If you’ve been following pop culture for the past decade, you likely know by now that no one controls their images more closely than the Kardashians. There’s a reason the common saying exists: “The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder.” The momager, by her own account—as documented in her “mem-wah”—runs a tight ship.
Before I continue: What’s most important to understand in the context of the Kardashians is that they are, first and foremost, a brand. A mega-brand, at that. And, like with any brand, image is everything, and must be upheld at all costs. Because if your brand suffers a PR fallout or an image crisis, the revenue consequences can be disastrous. (Just ask Victoria’s Secret.)
That’s why Khloé Kardashian’s recent blunder should be the family’s worst nightmare.
Not because the unedited, unfiltered photo of the third-oldest Kardashian leaked in the first place. She looks great—many Twitter users, in fact, said it was the best photo of her they’ve seen in years. (I just sincerely hope MJ is in a safe place right now.)
No, the blunder is that their reaction to the photo was so incredibly toxic and so obviously embarrassing, and deserves widespread ridicule—as well as a serious reflection on our part regarding to whom we give our attention and money.
As many people know by now, Khloé allegedly had her lawyers and even reportedly her sister Kim (!) reach out personally to Reddit and Twitter users who posted the photo—and tweets left and right were swept off the Internet faster than you can say “bible.” (Which is especially troubling when you consider the platform consistently lets off Nazis and death threat-spewing users scot-free.)
If Khloé and Ko. weren’t familiar with the Streisand Effect before—an Internet-age social phenomenon in which the act of suppressing information actually further draws attention to it—they certainly are now. The photo went viral, and Khloé released a statement decrying society’s bullying and impossible beauty standards, and how they have impacted her over the years. And that’s completely fair. I totally have empathy for her there. Getting called “the fat sister” by the media for years isn’t a fate I’d wish on anyone.
But she lost me when she acted like she’s a victim of society’s beauty standards in 2021 when she and her family are major perpetrators of the problem. It’s been more than a decade since the Kardashians came onto the scene as just a regular, albeit rich and connected, relatable family (rather than the fully formed brand they are today). Hundreds of millions of followers later, and with impossibly small, photoshopped waists and surgically enhanced behinds attributed to “hard work and exercise” (rather than the work of very talented LA-based plastic surgeons, or at the very least, personal trainers), the Kardashians have, for years, wielded a staggering amount of power over women’s self-esteem, and society’s beauty standards as a whole. Who do you think started the signature “Instagram face,”aka an oversize pout, button nose, and fox-like eyes? This, all while selling women products that capitalize on their specifically feminine insecurities—whether it’s body makeup, or contouring kits, or slimming shapewear. (Jameela Jamil was onto something when she dubbed the Kardashians “double agents for the patriarchy.”)
Like it or not, Kim, Kourtney, Khloé, Kendall, and Kylie brandish massive influence, and have, in a way, become “the standard” that women everywhere have emulated in the looks department—a standard that, to be clear, has been largely appropriated from women of color, from their signature features, to their style choices.
And if even the Kardashians—with their plastic surgery and trainers and personal chefs—are so miserable with their own appearances that they’ll sue over an unfiltered photo, what hope do the rest of us have? Why should any of us feel comfortable with our naked, unfiltered, unedited bodies if even a Kardashian can’t feel happy with hers?
What a message to send.
To me, the act of threatening legal action and having Twitter users’ accounts suspended for 12+ hours simply for posting an “unflattering” photo is self-hatred at its most distilled. (And it’s especially ironic when you remember that Khloé runs a brand, according to its website, on a platform of body acceptance.)
It didn’t end there, though: After the photo went viral, Khloé took to Instagram Live to show off her toned body, from a distance, in a dimly lit room. As if she had something to prove. As if she was saying, “I don’t look like THAT. There’s something inherently wrong with looking like that, and I need to prove to you that I don’t.”
In one fell swoop, the Kardashians alienated women everywhere and showed themselves for who they really are: self-hating, fatphobic hypocrites. And while that might sound harsh, they are a brand, after all. And as far as I’m concerned, Kris Jenner and her krew need to rapidly evolve with today’s times before their brand gets left behind in the 2010s, just like Victoria’s Secret.
Images: Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
I stopped following all the Kardashians on social media when Khloé used “anorexic” as a compliment in 2018. It was the final nail in the coffin (shaped nails) of their toxic behavior and hindrance to the positive body image movement of which they once fancied themselves as champions.
But you don’t have to be following them to be keenly aware of their most recent content catastrophe, all provoked by an unfiltered, unphotoshopped, and by all standards very nice photo of Khloé in a bikini. It doesn’t look like the Khloé we know from TV and Instagram. It looks like the Khloé that may actually exist.
The photo is said to have been taken on a recent family vacation to Palm Springs, and was either leaked by an assistant or her grandmother (whose grandmother hasn’t taken a photo of us we don’t approve of?). But it’s not the photo for once that’s making headlines: It’s the aftermath.
After its initial posting, the offending bikini pic was removed faster than an accidental like on your ex’s Instagram, with the family allegedly working overtime to scrub any traces of it from the internet forever (a gargantuan feat, even for a family with such a firm grip on the media and its inner workings). Sister Kim herself even got involved, allegedly direct messaging people to request its removal, citing the image, taken in broad daylight, as being “doctored”, taken “in the worst lighting”, and a “copywright infringement” as opposed to the truth, which is that it’s just not an image Khloé has carefully curated for the world to see.
On its (contoured) face, this is just another effort on the famous family’s part to control their narrative and image, but dig a bit deeper and it’s all just extremely sad. The Kardashians, what with all their yacht-loads of external validation (a combined 80 gazillion Instagram followers and “likes,” a slew of homes, so much money, access to any and everything) are no further along—and in fact, they seem frighteningly behind—people without an ounce of their resources, money, and fame to find a shred of self-worth. The timing of the incident, right before news also broke of Kim Kardashian officially becoming a billionaire, pretty perfectly drives home that sentiment.
The sadness I feel about Khloé, who has spent years (and, as she laid out on Instagram on Thursday, her entire life) publicly striving to achieve a version of herself that she finds “worthy” is twofold. Look at that photo and you’ll see what we have been conditioned by society and media to believe is the ideal body: a flat stomach, curves in the exact right places. These are things that I—and most people—don’t have! And yet she is so ashamed of it, writing on Instagram that it “doesn’t capture your body the way it is after working so hard to get to this point” with its non-Barbie doll smoothness (thank you, Diet Starts Tomorrow for that analogy) that her sister—who, by all accounts, has plenty more to do with her time than reach out to random people on social media—is doing everything she can to hide it.
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It’s equally as sad to learn that Khloé has obviously not found her own version of self-acceptance and has not done the internal work necessary to love, or at least make peace with, the external. The message being sent to millions of young (and not-so-young) women who look up to her and her sisters is that this more-than-acceptable body is simply unacceptable.
Even her response is sad, going on Instagram Live to prove that “this isn’t photoshopped” when in reality the only difference in the Palm Springs image is a bit of skin texture. It’s impossible to comprehend what it’s like to be ridiculed by the media for the way you look, but the reaction—one that can only be compared to that of a leaked sex tape as opposed to simply acknowledging that it’s a bad photo and moving on—speaks louder than a caption could.
It’s also impossible not to examine this incident as it pertains to her clothing brand, Good American, whose Instagram bio literally reads “representing body acceptance”. Often heralded as “expensive but worth it” by legions of fans on TikTok and actually impressive in terms of size offerings compared to most other fashion brands, here we see a true inability for Khloé to practice what she preaches.
Whereas many of the models in Good American’s marketing materials represent a more realistic body image, a recent campaign image of Khloé looked more like one of those Stretch Armstrong dolls of the ‘90s, all elongated limbs and a distorted body shape. She wants to be a champion of body diversity—just not when it comes to her own body.
Looking at the images Khloé did choose to share drums up toxic feelings, too. Despite knowing that they’re likely doctored, despite knowing everything I do about feeling good in my skin and the pitfalls of comparison especially on social media,, there’s a small part of my brain that’s jealous of the woman in this image, with her flawless skin and exposed rib cage. As long as we continue to glorify images like this one, and these women in general, the longer it will be before shifting beauty standards and healthier relationships with our bodies will trickle down to us, the masses.
If nothing else, perhaps this might be a moment of reckoning for anyone who still views these women as body image role models. It’s high time we all realize that the Kardashians, with their weight loss tea spon con and usage of skinny as the ultimate compliment, are anything but.
Images: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images; khloekardashian / Instagram
Guys, we made it to 2021. After the complete bullsh*t that was last year, I really hope this year is better. Although so far it’s not super great. I mean, wtf, I thought when the new year hit, everything would be magically fixed, I’d suddenly have the will to exercise again, and the world would make sense. Is that not how it works? But the good news is despite the world literally going up in flames (at least in the U.S.) and a global pandemic, we will always have some consistency in our lives. And that is the fact that Kim Kardashian (no longer West) has no idea what her face looks like. She also really has no idea what a human face looks like. As we know, Kim is the guiltiest of guilty when it comes to Facetune/Photoshop, second only to her sister Kylie. Let me tell you, at this point I’m partially convinced they’re just lizard people trying to pose as humans because why else must they edit their faces so much in every single pic? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, GUYS?
So my editor sent this pic:
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And I was like, “K, cool, who is this?”
Which. Do you know how many articles like this I’ve written about Kim? Do you know how many valuable hours of my life I have spent staring at her stupid face(s)? And still, this edit is so bad that I legit did not know who it was until I looked at the name. And even then, I was like, “Wait did they use some model? IS SHE JOKING?” But no! She was not joking. Kim thinks this is passable for her own face (and don’t even get me started on the body).
So, why doesn’t it look like Kim? Well. For starters, it looks like Bella Hadid.
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Who, let’s be real, doesn’t seem to look like herself (or human) anymore either. (What the f*ck is happening to these people???) Look, if you’re going to be editing your pics (which, I highly suggest you don’t, because I think it ultimately harms your self-esteem, aside from fixing just small things like acne or lighting), keeping your face proportions consistent is the most important. I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it again: These slight differences are truly what gives you your own face. The Kardashian Krowd does not do this, and that is why every pic of them looks like different people.
Here’s a close-up of Kim’s pic:
What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE F*CK? She looks like her face is made of playdough. The entire left side is stretched out and it looks like she realized this and tried to smush it back together, resulting in a nose that is literally melting off her face. Her eyes are pulled into a super sharp angle (very common surgical procedure too—see above, Bella Hadid), but she pushed it even further and now they don’t even match. Her lips are also smashed and blown up way bigger than even her injections would allow.
Casual reminder that this is Kim’s normal (well, for all the work she’s had done) face, as of February 2020.
And in case you want to try to tell me It’S tHe AnGle, here ya go.
Here you can really see how bulbously stretched out the left side of her face is. She’s looking almost totally straight forward with a slight head tilt, and yet her nose is all shoved to the side. It gets harder and harder to line these pics up the more she warps her face. I did this one based on her head size and lining up her nose position and lips. Girl, put the Facetune down!
Kim, I know times are tough, super sorry to hear about the divorce, but I really don’t want to know what kind of men you’ll attract with this smashed out head and face look you are going for. Maybe you could try just being yourself?
Images: Karwai Tang/Getty Images; kimkardashian, bellahadid / Instagram; Tenor
If you’re familiar with our Photoshop Fail series, or really just if you ever go on Instagram, you’re probably familiar with the time-honored Kardashian tradition of Facetuning the sh*t out of all their pictures. From slimming their waists to stretching their legs, the Kardashian-Jenners have used every editing trick in the book to convince us that they look like completely different people. And out of this whole over-smoothed family, Khloé Kardashian is the Facetune warrior at the forefront of face-changing technology.
The problem is, Khloé clearly doesn’t know where to stop when it comes to editing her photos. Over the last six months of quarantine and social distancing, we’ve all found new ways to keep our minds occupied, and lucky for us, Khloé has provided our brains with a fun logic puzzle: struggling to recognize her in every single photo she posts. This year, she’s taken the photo editing to a whole new level, so much so that when this photo popped up on my explore page last week, I actually did a double take before realizing who it was.
Yes friends, that is Khloé Kardashian, from the shoot for her new collaboration with Ipsy. I don’t know what kind of editing software they used here, but it looks like she went through some bizarre algorithm that’s supposed to make you look like Beyoncé and Ariana Grande at the same time. Who is this woman, and how did we get here?? Let’s take a walk down memory lane—or at least back to May of this year.
When Khloé posted this set of photos, the internet reaction was intense, with many people proclaiming that Khloé had gotten a “new face” in quarantine, and others pointing out anomalies like the mysteriously missing necklace chain, her eyes being too large (and uneven), her massive, extremely white teeth, and her signature beauty mark not being visible.
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I always suspected that there was more editing going on here than plastic surgery, and the other shoe dropped in August, when Khloé was shown in a KUWTK confessional interview from the same day. Same outfit, same hair and makeup, but her face looks almost completely different. So, for all the guesses about her quarantine procedures, it turns out Khloé just edited the f*ck out of her photos, as usual. Did she not realize we were all going to see a video that would expose the editing?
But while her photo from May was one of the more viral instances of Khloé’s photo editing addiction, it’s far from the only face she’s introduced us to on the ‘Gram. Last September, she posted this photo that honestly makes me physically uncomfortable to look at. Not only is her skin way too smooth, but her eyes are a telltale sign of too much Facetune. No one’s eyes look like that. The whites are way too white, and the irises look like they’re glowing from the inside. Idk why people insist on doing this, because it looks unnatural AF.
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In February of this year, Khloé switched things up again with this overly edited shot featuring her in a denim bodysuit and bob haircut. Her makeup looks flawless, which is probably mostly real, but KoKo’s face is just not that symmetrical, and her jaw is not that sharp. We all have eyes!
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This example from August is an interesting one, because it’s a pic of Khloé with True. Thankfully, Khloé didn’t Facetune her toddler, but she was up to all her usual tricks when it came to her own appearance. It’s a grainy selfie, but she definitely still smoothed her face and enlarged her eyes. But more importantly than the technical breakdown, she just doesn’t look like herself. That’s the problem with Khloé’s Facetune usage—it’s one thing if you edit all your pictures to look like the same version of yourself. But something is wrong when I have to double check every single time that it’s actually Khloé.
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And just last weekend, Khloé kept us guessing once more, with these photos featuring her in latex pants and a printed corset. She looks amazing, except for the fact that her face has been remixed yet again. She looks extra tan like in her Ipsy photo shoot, but gone are the high cheekbones and eye shape that made her look like a completely different person. In this post, she actually included videos from the shoot, which would normally be a Facetune giveaway, but there’s clearly a heavy filter over the video, so Khloé may actually be getting smarter about her tactics.
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Man this heat wave is intense!! Isn’t it October??? Lex, This ones for you 😉
The wild thing about all this is that at the end of the day, I don’t even think Khloé Kardashian has had much plastic surgery done. I’m sure she’s played around with fillers, and maybe some light procedures here and there, but for all the fuss about her getting a “new face” every couple of months, it really all comes down to editing. The issue is, we all see Khloé on TV and in photos that haven’t gone through her editing process, so she’s not actually fooling anyone! But still, I’m excited to see what new and interesting editing tactics she can come up with next.
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Images: Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Abyss By Abby; khloekardashian, Ipsy / Instagram
In the world of Instagram, it’s incredibly scary to see what people think is attractive. Social media has taken magazine and regular media editing and warped it even more, so now it may seem like everyone you know looks like Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian—perfect curves, teeny waists, striking features, and some
light plastic surgery. But don’t worry, guys: pretty much everyone you see on Instagram is full of sh*t. Thankfully, most people who post like this on social media do not know what the f*ck they are doing, even when they should def have the budget to hire a decent photo editor (looking at you, Kylie. One billion dollars and not one person knows where your waist should be?). Especially since most of us are still staying home, it might seem like all you do is look at other people’s photos on Instagram, and if you’re not careful, this can get real toxic real quick. To save you from the B.S., I’m here to give you a few quick, easy tips to figure out whether someone on Instagram is misleading you.
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Same body, same underwear, different shape… On the left: – popped hip – underwear pulled high to waist – stretching up my torso – tensing my stomach muscles – sucking in my waist On the right: – relaxed Both images are my body that I love and am proud of. We don’t see unposed and relaxed images on IG often but I want to make it normal, because it is normal. You can completely transform the shape of your body through cleaver poses but at the end of the day, you should be so proud to share your relaxed and natural body because it’s beautiful just as it is. 💕
I don’t really know who Georgie Clark is (a reality star, says Google?) but you should follow her immediately. She started posting her thirst trap photos with a twist, throwing in a real picture that isn’t perfectly posed to show you how important knowing your angles can be. It’s really cool to see because this is even before Facetune. Just knowing how to show your body at the right poses (and having proper lighting, but we’ll get there) can make you look completely different.
In the photo on the right, you can tell she’s fit, but has a super normal straight waist and minimal ab definition. According to Georgie’s post, if you see someone stretching out their torso, with a hip out, and clearly sucking in (spoiler: it’s all of them), IT IS STRATEGICALLY POSED and not this person’s body IRL. That’s also true if you see underwear or bathing suit bottoms over the hips—it’s a super flattering silhouette, but they probably don’t look like this all the time. I have zero (0) issues with posing strategically in photos and wearing flattering outfits. In fact, I think that’s pretty necessary to take your most flattering pics; just ask any pro photographer. But just know, this is an art that people spend a lot of time perfecting and it’s not what they look like 24/7.
I don’t know who this chick is either (but apparently 1.8 million people do? Who are you people?) but after seeing this photo, I thought one thing immediately: Who TF does she think she’s kidding with this v v v fake Facetune waist job? Apparently, quite a few people. 175k at time of posting. This is the kind of sh*t I have a problem with. It’s not just posing your real body; it’s taking out body parts to fake what you look like. Thus creating the toxic AF wormhole we’re in as a society, especially for women. Sigh.
So, how do we know this photo is Facetuned (badly) and isn’t just well-angled, like Georgie’s? Take a look at Sarah’s stomach. Her sides are scooped out (and blurry BTW). Her ribs are smushed. This is anatomically incorrect. And how do we know this isn’t just her body? Well, here’s an easy little trick. Your bellybutton is actually level with your hip bones, so it basically sits at the widest part of your torso. The smallest part of your waist is actually right under the rib cage. Here’s the big mistake people make when they try to give themselves super cinched waists: they put the smallest part of their waist too close to their bellybutton instead. It gives you more of an hourglass figure, but unless you’re wearing a few pairs of Spanx, it’s just not possible. You can fake it by putting high-waisted stuff up on your hips (see above) but as we can see in this photo, Sarah’s waist indents are both too low and NOT at the bikini bottoms like Georgie’s is. Also, her waist is the same size as her head. Not possible without a corset because of, you know, organs. Why do influencers want to pretend they don’t have organs?
Here’s a throwback photo of Chrissy Teigen, for an example:
This is her real stomach. You can tell because the smallest part of her stomach is under the ribs, while her bellybutton is at the widest part where her hipbones are. See how much higher up her waist indents are than Sarah’s? Even check out the above photo of Georgie Clark. In BOTH photos, even the posed one, her bellybutton lines up with her hipbones. Sarah tried to sidestep this by removing her hip bones entirely, but you guys are too smart for that BS now.
My rule with most celeb or influencer photos is that, if something looks off, it’s probably because it is. Take, for example, the giant leg craze of last year (simpler times, truly). We did a whole article on celeb-fave app Spring that gave everyone very scary Jack Skellington legs, but there are always a few ways to tell it’s being used. 1) The person looks like Jack Skellington, or this lovely 9-foot-tall Kylie monster, featured above. 2) Their feet are ENORMOUS from the stretching (LOL). 3) The background is stretched along with them (Kylie is on a boat, so it’s harder to tell, but check for it anyway). And 4) if all else fails, and you REALLY NEED TO KNOW whether this photo is real or fake, you can always bust out some anatomy skills and see if the person is disproportionately too tall.
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Just a little reminder for Monday… you are beautiful from any angle, lighting or pose. You can see just how quickly I can change how my body looks from knowing: 1️⃣ Where the light is most flattering 2️⃣ What pose looks the best for my body 3️⃣ Which angle compliments my skin These are all tricks that every influencer and model has learnt so when you see “the best” shot on here… just remember it’s a snapshot of their real life and it doesn’t mean that’s the reality of what their body looks like. P.s does anyone know why when I post these videos on here it strips my tan? It takes the saturation out of my videos! So annoying 🤬
These videos from Georgie are everything. We already talked about how important posing is, but here’s another video that shows the importance of good lighting! It’s all an illusion, guys. Everyone has fat, cellulite, and rolls no matter how thin or fit you are—it just is what it is. So how can you tell if lighting is hiding imperfections? Well, pay attention to where the sun and shadows are. If the shadows are soft rather than harsh, if the person is outside, or if it’s golden hour, chances are it’s just good lighting that’s making them appear so flawless. (You can read more about lighting here.) But this is why you don’t look like a supermodel under the fluorescent lights in your bathroom when you’re getting ready for the day. Because Georgie is a badass, here is another amazing photo of her in harsh lighting, with cellulite and stretch marks, not sucking in her stomach. Be nicer to yourself.
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It’s taken me a while to get here but Reality vs Reality ☺️ I posted a picture of my stretch marks a few days and YES I was sucking in (it’s like I can’t stop myself sometimes because my body’s been under so much scrutiny as a female for years!) I’m trying to unlearn this now as sometimes I do it without realising… how sad is that… that women can be doing normal everyday things and be uncomfortably sucking in all day because of the scrutiny her body has been put under?! Anyway, under this picture of my stretch-marks and me sucking in… A girl commented “How can I get a flat stomach like you?” I quickly replied and said “I’m sucking in to the point I can’t even breath 😂 “ Which then so many of you gorgeous people said… “We want to see the real shot then!” With all of your encouragement, kind words and amazing messages (even sharing my content) has really given me the confidence to finally post just my reality 😍 it’s a liberating place to be at and you’re all the people who’ve helped me get here. So THANK YOU, I don’t deserve you all but I’m bloody glad I have you all supporting me. Even if you can relate to just one of my posts or one caption has helped you then it’s worth it for me. 💕 #selflove #normalisenormalbodies
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just bringing a bit of reality to your Saturday morning workout sesh 🔥💪🏼 ⠀ ⠀ Do you find yourself thinking one of these photos is “healthier” than other? Why is that?⠀ ⠀ I have known my body for decades. I have known that dieting and exercising towards this “ideal” body shape has lead to unhappiness and toxic cycles of binging. ⠀ ⠀ And so I know now that my body is meant to look this way. We are in homeostasis. We are happy. ⠀ ⠀ You know your body and you know best . You have no obligations to let the social misconceptions of others change who you are . ⠀ ⠀ We are absolutely enough. ⠀ ⠀ @gymshark #gifted ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #bodyacceptance #gymsharkwomen #gymshark #workoutoutfit #workoutclothes #matchingset #bikeshorts #backrolls #bighips #bodyneutrality #idealbody #antidiet #antidietculture #midsize #allbodiesaregoodbodies #effyourbeautystandards
Christine is another body-positive model that I follow, and you totally should, too. This picture shows how choosing clothing that fits well and hits you in the right spots can make a huge difference. Take the first pic of Georgie—she looks way smaller because her underwear is up on her hip bones, cinching her waist further. Here, Christine shows us the difference something as simple as pulling your pants up to your waist can make. You’ll probably notice all the celebs and influencers hike their pants high up on their hip bones for this same effect, too.
There are things on Instagram that I find really toxic, like creating a new body with Facetune. And there are photography tricks that I think are fine, because it’s at least your body, just showcased in a very specific way. But the bottom line is that none of these things are reality or what these people look like on the daily.
I hope this has been helpful and made you feel better about the content that’s being shoved down your throat. No matter how thin or perfect celebrities seem in photos, I promise you that it’s 99% bullsh*t—we didn’t even get into all the plastic surgery, makeup, hair stylists, and body makeup (yes, body makeup) that celebs also use!
What are little tricks and giveaways that tell you a photo isn’t real life? Do you compare yourself to the models, celebrities, and influencers you see on Instagram? Did you know how much goes into taking the “perfect” photo? How do you feel about the difference between posing vs. completely giving yourself a new waist via Facetune? LMK!
Image: Meital Anlen / Unsplash
I’ve got to be honest with you guys. I don’t like EDM. I don’t even really remember what EDM stands for. I feel like EDM pretty much only has its place in clubs and music festivals, both of which I hate. I hate crowds, I hate being hot, I hate people bumping into me, and God help you all if I’m forced to deal with all three at the same time. Even if you like festivals, you have to admit they are the dirtiest. I also primarily listen to old rock music, and if it’s from the ’90s, I consider that “newer”. Soooo I’m not particularly attached to David Guetta, nor do I really know who he is, aside from hearing his name here and there. According to his Wikipedia page, he’s an EDM DJ and that is currently all I know about him. In general, I’m opposed to DJs, mostly because every guy I knew in college also thought he was a DJ, and most of them are total sh*tshows. But David Guetta seems to be a pretty big name and have his sh*t together.
So I know that, and I know that he’s in great shape according to his latest Instagram post.
And apparently he’s 52?! Good for him! He’s in better shape than the twentysomething guys I know (you know, the pretend DJs). Except, unfortunately, this photo is full of lies and deceit. Not because David Photoshopped on his abs (which I don’t think he did, although it is very easy to do), but instead of changing up his diet to look more trim, David decided to use a little app we know and despise called Facetune. How do I know this, you ask?
Well. It’s f*cking obvious, that’s how.
It’s either that, or he owns some very strange furniture that all seems to bend around his body? Maybe he gets it at the same place the Kardashians do? He is actually missing full chunks of arm and stomach on the left side (since it’s a mirror selfie)! Also on on the left, is that a piece of equipment, wall, or part of the mirror? Whatever it is, it was straight until it got near his shoulder, and then it bent. Also, what is going on with those equipment wires near his missing stomach chunk? They’re all broken up? And what’s with that poster behind him? It looks like only the letters near his shoulder are italicized (or just bent) and then it goes back to normal by the “E”.
But the worst is, of course, the right side with those shelves. They start off straight until they get near his body, and then the entire thing curves horribly. And at the SAME angles as his stomach, weirdly enough! He really does have his own Kardashian vortex.
What is the point of being completely ripped at 52 and taking a gym selfie if you’re going to Facetune yourself anyway? C’mon man, it’s more impressive when it’s your actual body! David, if you’re going to take a gym selfie, don’t insult our intelligence by editing your bod. I’m not saying this is EDM’s fault, but I am saying that I haven’t seen any rockstars do this. This just reestablishes what I already learned in college: you should not trust DJs! Or maybe just men?
Are you surprised to see that men use Facetune the same way women do? Did you notice that VERY few comments on David’s picture even noticed the mistake? Why do you think someone who’s clearly in awesome shape would even bother with something like this? Do you know any men who Facetune?
Images: davidguetta / Instagram
It is Day 54 of quarantine. I haven’t showered in a super long time. I’ve read everything on Betches, AND Buzzfeed, AND all of my social media feeds. I’ve watched basically all of Netflix and settled on The Office yet again. Also, have you seen Never Have I Ever? It’s fantastic but needs like, 30 more episodes. Times are dark, guys. As I obsessively scroll Instagram for literally any *ANY* new information, I see a little something from our dear Photoshop Fail Friend, Kylie Jenner.
Now, Kylie has been in some hot water recently because she went out in public without her paid paparazzi, and the photos were very normal. I’m pretty confused as to why people were surprised by this. Guys, NO ONE is a 24/7 thirst trap. It takes a lot of makeup and posing to look like Kylie Jenner, and it sounds exhausting tbh. We’re all in quarantine anyway, let her buy her chips in peace.
The way that Quarantine has turned Kylie Jenner back into a white girl pic.twitter.com/FQjlTEY95F
— B. Velvet (@BeyonceLeague) April 20, 2020
If anything, I love this, because it shows what we’ve been saying with this article series all along: celebs, they’re just like us! And it takes a ton of Photoshop, Facetune, creative angles, and contours to look like a celeb.
Of course, Kyle couldn’t just let it go and be cool, and has been desperate ever since to remind us that she’s actually super hot when she tries. I think it would have been a way better power move to just let it be. But as a Kardashian/Jenner they always need to look supernatural, so she’s been posting pretty frequent thirst traps since.
So then she posted these:
She’s all, “Look at me, you poors! I am rich and thin and have a pool!” However, Kylie’s new house seems to have super f*cking weird pool.
Because in every photo, the structural integrity of the pool seems to completely fall apart whenever it’s near Kylie. Also known as the Kardashian Vortex.
Here’s the thing. Yes, water warps perspective, but it definitely does not warp the portion of the pool structure clearly OUT of the water. I thought these were pretty bad, guys. First, it gives me secondhand shame to picture Kylie posing all over her pool with probably her housekeeper taking 4,000 snapshots of her so she can prove she’s sexy to undo the chip pics. It’s just embarrassing. Like, enjoy your life and chill out. But it makes it even more embarrassing that she then painstakingly dragged her pics around in Facetune in order to get Barbie proportions and messed her pool up in the process. But then it gets worse.
Because this is actually her second post of said photoshoot. The first post included this image that was cropped differently:
Kylie you are the worst using photoshop pic.twitter.com/eoGOsG0BqA
— Leo (@wichocantu98) April 28, 2020
Where you can clearly see THERE IS A GIANT CHUNK missing from her pool, that also surrounds her ass. I mean, what the hell was she editing for this to happen?
So there you have it. At least Kylie’s grotesque editing of her body is the one constant in our lives in these uncertain times.
Did you notice Kylie’s messed up pool immediately? Are you now a pro at spotting these Fails now? What other Photoshop abuse have you seen lately? Do you agree that Kylie should be allowed to buy chips without having a posed photoshoot? LMK!
Images: kyliejenner / Instagram; beyonceleague, wichocantu98 / Twitter
With the world falling apart in a global pandemic, a lot of things are uncertain right now. But don’t worry friends, we have one constant that will never change in our lives. And that is Kim Kardashian West’s insistence on warping her face with Facetune. It’s one comfort we can always count on. I know she’s a regular feature of this column, but Kim has actually impressed me quite a bit lately with her legal advocacy work and studying to become a lawyer. It’s nice to see someone with that much power and influence using it for good. But despite her having a priority change, Kim is still messing with her face worse than ever. Because Kim likes to use quick-fix apps like Facetune, her face often turns out looking different than it did before. In fact, half the time she’s straight-up unrecognizable, such as in this post she did a few days ago:
Really, though? Who is this? It looks a hell of a lot different than the person she posted four weeks ago:
Do these not look like two completely different women? Sidenote: super happy to see Kim posting about supporting children’s hospitals right now, so she gets brownie points for that. At least her selfies are being taken (and edited) for a good cause.
But I just can’t get over how different she looks in every single picture, and I think this is why: every time she warps her pics, she does it slightly differently. In the new picture, for instance, she made her eyes, eyebrows, and lips humongous.
Do you see the drastic difference, even though both pictures are clearly edited? I had a field day trying to get these to line up because of the difference in features, but I lined them based on her head size and nose (even though her nose in both of them is almost completely erased). In the newer picture, her eyes are about 1.5 times the size of her eyes in the older one, even though they’re half-closed! Her eyebrows are literally double or more. And her lips are doubled, too!
I say this a lot in these articles, but the biggest problem with face editing is that your features make you look like you. ANY amount of messing with the size of your features will suddenly make you look like another person. This is why I don’t like or approve of these types of edits—it can only hurt your self-esteem by making you feel like your own features are not good enough. Like, cleaning up broken-out skin doesn’t change what you really look like, but erasing your nose and giving yourself anime eyes sure as hell does.
If you’re having trouble seeing the difference, I traced the new picture’s features:
And then laid it over the old picture:
It’s like Kim is Mr. Potato Head—all her features are just swimming all over her face in different places!
Kim on Facetune:
You cannot just go rogue on all your proportions in every single picture and then wonder why nothing looks like you. Which one is the real Kim? Well, Kim posted a video of herself doing her makeup:
View this post on Instagram
I’m walking you step-by-step through a quick and natural makeup routine for staying home. (With unexpected cameo from North) I’m using some of my @kkwbeauty essentials: -Liquid Concealer in shade 7 -Baking Powder in shade 2 -Crème Contour & Highlight Set in Medium -Powder Contour & Highlight Palette in Medium -Classic Shimmers Blush Palette -Mascara -Nude 1.5 Lip Liner -90's Icon Matte Lipstick -Brightening Powder in shade 2
And this Kim looks completely different than the previous two also! Kim, you’re a master of disguise, but I highly recommend lightening up on Facetune. You claim to be so body positive (debatable, given the types of products she shills for) and yet you are constantly playing Jenga with your own face. And I’m sick of the super weird massive eyeball trend!
Girls on Facetune:
You all look scary.
Did you notice how Facetuned the new Kim pic was? Could you tell what was off about it? Why do people give themselves giant alien eyes? Do you do this kind of editing of your photos? If so, why and do you think it affects your self-esteem in real life? LMK in the comments!
Images: Instagarm (@kimkardashian) (3); Giphy (2)