If 2020 is remembered for one thing, it will be how TikTok truly blew up and finally became impossible to ignore (trust me, I tried). Okay, obviously some other important stuff happened this year, but for today’s purposes, let’s just focus on TikTok. While a lot of Gen-Z kids and ~content creators~ were already on the app before this year, the pandemic activated something inside the rest of us, and normal people and celebrities alike flooded onto TikTok like never before.
Some celebs are unexpectedly good at TikTok (Jason Derulo’s special effects are continually impressive), but many others have struggled to master the format. Each week for several months, I’ve been cataloging some of the most cringeworthy celebrity TikToks, and now that this bizarre year is drawing to a close, it’s time to look back on some of my (least) favorites of 2020.
@drphil##YouHaveTo stop calling me “daddy.” I ain’t ya daddy.♬ A Moment Apart – ODESZA – Hannah Stater (she/her)
I don’t want to be too negative here, so I’ll start by saying that at least Dr. Phil’s TikTok account isn’t boring. He’s out here doing the most, giving psychology tips, chugging cranberry juice, and dancing in a Grandpa Joe costume. I don’t particularly like any of it, but at least he’s trying. But this video of him imploring his followers to stop calling him “daddy” is straight-up bone chilling. Never has it EVER occurred to me to call him that, and it concerns me that enough people have for him to address the issue. Guys, PLEASE don’t.
@tyrabanks##Boo 🎃♬ original sound – Tyra Banks
Tyra had kind of a random resurgence in popularity this year, as people spent their quarantine reliving all the wild old seasons of America’s Next Top Model, and she landed a new gig hosting Dancing With The Stars. Her hosting work on TV has always had a slight unhinged energy to it, and her presence on TikTok is really no different. This TikTok—one of several she filmed in a row, judging from the repeated outfit—features her acting like she’s in some kind of horror movie, and screaming random words in her sentences. Okay, now I actually think a Tyra Banks horror movie could be kind of amazing.
@foodgod♬ original sound – foodgod
If you follow my weekly list, you’ll know that Foodgod brought a lot of cringe this year, but most of his videos are of him shoveling nasty food into his mouth like a hungry animal. Those are upsetting, but in the spirit of keeping things interesting, I’m highlighting this truly bizarre video of him riding off into the sky on a stationary bike. As he calls into the distance “FG phone home,” I can’t help but ask myself, what the f*ck is happening here? Where did this concept come from? Did he pay someone to edit this? I need ANSWERS.
@hannahg11just always thought about this, I know it sometimes takes a while to show but STILL that’s a lot of ppl ##keepingactive ##healthheroes ##thoughts♬ Confusion – Tik Toker
Many of the videos on this list have more of a visual cringe factor, but this one just makes me sad, and a little concerned. Bachelor alum Hannah Godwin has a question: if every single person in the world comes from a pregnant woman, why don’t we see more pregnant women walking around? She’s right that there are seven billion people on the earth, but she seems to miss the concept that those people have been born over the past like, 100 years. I know time isn’t real or whatever, but it’s not that complicated.
@kjapacFollow @adamisgreat14 💥 for a follow back ! ❤️Quick now ! ##fy ##riverdale♬ original sound – KJ Apa
I’ve never watched Riverdale, so I honestly have no real opinion of KJ Apa, but his content on TikTok gives off very strange vibes. For much of the year, he’s been quarantined up in Vancouver with his cast and crew, and things have gotten a little weird. In this video that I think about way too much, he dips his hair into a cup of tea, and then lets the tea drip onto his tongue. I don’t need to explain why this is gross, but it’s also just… not something that people do. Idk, I’m uncomfortable.
@barbara.corcoran@mcuban 👀 ##WIP♬ Lonely – Justin Bieber & benny blanco
Barbara Corcoran is easily my favorite investor on Shark Tank (I met her once, and she was lovely), but when it comes to her TikTok, I’m out. In this video, which is inexplicably set to Justin Bieber’s “Lonely”, she actually looks like a middle school boy wearing a too-big backpack. Something is off from the beginning, but when the imaginary POV in her Shark Tank scenario says they’re going with Mark’s offer, she makes a choking motion as if she’s being yanked off the screen, and the look in her eyes is low-key terrifying. Like, Barbara, are you okay?? Blink twice if you’re okay.
Congratulations, you’ve reached the “WAP” dance part of the list. This trend was fun at first, and some of the videos are super impressive, but unsurprisingly, famous people had to go and ruin it for everyone else. Addison Rae was one of the breakout TikTok stars of this year, and her rendition of the dance is like, flawless, but her mom Sheri really missed the mark. The original TikTok was deleted after Addison got mad about it, but thankfully it’s been preserved on YouTube.
@jackblackChallenge accepted♬ WAP（feat. Megan Thee Stallion） – Cardi B
I couldn’t limit myself to just one “WAP” video, and my other winner is Jack Black’s attempt. I hadn’t really thought about Jack Black in a while, but boy, is his TikTok a trip. I respect Jack Black’s right to do whatever he wants with his Speedo and garden hose, but maybe we don’t need to see the footage. And besides, the choreography clearly needs some more work.
@pilot_peteBarb the Savage♬ original sound – Byjamiemcintyre
Isn’t it wild that Peter’s season of The Bachelor was less than a year ago? His season ended on a low note, with back-to-back breakups with Hannah Ann and Madison, but ultimately he ended with his fourth runner-up, Kelley. I could have included one of Pilot Pete’s sappy videos dedicated to his and Kelley’s relationship, but if I’m honest with myself, the video of his that made me cringe the most was his thirsty AF mom Barb doing this twist on the “Savage” trend. I don’t like that this sound implies moms and wives *can’t* be savages, and Pete’s dad saying this to Barb feels icky. Barb, stick to what you do best: crying about how much you love Hannah Ann.
Images: Ovidiu Hrubaru / Shutterstock.com; drphil, tyrabanks, foodgod, hannahg11, kjapac, barbara.corcoran, jackblack, pilot_pete / TikTok; TOP5 / YouTube
It’s been a dramatic couple of days, but Jordyn-gate is far from over. Yesterday, I spent literally my entire day at work scrolling through Instagram laughing at all the Jordyn Woods memes, but she’s probably not laughing right now. Sources are saying that Jordyn is moving out of Kylie’s house and back in with her mom, which feels…correct. Jordyn has basically spent the last three years mooching off of Kylie, so it’s going to be a tough time now that she has to pay for her own sh*t. But the Kardashian family has never been into showing sympathy, so they’re wasting no time in beginning their public roasting of Jordyn Woods.
The first to strike was Kourtney Kardashian, who posted to her story yesterday morning. This post kind of got lost in the chaos that was Instagram yesterday, but it’s a pretty great use of shade by Kourt.
Okay, so first of all, I need this sweater. Normally, I would say this piece of clothing just fits Kourtney’s general annoyed demeanor, but her posting this amidst the drama with Jordyn just can’t be a coincidence. Basically, Kourt is saying that the Kardashians made Jordyn, and now she can kindly get the f*ck out. California’s a big state, but Jordyn Woods is not safe.
Kourtney’s post was a fun bit of shade, but Khloé Kardashian came in hot and heavy on Thursday morning with the public-shaming Instagram stories.
I mean…damn. I don’t know how close Jordyn and Khloé actually are/were, but this is ice cold, and I feel like we can all relate a little bit.
Okay girl! Yes, please take this as a sign and drop Tristan’s ass forever! I would say that Khloé dodged a bullet, but she’s already spent years with Tristan and had a child with him, so that’s probably a little generous. Either way, he’s obviously a horrible guy, and I hope Khloé never gives him another chance. Thank u, next.
Of all of these shady-ass subtweets, this one probably hits the hardest. Khloé is clearly in a dark place right now, and she has no problem saying that Jordyn is the one who f*cked her up. She closed out her Instagram story attack with one last cryptic image, which is probably an accurate representation of her mental state right now.
While I would probably advise Khloé to just log off of social media for a minute and take some deep breaths, she’s also went on Twitter to throw one more little bit of shade. By that, I mean that she like a tweet in which Jordyn is called “a terrible woman,” and Tristan is called “a sick man.” Honestly, this makes me happy, because I don’t think Tristan has been getting nearly enough hate in this whole situation.
It’s 2019, so I fully believe that Khloé Kardashian knows that we can all see which tweets she likes. Thus, we all know where Khloé’s head is at right now, and she knows it too. Even if all of this turns out to be some insane publicity stunt, Khloé is playing to win, and it seems like she’s going to come out on top. Meanwhile, Jordyn is sleeping in her mom’s guest room and Tristan is on a one-way flight back to Cleveland right now. Sad!
On a semi-related note, Jonathan Cheban AKA Foodgod, our least favorite Kardashian-adjacent scum, was completely in his own world yesterday. He reposted a video on his story of a prayer candle with his face on it, and the post had Jordyn Woods tagged in it.
Jesus Christ Jonathan, read a f*cking room for once in your life. I’m hoping Kim put him in timeout for at least an hour for reposting this, because it definitely doesn’t go with the family message of icing Jordyn out completely. Am I surprised by Jonathan Cheban doing something completely self-serving and tone-deaf? No! I! Am! Not! What a clown.
As always, we will be closely monitoring this story for additional updates/shady Instagram stories, because this is my Super Bowl. Right now, I’m sending positive thoughts to Khloé Kardashian, because I’m starting to be worried that she might murder Jordyn and/or Tristan. This is so fun!
Images: Shutterstock; @kourtneykardash, @khloekardashian (4), @foodgod / Instagram; @khloekardashian / Twitter
We’re only one week into 2018, but we’ve already found what might be our favorite/least favorite thing of the year. It involves Jonathan Cheban eating pizza, and we’re dying.
Jonathan, who’s previously best known for being Kim Kardashian’s closeted sidekick, has decided that he’s going to be called “foodgod” from now on. It’s probably the most unqualified a person’s ever been for a job since I filed a few documents at my dad’s office for $20 one time and proceeded to put “legal assistant” on my resume. Someone at the New York Post
is getting paid to indulge Jonathan’s every whim also believes in this new persona for Jonathan, so Page Six followed him to a pizza place called Krave It in Queens, where he spent some time harassing customers and acting like a fool.
Jonathan doesn’t seem to have any real ties to food other than that he loves to eat it, and if that’s all it takes to make you a god, you can call me the Cheese, Wine, Tequila, and Pizza Rolls God. There’s nothing worse than that friend who acts like they’re a world-renowned food critic because they like to take shitty pictures of their brunch. Like, sit down Becky, you’re not Padma Lakshmi.
Before we get into the plot of the video—if you can call it that—we need to discuss the production first. The footage of Jon eating the various pizzas is frequently interrupted by these weird interludes of cheesy metal music with a guy whispering “Food God” laid over it that Jonathan definitely scored himself. It’s like he typed “cool guy music instrumentals” into Google and chose the first track that came up. Also, he definitely uses Comic Sans in his captions. Somebody needs to tell Jonathan this isn’t 2003.
Jon tries his hand at twirling pizza dough, which he’s fucking horrible at, and he shows off his diamond pizza slice necklace, which we probably could have paid our rent for the next three months with. He also goes around the restaurant asking a bunch of confused diners if they know who he is, and the results are, um, mixed. Two girls recognize him right away, but the rest of the people are literally like, “get the fuck away from me.”
Here’s an actual moment from this video. Jonathan stops mid-bite of his pizza to accost two poor girls who are just trying to eat. “I was on a very big television show for 10 years,” he says to them as if Keeping Up With The Kardashians were his own show, “but now I’m the foodgod and all I do is eat, 365 days a year.” Yeah, Jonathan, so do most people who are not starving.
We can’t say we love “foodgod,” but honestly if Jonathan keeps making an ass of himself we will continue to watch. Okay, now I want pizza.
Watch the whole video below, if you can make it through the whole thing.