Ever since I got engaged nine months ago, I’ve noticed a strange trend. I mean besides the constant “It’s raining on my wedding day” nightmares that keep me up at night and the ever-present fear that by the time I’m hitched I’ll have less than $10 in my bank account. I’m talking about the constant messaging telling me I need to start “shredding” or “shedding for the wedding”. Every day I see a new article about pre-wedding juice cleanses and wedding diet plans, and I’ve pretty much had it. The idea that women need to hit a certain weight or look a certain way on their wedding day in order for it to be “the best day ever” is an outdated concept rooted in sexism. Here’s why I’m 100% OVER shedding for the wedding, and why you should be too.
It Feels Like Society’s Beauty Expectations Of Women, On Steroids
Women have been held to unrealistic beauty expectations since the beginning of time, but since getting engaged, I’ve found that this expectation of having the perfect body (whatever that means) is on a whole other level. Whenever my friends got engaged they would all say, “My wedding diet starts now”. They were literally getting engaged one day and counting calories the next. I didn’t quite understand their reaction, but now, I totally get it. I’m constantly inundated with wedding content about workout regiments, foods to avoid and skincare routines (apparently I’m months behind on this). It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re engaged, if you’re a human woman who goes online, you’re no stranger to the expectations society has for us. The only difference is that when you’ve got a ring on your finger, there’s an impending deadline to achieve the aforementioned perfect body, and it’s your wedding date.
It Feels Like A Prerequisite For Getting Married
Look, I understand wanting to look and feel your best on your wedding day, I know I do, but that means different things to different people. You may have a goal weight you’ve been trying to hit and the wedding day is a good motivator, or you may feel perfectly comfortable in your own body and not feel the need to do anything (more power to you). But whatever your situation is, losing weight shouldn’t feel like a prerequisite to getting married. Content about what you should and shouldn’t be eating before your wedding and articles that claim the hardest part of wedding planning is your fitness routine (has this person ever made a seating chart?) might make you question if something’s wrong with you if you’re not dieting or amping up your workout (myself included). If you find yourself thinking like that, try to block out all the social media noise and focus on doing what makes YOU feel like your best self. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe unfollow the #weddingworkout hashtag for a while. Don’t worry, you can still get a marriage license even if you’re not going to bridal boot camp.
Designers Are Becoming More Size-Inclusive
You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to drop weight in order to fit in a wedding dress. Cookie cutter dresses are a thing of the past, and bridal designers today are making wedding dresses for all body types and sizes, not just the stick-thin models who debut them on the runway. Supermodel Ashley Graham recently teamed up with Pronovias to launch her own size-inclusive collection, while Fame and Partners launched a capsule collection for the modern woman with David’s Bridal and new wedding dress company Floravere has gowns up to size 26, ensuring women of all sizes they’ll be able to find something that makes them feel like a million bucks. If you’re worried you’ll have to lose weight to find a gown that fits you, you can kick that fear to the curb, because it’s become much easier in recent years to find the perfect gown, no matter your body type.
Grooms Are Held To Different Standards
After being inundated with ideas of ways to change the way my body looks in time for my wedding, I asked my fiancé if he noticed anything similar. He hadn’t. I can’t say I’m surprised that there’s not this insane pressure on men to look a certain way for their wedding day, but it was disappointing to hear nonetheless. I wanted to see if there was any content out there aimed at the groom’s physical appearance on the wedding day. Come to find out, there is, but it’s scarce. I found a list of things grooms should do leading up to the wedding, and the only appearance-related tip was for them to get a haircut. And on their 12-month checklist? Apparently all they need to do is whiten their teeth. No gyms advertising groom boot camp or weight loss tips for men before they go tux shopping. Sure, not all men care as much about their appearance as Tom Sandoval, but why are only the brides being told they need to shed for the wedding in order to “look our best”? I’m exhausted just thinking about all of the things I’m supposed to be doing to my body to get it “wedding ready”, meanwhile my fiancé’s downing fried chicken and playing video games not worrying about what the f*ck he’ll look like six months from now. Ugh, to be a man.
It’s Time To End The Madness
Look, I’m not saying that dieting and exercising before your wedding day is a negative thing, but I’m tired of reading articles that imply feeling your best on your wedding day means you have to be working out and dieting beforehand. Shouldn’t you feel your best on your wedding day because you’re marrying the love of your life? Or because you’re about to attend the best party of all time? Why is weight loss so intrinsically tied to how we feel about ourselves, and why is that link only reserved for women? Your physical appearance might be a part of your wedding day journey, but it shouldn’t hijack what the day is really all about. So, let’s shatter the notion that those surface-level things are in any way the key to having a happy and joyful wedding day. It’s time to say f*ck it and halt to a stop on our never-ending journey towards unattainable beauty standards. The best way to get “wedding day ready” is to be 100% you.
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Images: Jason Briscoe / Unsplash
Fall weddings are very popular, and with good reason. Call me basic, but I f*cking love fall, and if one day some brave man does decide to marry me, you can bet your bottom dollar we’ll be having a fall wedding. Fall is the most ideal time of year for a wedding because of the crisp, cool temperatures and prime weather conditions. It’s not as cold as winter, where you have to take into account whether the possible risk of frostbite is worth ~slaying~ in your mini dress. And, at the same time, it’s not aggressively hot like summer where you have to hold your boobs on the dance floor in fear of sweating off your sticky bra! Yes, I’ve clearly found myself in the aforementioned scenario more than once.
Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to be invited to a fall wedding, then you need to make sure you’re dressed both seasonally- and event-appropriate. First things first, when it comes to dressing for any wedding, you need to take into account the level of formality along with the theme and overall “vibe.” From there, you take into account the actual season. So, since we’re honing in on fall right now, you want to dress in similar defining characteristics of the season, such as deep cool colors, rich burnt tones, dusty muted neutrals, and dense fabrics. This also means you can embrace fall patterns like fall florals, plaids, and herringbone prints. Of course, your dress doesn’t need to adhere to all of these guidelines (and probably shouldn’t because you would look crazy), but it should at least touch on a few in order to be considered seasonally appropriate. Here are my top picks for what to wear as a guest to a wedding this fall.
1. ASOS DESIGN Shirred Pleated Midi Dress, $60
The dusty rose color of this dress is the perfect hue of a feminine pink that’s still rich enough for fall. Not only is the color perfect for the occasion, the three-quarter sleeves plus midi length give it an extra touch of fall-appropriate vibes. I’m obsessed with the pleats and slight balloon sleeve which overall elevate the dress overall and add interesting detail. Interesting detail like the one my weirdo cousin failed to include on the wedding invite to let me know that it was going to be a cash bar. Uh, I don’t have extra funds to splurge on celebrating YOUR love, thanks.
2. Love Like You Burgundy Slip Mini Dress, $98
A slip dress in a burgundy jewel tone is a great option to wear to a fall wedding. Although it’s not exactly going to keep you warm, it still works for a fall wedding because the color is rich and the fabric is dressy. You could also easily just throw on a cute tailored jacket or oversized blazer to wear over the dress into the actual wedding. That way, you won’t feel immediately compelled to head to the bar post-ceremony to get an alcohol blanket going.
3. Lovers + Friends Lazo Midi Dress, $173
This dress is totally fall-appropriate with its burnt orange hue and midi-length silhouette. It’s elevated without being over the top, and has a few essential fall characteristics that make it seasonally appropriate. It’s also a bold enough color to garner a little extra attention for when you’re attending a wedding solo as the most single person there.
4. Privacy Please Jasmyn Mini Dress, $120
This gorgeous nude color dress is a dream combo of boho and classy, while also still somehow girly and cool. The tulle sleeves and bottom hem allow it to be a fall-appropriate dress while also still remaining somewhat breathable. It’s very fashionable without being too try-hard, cause we all know that’s NEVER the look.
5. Last Forever Navy Blue One-Shoulder Maxi Dress, $58
This navy maxi dress is ideal for a fall black-tie wedding. This dress is elevated, stylish, and unbelievably affordable. I’m not sure what more you could ask for besides like, maybe a hot plus-one as your date? Oh, and definitely an open bar.
As I mentioned, it’s important to first understand the dressiness level and theme of the wedding before selecting your dress. It might be weird to wear the one-shoulder maxi above to a casual wedding, so just do your homework. And by “do your homework” I mean just actually take a second to read the invitation, k?
Images: Omid Armin / Unsplash; ASOS; South Moon Under; Revolve (2); Lulus
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It’s officially September which means all the basic fall shit is upon us. And sure, it’s not technically fall until the 20th but tell that to Starbucks and this perfect weather. It’s fucking fall. And while there’s plenty of basic autumn, pumpkin-themed shit to go around, there’s nothing on this earth more basic than all the fall weddings you’re about to being going to. The colors, the brides themselves, the fucking leaves everywhere. It never ends. So to get you ready for fall wedding season, we’re telling you what each fall wedding trend says about you (or your friends so you can judge the shit out of their basic af wedding).
1. S’more Station
If you’re a s’more bride, you’re a pretty standard betch. You’re not overly cool but not too extra. In fact, you probably find yourself in the middle of the pack a lot. Not the prettiest of your squad, but not the DUFF either. Not the most successful person at work, but not a total loser. You’re exceptionally average at everything. After you’re married a few years, you’ll move to the suburbs and start popping out kids. Lucky for you, being the middle friend usually means you’re everyone’s favorite so you’ll still be able to have somewhat of a social life.
Oh look. The hipster bride. You know we had to fit you in here somewhere. You probably chose the fall to get hitched because of the warm aura of the colors and the good energy it will give your marriage. You quickly realized that despite the good vibes, fall brings a lot of basic options, which your fellow hipster friends would turn their beanie’d heads at. Enter sunflowers. They’re an autumn-y color but people don’t automatically think fall because sun equals summer. Fucking duh. When you’re not busy brewing your own kombucha, you work for a nonprofit and will eventually have one kid and name it something stupid and they get made fun of at school. Way to go.
3. Caramel Apples
If this is you, you’re weird af. Sorry. Someone had to tell you. Like the hipster bride, you’re trying hard not to be basic, but instead of pretty sunflowers, you picked something bizarre that no one likes. Eat a messy, sticky apple on a stick while trying to go home with the best man keep your lipstick and full face of contour intact? No fucking thanks. Once you get back from your honeymoon hiking the Grand Canyon, you’ll buy a tiny house and compost and other weird shit.
4. Pompoms From Your Alma Mater
Back in the day, you were def the BSCB of your group. Tbh, everyone at your wedding is surprised you’re getting married at all because in college the idea of one dick for the rest of your life would have sent you into depression-induced coma. You decided on pompoms because it’s your last-ditch effort to hold on to your happier, drunker college days. Same tho. You have a career in sales now because you can still get wasted all the time and make a lot of money. You and your husband are total bros and in a few years will be all your middle-aged friends’ favorite couple to host Bunco because they always get shitty when they’re at your place.
5. Pumpkin Spice Latte Bar
You’re as basic of a betch as they come. In college you were the pledge educator and loved taking care of your sorority babies and wearing all your Greek gear around campus. Every year, you post the exact same Instagram about your first PSL of the year, so it’s no surprise that when you decided on fall to get married that a pumpkin spice latte bar was a must. In your adult life, you’re a teacher or something else nice and innocent but not for long because you’re probs getting knocked up within a year of your wedding day and will be a stay-at-home mom.
6. Long-Sleeved Gown
If the only slightly fall-ish thing you do at your wedding is wear a weather-appropriate dress then you’re one of the few classic and sophisticated fall brides, a real rare find. In fact, you’re probably getting married in the fall because it made sense based on when you got engaged, not because you’re weirdly obsessed with the season. In college, you found yourself somewhere in the middle, not a total nice girl but not a BSCB either. Once you graduated, you got a good job, like a marketing exec or lawyer, and probs met your future spouse at a bar during office happy hour. You’ll wait a while to have kids because you don’t want to give up your lifestyle, but don’t worry. You won’t. By the time that comes, you’ll be able to afford at least two nannies.