Oh God, It’s Gemini Season: Weekly Horoscopes May 20-24

Strap in everybody, because Gemini season is upon us. The good news? Every sign is about to see major changes in their love, social, career, and family lives. The bad news? Every sign is about to see major changes in their love, social, career, and family lives. The next few weeks are going be all about taking the good with the bad, and staying calm when everything feels like an absolute disaster. We’ll get through it, I promise.


You know that sh*t you’ve been procrastinating since the end of 2018? Yeah, it’s time to get that done. Once you do, the stars are aligned for you to sprout wings and become the social butterfly of your dreams. But no butterfly can fly if it’s dragging a bunch of unfinished baggage around. Is that how butterflies work? Does this metaphor make sense?


Taurus season is coming to an end, which could put you in kind of a funk, but only if you let it! Spend the first half of the week honoring Taurus season by pampering the f*ck out of yourself, then ring in the Gemini by letting yourself get a little messy. Depending on what type of Taurus you are, that could mean anything from not checking off one of your eleven daily goals to stealing a boat and waking up in international waters married to a billionaire. Either/or.


Welcome to your season, b*tch! Get ready for everyone to start acting a little more like you, aka fun as f*ck but low-key psycho. You’ve got one more day to harness that Taurus energy and get your sh*t in order before your Gemini side takes over and then…well…what happens in Gemini season stays in Gemini season. I’m pretty sure that argument will hold up in court.


Get ready for some serious self-reflection, Cancer. The start of Gemini season has you looking critically at your life, which means now is the perfect time for you to start thinking about all the stuff in your life that’s holding you back. Fair-weather friends, hookups that aren’t going anywhere, and yes, even those outfits from college that do not fit anymore. You’ll be better off without ‘em.


Your communication skills are through the roof right now, so if there are any awkward conversations you’ve been avoiding, this is a good week to bite the bullet. Need a raise? Ask now. Need to define a relationship? Send the preliminary “can we talk?” text. You’ll find that this week, you miraculously have all the words to explain why you need all the money/love/freedom your heart desires.


It’s time to do something that you literally hate but will help you in the long run—ask for help. The stars are aligned for all your wildest bullet journal dreams to come true, but you’re going to need a little extra push to get over the edge. Think of someone who can help you with one of your goals and send them a “can I pick your brain over coffee?” request. Just try not to put too many exclamation points in the email.


Taurus season turned you into a literal Instagram detective, but it’s time to wrap up your investigations and figure out what to do with all of the information you have gathered. You don’t need to follow up on every lead, and there’s definitely a difference between “keeping it real” and “being a giant bitch.” Choose carefully.


You are in a glass case of emotion rn Scorpio, and that’s okay. Gemini season is hard on everybody. The only thing you should absolutely *not* do right now is try to sweep those emotions under the rug for the sake of seeming chill. That is a recipe for a drunken brunch outburst if I’ve ever heard one. Being honest and gentle with yourself will help you feel better faster, and “chill” people are all secretly psycho anyway.


Time to check in with your old friends, Sagittarius! You know, the people who knew you when you had bad eyebrows (but also knew never to bring it up). Rekindling some of your OG friendships will help you reconnect with your roots, and maybe even help you rediscover some lost hobbies you can start up again. Do people still make mix CDs?


The time to lock down your summer romance is now, Capricorn. But in order to do that, you’re going to have to put yourself out there. Make some plans off the beaten path this week in hopes of meeting someone you wouldn’t normally run into. They could be The One! Or at the very least, The One Who Is Buying You A Drink Right Now.


You’re another sign whose love life is heating up, Aquarius! But that doesn’t mean you feel like settling down. Play the field this week and see if anyone gives you the feeling they could be a more lasting thing. Not that they have to. It’s 2019, after all.


You’re f*cking tired, Pisces, and that’s okay. Taurus season took a lot out of you and now it’s time to chill. Go ahead and cancel all your evening plans (let’s be real, you always knew you were going to) and spend this week regaining your strength. Also, canceling plans feels amazing, 10/10 would recommend.

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Happy Birthday, Gemini! Here’s Your Birthday Month Horoscope

In our ongoing efforts to make astrology the most widely accepted religion of 2018, we present to you our sign season horoscopes. Every month we’ll spotlight the sign of the season and give you a preview of what their four-week long birthday celebration will look like. This month begins Gemini horoscope season. Another reason to waste time at work while reading about yourself? The greatest birthday gift of all.

Have you felt different this week? Like something is slightly off but you can’t quite tell what it is? Like maybe reality has shifted but it hasn’t ruined your life yet so you’re just sitting in wait? Don’t worry, that’s normal. Welcome to Gemini season, betches.

Geminis might be the zodiac world’s favorite sign to shit on, but for the next month they are the queens of the castle. What does that mean for the rest of us civilians? That your life just became that much more extra. The events? Nonstop. The drinking? Excessive. The drama? Aggressive. Your bank account? Depleted. Peace and quiet? Cancelled until further notice.

While it may be fun to complain about their two-faced nature and general tendency to make everything 100% more complicated than it needs to be, the truth is that we all love a Gemini. The proverbial Gemini is a snake, a Twitter meme come to life, the reason we all tell our friends to not have sex in August.

Gemini season mood: looking for trouble and if I can not find it, I will create it

— ???????????????? ???????????????????????? (@cozycancer) May 21, 2018

But if we’re being honest, real life Geminis are our ride or dies. We love them, we trust them, and we know that both of their faces will always have our backs. So here’s to you, Gemini: May the next month be everything you dreamed of, and enough to help you endure the other 11 months of the year when we all ceaselessly drag you.

General Overview

The last few months have been a bit unsteady, Gemini. Not necessarily bad, just unsure. You’ve been handling it like a champ, taking the uncertainty and fitting it into your routine, but secretly you’ve always known that it was building to something. This month, all those changes and question marks in your life will finally amount to something, and it will be a turning point for you. No pressure here, but you’re going to have to make a decision.

You probably don’t like the sound of this, considering this is supposed to be a month of nonstop celebration, but don’t fret. Whatever change is coming your way doesn’t have to be life-ending. In fact, it may be all the more reason to celebrate. Start taking stock of your life: what makes you happy, what you could do without, and be ready for the moment that could make all the difference.


You’ve finally reached a point in your job where you feel comfortable. This is a big moment, but don’t let it make you complacent. It’s easy to see summer on the horizon and immediately kick back and turn on that “out of office” message, but it’s important that you don’t waste all the momentum that you accrued getting to this point. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break here and there, but don’t fall behind just because you feel like you can. This is no time to rest on your yannies laurels.

Love Life

Love is in the air, huh, Gemini? The weather is warm, the attractive people in your city are emerging from hibernation, and you’re ready to put yourself out there. Our advice: while dating around is all good and fun, don’t let it distract you from real connections you may be making. There’s no need to rush into a relationship, especially with summer on the horizon, but don’t close yourself off to the possibility of finding someone you really connect with. Casual dating doesn’t mean you need a roster—you can still make a summer of memories out of one great person.


After months of saving up, it is TIME. Go wild on a new summer wardrobe. Spring for that spontaneous trip you’ve been aching to take. Get yourself a new look to go with the new weather. However you want to treat yourself this month, do it. You spent all winter being frugal af just to make it to this moment. Don’t hold back.

What to Watch Out For

After being a major emotional support system in your friend group for so long, it can be hard to put yourself first, Gemini. You’re going to need to get past that, because there’s a lot of shit coming your way this month, and you’re going to need to lean on the people close to you to get through it. Your friends may not be accustomed to dropping everything to be there for someone, but they’re going to need to learn real quick. Watch out for anyone who refuses to reciprocate your constant support. One-sided relationships are for Postmates and pets, and nothing else.

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