In the LGBTQ community, there are always lots of important issues to be addressed. Equality and sexual health rightfully get a lot of the attention, but there’s something slightly less serious we need to talk about: should straight women be going to gay bars? Look, I get it–gay bars are fun. It can be tough to find spots with great music, a fun atmosphere for dancing, and a lack of dumb bros. I appreciate all of these factors, but there are some things straight women need to keep in mind when they’re planning a night out at a gay bar. Everyone deserves to get drunk and have a good time, but there are some ground rules you need to know.
If you learn nothing else from reading this, please just memorize this sentence. Do not go to a gay bar for your bachelorette party. Got it? Great! As much fun as it sounds to go dance to Britney Spears remixes with seven of your best girl friends, it’s obnoxious AF. If you’re in a group of straight women with zero gays, you should probably hang out somewhere else for the night. Not to get preachy, but gay bars exist because, historically, queer people couldn’t go to straight bars and be themselves. Luckily, we’ve come a long way since then, but gay bars are still safe havens for the queer community, so you shouldn’t be taking up half the dance floor.
Every straight girl walking into a gay bar:
That being said, I think women should be welcome at gay bars, and it’s ridiculous when bars try to institute men-only policies. Gender is dumb anyway, so get over it. If you’re a straight woman who is hanging out at a gay bar, though, remember that it’s not really your space. Drink, dance, have a good time–but don’t try to make yourself the center of attention. There’s no one here you’re trying to impress, so you don’t need to be twerking in the middle of the floor.
One of the best things you can do as a straight person at a gay bar is just give everyone their space. Realistically, you’re not going to find someone to hook up with, but that’s probably what a lot of people are looking for. If two guys are dancing with each other, it is not the time for you to jump in the middle. Just like if it was your girl friend and a dude at a straight bar, don’t be a cock-blocker. It’s just like, the rules of feminism (and gay rights). While you shouldn’t get in the way of your friend’s potential hookup, you also don’t need to try to find him someone all night. Gay bars are, like, the easiest place in the world to find a dance floor make out, so just chill out. I’m glad you think that guy over there is checking me out, but I can figure it out for myself.
Me when I see the guy my friend wants me to get with:
This might sound like a rant, but honestly, I love it when my straight friends come out with me to the gay bars. The LGBTQ community should be a place of openness and respect, and as long as you’re feeding into that respectful vibe, you should be welcome. It just falls into a grey area when “respect” turns into “let me grind on all these gay dudes because there won’t be any consequences.” Use your best judgment, and if you’re second-guessing whether something is okay, it probably isn’t.
That’s all, now someone please get me a vodka soda, extra lime.
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