Last weekend The Betches took over Electric Zoo on Randall’s Island. Perhaps you saw us on their Instagram story or just generally
balling hanging out? IDK. Regardless, we’re here for our usual post-event recap. Here’s the best, the worst, and everything you missed. BTW, EZoo is returning for their 10th anniversary next year (fuck, I’m old), so start planning now so you don’t miss out again.
The Music. Fucking duh. There were so many amazing acts, so brace yourself. We randomly wandered over to Slander and it was lit. Ok you know what I’m not going to sit here and be like “this person was great. That person was amazing” because there aren’t that many adjectives in the English language. So here’s our non-complete list of favorites: Ookay, Armin Van Buuren, Ghastly, Rezz, NGHTMRE, Jauz, Yellowclaw, Galantis, Seven Lions, Snails, Alan Walker, Above & Beyond, Slushii…okay I realize I’m basically listing the entire lineup. Whoops. Obviously you go to festivals for the lineup, and EZoo’s lineup never disappoints. There’s always so much going on, and something for everybody. Or at least, that’s what I’m told. I don’t really have that varied of music taste. Persecute me.
The Stages: The stages this year were really awesome. There was the Bollywood themed Elrow stage, the main stage looked like a giant elephant surrounded by a mini NYC skyline, one of the tents was decorated like the subway which gave me PTSD-like flashbacks to my morning commute delays but was overall cool. Once again, EZoo did a great job of making you feel like you were on a remote location in the woods somewhere even when you were in the middle of a city and could see the Costco on 117th street from the media tent.
The Food: I ate a total of one (1) meal at EZoo, which is more than I usually eat at these things #FestivalDiet. I had a sushi burrito, and it was good. No complaints. The line wasn’t long, it wasn’t absurdly expensive, it was solid. Did I love the cashless system? No. What’s the point of waiting on a line to put money on my wristband with my credit card when I could just use my credit card? I don’t know. But at least this year they didn’t have that ridiculous EZ Bucks conversion system. Me last year trying to figure out how much money shit actually cost in real money:
The Lounges: It’s always nice to be able to retreat to somewhere a little more private that serves hard alcohol, and the China Town and Little Italy sections were just that. It was a nice reprieve, and the New York tie-in was cute.
The Crowd: Every year I tell people I’m going to EZoo somebody inevitably asks, “Ew, isn’t that for 16-year-olds?” And the answer is no. Overall the crowd is a little bit older since you at least have to be a legal adult to attend, and overall everyone is more chill. There’s not very much pushing to get to the front even though it’s the headlining set and we’re all packed in like sardines and if you wanted to be upfront at Kendrick, you should’ve gotten here three hours ago like the rest of us, TREVOR. There’s a lot less of me questioning my own life choices and wondering if I’m getting too old for this (answer: never). Everyone we met was friendly and cool and hopefully it stays that way.
…Nothing tbh. “Worst” is a strong word. Honestly aside from having a personal vendetta against “cashless” systems, the one gripe we had was security. It was all just very confusing. The first day they took away my empty stainless steel water bottle, and that was v personally upsetting. The next day, they let my brother keep his (those bitches). They also took my friend’s empty clear plastic water bottle. That was annoying. But like, I get it. They’re just trying to make it safe. But still, I want my water bottle back.
You’ll notice I didn’t have many complaints about EZoo, and my mom and my last boyfriend will tell you that’s fucking saying something. We really had no ragrets this year. Sorry if you have FOMO now but at least there’s always next year—and you know they’re going to pull out all the stops for the 10th anniversary.