The other day, my friend showed me a picture of this girl we went to college with. Or, to explain it more accurately, my friend showed me a picture of a plastic blowup doll with enormous fox eyes and evil villain eyebrows and lips that even Kylie Jenner would probably describe as “too much”. She legitimately looked like a sex doll and Ursula from The Little Mermaid‘s love child. And this is what a very pretty, very human-looking girl we know is trying to pass as not only a photo of herself, but a photo of a real human being.
As much I as I wanted to laugh at the photo because it was so absurd, it actually made me feel really sad for her. The amount of fillers/Facetune she used to cover up her face really says it all about where her self-esteem is at. And why do so many women and men we know do this to themselves? Because we see celebrities and influencers do it. This is now somehow the bare minimum standard for women online.
Now, as we know, the people MOST to blame for singularly destroying the self-esteem of millions of normal bodied women (and men!) worldwide, are the Kardashian/Jenner clan. Who OF COURSE are at it again.
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Khloé Kardashian decided to post a totally normal and anatomically plausible photo of herself posing on some totally normal, straight stairs to show off her hard work at the gym. #squats #gym4lyfe #goals. Oh wait, just kidding, she instead decided to once again completely Facetune/warp the sh*t out of her body to perpetuate the idea normal bodies aren’t good enough and we should all get plastic surgery and use photo editing apps. Sigh. Let’s just talk about everything that doesn’t make sense about this photo.
1. Ass to Body Ratio
Soooo her ass sticks out so much that she somehow is able to prop herself up via her butt without any of her body touching the wall? Is that right? Her top half is turned more away from us so the rest of her (ass down) looks bigger in perspective. But it’s still just way too much. How would she able to walk with this thing? She would topple straight over.
2. Spine Bending
Anatomy isn’t a huge issue when you’re a Kardashian, but damn girl, drop whatever yoga class you’ve been doing in quarantine because that is quite the spine bend. I mean, talk about scoliosis, are you in pain? Like, I used to belly dance and I’ve seen some crazy f*cked up backbends that women can do, but their regular spine while standing does not do a full almost-right angle. I mean. WTF?
3. Hi, Remember Organs?
I know, I know, body parts and organs are just not *sexy* anymore. But here’s a quick remember of everything that is supposed to fit inside Khloe’s four inch waist.
These kind of photo edits are scary, because everyone looks thinner in profile like this, especially angling the body away from the camera. However, it’s just a little TOO drastic to be believable. And even if we were going to pretend iT’s ThE aNgLeS, remember that angles are ALSO not real life. This is not what anyone looks like, unless they are starring in anime.
4. Stairs and Walls DO NOT BEND
This one is just for you guys that STILL like to pretend this isn’t edited. Depending on the angle of the camera, stairs and walls can have lines going at a diagonal, but it would be a STRAIGHT diagonal. You can hold a camera crooked, but it would not warp a solid structure unless you’re using a fish eye lens (which this clearly is not). It’s always sooo interesting to me that straight lines get conveniently wobbly just around the Kardashian Vortex. These lines tell us that the stairs and bricks WERE straight riiiiiight up until they get near Khloé’s waist and butt. INTERESTING.
I had to blow this up a bit for you to see it, but this is a telltale sign the photo has been tampered with QUITE a bit.
The blue shadow is fine, that’s just bouncing light, but the glowing blue edge around Khloé’s back and ass IS NOT. That comes from smudging the body around back and forth to achieve the desired silhouette. And look how curved those bricks are too. You’ll notice the blue glow is more severe on this spot, and only minimally on her front area/arms.
Khloé, you did the work, your body looks awesome, JUST LET IT GO. And stop making my weird friend from college feel so insecure about herself that she’s achieving super villain status. You are (unfortunately) some kind of role model to the rest of us, so DO BETTER.
Images: Giphy, FreePik, Instagram
Guys, we made it to 2021. After the complete bullsh*t that was last year, I really hope this year is better. Although so far it’s not super great. I mean, wtf, I thought when the new year hit, everything would be magically fixed, I’d suddenly have the will to exercise again, and the world would make sense. Is that not how it works? But the good news is despite the world literally going up in flames (at least in the U.S.) and a global pandemic, we will always have some consistency in our lives. And that is the fact that Kim Kardashian (no longer West) has no idea what her face looks like. She also really has no idea what a human face looks like. As we know, Kim is the guiltiest of guilty when it comes to Facetune/Photoshop, second only to her sister Kylie. Let me tell you, at this point I’m partially convinced they’re just lizard people trying to pose as humans because why else must they edit their faces so much in every single pic? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, GUYS?
So my editor sent this pic:
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And I was like, “K, cool, who is this?”
Which. Do you know how many articles like this I’ve written about Kim? Do you know how many valuable hours of my life I have spent staring at her stupid face(s)? And still, this edit is so bad that I legit did not know who it was until I looked at the name. And even then, I was like, “Wait did they use some model? IS SHE JOKING?” But no! She was not joking. Kim thinks this is passable for her own face (and don’t even get me started on the body).
So, why doesn’t it look like Kim? Well. For starters, it looks like Bella Hadid.
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Who, let’s be real, doesn’t seem to look like herself (or human) anymore either. (What the f*ck is happening to these people???) Look, if you’re going to be editing your pics (which, I highly suggest you don’t, because I think it ultimately harms your self-esteem, aside from fixing just small things like acne or lighting), keeping your face proportions consistent is the most important. I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it again: These slight differences are truly what gives you your own face. The Kardashian Krowd does not do this, and that is why every pic of them looks like different people.
Here’s a close-up of Kim’s pic:
What, and I cannot stress this enough, THE F*CK? She looks like her face is made of playdough. The entire left side is stretched out and it looks like she realized this and tried to smush it back together, resulting in a nose that is literally melting off her face. Her eyes are pulled into a super sharp angle (very common surgical procedure too—see above, Bella Hadid), but she pushed it even further and now they don’t even match. Her lips are also smashed and blown up way bigger than even her injections would allow.
Casual reminder that this is Kim’s normal (well, for all the work she’s had done) face, as of February 2020.
And in case you want to try to tell me It’S tHe AnGle, here ya go.
Here you can really see how bulbously stretched out the left side of her face is. She’s looking almost totally straight forward with a slight head tilt, and yet her nose is all shoved to the side. It gets harder and harder to line these pics up the more she warps her face. I did this one based on her head size and lining up her nose position and lips. Girl, put the Facetune down!
Kim, I know times are tough, super sorry to hear about the divorce, but I really don’t want to know what kind of men you’ll attract with this smashed out head and face look you are going for. Maybe you could try just being yourself?
Images: Karwai Tang/Getty Images; kimkardashian, bellahadid / Instagram; Tenor
In the world of Instagram, it’s incredibly scary to see what people think is attractive. Social media has taken magazine and regular media editing and warped it even more, so now it may seem like everyone you know looks like Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian—perfect curves, teeny waists, striking features, and some
light plastic surgery. But don’t worry, guys: pretty much everyone you see on Instagram is full of sh*t. Thankfully, most people who post like this on social media do not know what the f*ck they are doing, even when they should def have the budget to hire a decent photo editor (looking at you, Kylie. One billion dollars and not one person knows where your waist should be?). Especially since most of us are still staying home, it might seem like all you do is look at other people’s photos on Instagram, and if you’re not careful, this can get real toxic real quick. To save you from the B.S., I’m here to give you a few quick, easy tips to figure out whether someone on Instagram is misleading you.
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Same body, same underwear, different shape… On the left: – popped hip – underwear pulled high to waist – stretching up my torso – tensing my stomach muscles – sucking in my waist On the right: – relaxed Both images are my body that I love and am proud of. We don’t see unposed and relaxed images on IG often but I want to make it normal, because it is normal. You can completely transform the shape of your body through cleaver poses but at the end of the day, you should be so proud to share your relaxed and natural body because it’s beautiful just as it is. 💕
I don’t really know who Georgie Clark is (a reality star, says Google?) but you should follow her immediately. She started posting her thirst trap photos with a twist, throwing in a real picture that isn’t perfectly posed to show you how important knowing your angles can be. It’s really cool to see because this is even before Facetune. Just knowing how to show your body at the right poses (and having proper lighting, but we’ll get there) can make you look completely different.
In the photo on the right, you can tell she’s fit, but has a super normal straight waist and minimal ab definition. According to Georgie’s post, if you see someone stretching out their torso, with a hip out, and clearly sucking in (spoiler: it’s all of them), IT IS STRATEGICALLY POSED and not this person’s body IRL. That’s also true if you see underwear or bathing suit bottoms over the hips—it’s a super flattering silhouette, but they probably don’t look like this all the time. I have zero (0) issues with posing strategically in photos and wearing flattering outfits. In fact, I think that’s pretty necessary to take your most flattering pics; just ask any pro photographer. But just know, this is an art that people spend a lot of time perfecting and it’s not what they look like 24/7.
I don’t know who this chick is either (but apparently 1.8 million people do? Who are you people?) but after seeing this photo, I thought one thing immediately: Who TF does she think she’s kidding with this v v v fake Facetune waist job? Apparently, quite a few people. 175k at time of posting. This is the kind of sh*t I have a problem with. It’s not just posing your real body; it’s taking out body parts to fake what you look like. Thus creating the toxic AF wormhole we’re in as a society, especially for women. Sigh.
So, how do we know this photo is Facetuned (badly) and isn’t just well-angled, like Georgie’s? Take a look at Sarah’s stomach. Her sides are scooped out (and blurry BTW). Her ribs are smushed. This is anatomically incorrect. And how do we know this isn’t just her body? Well, here’s an easy little trick. Your bellybutton is actually level with your hip bones, so it basically sits at the widest part of your torso. The smallest part of your waist is actually right under the rib cage. Here’s the big mistake people make when they try to give themselves super cinched waists: they put the smallest part of their waist too close to their bellybutton instead. It gives you more of an hourglass figure, but unless you’re wearing a few pairs of Spanx, it’s just not possible. You can fake it by putting high-waisted stuff up on your hips (see above) but as we can see in this photo, Sarah’s waist indents are both too low and NOT at the bikini bottoms like Georgie’s is. Also, her waist is the same size as her head. Not possible without a corset because of, you know, organs. Why do influencers want to pretend they don’t have organs?
Here’s a throwback photo of Chrissy Teigen, for an example:
This is her real stomach. You can tell because the smallest part of her stomach is under the ribs, while her bellybutton is at the widest part where her hipbones are. See how much higher up her waist indents are than Sarah’s? Even check out the above photo of Georgie Clark. In BOTH photos, even the posed one, her bellybutton lines up with her hipbones. Sarah tried to sidestep this by removing her hip bones entirely, but you guys are too smart for that BS now.
My rule with most celeb or influencer photos is that, if something looks off, it’s probably because it is. Take, for example, the giant leg craze of last year (simpler times, truly). We did a whole article on celeb-fave app Spring that gave everyone very scary Jack Skellington legs, but there are always a few ways to tell it’s being used. 1) The person looks like Jack Skellington, or this lovely 9-foot-tall Kylie monster, featured above. 2) Their feet are ENORMOUS from the stretching (LOL). 3) The background is stretched along with them (Kylie is on a boat, so it’s harder to tell, but check for it anyway). And 4) if all else fails, and you REALLY NEED TO KNOW whether this photo is real or fake, you can always bust out some anatomy skills and see if the person is disproportionately too tall.
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Just a little reminder for Monday… you are beautiful from any angle, lighting or pose. You can see just how quickly I can change how my body looks from knowing: 1️⃣ Where the light is most flattering 2️⃣ What pose looks the best for my body 3️⃣ Which angle compliments my skin These are all tricks that every influencer and model has learnt so when you see “the best” shot on here… just remember it’s a snapshot of their real life and it doesn’t mean that’s the reality of what their body looks like. P.s does anyone know why when I post these videos on here it strips my tan? It takes the saturation out of my videos! So annoying 🤬
These videos from Georgie are everything. We already talked about how important posing is, but here’s another video that shows the importance of good lighting! It’s all an illusion, guys. Everyone has fat, cellulite, and rolls no matter how thin or fit you are—it just is what it is. So how can you tell if lighting is hiding imperfections? Well, pay attention to where the sun and shadows are. If the shadows are soft rather than harsh, if the person is outside, or if it’s golden hour, chances are it’s just good lighting that’s making them appear so flawless. (You can read more about lighting here.) But this is why you don’t look like a supermodel under the fluorescent lights in your bathroom when you’re getting ready for the day. Because Georgie is a badass, here is another amazing photo of her in harsh lighting, with cellulite and stretch marks, not sucking in her stomach. Be nicer to yourself.
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It’s taken me a while to get here but Reality vs Reality ☺️ I posted a picture of my stretch marks a few days and YES I was sucking in (it’s like I can’t stop myself sometimes because my body’s been under so much scrutiny as a female for years!) I’m trying to unlearn this now as sometimes I do it without realising… how sad is that… that women can be doing normal everyday things and be uncomfortably sucking in all day because of the scrutiny her body has been put under?! Anyway, under this picture of my stretch-marks and me sucking in… A girl commented “How can I get a flat stomach like you?” I quickly replied and said “I’m sucking in to the point I can’t even breath 😂 “ Which then so many of you gorgeous people said… “We want to see the real shot then!” With all of your encouragement, kind words and amazing messages (even sharing my content) has really given me the confidence to finally post just my reality 😍 it’s a liberating place to be at and you’re all the people who’ve helped me get here. So THANK YOU, I don’t deserve you all but I’m bloody glad I have you all supporting me. Even if you can relate to just one of my posts or one caption has helped you then it’s worth it for me. 💕 #selflove #normalisenormalbodies
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just bringing a bit of reality to your Saturday morning workout sesh 🔥💪🏼 ⠀ ⠀ Do you find yourself thinking one of these photos is “healthier” than other? Why is that?⠀ ⠀ I have known my body for decades. I have known that dieting and exercising towards this “ideal” body shape has lead to unhappiness and toxic cycles of binging. ⠀ ⠀ And so I know now that my body is meant to look this way. We are in homeostasis. We are happy. ⠀ ⠀ You know your body and you know best . You have no obligations to let the social misconceptions of others change who you are . ⠀ ⠀ We are absolutely enough. ⠀ ⠀ @gymshark #gifted ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #bodyacceptance #gymsharkwomen #gymshark #workoutoutfit #workoutclothes #matchingset #bikeshorts #backrolls #bighips #bodyneutrality #idealbody #antidiet #antidietculture #midsize #allbodiesaregoodbodies #effyourbeautystandards
Christine is another body-positive model that I follow, and you totally should, too. This picture shows how choosing clothing that fits well and hits you in the right spots can make a huge difference. Take the first pic of Georgie—she looks way smaller because her underwear is up on her hip bones, cinching her waist further. Here, Christine shows us the difference something as simple as pulling your pants up to your waist can make. You’ll probably notice all the celebs and influencers hike their pants high up on their hip bones for this same effect, too.
There are things on Instagram that I find really toxic, like creating a new body with Facetune. And there are photography tricks that I think are fine, because it’s at least your body, just showcased in a very specific way. But the bottom line is that none of these things are reality or what these people look like on the daily.
I hope this has been helpful and made you feel better about the content that’s being shoved down your throat. No matter how thin or perfect celebrities seem in photos, I promise you that it’s 99% bullsh*t—we didn’t even get into all the plastic surgery, makeup, hair stylists, and body makeup (yes, body makeup) that celebs also use!
What are little tricks and giveaways that tell you a photo isn’t real life? Do you compare yourself to the models, celebrities, and influencers you see on Instagram? Did you know how much goes into taking the “perfect” photo? How do you feel about the difference between posing vs. completely giving yourself a new waist via Facetune? LMK!
Image: Meital Anlen / Unsplash
I’ve got to be honest with you guys. I don’t like EDM. I don’t even really remember what EDM stands for. I feel like EDM pretty much only has its place in clubs and music festivals, both of which I hate. I hate crowds, I hate being hot, I hate people bumping into me, and God help you all if I’m forced to deal with all three at the same time. Even if you like festivals, you have to admit they are the dirtiest. I also primarily listen to old rock music, and if it’s from the ’90s, I consider that “newer”. Soooo I’m not particularly attached to David Guetta, nor do I really know who he is, aside from hearing his name here and there. According to his Wikipedia page, he’s an EDM DJ and that is currently all I know about him. In general, I’m opposed to DJs, mostly because every guy I knew in college also thought he was a DJ, and most of them are total sh*tshows. But David Guetta seems to be a pretty big name and have his sh*t together.
So I know that, and I know that he’s in great shape according to his latest Instagram post.
And apparently he’s 52?! Good for him! He’s in better shape than the twentysomething guys I know (you know, the pretend DJs). Except, unfortunately, this photo is full of lies and deceit. Not because David Photoshopped on his abs (which I don’t think he did, although it is very easy to do), but instead of changing up his diet to look more trim, David decided to use a little app we know and despise called Facetune. How do I know this, you ask?
Well. It’s f*cking obvious, that’s how.
It’s either that, or he owns some very strange furniture that all seems to bend around his body? Maybe he gets it at the same place the Kardashians do? He is actually missing full chunks of arm and stomach on the left side (since it’s a mirror selfie)! Also on on the left, is that a piece of equipment, wall, or part of the mirror? Whatever it is, it was straight until it got near his shoulder, and then it bent. Also, what is going on with those equipment wires near his missing stomach chunk? They’re all broken up? And what’s with that poster behind him? It looks like only the letters near his shoulder are italicized (or just bent) and then it goes back to normal by the “E”.
But the worst is, of course, the right side with those shelves. They start off straight until they get near his body, and then the entire thing curves horribly. And at the SAME angles as his stomach, weirdly enough! He really does have his own Kardashian vortex.
What is the point of being completely ripped at 52 and taking a gym selfie if you’re going to Facetune yourself anyway? C’mon man, it’s more impressive when it’s your actual body! David, if you’re going to take a gym selfie, don’t insult our intelligence by editing your bod. I’m not saying this is EDM’s fault, but I am saying that I haven’t seen any rockstars do this. This just reestablishes what I already learned in college: you should not trust DJs! Or maybe just men?
Are you surprised to see that men use Facetune the same way women do? Did you notice that VERY few comments on David’s picture even noticed the mistake? Why do you think someone who’s clearly in awesome shape would even bother with something like this? Do you know any men who Facetune?
Images: davidguetta / Instagram
Scheana Shay gets kind of a bad rap on Vanderpump Rules, even though people like to conveniently forget that she is the reason this show exists in the first place. (They need to put some respect on her name.) I recently rewatched all of VPR in preparation for the new season, and let me say, I really miss when Scheana had a personality and self-confidence that wasn’t based on everyone else’s approval of her. We’re kinda sorta getting some of that Scheana back, like with this week how she came ready with Max’s receipts of him being shady. But one area Scheana could stand to be a bit more unapologetically herself? Her Instagrams. Take a look at what I mean.
Scheana posted a sponcon ad for Netflix’s show The Circle (great show, BTW) where she posted a carousel of her first photo on Instagram ever and then a recent photo.
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Y’all here is my first photo on Instagram vs. one of me now for #CircleBackChallenge. I was just watching @thecirclenetflix and it made me think back to my early days on social media. A lot has changed, like the way I apply makeup/contour, but I’m still ME (no plastic surgery), which might not help me win #TheCircle—and that’s okay!! I want to see all of your social media beginnings, so I dare you to post your first photo using #CircleBackChallenge! @netflix #ad
The first thing I noticed was how 2012 this first photo is. But that’s not really the issue—the issue is that the second photo is so Facetuned that she does not even have a nose. And here’s the best part: HER CAPTION. She says she has changed her makeup and counter but she’s still “ME” (without plastic surgery). Like, yes, while she might not have gotten any plastic surgery, can you really claim that you’re being real when your face is so blurred that it lacks any sort of definition? Or even a nose? I know that everyone these days uses Facetune, but it’s misleading to use it and then claim you are being authentic, which is basically what’s happening here.
(Also, having plastic surgery or not has nothing to do with anyone’s chances of winning The Circle, but that’s neither here nor there.)
And even more concerning is the fact that this is not a one-off instance… a lot of her photos are like this.
Does it still count as “makeup/contour” if you just erase out your entire face in every single photo?
Anyway, back to the first photo in question.
Facetune that pops out immediately to me: she definitely enlarged her eyes, she airbrushed her skin so it’s completely blurry, she has NO NOSE, her head is blurred into her neck, her makeup was color enhanced (poorly) so she has orange splotches (or she began using Donald Trump’s makeup artist?), she made her lips bigger and blurry, and although she always has eyelash extensions, it looks like she painted fake eyelashes on with the app as well.
Sooooo what percentage of this is her actual face?
In case you didn’t know, here is what Scheana’s actual face looks like compared to her Facetune.
Look guys, she has a nose in real life! I’m not sure when looking like Voldemort became the desirable beauty standard, but alas, here we are. 2020 sure is a trip.
Scheana is gorgeous, and it legit makes me sad to see people edit out their own natural features like a f*cking nose because… they don’t like the way it looks? Society has told them it’s not okay to have one? I’m not sure what the reason is, but Scheana, do yourself a favor. Pull yourself up, tell everyone to f*ck off, and just be the you that helped land a show that is the best show on Bravo. And easy on the Facetune. You do not need it. Despite what you apparently think, Voldemort is not the epitome of female beauty.
Do you guys like Scheana? What do you think of celebrities claiming it’s just makeup and then warping all their features with Facetune? Why is everyone against having noses? What other celebs do you follow that are guilty of making their faces Voldemort chic? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Images: Instagram (@scheana); Tibrina Hobson / Stringer, Rodin Eckenroth (Getty Images); Giphy
We love Cardi B for many reasons: she’s badass, empowering, and no-bullsh*t. She is unapologetically herself and challenges the music industry’s male vs. female standards. I also really appreciate how honest and real she is about her life, whether it’s her past career as a stripper, or the amount of work she’s had done. I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but if you get it, especially as a role model in the industry, at least cop to it (*cough cough* Kardashians). However, you’d think a woman that has everything in the world—money, fame, power, youth, beauty—wouldn’t be insecure. Right? You would think. But the truth is we all have insecurities, and Cardi is no exception. That said, it really annoys me when someone acts like they’re so body positive and pro all body types and then does sh*t like this:
Hey girl. Nice hourglass figure. Cute outfit. Love the hair. Quick question, though. What’s going on with those curtains?
It’s just so weird, guys. Cardi found curtains that are in the exact same pattern as her body! She posed in front of them so perfectly. What a genius, curative move! And what a coincidence!
You know, it’s either that, or Cardi very poorly Facetuned her body. She pushed in her waist and thighs to make them look smaller. The lines of the curtains match up perfectly with her new, fake curves. If you guys are going to do this kind of editing, please check your backgrounds. It’s just sloppy.
Even better, maybe just get over yourself, be proud of your body, and don’t Facetune? Cardi has an insane body, regardless if it was purchased, so I honestly do not understand why she Facetunes herself. What is good enough for you people? I doubt she even changed that much; I’m sure the original photo was amazing. And in her haphazard editing, she also blurred and accidentally cut chunks off of parts of her body. Her waist is also blurred. I mean, what’s going on with that pointy side knee?
Cardi, we love you, but it really hurts to see you give in to societal pressure and make your body look thinner. There are so many people who look up to you, and Facetuning to be “perfect” tells all of us that our bodies aren’t good enough, either. I’m so over seeing this, guys. I can’t wait for Facetune to stop being trendy and for people to own their bodies.
This gives me trust issues. It’s also weird to me that a public figure who is constantly performing does this, because girl? We know what your body looks like. You don’t need to pretend to be super thin and look like an actual hourglass for your fans.
I don’t know about you guys, but it really makes me like a celebrity (or real person) a lot less if I know they’re doing this kind of stuff to their pictures. Especially such a strong female icon. It’s way cooler to put your real body, with curves, cellulite, acne, whatever, and own it. Do you agree? Does anyone like these edited pics? Do you edit your body in your posts? LMK!
Images: Instagram (@iamcardib); Giphy (1)
There are so many different kinds of Photoshop abuse. We show you a lot of celebrities’ toxic relationship with Facetune, photoshoots gone wrong, and occasionally missing/messed up body parts. But the one I’m gonna show you today you’ll probably remember because it was so hilariously bad. I mean, it wasn’t just a run-of-the-mill nose amputation that we usually see. This photo retoucher failed spectacularly. Which also makes me angry because this is a huge magazine, and how did you possibly get this job if you’re so lazy you can’t even do this correctly? How much did they pay you for this, sir? However, this image is an example of what magazines do all the time, they just usually remember to fix it first so you can’t tell. I’m speaking, of course, about the time Vanity Fair decided Reese Witherspoon and Oprah didn’t pose well enough for the probably 1000 photos they shot. So they fixed it. And made it a lot worse.
Here is the cover:
Come on children! What’s wrong with this picture? Whoever edited these photos seems to use the same ~*dangerous*~ editing method over and over: do whatever first and clean up later. And if you don’t pay attention to detail, it’s risky. Because:
So, I consider myself an expert on Reese’s work, mostly because I’ve seen Legally Blonde probably 50 times. And guys, I have to tell you, I always thought she had two legs? Vanity Fair then attempted to defend themselves, saying that what we’re seeing is actually just the lining of Reese’s dress.
While we would have loved the exclusive on @RWitherspoon's three legs, unfortunately it's just the lining of her dress. https://t.co/HJjvbc037S
— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) January 25, 2018
However, you can clearly see the top of Reese’s thigh, and the straight leg match perfectly. The dress lining even has what looks like a knee and a calf? It doesn’t look anything like dress lining!
Like no sorry, you done f*cked up. But here’s where it gets really good. Although VF tried to play off that the cover was not a mistake, they obviously used the same retoucher for all the other photos. Why you ask? Because this candid gem was later in the issue:
Again I ask you, what’s wrong with this picture?
So you’re telling me that while this retoucher did not give Reese three legs (although the inseam has its own knee, so sure Jan), he definitely gave Oprah three f*cking hands. It seems like his editing technique just sucks. Vanity Fair at least copped to this one:
As for @Oprah, how can we expect her to juggle it all with just two hands?
¯_(ツ)_/¯_/¯ (We are correcting this error online.) https://t.co/QNd74YtSTz
— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) January 25, 2018
The retoucher obviously just really enjoys giving everyone extra body parts. But in actuality, this happens very frequently in photo editing, it’s just normally cleaned up so you can’t tell. I mean, that’s like, what a professional does. And YES OFFENSE, Retoucher, because you probably made an insane amount of money for this catastrophic cover. So basically, here’s what happens. A photographer takes a ton of photos all in different poses. Especially with a big group, it’s hard to get everyone to look their best. So then they splice up each person for their most flattering pose between all of the images. I don’t even mind that they do this to some extent—like, if Reese is blinking in Oprah’s best shot, for example, swap Reese’s best face shot with the blinking one, and now it’s the best picture of both of them. That doesn’t even bother me, because it’s still her real face.
But what happened here is the retoucher seems to have this strange work flow where he piles on every option of arm, leg, etc, on different layers, and then chooses what one looks best. However, he forgot more than once to recheck his work, which is how he ended up making Reese a tri-ped and Oprah into an octopus. Check *clap* your *clap* work *clap*.
Also? What is Nicole Kidman leaning on? Does this not look super weird to you?
This practice, while super common, is also one of the many ways retouchers and magazines try to f*ck with us about what reality looks like. They rearrange everyone’s anatomy to make it look like perfect proportions, perfect angles, and perfect pose. The second photo, with Oprah’s three hands, looks like it’s supposed to be candid, and yet was edited so much so that they couldn’t even casually sit together without being dissected. It’s a room full of some of the most beautiful, strong, influential people in the world—why can’t they just take a photo with perfect lighting, perfect makeup, perfect staging, perfect outfits, and leave it as is? It still needs to be ripped apart limb by limb to be acceptable to us?
Are triple limbs now the unattainable beauty standard? What do you think of this practice? Why do magazines in particular edit already-beautiful people so hard? Who was this retoucher and how did they get this job? Did you know magazines edited their subjects so severely? LMK!
And guys, pleaseeeee send me your Photoshop Fails. See you next week!
Images: Vanity Fair; vanityfair (2) / Twitter
Another day, another celebrity delusionally telling themselves that the picture they post on Instagram is what they *really* look like. Tana Mongeau is an open Facetune offender. I mean, at least she admits it. But I still think it’s super toxic to edit your photos so much and project this scary, sex doll image. I mean, aren’t most of her fans teenagers? This is what they think women are supposed to look like? It’s just icky. I’m not against photo-editing, but Tana really just takes it way too far. Why even post pictures when that isn’t even what you look like? Also, it’s unclear what Tana actually does or why people watch her. Are any of you guys fans of hers? Please explain in the comments. Every time I see anything about her I just go, “Oh honey, no.” Tana seems needs Jesus and possibly Oprah.
So Tana was at the People’s Choice Awards (again I ask, really? Who invited her? Why?) and there were a lot of paparazzi photos taken. So Tana took a few of these photos and decided to um, enhance them, in her eyes. Also known as copy-and-pasted an entirely new face on herself.
Okay, Tana. Sure, Tana. That’s what you look like. Also, I REALLY LIKE how those candy wax lips we wore as a joke as children are now what’s considered attractive. Tell me Tana is not just wearing Wacko Wax lips. I mean, honestly.
Look, I just stuck the Wacko lips on her instead.
I see no difference.
Okay, so short list on this photo, she’s insanely airbrushed, her eyes are blown TF up, her makeup is pasted on, all her proportions are warped, and her nose looks super weird. Also, most notably, she doesn’t look anything like what the real-life Tana Mongeau looks like. That’s probably the biggest giveaway for an edited photo: when it doesn’t even look like your face.
But before the five people in the comments that are 14 years old and actually like her try to lay into me like, “it’s the lighting, she does look like this”, I have news for you. Unfortunately for Tana, she seems to forget that Getty Images are PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE. Meaning you can just look up any pap photos. For free. Unedited. (Now, you can’t legally download them unless you have a membership, but thankfully, we do.) Unless of course you’re the Kardashians, and pay the paparazzi to pre-edit your photos. But Tana apparently does not do this.
The best part is that her lips are still unfortunate. But the rest of her looks great! Like a pretty, human girl. Some of her edits she could just change in real life—okay, just wear darker eye makeup at the next event to make your eyes look bigger. Get your brows microbladed if you want them thicker. I just got my eyebrows microbladed as pre-chemo prep and they look amazing, could not recommend higher if you have sparse brows. But what is with the entire new head/face/eye color? Why give herself an entirely new jawline? It’s like how James Charles always gives himself a blockhead on purpose. Children, what is you doing?
The differences here are very obvious, but here you are anyway:
And she even removed her ribs and shoulder. Look guys, we all have insecurities, but things like your jawline, your face shape, your weight, your eye color… these are what make you look like you. You can’t give yourself a new head and be like “IT’S ME! I’M SO PRETTY!” It just does not work that way. And it really just makes you look sad.
To sum up: don’t give yourself a brand-new head and call it an edit. Microblading looks amazing and is a good decision if your brows suck or you’re about to be bald from cancer treatment. You should not be looking to Tana Mongeau for inspiration or self-esteem.
And now, a lesson in why people suck and celebrities feel forced to edit the sh*t out of themselves in the first place:
Someone attacked Queen Nastassia Bianca Schroeder for having… feet? Apparently Stassi’s feet look too old, according to a fan. Wtf is wrong with people? It’s not enough to have unattainable beauty standards for our faces, torsos, butts, boobs, etc… now we have to worry about our feet? Stassi’s comment was the best, though—but really, do they expect her to Photoshop her feet? Everyone needs to lay off picking apart what celebs actually look like without all these crazy filters and edits. This sh*t right here is why we’ve shifted to such a gross overly edited culture. We need to embrace people for showing their actual looks. Also, it’s just her feet and they look like feet! I mean, F*CK OFF, people.
What do you think of celebrities that just smack on a new head on their photos? Do you appreciate us calling out the fakeness of the editing we all see on social media? Does it encourage you to edit less when you can see how obvious/bad it looks? Would you ever edit your feet? WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE TANA MONGEAU? LMK!
Images: Getty Images; tanamongeau, commentsbybravo / Instagram