Food—the cause and solution to all my work dilemmas. Keeping snacks on hand (i.e. stuffed into my mini fridge and filing cabinet) ensures that I’m less likely to hunt for free doughnuts or cookies once 2pm rolls around. Also, stashing them away allows me to snack in secret, leaving my coworkers wondering how I got so pretty and skinny when they never see me eat. You, too, can experience the excellence that comes with snacking without regret (and without being hungry in two hours). These are my favorite snacks that keep you full, but without making you feel bloated, tired, or all-around shitty afterwards. Time to head to your local grocery store and stock up.
1. Greek Yogurt With Berries
You’re really out of touch if you aren’t already singing the praises of Greek yogurt. When the 2pm hangries hit, go ahead and reach for a serving of Greek yogurt topped with blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, or some combo. The protein and calcium from the yogurt will keep you full while the berries provide antioxidants for your glowing complexion.
2. Hummus And Carrots
Duh. Keeping hummus and celery or carrots in your work mini fridge makes you seem fit and betchy. Hummus has lots of protein, and carrots have very few calories but lots of vitamins. It’s a solid mix of protein and fiber—perfect for keeping your fingers out of the free doughnut box.
3. Roasted Edamame
Eating this in the office may make you look kinda weird, but the full feeling and health benefits are totes worth it. According to Reader’s Digest (because I’m an 85-year-old man who loves puzzles and this shitty magazine), edamame contains calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, folate, vitamins C, E, and B6, plus a lot more shit that I don’t feel like typing. Plus, ¼ cup is only about 130 calories, 8 grams of fiber, and 14 grams of protein—all of which will keep you full until you can order Domino’s.
Wasabi! BBQ! Soy sauce! Cinnamon! Your almonds don’t have to be shitty and boring—you can either flavor them yourself or grab a small serving pack of them literally anywhere. They’re nutritionally dense and will keep you hella full while you put off doing that spreadsheet for the fourth time.
5. Roasted Chickpeas
Are you too good for hummus? If so, try roasting your chickpeas instead of blending them into the betch food pyramid cornerstone we all know and love. They’re crunchy, you can flavor them however you choose, and about ¼ cup of them is only about 120 calories. You can also grab them from places like Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s where someone has already lovingly roasted them for you.
I don’t care what you say, jerky is a fantastic food to keep in your desk when you’re hungry and sad. There’s quite a bit of protein to be had, and if you buy a good and bougie variety, there may be very little in the way of artificial flavors, additives, etc.
7. Hard-Boiled Eggs
Nothing says “I’m hopeless, but at least I’m fit” like shoving a hard-boiled egg into your mouth around 2:15pm on a Tuesday, LOL AMIRITE. But seriously, eggs are a great source of protein and are only about 90 calories each. So either eat a whole hard-boiled egg, or chop it up and put it on a piece of whole wheat toast for a more normal (and satisfying) midday snack that won’t result in hunger an hour later.
8. Dark Chocolate
Thank you, God! Three squares of dark chocolate (or even five or six dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses) can help regulate your stress hormones, which, honestly, are probs part of why you’re hungry anyway. Plus, dark chocolate has antioxidants and usually lower sugar than the more common milk variety.
Again, if you really want to just weird out your coworkers (sign me up), dive into a jar of pickles every day at the exact same time. They only have 16 calories per cup, which means you can def eat the whole jar or play “how many can I fit in my mouth” with three to six of them at a time. Since pickles are (spoiler alert) just cucumbers soaked in vinegar, the water content will keep you full and stop your salt cravings.
Images: Anastasia Zhenina, Unsplash; Giphy (8)