Father’s Day Gifts Dads Will Actually Use

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

Let’s get right to it: Father’s Day is coming up, and we know you need ideas for gifts. Sure, we don’t know that for fact, since we don’t know know you and all, but we can guess you aren’t necessarily living and breathing the same shit your dad is living and breathing. That’s right, your 65-year-old dad isn’t going to have the same batshit crazy reaction you might have to that Milk Bar cake you see all over your basic friends’ Instagrams. So, it’s on you to do some research and get something he might actually get excited about. But not to fret—we’ve got those young and hip dads covered in this list, too. We know they’re mourning their youth, so the least you can do is get those new dads something cool for Father’s Day.

Buy $16.95
prices as of time of posting

Scentbird is a subscription that sends new designer/niche fragrances directly to your doorstep each month. We know men love their Old Spice, etc., but this is a great way to force get them to step it up a notch.

Dads love gadgets. And being stressed. Enter: the Apollo Neuro Device. Developed by neuroscientists and physicians, the Apollo device offers silent, soothing vibrations that speak to your dad’s nervous system, telling him he’s safe and in control, meaning it can help him fall asleep, relieve anxiety, etc.

Buy $95
price as of time of posting

The reparative moisturizer with Peptide-Rich Plasma® is an all-in-one, highly active moisturizing treatment that hydrates and repairs damaged, aging (sorry!) skin. We love a luxurious moisturizing moment, and so will your dad or husband… once you convince him to use it. And if he doesn’t, more for you.

Buy $95
price as of time of posting

This is a minimalist, RFID-blocking wallet. The main cardholder uses elastic to expand to hold up to 12 IDs and credit cards. It literally screams “Hi, I was made for dads”.

Men—especially dads—always seem to be uncomfortable and hot (and complaining about it). The Tempur-Pedic Cooling Pillow is iconic because it can solve both of those problems (and you can still keep the thermostat where it’s at). You’re welcome.

Buy $65
price as of time of posting

This is the nice guy of gifts, because you kind of can’t go wrong with monogrammed packing cubes. They’re even made sustainably from 16 recycled plastic water bottles. It’s a win-win, and if your dad or husband is always the one who’s trying to wake everybody up at 6am on vacation, he’ll appreciate the organization of this gift.

Buy $35
price as of time of posting

I mean, let the tee speak for itself. Show off that your dad or hubs is the coolest dad around town in the Cool Dad 2022 Tee. If you’re a baby mama reading this, get yourself the Cool Mom 2022 Tee to match.

Buy $150
price as of time of posting

You can’t go wrong with a staple sweater, especially one that’s this soft. This specific Cashmere Crewneck is reversible and features a hand-sewn fashion tag, with a contrast seamless stitch. 

This is for the like, really cool dads (they exist too these days). This is a premium vintage trucker hat with Homme Femme Basketball embroidered on the front. If the dad in your life doesn’t appreciate fashion, this probs isn’t for him. But the guys that get it, get it…you know the rest.

Buy $195
price as of time of posting

The movement to make dad sneakers cool again starts here! These Pangaia sneakers are made by repurposing discarded grape skins, stalks and seeds into lightweight grape leather. The sole is made from 86% natural rubber created from industrial waste including unused prototypes and products. They come in a bunch of different colors to choose from, too.

You knew there’d be a watch on this list, and here is our pick. It’s a gold stainless steel mesh bracelet watch that’s a great option if you want to go all out this Father’s Day, but not ridiculously all-out. You know?

Buy $89.95
price as of time of posting

We love a kit, because it requires minimum thinking on our end. This shave kit from Walker & Co. includes the Bevel Safety Razor, Shave Brush, Pre-Shave Oil, Shave Cream, Post-Shave Balm, and 40 Blades. Fancy shit! 

Images: biova-nakou / pexels

A Guide To Buying Booze As A Gift So You Don’t Look Cheap

Shopping for Father’s Day is stupidly difficult. If you’re wanting to skip the “fun” mugs, ties, and yard tools, wtf else is it that a dad wants?! Like us, most dads love booze. Whether they like to get weird with tequila or are happy cracking open a craft beer, most dads just want to be left the fuck alone to drink and grill with some goddamn peace and quiet. I can respect that.

So, this Father’s Day, don’t fuck up by getting a chocolate hammer and “No. 1 Dad” mug for the fourth year in a row. We’ve rounded up top contenders in all the booze categories to make this a bitchin’ (and drunk) Father’s Day.

1. Red Wine

If dear old dad is into a nice glass of red wine for sippin’ at dinner, look for something that goes with literally everything. We like 2014 Cultivate Pinot Noir—a blend of grapes from several California regions that goes really well with red meat AND chocolate. It has tasting notes of everything from ripe red fruits to a touch of black tea. Sounds manly. Plus, it’s about $27, so it counts as a legit gift.

2. White Wine

If for some reason dad is into white wine (maybe red wine gives him heartburn or makes him angry), reach for something that blends well with shit like grilled chicken, spice, and seafood. Grab a Sauvignon Blanc since it isn’t especially sweet AND it keeps dad away from basic bitch territory like Chardonnay (shudder). We like 2015 Hawkes Bay Sauvignon Blanc cause it’s got a bitchin’ blend of acid and sweet with hints of citrus. Make sure dad knows to chill his wine and serve it with something Asian-inspired—like food from that Japanese place he loves so fucking much. 

3. Bourbon

If dad is into bourbon, there are a few decent ones you need to be looking to buy. One is Bulleit Bourbon which, at 90 proof, is likely to give dad a hangover Father’s Day he’ll never forget. The good thing about this shit is that it’s smoother than most bourbons since it’s 2/3 corn and 1/3 rye. It has mild spice and a littttle sweetness, perfect for drinking straight or mixing into whatever dad needs.

4. Scotch

 .    Bushmills Red Bush

If daddy has an American Express Black Card and you get your pretentious betchiness from him, chances are he drinks Scotch. Bonus points if he does the flicky water thing and sips it in a Hannibal Lecter sort of way. Anyway, if you’re looking for a good but affordable Scotch for dear dad, try Chivas Regal 12 Year Old (Blended) or Bowmore Small Batch (Single Malt). Both are under $40 so you won’t break the bank, but they’re also recognized and awarded as super smooth with interesting flavor profiles. If you’re dad’s into Irish whiskey (I know it’s not the same as Scotch, fight me), get him a bottle of Bushmills Red Bush. It’s distilled in bourbon casks for a well-rounded yet versatile flavor profile.

5. Vodka

So if you’re Russian or something, dad probably likes his vodka. Is that profiling? Whatever. Anyway, if you’re ready to drop about $40 on good, organic vodka, try Purity Vodka. It’s made in Sweden or something and has a really clean taste with notes of vanilla and pepper not usually in vodka. Definitely a step up from Dubra and Smirnoff.

6. Gin

Is dad a psychopath who enjoys gin? Is this where you got your psycho tendencies from? Great! Picking a good gin is NOT as simple as grabbing a bottle of Bombay (stop). Look for something decent like The Botanist. It doesn’t taste quite as much like a cleaning solution and focuses on a niiiiice peppery kick. Plus it’s only like $40 so you can’t afford NOT to get it. Or if you want to trick Dad into thinking you spent a lot of money on his gift as penance for maxing out his credit card again or something (speaking for a friend), pick up some Sipsmith London Dry Gin. It’s made in London (and therefore automatically classy) and it has a dry finish with spicy notes of juniper and a hint of lemon tart. Dry, spicy, then tart—kind of like dad. Too corny? Sry.

7. Tequila

Are you looking to splurge? Tequila makes us crazy, so if you want to blow dad away for Father’s Day and try to make him forget that time you totaled his car, opt for the Avion Reserva 44, which clocks in about $150. It’s super rich, aged, and has a really unique taste. If all you’ve been drinking is Jose, you won’t know what planet this shit is from.

8. Craft Beer

If dad is a simple man who just wants to be left alone with a beer, give him the gift his heart desires (and then leave him tf alone). There are literally millions of craft beers out there, so head to Trader Joe’s, grab an empty six pack, and start putting together a tasting you think dad would like. Like, any asshole can grab a case of Sam Adams—it’ll just mean SO MUCH that you took the time to put that shit together. You’re such a great daughter.

Read: Everything You Need To Know About Rosé To Convince People You Know Shit About Wine