Of all the modern technology that improves our lives on a daily basis, I think my favorite category of invention is the food delivery app. Services like Postmates, Uber Eats, and Seamless combine all of my favorite activities: food, being lazy, and spending too much time on my phone. Other than the fact that the delivery fees drain my bank account, what’s not to love? While having unlimited funds for my Postmates habit is basically my dream, it’s a reality for some of our favorite celebrities. Who has the craziest Postmates orders? Let’s find out.
Postmates has a series called “The Receipt,” where they profile a famous person and their ordering habits. The latest subject is Cara Delevingne, who is an icon of thick eyebrows, and also apparently of ordering food. She placed her first Postmates order on Halloween in 2014 (for a bottle of Jack Daniels), and since then she’s spent more than $25,000 on the app.
Among Cara’s top ten spots to order from are Taco Bell, Domino’s and…Sephora? Interesting choice, considering makeup companies probably send her free sh*t left and right, but I guess even supermodels have to buy their own Fenty Beauty products. Just to prove that she’s rich, she also had AirPods delivered last week. Props to Cara for figuring out a way to avoid spending seven hours at the Apple Store. The most expensive thing she’s ever ordered was a $326 vacuum cleaner, which I hate to admit that I’m jealous of.
$25,000 obviously sounds like a lot of money, but if you do the math, that’s like $15 a day since October 2014. I feel confident that Cara can afford that, and I’m seriously tempted to commit to that lifestyle myself. Am I going to end up with a mountain of debt? Maybe.
At the end of 2018, Postmates published an article about all of Kylie Jenner’s orders, and I really learned a lot. They revealed that Kylie spent $10,000 on deliveries last year, which sounds like a lot, but isn’t all that shocking, given that $10,000 probably means to her what $100 means to me, and that I’ve spent way more than $100 on Postmates in the past year. Kylie’s most-ordered item was a cream cheese bagel, because apparently carbs and dairy have no affect on her. I’m not jealous.
My favorite stat about Kylie’s ordering is that she once ordered four times within 10 minutes:
2:07 PM, 6-pack macaron ice cream sandwiches from Milk
2:11 PM, penne Bolognese from Mauro’s Café at Fred Segal
2:13 PM, taquitos, Mexican rice, enchiladas and a tostada salad from Casita del Campo
2:17 PM, truffle “Impossible Burger” from Umami Burger
I know she was getting food at the set of a photo shoot, but it still sounds ridiculous. Her Postmates total will probably be a lot lower this year, considering that she’ll no longer be ordering food for Jordyn Woods all the time.
Postmates also did a post about John Legend’s ordering habits, but I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t tell us how much he’s spent overall. It’s probably more than I make in a year, considering that he’s ordered over 600 times. He’s also ordered in 27 different cities, as opposed to Kylie Jenner, who barely leaves her mansion in Calabasas. I now know for sure that John is the man of my dreams, because he once ordered $700 of sushi from Nobu. Why isn’t this my life?
It looks like Chrissy Teigen and John Legend actually share an account, so some of the more bizarre orders on the account are definitely from Chrissy. For example, she once accidentally ordered 25 bottles of A1 steak sauce, so that’s relatable. Honestly, I might move to LA and become a Postmates driver just so I have a chance of meeting Chrissy Teigen.
apparently if u put in "5" under quantity on Postmates AND say "5 bottles!" in the description, they…get you 25. I thought FIVE was a lot pic.twitter.com/ASW44SBQOH
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 22, 2017
Say what you will about Post Malone, but he’s definitely way richer than all of us. Back in October, TMZ reported that Post had spent over $40,000 on Postmates in the past year, which is…truly wild. I’ve always suspected Post Malone and I had something and common, and I finally figured it out: most of his delivery orders were from fast food restaurants like Popeyes, KFC, and Burger King. On one occasion, he specifically asked Chick-Fil-A to send “the largest nugget tray they had.” A man after my own heart, truly. After all that drunk food, Post Malone also used Postmates to prepare for the ensuing hangover, once ordering three bottles of grape Pedialyte. Respect.
Post Malone, and also me:
So the moral of the story is that all of these celebrities are rich and can order whatever the f*ck they want on Postmates. Must be nice. My initial plan was to totally roast Post Malone and co. for their ordering habits, but I would definitely do the same thing if I had that kind of money. But also, who am I kidding, I’ve ordered food three times in the last week. RIP my bank account, it’s been real.
Images: Giphy (2); @chrissyteigen / Twitter