Curvy Wife Guy Robbie Tripp Is Human Garbage

Head Pro also loves curvy women, but he doesn’t talk about it so that makes him a cool feminist or whatever. Watch as he doesn’t talk about his love for big beautiful ladies on Twitter and Insta at @betchesheadpro.

Is there anything more #inspirational than the love shared between a man and a voluptuous, pear-shaped woman? Yes. Like, literally so many things. But Robbie Trip doesn’t seem to think so, which is why last week he posted the following stupid Instagram picture:

Curvy Wife Guy

Somehow this went viral, and the normal cycle took hold: Outlets like HuffPost thought it was inspiring, and countless articles praised this man for having the temerity to be attracted to the woman he willingly married. But then as it so often does, BuzzFeed got ahold of it and ruined it. Something about the BuzzFeed article caused Twitter, the most vile website on Earth, to give Robbie the mocking he so righteously deserved.

The shift in public opinion, which happened in about the time it would take you to hungoverly stream a season of Laguna Beach, is a good example of how the internet makes things bad. We all have opinions and preferences. I, too, am not repulsed by women on the thicky-thicc end of the spectrum, for example. But when you make a point of coming out and saying so without solicitation, you’ve invited people to pick apart your statement based on its merits.

In this case, the internet correctly arrived at the opinion that making a point to express an opinion that shouldn’t be controversial isn’t heroic, it makes you an asshole. Good for you for loving your wife with her “cute little side roll”, dude. Anyone who would normally care already knew that.

But in an extremely satisfying turn of events, there’s another reason to hate Robbie (and his courageously not-stick-thin wife): they’re terrible fucking people.

Exhibit A: The rest of Robbie’s Instagram, where he posts shit like this constantly.

Robbie Tripp Instagram

“Dreamchasing” isn’t a word, bro. He has a solid 55k followers from posting shit like this, which tells me that we will absolutely deserve it when North Korea finally nukes us into oblivion.

Exhibit B: Robbie gave the worst TEDx talk in history.

Linked from his Instagram profile is a video of Robbie giving a TEDx talk, which already makes him a huge asshole. But then I found out that it’s called “Why Millennial Narcissists Are Changing The World,” and I started to get mad.

And then he opened the talk by saying “I was born in the year of our fresh prince, 1990,” and my fucking head exploded into vapor. Literally nothing about this does anything to dispel the notion that we are the worst generation.

Exhibit C: Robbie and his tremendous wife already Milkshake Ducked themselves.

If, unlike me, you don’t spend hours each day losing brain cells on Twitter and are thus unfamiliar with “milkshake duck,” it comes from the following tweet, and I am gleeful to report that it could not be more literally applicable to this situation.

Milkshake Duck

So if there’s anyone still out there who thinks Robbie (and his wife) are an inspiration, strap the fuck in:

Yeah, ol’ Rob and his wife are boilerplate Trump supporter types, it seems. There was more, but since he went viral he’s been deleting with the fury of a thousand armies. Isn’t it a little odd that a man who’s willing to accept the praise for one of his convictions (to the point where now he’s posting screenshots of positive responses) isn’t willing to stand by the rest of them?

No, it’s not odd at all, because everything is awful and these people are the worst. 

Head Pro also loves curvy women, but he doesn’t talk about it so that makes him a cool feminist or whatever. Watch as he doesn’t talk about his love for big beautiful ladies on Twitter and Insta at @betchesheadpro.

This Is How Long You Should Talk On Dating Apps Before Meeting Up

We’ve officially reached a point where dating apps are a standard way to meet people. Much like CD’s replaced the cassette and the record before that, technology is changing and making things more convenient, which your grandma will argue makes them less worthwhile. Can I live, Nana? In the case of dating apps vs meeting people IRL, you’re still talking about yourself to people and judging their ability to make you happy for life. We’ve just gone from watching their dance moves at the sock hop or whatever to swiping through vacation photos and judging their ability to write a short witty bio and wondering why so many guys pose with dead fish.

But no matter how witty someone is on Tinder, they still don’t matter until you’ve met them in person. I mean, remember Smarterchild? You can talk with a bot on AIM for hours, but that bot will never care how your day went. So obvs the goal of dating apps is to actually meet someone in person to decide if you’re into them or not. How long should you actually talk before meeting up? Here is our definitive guide to when you should and shouldn’t meet up with someone.

You’ve been talking for about week constantly but you haven’t exchanged numbers yet: So if you and a guy are hitting it off, you should make a plan to hang out within the week you matched. That means you probably have had time to figure out the basics like job, location, whether he can reply to texts on time or not, and how likely he is to murder you and wear your skin. Plus by then Facebook will have decided he’s your soulmate and start putting him in Suggested Friends. You know he’s seeing the same thing on his profile. If you don’t make plans to meet and he’s already worked his way into your algorithm, you’ve waited too long.

It’s best to make a plan for that weekend or the next week, because anything later means you’ll probably just cancel on each other. Once you make plans, instead of simmering on the dating app, you should give him your number so you can text each other in the day leading up to meeting IRL. Switching from dating app messaging to texting a few days before the date will make it feel like you’re building to something. You’ll be able to have longer conversations that won’t feel like you’re talking to ten other people at the same time.

Texting

You’ve been talking on and off for almost a month, and neither of you have made plans to meet up: I mean, he sees that you’re witty and hot and still hasn’t asked you out? Then he’s probably in a relationship and def just using Tinder to power play his way out of feeling trapped. If he hasn’t asked you out yet but you’re also not that into it, you’re probably both keeping each other as backburners for when you’re both bored. You should unmatch him because your time is precious and why waste perfect conversation on a mediocre match?

He asks you to get drinks as soon as you match: If he asks you to meet up on the first conversation you have, he’s just trying to fuck. Like, this guy doesn’t even know that you have a job or that your hobbies don’t include arson, and he’s already trying to meet up? Only reason he’d risk that is for the pussy. He’s not trying to get to know you. So unless you’re one day post-breakup territory, him pushing to get drinks right away is usually a red flag. If that’s not what you’re into, just unmatch him. Don’t even bother giving an excuse.

Boy Bye

He asked you for your number after talking to you for a few days: He probably does want to meet up with you but is intimidated. I mean, why wouldn’t he be? If he’s already asked for your number, he is interested. Ask him if he wants to get drinks—if he made the move to get your number he’ll appreciate you taking the lead on setting a plan.

He says things like “We should get drinks sometime” but doesn’t actually make a plan and sometimes takes weeks to respond: Fuck this guy. He wants to keep you on his radar for a hookup in the very distant—and I mean distant—future. I mean, if you’re into that and need to add a new guy to your rotation, then by all means entertain this fuckery. But you’re not a priority to this dude and in reality you’re more likely to meet John Stamos on a plane and have him tell you you’re pretty than actually get drinks with the Tinder dude. It’s like he’s already gone out on dates and came back around and found you and thought, “oh yeah… her.” You don’t want to be a sweater he found while cleaning out his closet that he decides to try on for fun. Block that bro.

He makes a plan for two weeks from now: He is either going to cancel on you, or you’re going to cancel on him. Neither of you really care that much about each other or you’d try harder to hang out. In the back of your mind you think he could be the love of your life if you just met him, but deep down you know that’s def not true. Like, you probably enjoyed 3 out of 5 of his photos, and he may have said something politically insensitive that makes you think you are not going to enjoy talking to him. Unmatch him and move on, you don’t need new friends.