Scott Disick Is Coming For Chip & Joanna Gaines’ Empire

It’s been a very busy month for the Kardashian Krew (I say as if Kris Jenner doesn’t make damn well sure it wouldn’t be any other way). But while we were all out here paying attention to Kanye’s Sunday service or Kim becoming the next Elle Woods or even Khloe’s latest photo edit abomination, we missed a very big moment for another member of the fam: Scott Disick. I’ll be honest, I haven’t been paying much attention to The Lord lately. It’s like ever since he adopted Sofia Richie as an honorary fourth Disick child, he’s been re-focusing his priorities. Now he’s more of a family man, and less of a drunken f*ckup shoving $100 bills down innocent waiters’ throats. Boooooo. But we’re about to see a lot more from our boy Scottie because, this just in, he has a new real estate reality show coming to E! called Flip it Like Disick. Hold on to your empire, Chip and Joanna, you’ve got some real competition now!

According to E! News, the show is like Fixer Upper but for the stars, and it will showcase Scott Disick’s “passion for luxury real estate and house flipping.” That’s right, the man who once said “I’m a big star, I don’t need to be dealing with you peasants” is essentially going to take on the role of the help and fix up his famous friends’ houses. K.

And for those of you who thought Scott Disick’s talents were more in the realm of riding on the coattails of his ex-girlfriend’s fame and drinking on private planes than flipping houses, then you’re not wrong shame on you! Apparently The Lord has been dabbling in property development for years. And let’s not forget his brief stint as a handy man on KUWTK after Kourtney asked for more romance in their sex life, so Scott pretended to be Noah from The Notebook and almost destroyed the roof of her house.

Do we think they’ll include this scene in the series trailer?

But of course, Scott won’t be taking on this new business venture alone. He’s assembled a crack team to help him flip the homes of Kris’s least favorite famous friends. In addition to a man who refers to himself as the second coming of Jesus Christ Scott, the Flip It Like Disick team will also consist of Scott’s BFF Benny Luciano, contractor Miki Moor, veteran assistant Lindsay Diamond, and former pop singer-turned-interior designer Willa Ford. I’m going to save you all the Google search and let you know that none of these people are of any importance, save for Willa Ford, whose iconic song “I Wanna Be Bad” was featured in the Amanda Bynes classic What A Girl Wants, and was also the song 10-year-old me sang in the shower every damn day, much to my mother’s growing horror. This is the comeback we need in 2019. Just saying.

Not only will Scott and his team be taking on celebrity projects, but I’m told they’ll also be taking on the highly classified and v intense job of re-decorating his children’s playhouse! Tbh I love where he sets his bar. I mean, why make the stakes high for your first job when you can make the stakes somewhere around just being judged by children—and ones who are genetically obligated to praise you no less! I applaud your shamelessness, Scott. Bravo. 

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All the way up with my little reign

A post shared by Scott Disick (@letthelordbewithyou) on

While, on the one hand, I’m happy Scott will finally be getting out of the Kardashian-Jenner shadow, this sudden career move does make me wonder if Scott and Kourtney have somehow fallen on hard times? Do we think, like, they actually need the money from this show or something? I, mean, Kourt only makes a casual $35 million a year, and Scott makes whatever ends up in the tip jar after his club promotions. And we all know Poosh was a real Hail Mary for her to begin with! Scott, Kourt, anything you want to tell us??

All jokes aside, I’m thrilled we’ll be seeing more from the Lord Scott Disick. The memes I’ve been sending in my group chat were getting a little bit stale anyways. Flip It Like Disick will premiere sometime this summer, and will consist of 8 hour-long episodes, so feel free to mark your calendars, like, right f*cking now.

Images: Giphy (2); @letthelordbewithyou / Instagram

7 Facts That Will Ruin Your Favorite HGTV Shows

Is there anything better than laying on the couch with a bottle of wine and screaming at a couple who’s trying to decide between a shanty within walking distance of the city or a chicken farm 18 miles away for their family of six on House Hunters? Or laughing at how ADORABLE Chip and Joanna are? How about begrudgingly turning on Love It Or List It and mentally drop-kicking the idiot people that literally always stay in their stupid houses? No, there is nothing better. HGTV is in a golden age, but there are dark, dirty, and weird secrets hiding behind the shiplap exterior. Here are some things you never knew about HGTV.

1. They’ve Usually Already Bought The House

I AM SHOOK. This goes for House Hunters and Fixer Upper (probably a few others, too). Because filming is on a very short timeline, in order to qualify for many of HGTV’s shows, participants need to have already gotten through much of the buying process—with some even close to closing. This news broke in 2012, so it shouldn’t be a huge shock to any of you, but it definitely explains some of the super scripted-sounding exchanges between couples on the shows.

2. Participants On ‘House Hunters’ Get Paid

Yo, sign me up. In addition to being on HGTV, participants on House Hunters get paid $500 for about one week of filming and those on House Hunters International get about $1,500. According to Business Insider, the payment acts as an incentive for embarrassing yourself on national television (I paraphrase). There can also be cool sh*t like lunches with the director and some light pampering, too.

3. Hilary Farr Is An Actress

LOL YIKES. According to BuzzFeed, Hilary Farr, of Love It Or List It, used her birth name, Hilary LaBow, and appeared in The Rocky Horror Picture Show as Betty Munroe. The casting must have translated to real life, too, since the majority of Farr’s fashion choices are about as terrifying as the costuming in that film.

4. Jonathan Scott Isn’t The Contractor

I f*cking knew it. Apparently, Jonathan will do a few things here and there, but the majority of any heavy lifting during the construction portion of Property Brothers is done by a real construction crew so that Jonathan doesn’t get his plaid shirts dirty risk losing a hand. According to this article, “The heavy lifting is done by the show’s less telegenic construction crew, but he’ll wear his tool belt and plaid shirt in solidarity.”

5. The Beginning Of ‘Fixer Upper’ Is Fake

Like House Hunters, many of the participants on Fixer Upper have already bought a house when the beginning of the show is filmed. Meaning that the couple, Joanna, and Chip are literally all lying to our faces for the first 15 minutes when they pretend to be interested in shack option 1, old haunted Victorian mansion option 2, and murder house-turned-chicken-farm option 3. HOW COULD YOU?!

6. ‘Fixer Upper’ Participants Don’t Get To Keep The Furniture

This is v rude. Apparently, Joanna just stages all those nice little rustic-chic houses and the participants have the option of BUYING the furniture she uses. That may explain why I’ve seen the same couch three to six times in several different homes and also why there are no TVs in 75% of the reveals.

7. No One Keeps The HGTV Dream Homes

HGTV has been doing the whole Dream Home contest since 1997, which usually comes with cash, a car, and this baller party pad. Sounds amaze. However, even though the house is free, taxes aren’t, and people end up paying tens of thousands of dollars per year on these things if they keep them. Many choose not to, though, and according to Cosmo, taxes are the cause of many people that win the HGTV dream homes not keeping them. Almost every winner has sold the home immediately—which, bummer.

Images: Giphy (5)

Our Favorite Reality TV Couple Are Having Another Baby

Is it legal to name a baby “Shiplap”? We might find out as Chip and Joanna Gaines of HGTV Fixer Upper fame announced they’re expecting their fifth kid via Instagram on Tuesday.

The couple broke everyone’s heart last year when they told the world they weren’t going to continue their show. They said it was so they could spend more time with their family. Now we know they probably wanted to spend more time expanding their family. *Bow chicka wah wah*

They couple already has four kids, two boys and two girls. But they’re growing their Waco empire every day (literally), so I guess adding another Gaines to the mix fits into that plan of slowly taking over the Texas town.

Sure, we’re kinda PO’d that we won’t get to see more garbage homes become farmhouse chic Air B&Bs, but I guess we’re happy for Chip and Jo.