Founding Fathers’ extremely extra plan for making sure we don’t pass anything that is insanely unpopular or irresponsible without proper review.
Spoiler alert, George Washington: it didn’t work.
STEP SIX: It Goes To The Most Unqualified Specimen On The Planet
After the bill gets through Senate, it goes to our President, which is currently Trump, obviously.
The President can:
1. Sign and pass the bill—making the bill a law.
2. Refuse to sign, or veto, the bill. That shit goes back to the House, along with the President’s reason for a veto. If Congress still thinks the bill is legit, they’ll say FDT and vote again. If two-thirds of Congress supports the bill, the President’s veto is overridden and the bill becomes a law. Boo, you whore.
3. Do nothing (aka what Trump is good at.) This is called a pocket veto. If Congress is in session, the bill automatically becomes law after 10 days. If Congress is not in session, the bill does not become a law. So like, don’t come back to work, Congress. Thnx.
There’s also a non-zero chance that President Trump will forget how to sign his name and we’ll be spared all of this…a girl can dream.
STEP SEVEN: The Bill Becomes A Law
If it passes all the above steps, the bill officially becomes a law and is enforced by the government, who royally fucks us with the long dick of the law.
So there it is. Tell your friends. And please do enjoy your private jet. You guys deserve it.
Need All Of That Explained In One Minute Or Less?
Watch our video. And like, maybe consider getting an Adderall prescription? Your attention span is a problem.
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The Great Orange Meanie himself can be so distracting that it’s easy (and more comforting at times tbh) to forget that he has an entire cabinet of shitheads facilitating his outlandish behavior and allowing him to Tweet come-ons at North Korea and Lavar Ball at 3:00AM. Sure, you know Kushner, Bannon, and Tillerson, but have you heard of these other shady monsters standing blindly standing on the sidelines as America goes down in flames? No? Well then let’s put them on blast.
You probably saw this picture recently and thought to yourself “Fuck, another God forsaken James Bond movie I’m going to have to endure this Christmas with my Dad.”
Well, I have good news and bad news. You won’t have to suffer through two hours of everyone pretending that Daniel Craig is God’s gift to the world because this is not the latest Bond villain. No, it’s former Goldman Sachs bro and current Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Louise Linton, his way-too-hot-for-him wife that for sure married him for love. Old Stevie here got his job by
having no morals being rich af, and that’s basically it. He had no government experience before taking Alexander Hamilton’s old job, but he did design a mail opening system for Trump Tower and was an executive producer on The Devil Wears Prada, so there’s that. Steve is a major supporter of the Republican tax bill – aka the bill that would give giant tax cuts to people who do shit like take tone deaf pictures holding giant stacks of money and looking slightly off camera – because fucking duh.
We also don’t have time to go into Louise Linton right now but like, shes basically a mashup between a Real Housewife and Cruella De Vil and you should really just Google her or something.
Scott Pruitt is the Administrator of the Environmental Protection agency, AKA the guy in charge of saving the planet. Pruitt is a literal climate change denier, who went into office promising to back off the “overreaching” focus on climate change that was in place and “move towards things like cleaning up the air, land, and water.” So you’re going to stop focusing on climate change, but also save the environment? Sounds like those might go hand and hand, but I guess I’m not an environmental expert. Oh wait, neither is Pruitt. Scott Pruitt’s claim to fame isn’t that he’s like, a climate scientist or anything like that. It’s that when he served as Oklahoma Attorney General, he sued the EPA 13 times. That’s like, the political equivalent of making you Administor of the Protection Agency.
Since taking office he’s held true to him promises, rolling back environmental protections, given the fossil fuel industry sway in public health decisions, and moved towards a system that will likely undermine actual pollution clean-up efforts. At least he’s honest?
Dan Scavino is the White House Director of Social Media and I have only one question for him: What the fuck? What the actual fuck, Dan?
Trump is 71-years-old, are you really telling me that you can’t figure out some way into tricking him into thinking he isn’t tweeting? Remember how Jim opened a Word doc and made Creed think it was his blog? Literally do that. He’ll have no idea.
Better yet, about a month ago it was revealed that Scavino may actually be ghost writing some of Trump’s tweets when an identical tweet appeared on both their accounts at the same time. So, like, Trump’s tweets might actually be planned out by somebody? Sad! Whatever, Dan. Have fun being a 41-year-old social media director.
As Secretary of the Interior, part of Zinke’s job is to “honor our nation’s responsibilities to tribal nations,” so you can probably guess how well that is going. One look at this guy tells me that that particular duty isn’t high on his priority list, probably because he’s too busy scamming old people and ensuring that Puerto Rico remains entirely powerless months after Hurricane Maria. Yeah, remember that shady two-man company that somehow snagged the $300 million contract for restoring power to Puerto Rico? That was Zinke’s friend.
Another one of his jobs is to sustain America’s water, lands, wildlife, and energy sources which makes that time he told a bunch of oil execs that “fracking is proof that God’s got a good sense of humor and he loves us,” extra poignant. Thanks, Zink!
Oh, and while serving as a Congressman to Montana, Zinke conveniently neglected to mention that he was living in California. I mean, we can’t really blame him for that one, but still. Sketch.
For many betches, the 2016 election was a painful reminder of how far women still have to go to earn equal representation in government. Like, it’s pretty hard to argue that women are equal when the American people were given the opportunity to choose between a former FLOTUS-turned-senator turned-Secretary-of-State and a racist Cheeto who runs beauty pageants and they made the Cheeto president (still not over it, sorry). In the U.S., women hold only 19.4% of the seats in Congress, with 83 women serving in the house and and 21 serving in the senate (78 Democrats, and 26 Republicans), and given that it’s been a casual 97 years since women earned the right to vote, those numbers are a fucking mess. Also, kind of puts how shittily our government is running these days into perspective. Like, oh you guys are having trouble communicating with the American people? Hmmm…I wonder what group of people could be missing from government that are also notoriously good communicators…hmm….
All that being said, there are badass betches in our government rocking blazers and telling men to STFU every day, and you should know who tf they are so that you know who to turn to when a large group of men try to do something crazy like defund Planned Parenthood.
1. MAXINE WATERS (D, CA)
If you have not already been inducted into the Church of Maxine, then sit your ass down because it is time to hear the good word. Maxine Waters, whose most recent TBT included a photo of her just casually chilling with Coretta Scott King, does not play, and has not played for a long fucking time. Mad Max has been in Congress since 1991, where she was an outspoken opponent of the shitshow commonly referred to as “The Iraq War.” Maxine currently serves as the representative from California’s 43rd district and is the most senior black woman in Congress, where she served as the head of the Congressional Black Congress from 1997-1998 (some of my best years, TBH). Most importantly, Maxine is a fucking baller with a notoriously low amount of fucks to give. Need an example? Check out this epic, mic-dropping press conference she gave literally moments after being briefed by FBI director James Comey, and then I’ll see you for Sunday for worship.
Maxine Waters is fed up with it all. pic.twitter.com/GiIhchM8Oy
— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) January 16, 2017
2. ELIZABETH WARREN (D, MA)
If you have ever used the internet (and you have, cuz you’re like…reading this now) you have definitely seen one of the ten thousand incredible viral takedowns that Sen. Elizabeth Warren serves up daily. Warren took office in 2013, making her the first female Senator from Massachusetts, and she promptly got to work fixing what was fucked. Most notably, Lizzie served as the head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which was created by Obama after the 2008 financial crisis (another thing that was primarily men’s fault) where she rose to prominence and Assistant to the President (Obama not….the other one) and Special Advisory to the Secretary of the Treasury. Since that time, Liz has become one of the boss betches of American politics, using her prominent platform to publicly roast anyone that she deems worthy of roasting. Liz has repeatedly said she has no interest in running for President, but hey, even Donald Trump said that in the eighties and look where the fuck we are now.
3. TAMMY DUCKWORTH (D,IL)
For most people, losing both your legs and damaging your right arm during military service in Iraq seems like a pretty reasonable point to say “I’m out” work-wise, but Tammy Duckworth of Illinois is not most people. That’s right. Before being elected to Congress in Illinois, Tammy lost both her fucking legs in Iraq and said, “Nah I’m not done yet.” Not only is Tammy the first disabled woman elected to the House of Representatives, she’s also the first Asian American woman elected in Illinois, and the first female double amputee from war in U.S. military history. So yeah, being the “first” comes pretty easily to Tammy. You know, I can actually think of another government job desperately in need of a woman that Tammy would be peeeerrfect for.
4. WENDY DAVIS (D, TX)
While Wendy is not technically in government right now, she did serve as representative for Texas’ 10th district in the Texas State Senate from 2009 to 2015, where she rose to prominence after holding an eleven-hour-long filibuster in opposition to Senate Bill 5, a measure that helped to continue Texas’ embarrassing obsession with restricting abortion rights. You’re thinking “That’s NBD, I could talk for eleven hours no problem, just ask my bf,” but could you do it…without sitting down? Or peeing? Or drinking wine? Yeah. Probs not.
5. KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND (D, NY)
Kirsten Gillibrand was elected Senator from New York in 2009, taking over the seat vacated by Hillary Clinton (heard of her?) and she has not stopped balling since. Sen. Gillibrand was the only member of the Senate to vote “no” on every Trump appointee besides Nikki Haley for U.N. Ambassador and has been an outspoken advocate for women’s rights. Also, thanks to her we now have someone in Congress named “Kirsten,” which is honestly a win for women with basic names everywhere.
6. TAMMY BALDWIN (D, WI)
Tammy Baldwin and her collection of kickass purple blazers was elected to the Senate in 2012, making her the first openly gay U.S. Senator in history. Since that time, Baldwin’s voting record has made her one of the most liberal members of Congress. She is a supporter of the Violence Against Women Act, the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, and the Equal Pay Act. Also, she’s up for reelection in 2018 so, yeah….let’s make that happen. Also, sidebar, but who knew there were so many Senators named Tammy?
7. SAIRA BLAIR (R, WV)
Saira Blair is a Republican (whaaa?) member of the West Virginia House of Delegates, and the youngest person ever elected to state or federal office. Blair casually joined the WV House of Delegates at the ripe old age of 18, when most people are planning their beach week and lying to their significant others about how they’ll totally stay together in college. Blair began her political career at 17, and was able to pull the ultra-boss move of voting for herself in the very first election she was ever allowed to vote in. Blair describes herself as “very conservative,” opposing abortion even in cases of rape and incest, and is a staunch supporter of voter ID laws, but hey, people change between high school and college. Like, am I still obsessed with Soco and crop tops? Well, okay, yes, but you get my point.
8. BARBARA MIKULSKI (D, MD)
Babs is retired now, but before she decided to leave work and begin a lifelong vacay, she was (and still is) the longest serving woman in the history of Congress. Mukulski served from 1987 to 2017, so like, three years longer than Taylor Swift has existed on the Earth. Babara saw a lot of shit in her 30 years as a senator. When she was elected, there was only one other female senator (Nancy Kassebaum of Kansas) and as a result they lacked a proper bathroom, meaning there was no place for Babs and Nanc to run and talk shit when the men were giving them anxiety. During her time in office, Barbara would host all the female senators from both sides of the aisle at her house for monthly group dinners, where I can only assume copious amounts of much needed wine drinking and shit talking took place.
9. ILHAN OMAR (D, MN)
While the 2016 election was generally a shit show all around, it did give us Ilhan Omar, the first Somali-American legislator to be elected to Minnesota’s House of Representatives. Omar, 34, who just happens to be a Somali refugee, proudly rocks a hijab (and statement necklace) each day at work. Representative Omar is a walking, talking contradiction to President Cheeto’s stance on refugees, and while being a Muslim-American woman in Minnesota is probably not easy, neither is looking this fucking fly, and Ilhan still manages.
10. JEANETTE RANKIN (R, MT)
Jeanette Rankin is another woman who is no longer in government, given that she was elected to the House of Representatives for Montana in 1917. That’s right, a full three years before women were even granted the right to vote, Jeanette Ranken was in Congress serving as a living, breathing example of how fucking cool women are for her colleagues in The House every damn day. Ranken was instrumental in securing the vote for women in 1920 (obvi), making her “the only woman who ever voted to give women the right to vote”—those are her words BTW.