One of the things I love most about Gossip Girl is the slew of random characters whose sole purpose is to keep the plot interesting by shaking things up for our favorite four Upper East Siders and two annoying Brooklynites who endlessly complain about their unfortunate financial lot in life from their gigantic loft in one of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods. I digress. Anyway, as with any television show, each season introduces a few new characters, some of whom are truly perfect temporary additions to the cast, like
Fleur Delacour Eva Coupeau, and others are less than perfect, like most of the writers’ choices.
I’m a loyal GG lover, so I typically hold back when it comes to some of the laughable wardrobe choices, but as I rewatch this scripted trash for the ninth time, I can’t bite my tongue about the most egregious part of this show: the randos. Without further ado, I give you the worst and/or most annoying random characters who we all love to hate. Enjoy.
For those of you who forgot who she is, allow me to remind you. She’s the sister of the boarding school teacher-turned-convicted-felon with whom Serena allegedly had an affair when she was 15 and he was…older than 15. Mhmm, makes sense. Anyway, if I had to pick the worst thing about Juliet, it would have to be the way she dresses. Literally, all of her outfits are different yet heinous versions of the same business-professional dress with a cropped blazer over it. Like???? When I was in college, I literally wore jeans and sweaters every goddamn day.
Aside from her sartorial errors. her character is also incredibly creepy. I’m pretty sure the most disturbing exchange in this entire series is one that took place between Juliet and her brother during a prison visit when she says, “Keep your focus on not getting raped or killed” to which he responds, “It’s a minimum security prison” and she counters with, “And you’re hot” and then they seductively hold hands across the table and exchange minxy smiles. I think it’s totally okay to say he’s handsome or attractive because, criminal or not, he is both of those things, but hot? That’s your BROTHER. Why don’t you go take a cold shower, sis! Also, her whole purpose on this show is to, like, physically injure Serena and get her expelled from college, which is pretty shameful. Even Georgina would disapprove of this.
Damien has a lot of unfortunate qualities that earned him a spot on this list, but the one thing I truly couldn’t stand was how condescending he was to Jenny while they were dating. When they were about to have sex, she was really nervous because she was a virgin and he was like, “I get it. I’m older than you and when I date someone, sex is a a big part of the relationship. You’re a young, innocent girl, so I get that you’re nervous.” He was in Serena’s class at boarding school, which would make him no more than two years older than Jenny, so I’m confused as to why he’s talking to her like a World War II veteran who’s seen more than she ever will.
Acting like a cultured citizen of the world was like, his whole persona, which I just found incredibly annoying because he was literally 18 at the time, so no one’s buying it, sweetie.
This is another character whose circumstances really confused me. My knowledge of British monarchy is based solely on The Crown, so forgive me if I’m wrong, but if Catherine were a “lady,” that would mean she’s married to a duke, which we’ve been told she is. So if that’s the case, why would they be summering in the Hamptons and living in a townhouse in Manhattan the rest of the time? Don’t they have royal duties in England to carry out? Don’t forget, this was pre-Meghan Markle.
The second, and slightly bigger, issue with this lady is that she has a title of nobility and yet she’s paying an underage American kid to bang her against her dryer every few days. Two felonies for the price of one! How did this affair even work? Would she text him on her burner cell and be like, “Hey, when you’re done with algebra, can you come over?” Let us not forget, she was also f*cking her stepson. Safe to say, this woman needs therapy.
I know she’s not technically considered random since she’s in every season, but she’s not part of the main six, so to me, she’s a random. Sorry (not really) to all of the Vanessa die-hards, but she plainly sucks. She’s one of those people who feels way too comfortable around people she just met and, maybe it’s just me because I still don’t feel comfortable around people I’ve known my whole life, but that’s not a likable quality. Second, I didn’t like how she was always at private events for schools she didn’t attend! Like, she was at literally every dance, party, and study session of the Constance girls and then at the Columbia alumni events. Seriously, she doesn’t even go here!
Okay, to set the record straight, I hated the fake Charlie Rhodes (Ivy Dickens), but lived for the real Lola Rhodes. I know this isn’t a character flaw, but there was something about her voice that made it really hard to get on board with anything she was talking about, and her pretending to have a mental illness to explain her behavior wasn’t cool.
I know she was an actress being paid by the real Lola Rhodes’ mom to pretend to be her (happens all the time), but couldn’t Ivy have just, like, gotten another acting job that didn’t involve fraud? I can’t imagine being so desperate for a job that I’d hear Carol’s pitch and think it was a good idea.
Sorry, but Tripp and his waspy-ass name was a giant p*ssy. Like, literally everything about him was so pathetic and sad—especially when he crashed his car and put Serena in the driver’s seat to make it seem like it was her fault. Why do all of these people in positions of power take no more than two seconds to consider whether or not they want to commit a crime? I take more time deciding between two identical pale pink nail polishes than Tripp did to pin a car crash on his mistress. I also feel like Nate’s fancy politico cousin should have been 10 times hotter than Tripp, who looks like he calls his mom four times a day. I definitely wouldn’t have voted for him.
Hands down Serena’s least likable boy toy. His skinny scarves and confusing haircut were enough for me to decide he sucks, but then he opened his mouth and…it didn’t help his cause. Like Damien with Jenny, Aaron acts like Serena is just a young and stupid child who doesn’t understand the complexities of adulthood, which is hilarious to me because Blake Lively was 22 playing a 17-year-old, but whatever. Anyway, even if that is the case, you are fully aware that she’s in high school, so stop acting like her being young is a flaw you have to get past! He should be more concerned with the statutory rape he’s committing.
Also, his whole “I date multiple women at once” thing is just gross. I understand that you can’t expect monogamy after knowing each other for approximately five minutes, but Aaron, you don’t need to constantly remind her that you’re f*cking 10 other women at the moment. All in all, he was not hot enough to act that smug and condescending, and I was truly elated when Serena told
us Dan that she left in him in Argentina.
And there you have it, the worst random characters in Gossip Girl! Did I leave any out? Let me know who you hated the most in the comments! Until next time, Upper East Siders. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
Images: Giphy (8)
In case you haven’t noticed, Betches has a completely unhealthy obsession with reality television. When we say unhealthy, we mean the Food God’s artery-clogging Instagram meals level of unhealthy. And when we say obsession, we mean the Food God’s level of obsession with finding his name on Twitter. So who better to interview than GG, who has had a backstage pass to the reality television world for years? Maybe you remember GG’s stint as the girl who slapped James Kennedy in the face after he denied cheating on Raquel with her on Vanderpump Rules, but she also has an impressive CV that includes working as an assistant for reality show riot makers like Kris Jenner and Corinne Olympios. We sat down with GG Gilbert-Soto to get the scoop on what it’s like working for, with, and as a reality star.
How did you start working for Lisa Vanderpump?
I actually just dropped off my resume at SUR and they were desperate for hostesses so I got hired right away. They interviewed me for the show after I started working there for several months.
Do producers red flag employees and notice things so they decide who to interview? How does that process go?
Yeah, definitely. SUR actually has so many employees, like 40. And of course, only 10 are on the show, or even less. Some people refuse to be on the show, some people desperately want to be on the show. The producers kinda follow you for a couple of months and see if you interact with the cast, because if you have no relevance, you’re not gonna be on the show.
So how did you start getting wrapped up in the cast?
I actually started becoming friends with James. We started off as just friends. I thought he was cool, and um, he wasn’t. I’m actually cool with him now. I don’t actually see him, but if we run into each other, he’s pretty nice and even his girlfriend is nice to me. But I rarely see them.
Did you watch Vanderpump Rules at all?
No, not before. I knew about it but didn’t watch it. I only watched the episodes I was on.
How did you feel about the things James said about you on the show?
He was pretty mean about my appearance. It was such a low blow and the only thing he could do was try to hurt me that way, which is fine because I’m okay with the way I look. But when he was talking sh*t about me, a lot of people felt bad. A lot of people were also cheering him on, though.
Well, I get why people egg him on, because he’ll say anything for attention.
Yeah, in the episodes I watched, he was pretty entertaining. I get why he’s on the show.
Who would you say is the most different on camera versus off camera?
Um, I think Ariana and Tom because they were pretty mean to me, but then they’d be nice to me off camera. I don’t have any problem with anyone on the show. People would be so nice, but then once the cameras were on . I don’t know. They were pretty fake. But then at the end of the season, when we were doing photo shoots and stuff, everyone was pretty nice to me. I don’t know, it was just funny to see how people were mean when they needed to be.
Who would you say is the most authentic on camera and off camera?
Lala, for sure. She’s really sweet, honestly. I feel like any time she was amped up, she would say the same things she would say off camera or on camera. And she would notice when people were different on camera and off camera. And that’s why people thought she was mean, but she’s actually a really sweet girl. She just takes no sh*t.
Were you asked to join the cast?
I wasn’t. A lot of people thought I was going to, but I was not. I think it’s because I just started to not hang out with any of them anymore and I got other jobs. I was still working at SUR, but I was doing a lot of stuff outside of it. I was working as an assistant at a talent agency, which I kind of regret now, and I was only working at SUR once or twice a week and getting shifts covered. But I really do love SUR.
Why did you leave SUR?
I was doing way too much. I signed up for all these side projects. I became an assistant to Corinne from The Bachelor. But a lot of people work there for years, then they take a year off, then they go back. SUR has always had a family vibe to it, and I still talk to everybody. Some of those people are my best friends.
So are you giving up the entertainment industry for good?
I don’t know. I’m at a weird point and I’m not sure what I want to do anymore. I’m young, I’m 25. When I first moved to L.A., being famous was the only thing on my mind. Now I’m just like… I definitely wanna be rich, that’s why I’m just trying to work for my parents’ companies. I don’t want to say that I’m giving it up forever.
I mean, you were really entertaining on the show. I have actually used some of your lines before. Like, “Are there unicorns in this fantasy world where James Kennedy is loyal?”
Oh my god! That’s amazing! That was fun, being a b*tch like that. I actually heard about that Lindsay Lohan reality show and I was going to apply for that one, but it was too late.
So I always hear you worked for Kris Jenner, was that before or after Pump Rules?
That was before. It started off as a college internship at Jenner Communications. My friend was her assistant and got me the job. My friend ended up moving back to London, and Kris just started using her interns as her assistants. It became super hectic, so I was like, “Listen, I can’t do this as an intern but I’d love to be your assistant or your assistant runner,” and she was like, “Oh yeah, for sure.” But it was just too hectic for two college students to be her assistants, so I left. But it was an experience, it was kind of like, a humbling experience.
Is she a lot like Lisa?
Hmmmm, okay sometimes Kris was super cool, and other times, she was like, f*cking vicious. But it’s not her fault, she’s a businesswoman. Sometimes you have to be mean to people who work for you. I totally get it. But it was a good experience because I was a college student and I know how to work for difficult people now. Honestly, when she had a drink in her, she was the best. Like, all the assistants would text each other, like, “She’s had a drink! Go in! Mission clear, go!”
Who was your favorite Karjenner?
I didn’t get to know many of them, but I worked mostly with Kris and Kylie. I guess Kylie is my least favorite. Sometimes she was nice, but other times, because she grew up famous, she didn’t really know how to be normal. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloé know what it’s like not to be famous so they know how to be personable. Kim was living in Kris’ house when I was working, and she was actually really sweet any time I interacted with her. Kanye West, definitely number one nicest guy I’ve ever met.
I heard he’s really personable.
Yeah, he’d remember my name. Ask me where I’m from. Really nice guy.
Yeah, I feel like it’s all blown out of proportion when he’s in front of the camera.
Yeah, it’s like that for everyone in that world. Honestly, it’s really cliche to say this, but it’s hard to judge someone when you don’t know them off-camera. I feel bad for Kanye West because he gets so much sh*t. I feel bad that all these people get bad reputations when you don’t really know them, or have had a one-on-one interaction with them.
Is there anyone on Pump Rules you would say deserves their reputation because you know them both on and off camera?
Well, I haven’t seen the new season.
Well, Jax cheated on Brittany and Scheana was obsessed with Rob so you didn’t miss much.
I actually remember that day . I was working at SUR and everyone was at Scheana’s party.
Is Scheana the one that deserves the reputation? My money’s on her.
Ugh, honestly I don’t really like Scheana. I don’t have a problem with her but she’s the fakest girl I’ve ever met. Like, she’d come up from behind me and hug me and then I’d hear from other people that she was talking sh*t about me. So I actually think she comes off as way too good on the show. Jax is a horrible cheater but he’s always been so nice to me. Scheana, I like her least.
So how did you get your job with Corinne?
It’s so funny because I feel like everything I’ve been involved with entertainment-wise… has been so random. I was a fan because I watched The Bachelor for the first time ever. Had never seen it before Nick’s season. I thought Corinne was so funny.
I never watched it either but then I watched it for her.
Me too! I actually had a lot of friends who said, “You’re just like this girl!”
Me too! So you just saw on her Instagram story that she was hiring an assistant and DMed her?
Yeah, and she DMed me her email right away. Like, she called me a day later, interviewed me on the phone, and I went to her house a week later.
So what was an interview with Corinne like?
Um, I don’t think she’s ever interviewed somebody for a position before. It didn’t seem very professional. She just asked me a couple of random questions about my experience and was like, “Okay, you’re hired.”
So what was the day in the life of being Corinne’s assistant?
It started off with me helping her grocery shop, or just going with her to some filming thing. It was some interview, and I Snapchatted her on her phone. Even from the beginning, she said, “Part of this job is just being with me because I don’t like being alone.” I’m really shy before I get to know someone, and so she thought I was really shy and quiet. But I would just go with her to do things. And we became friends. It was kind of just me accompanying her to random interviews, or doing Fear Factor with her. We were on that for like, five minutes, but it was funny.
So you were more of like, no offense, the Jonathan Cheban to her Kim Kardashian than her Stephanie Shepard?
There seems to be an overlap between Pump Rules and the Bachelor franchise. What are your thoughts on Kristen Doute calling Corinne satanic and psychotic?
I actually don’t know the story behind that, but I saw Kristen do it and thought it was awesome.
What about Scheana and Robby Hayes?
Haven’t heard anything about it. Usually, when I hear Scheana’s name I just tune out because I don’t like her.
What other Bachelor franchise stars did you hang out with?
Oh, I love Jasmine. She was a cool chick.
I thought she seemed crazy.
No, she’s normal. Alexis is really funny. I met Rachel and her fiancé and they were really nice. But they’re not really close with Corinne.
Images: GG Gilbert-Soto; Giphy (4); Author (1)
It’s been a few years since Gossip Girl ended, but we’re obviously all still in love with Chuck Bass and consider Blair Waldorf to be a top female role model in life, followed by Michelle Obama. The show offered us a lot to learn about the plight of being young, hot, and rich in New York City, and much of its wisdom will simply never go out of style (ahem, everything spoken by Dorota). There were a few lessons from the show that we maybe shouldn’t take literally, although not positive TBCH. Here are the 15 lessons from Gossip Girl that are technically accurate, but still questionable.
1. Getting stalked is a completely normal part of high school and actually pretty desirable.
2. You might end up low-key almost murdering someone, but it’s fine if you’re pretty.
3. If you don’t murder someone, you’ll probably have at least a couple mental disorders, which is the minimum to live on the Upper East Side.
4. There will also be a decent amount of sociopaths who serve no other purpose than to plot your demise.
5. Don’t expect to get any help from parents, because they’re all even more sexually repressed and unstable.
6. Make sure to acquire a few “minions,” because it’s not grounds for harassment if they’re being graced by your presence.
7. Remember that the school uniform is CEOs and Office Hoes.
8. Don’t even bother going into the Met.
9. Be careful of socializing with outsiders who live in a sketchy place called “Williamsburg.”
10. (Hot tip: Williamsburg is a great place to live if you’re poor. You can get this enormous loft for basically nothing.)
11. On the bright side, being rich allows you to get into any Manhattan bar or club at age 16 and skip puberty.
12. It can also buy you the only thing that matters in life, which is a Polish maid named Dorota.
13. It’s easy to maintain a secret identity in a small high school by starting a blog with a traceable IP address, or wearing a two-inch mask to a party.
14. In the end, you’ll end up marrying your fuckboy high school boyfriend who refused to commit to you for several years.
15. Overall, high school is a really sexy time, and with any luck, you’ll have the opportunity to turn down your Ivy League acceptance to maintain all your toxic relationships in NYC!
XOXO, Gossip Girl