Hey, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Just kidding: I’m actually just a millennial who has continued to allow a series about privileged teens define my personality for the last decade. And by “Upper East Siders,” I’m really just calling out to anyone who spends the majority of their paycheck on student loans and Peloton financing, but still maintains that they’re totally a Serena van der Woodsen. On the off chance that your efforts to make your weekly screen time report slightly less horrifying have finally paid off, you may have missed some major news: Gossip Girl is back. But this time, instead of simply serving designer looks and quotes sprinkled with alliteration, the new Gossip Girl is a reminder of our looming mortality. Yes, there’s still fashion and scheming, but make no mistake: These new kids are coming for millennials’ necks.
Gossip Girl has always been savage, but the game has clearly changed this time around. While Blair Waldorf’s punchlines typically targeted out-of-season Tory Burch flats and Tinsley Mortimer, the newest crop of Constance Billard kids are out to get us. I have never felt a gut punch quite like when Luna La declared in the premiere that Zara should be banned east of Lex. Actually, that’s a lie. I legitimately began Googling crow’s feet treatment when I realized Tavi Gevinson—the iconic influencer who came to fame at like, 12, back in the day when we were tuning into the CW to drool over Nate Archibald—was cast as an Old. And honestly, I’m not yet emotionally equipped to discuss the implications of a Gossip Girl that tolerates headband slander.
Manhattan’s elite went from banging out insults on the keyboard of an LG Chocolate to turning their noses up at REVOLVE partnerships, and even with a decade-long head start, millennials can’t compete. I mean, these kids are 17-year-olds drinking dirty martinis at members-only clubs on school nights while you’re hoping a crippling two-day hangover is enough of a distraction to prevent your coworker from realizing you still owe her a Venmo from after splitting a pitcher of frozen peach margaritas and buffalo cauliflower wings at happy hour.
When the original Gossip Girl finale aired, you likely had a dorm room closet full of peplum tops and a dream that someday in the not-too-distant future, you’d be perusing the Chanel flagship store for an outfit to wear in the Hamptons with your bestie that weekend. You probably never envisioned that when you were finally old enough to see the series rebooted, the closest you ever got to becoming Blair Waldorf was that one time you broke 200 likes on a photo of yourself at Ladurée.
If you watched Gossip Girl 2.0 without realizing this harsh reality, I have some bad news: you are not Julien Calloway simply because you force your significant other to pose for content for your Instagram Story. You may think you’re a cool millennial, but you’re most likely wrong. Here’s a quick test: If, in our lord’s year 2021, you still do not know that hashtags don’t really work if you have a private IG account, you have officially aged out of Constance Billard’s ruling class. You are no better than a group of private school teachers who legitimately thought they could go viral with a single tweet from a Twitter account with no followers. (Yes, even if you guffawed at the quip about Olivia Jade gaining followers when Lori Loughlin went to jail. We all should have had Gossip Girl referencing that scandal on our 2021 bingo cards.)
Fortunately, what does not kill you makes you stronger, and I truly believe that the generation that spent months licking our wounds after learning that side parts aren’t cool needs Gossip Girl now more than ever. We can love the series even though it may not love us back, like squeezing a squirming dog that does not want to be cuddled with. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back when a scene in the new series features a song that’s already been on your Spotify playlist for months. I, too, gained a false sense of confidence when I recognized “A Palé” by Rosalia the second it came through the speakers at the Christopher John Rogers fashion show. We all deserve that much. Just don’t forget to stay nimble: have a plan set in place for when these teens inevitably forge a trend that’s simply unsustainable for anyone over the age of 20. Nobody wants to see you roll up to your 9 to 5 with like, shaved eyebrows.
Images: Karolina Wojtasik/HBO Max
There are literally hundreds of celebrity couples, and as hard as I try, I can’t remember all of them. Of course, there are certain famous couples that literally everyone knows (George and Amal, Kim and Kanye, etc.), but there are just as many random celebrity couples that I can never remember, no matter how many times I’ve seen them together.
I feel like everyone talks about random celebrity couples from the past (the ’90s were WILD), but right now I’m more interested in the couples that are still together. I had trouble even writing this article, because I couldn’t remember which couples I couldn’t remember! But I pushed through, and here are six of the most random celebrity couples you might not remember.
Austin Butler & Vanessa Hudgens
This week, when it was announced that Austin Butler will be playing Elvis Presley in an upcoming biopic, it took me a second to remember who he is. In particular, I had completely forgotten that he and Vanessa Hudgens have been together since 2011. That’s a long time! She started dating Austin soon after breaking up with Zac Efron (RIP Zanessa), and they’ve been together ever since.
Dua Lipa & Anwar Hadid
Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid are one of the newest celebrity couples, so rather than forgetting they’re together, you probably just didn’t know yet. Gigi and Bella’s brother has dated actress Nicola Peltz in the past, as well as being linked to Kendall Jenner. Dua Lipa recently broke up with chef Isaac Carew, after dating him on and off for years. It remains to be seen if this new couple will last, but they’re both very pretty, if nothing else.
Bella Hadid & The Weeknd
Everyone knows about Bella Hadid and The Weeknd’s past relationship, but I always have to double check whether they’re still a thing. The Weeknd famously dated Selena Gomez for a hot minute while they were broken up, but they’ve been back together since last year.
Leighton Meester & Adam Brody
For some reason, I can never get it through my head that Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf are married to each other. Leighton and Adam met while filming a movie in 2010, and got married in 2014. They seem like a great, drama-free couple, which is probably why I never remember that they’re together.
Taylor Swift & Joe Alwyn
Taylor Swift has had many famous boyfriends in the past, but she’s never kept a relationship private like her current one with Joe Alwyn. Joe is an actor who has been steadily working on some acclaimed movies for a few years now, but he’s yet to really hit it big. This is probably nice for Taylor Swift, who has barely talked about their relationship since they first got together in 2016. If they ever do break up, she’s going to write one hell of an album about it.
Channing Tatum & Jessie J
When Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced their divorce last year, it sort of felt like the end of an era. I love Step Up, okay? Well, Channing moved on from Jenna with someone who…looks a lot like Jenna. Jessie J and Channing have kept their relationship pretty under the radar since getting together in late 2018, but they’re photographed out and about together all the time.
Which random pairings did I miss? Which celebrity couples can you just not wrap your head around? Let me know in the comments, because I could talk about this all day.
Images: Vanessa Hudgens; Shutterstock (9)
In the past few years, there have been approximately one million reboots, spin-offs, and revivals of classic TV shows, and it’s definitely gotten a little tiring. I thought I was officially done giving reboots a chance, but apparently there’s room in my heart for one more, because Gossip Girl is officially coming back next year.
On Wednesday, HBO announced a 10-episode series order for an updated Gossip Girl reboot on their new HBO Max streaming service, which is set to launch in early 2020. Exact timing for the long-awaited return to the Upper East Side hasn’t been announced yet, but sometime in 2020 seems like a safe bet. People have been talking about the possibility of Gossip Girl coming back basically since the original series finale in 2012, so it feels crazy that now it’s actually happening.
While the original show took place in the late 2000s, when social media was just becoming a thing, the Gossip Girl reboot will put us in the present, with a new crop of high schoolers. While I’m a little bit sad that this means the original cast likely won’t be back in any significant capacity, I’m excited to see how the premise of Gossip Girl works in 2019 (or 2020). I feel like Instagram culture must be a nightmare for teenagers now, so I hope they address that.
The Gossip Girl creators telling the old cast about the reboot:
According to E! News, “The series picks up eight years after the original Gossip Girl site went dark, a new generation of private school teens are introduced to the watchful eye of Gossip Girl.” I wasn’t really aware that the site had gone dark in the first place, but I’m glad it’s back to wreak havoc on the teens of the UES. I mean, I’m assuming it will wreak havoc, because why else would I want to watch?
HBO Max, which is a collaborative effort between HBO and WarnerMedia, was just announced last week, but they’re already making me want to give them all my money. The Gossip Girl reboot is probably a good enough reason to subscribe, but this is also the same streaming service that Friends is headed to after it leaves Netflix at the end of this year. Don’t shoot the messenger, but you’re probably going to have to pay for another streaming service. Or text your ex and ask for his password. Do you.
Right now, we don’t have many details about the Gossip Girl reboot, but the original creative team is still heavily involved, so I have faith that it’ll be dramatic and entertaining if nothing else. My biggest wish is that the original cast will at least make an appearance (really, what else does Leighton Meester have going on), but hopefully the new characters are amazing too. Obviously, we’re all excited about this, so 2020 can’t come fast enough.
Everyone can agree that Gossip Girl is a show iconic for its fashion. From Serena’s sensual menswear looks to Blair’s classic plaid pieces and extravagant bows, each character has their own distinct personal style. Even lowly Joe—I mean, Dan Humphrey—has a very defined struggling-writer-hipster-wannabe-from-Brooklyn style of his own. However, even the greatest scripted show on television, with all its flawless fashion looks, couldn’t get it right every time. With rumors of a potential Gossip Girl reboot picking up steam (fingers crossed), let’s take a look back at some of the show’s greatest fashion crimes. Here are some of the worst Gossip Girl looks of all time.
Let’s start with Queen B. It’s easy to immediately declare that she can do no wrong; she was a princess, after all. Oh, but she can. She veryyyy much can. I mean, she did have a stint with Lonely Boy, can’t forgive her for that. But Blair has made some questionable fashion choices FOR SURE. I mean, personally I’m not here for her preppy blouses or childish bows, but it’s part of her look, so I’ll accept it. But what I won’t accept is this monstrosity. Okay Queen B, everyone knows you run the school. You got a lot of “yes” people. That being said, no one’s going to have the balls to tell you how horrific those banana yellow heels are, or yell at you for wearing mauve tights with open-toed shoes. The green coat isn’t good, and neither is a yellow shirt underneath it with gold accessories, but those shoes first and foremost are an abomination.
Look, I know we don’t always love our bridesmaid dresses, but I legit hate this. I mean, we all know Lily has always been not so low-key jealous of Serena. So really, it’s no shock that she would put her in her place with this terrible bridesmaid dress. I get the impression that she picked out this dress thinking it would be ugly af, but then saw Serena in it and was like, “Oh, f*ck! She still somehow looks good. Well, I’m not going to let her outshine me on my very special 5,000th wedding day! Okay, I’ll make her add these weird-ass black accessories to make her look real clownish.” Mission accomplished.
I don’t know whose self-centered oblivious attitude annoys me more: Serena or Lil J. Like, I get it, Jenny. It DOES suck that you live in Brooklyn with Lonely Boy as a brother and Rufus, a wannabe rockstar with Peter Pan syndrome, as a father. Def not ideal. But your bratty and entitled behavior is beyond what you have earned for your unfortunate family. And this outfit is unforgivable. It’s the definition of Lil J constantly trying too hard. Like, you’re a pretty girl with an eye for fashion, and sweetie, you’re going to make it out of Brooklyn! Just chill. You don’t need two oversize T-shirts layered on top of each other, plus fishnets, plus the largest bag I’ve ever seen. You’re supposed to take off one thing before you leave the house, and Jenny could’ve take off four.
Oh, wait. You know how I just said I didn’t know who annoyed me more, Serena or Jenny? My b, forget that because Vanessa hands down takes the cake with the title of most annoying on Gossip Girl. It’s a shame because she’s stunning, yet is the definition of pesky. Between her self-righteous attitude and tacky discount store wardrobe, she is the absolute worst. For example, combo of a horrible statement necklace and baggy jeans stuffed into Converse with cartoons on them. It gives me all the cringe sweats. It looks like something you get on the JCPenney clearance rack in the curated “teen” section. It’s just doing too much, just like martyr Vanessa always does.
I think almost any girl who’s watched Gossip Girl can admit that there is just something so inexplicably hot about Chuck Bass. Maybe it’s the self-confidence, the money, the power? Idk, but no matter how objectively hot Nate is, it’s Chuck’s true BDE that makes every girl wet. Explicit, but true. However, what doesn’t do it for me? Chuck’s double argyle with shorts and bow tie look. AND the socks are high socks. Just why? This is a look you’d see on a WASP-y dad at a golf course. I’m going to scream.
Like I said, I’m praying that this isn’t just a rumor and that we really are getting a Gossip Girl reboot. I mean, considering no one can seem to come up with any original ideas anymore for scripted TV, I’m down for an attempted reboot. If you’ve been watching Riverdale this season then you know The CW is really reaching right now. Let’s just hope that they do it right, and not some corny knockoff version that makes us forget why we loved it in the first place.
Images: Getty (5)