If there’s one thing that I’m grateful for, it’s how far self-tanners have come in recent years. As a self-diagnosed recovering tanning addict (college was a rough time, guys), I do send up a big thanks to the bronzing gods every day for coming up with self-tanners that finally give you a natural, healthy glow—and fast. I might be aging myself here, but who remembers when one of our only shots at getting “bronzed” legs in a hurry was to use Sally Hensen Airbrush Legs, only to be left with a weird pearlescent chalky residue that looked nothing like a real tan? I sure as hell do. So you can imagine my excitement when I recently noticed an influx of upgraded self-tanning waters, oils, and mousses up and down my (beauty-focused) Instagram feed, as well as the shelves of Sephora. So, because I believe that everyone looks better with a little natural glow (don’t @ me), I’ve tested out some of the newest and best self-tanners on the market right now so you can look like you just got back from some exotic island even if your summer vacation plans start and end in your backyard.
Tan-Luxe was actually the first brand that caught my eye on social media. On top of their chic packaging, the brand prides itself on introducing the world’s first self-tanning oil. So naturally, I was like, “wtf is this?” and immediately had to try. Tan-Luxe’s Wonder Oil has a convenient roller ball that glides on easily so you’re guaranteed an even application. Gone are the days where your tan turns out streaky because you rubbed globs of self-tanning lotion on unevenly. The shade of the tan itself is one of the best, most natural looking shades (and trust me, I’ve done the legwork). It’s more of a brown-bronze, so if your skin naturally has a red pigment, Wonder Oil is sure to cancel that out. And if you’re one of those “less is more” people when it comes to self-tanning (not me), since the solution goes on clear you can judge the development of the tan, and at any point during the development process (which is about two to four hours), if you’re like “Okay, this is good, I don’t want to get any darker,” then you shower and that’s the shade you will be.
Celebrity spray tanner Jules Von Hep has spent many years of his career inside a tanning tent bronzing some pretty famous bodies, so when he recently came out with his new self-tanning line, Isle of Paradise, I figured the products would be pretty good. The verdict? They’re really fucking good—and innovative, hydrating, and organic too. The brand’s hero product is their Self-Tanning Water that comes in light, medium, and dark shades. Each shade in their collection is color-coded: pink for light, green for medium, and purple for dark. I tried medium on my arms and legs (I had already had a pretty decent base tan) and the results were unreal. My orange-skinned college self was so envious. The water goes on as a clear mist (so again, you can judge the development of the tan) and all you need to do is pat dry with a tan mitt after the application and wait four to six hours for your tan to develop—and voilà, you end up looking like you’ve spent the week in Tulum. The tanning water is made with an exclusive blend of the brand’s SuperBalance complex to purposely reduce redness and soothe the skin, so again, if you have a natural red pigment in your skin, it gets canceled out so you look bronze, baby. As with any self-tanner, just make sure to wash your hands after applying to avoid any unwanted color gathering at your palms or between your fingers.
It’s common knowledge that the tan on your face fades the fastest as you tend to wash and exfoliate your face more often. So when I heard about the Isle of Paradise Self-Tanning Drops designed for your entire body, and especially your face, I knew I had to try it out. After cleansing and exfoliating your skin, simply apply 1-12 drops of the self-tanner to your favorite moisturizer and wait four to six hours as the tan develops. The more drops you add, the darker your tan will be. Just like IOP’s Self-Tanning Water, the Self-Tanning Drops are organic and infused with hydrating properties like avocado and coconut oils so your streak-free tan will also leave your skin smooth and moisturized.
If you’re looking for an instant bronze color while you wait for your actual tan to develop, NKD SKN’s Tinted Self Tan Mousse will get you a few shades darker right after application. The lightweight mousse goes on smooth and has a fresh, fruity scent so that you don’t have that typical spray tan smell as you wait for the mousse to work its magic. As for the actual tan, NKD SKN’s medium tan will get you a good two shades darker and gives a brown tan that I’m willing to bet is so much more natural-looking than any other self-tanner you’ve ever tried. The best part? Since the mousse goes on bronze, you’re able to see where you’re applying the tanner so you can ensure the coverage is even.
Everyone has probably used or at least seen a St. Tropez self-tanning product at some point in their life. Well, to stay with the times, the tan masters have recently released a tropical scented, clear water-foam self-tanner. While St. Tropez’s water mousse goes on clear, it delivers a golden tan that develops between four and eight hours—the longer you wait to shower after applying, the darker the tan will be.
To round out our list of the new wave of self-tanners is Vita Liberata’s now sold out foaming tan water, but sold out or not, it still deserves a spot on our list because it’s that fucking good. It goes on clear so there’s zero risk of the self-tanner transferring on to your clothes or sheets as it develops. And while the tan is a fierce, natural looking bronze color, it is safe enough to be used on your body AND face. What’s more is that it’s formulated with natural fruit extracts that contain anti-aging properties, so not only are you getting a safe tan without exposing your skin to UV rays that speed up the aging process, but you’re also providing your skin with anti-aging benefits.
I’m a girl with no name if I’m not at least two shades darker than my original skin tone. Stepping off a Caribbean island is not only what I need pronto, but what I need to look like at all times. If my friends don’t greet me with, “ohmygod, you got sooo tan,” then honestly, what’s my purpose in life? Everyone knows being tan makes you an all around happier person. I’d say nicer, too, but then I’d be lying. I prefer to lay out on the beach instead of frying under cancer-causing rays in a machine that was used as a prop in a Final Destination movie. Um, yeah, no thanks. The sun works just fine.
However, laying out can be hella annoying when you want to get some color without tan lines. This isn’t Europe, there aren’t any nude beaches (not that I’d go, tbh), and I’m not about to flash the creepy guy next door. Thanks to retro bathing suit trends, I now have random geometric shapes printed all over my body and it’s not okay. Like, how awk is it if you have a D appointment and your hard-earned tan body just looks diseased?! Since we won’t boycott our fave swimsuit brands and nothing good ever comes easy, here’s how to cover up your tan lines because they are not sexy.
This is not, and I repeat, not the same as the self-tanner you probs use at home. If you ignore this or try to argue, you’ll look like an idiot so just know I’m usually always right. Using the Sephora Perfection Mist Airbrush Foundation is absolutely a lifesaver for evening out awk tan lines. For less than $30, which is saying a lot for something that saves your sex life, you’ll have to find a shade closest to your new tan skin. While holding the can a decent distance away, spray directly onto the targeted areas. With a brush, beauty blender, or even your finger IDGAF, blend the shade into your tan lines for an oil-free seamless tan.
You’ll need to get your card ready and buy a new liquid, waterproof concealer like Clinique Beyond Perfecting Super Concealer that works best based on your fresh tan shade. You didn’t really need an excuse to buy from Sephora anyway, though. This concealer keeps your look down pat for a full 24 hours and stays sweat- and humidity-proof. Fucking gamechanger, I know. By using your fingers, fill in any uneven areas and blend onto your tanned skin to make sure the stripes on your waist are long gone. Trust me, it can’t even pass as a temporary henna tat. Use your everyday foundation to blend with for a flawless finish.
Customized Matte Bronzer
I mean, since it’s already July, chances are you were going to probably buy a new bronzer based on your new glow already. For covering up missed areas, whether that be on your chest or stomach, the Stila Stay All Day Bronzer For Face and Body does wonders. The fade-proof bronzing powder should be applied on areas your strappy bathing suit kept hidden from sunlight. By using a matte instead of shimmer bronzer, you’re going for a natural, smooth look so it doesn’t look like you showered half of your body in glitter. With the appropriate brush, blend all over the area for complete coverage. If your skin tone has pink or lighter tones, be sure to sample and find the right bronzer with rose gold or pearlescent hues. Just do what Kylie did and make swatches on someone else’s arm for you.
The 2000’s were a dark time. The iPhone wasn’t around until much later in the decade. The economy collapsed. Holy shit, 9/11 happened. I almost forgot about that one. Aaliyah died. (RIP Aaliyah.) Flip flops were really popular. Things were especially bleak, however, in the beauty department. The goal in the ’00s was to make yourself look as innocent and as slutty as possible. The aesthetic was “Baby Prostitute” meets “Bratz” meets “Emma, fourth season of Degrassi wherein she contracts throat gonorrhea.”
What I’m saying is, everyone had a tough time with their overall style during this decade. Maybe we were all too busy getting used to the internet and the early stages of social media (AIM), maybe we couldn’t be bothered to do anything but memorize the lyrics to “Ignition Remix,” maybe we were spending too much time at Blockbuster. Tough to pin it down.
Anyway, here are some of the most embarrassing beauty trends that ruled the ’00s.