There are a few things in life I know to be certain: death, taxes, and that every Sunday, without fail, my Instagram feed will be flooded with pictures of newly engaged girls in jean jackets.
But this isn’t your typical jean jacket. It’s a ~cool~ jean jacket: usually the classic, slightly ripped blue style, but embroidered with “Mrs. ,” and embellished with a handful of fake pearls. You know, for good measure.
Some visual aid in case you’re living under a rock and have no idea what I’m talking about.
It’s not exactly a new trend—if anything, it’s actually turning into somewhat of a rite of passage for the newly engaged. But betches truly love this almost as much as they love their Stephanie Gottlieb engagement rings.
Here’s how it goes down: A friend of the bride-to-be will secure the goods ahead of the big day. You can definitely get a custom one on Etsy, but everyone knows the best ones come from word-of-mouth designer referrals. What, did you think the soon-to-be-fiancé wasn’t texting 20 of his girlfriend’s closest friends to make sure they were on standby for the engagement party? I mean, someone’s gotta make sure she has her nails done.
Once they’ve had a minute to process that yes, this is actually happening, the future bride will take approximately 342 pictures highlighting the back of the jacket and the new rock on her finger. Her friends will all likely post similar variations of the exact same photo on their Stories, tag each other, rinse, and repeat. Bonus points if it’s a boomerang, although truth be told, I thought we left boomerangs at Loopy Doopy in 2016. But I digress.
And look, I’m not trying to completely call out the jackets. If anything, I’m actually pretty fascinated by them—to say nothing of the fact that we’ve been noticing this trend since *checks notes* June 2017. It’s unclear when and where the trend originated from, but what I do know is that if whoever started it got a dollar for every time a bride-to-be wore one of the jackets in question, they could pay for a wedding at The Plaza without a second thought.
Ultimately, it’s your party and you can cry or wear the same jean jacket everyone else does if you want to. All I’m asking for is just, like, a *hint* more creativity and originality. I’m certainly not trying to be the voice of my generation here, but maybe, just maybe, it’s time we switch it up a little bit. There’s a list of things we’re leaving behind in the pandemic—hello, sourdough bread—and I don’t know about you, but I think the jacket should be on it.
I also hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s only a matter of time before The Engagement Jean Jacket™ falls into the cheugy category. And while we’re certainly not going to start taking fashion advice from the generation that ate Tide Pods, I think we owe it to ourselves to not look like every cookie-cutter bride on social media, don’t you? Our skinny jeans and Chevron prints are typing…
Here’s my proposal, no pun intended: Let’s try out a bomber jacket, or a crewneck sweatshirt, or even a puffer jacket by the time it’s too cold out to feel your face again. Y2K fashion is also obviously making a major comeback, so imagine getting your future last name embroidered on a Juicy Couture tracksuit instead. Pretty sure you could break the internet with that one, although whether that’s for a good or bad reason is up for debate.
If you love the jacket, though, you have this random stranger on the internet’s blessing to go full-speed ahead with it. It’s cute and probably pretty practical, even though you’ll wear it approximately one time. Just don’t come crying to me when all of your engagement photos look identical to all the other girls who read this website.
Images: Hollyedwards7 / Shutterstock.com
‘Tis the season to get engaged, amiright? Just about two weeks ago, my fiancé (still feels weird typing that) proposed to me and I’ve been over the moon ever since. I’ve had more people reach out to me in this short time period than I have in my entire life combined, and while most of the interactions are super fun and positive, there are some repeated questions popping up that are simply getting on my nerves. While most of these questions are asked innocently, they’ve gotten old quickly, so here’s the 101 on questions to *please* stop asking newly engaged couples.
1. When And Where Is The Wedding?
Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about the wedding too. I’ve been dreaming about this sh*t since I was a little girl. That being said, it’s almost mind-boggling how many people have asked me WHEN the wedding is. Ma’am, I got engaged one week ago. If you think in seven days’ time I toured multiple venues, picked the venue and booked it, you’re buggin. What’s even more fun is when I say “I’m not sure yet” and it’s followed up with a, “well you should really get on that because weddings are likeeee booking into 2022“. Thank you, I know. Your added stress is not necessary, especially when you’re just stating the painfully obvious. Sorry if this sounds cold, but on behalf of all the newly engaged people out there, it had to be said.
2. Are You Stressed About COVID-19 Impacting Your Wedding?
Short answer, DUH. Given the uncertainty of the virus, I’m absolutely nervous about COVID-19 impacting my wedding. That being said, I find this question oddly irritating. As someone who had the virus myself, there are so many more important things to worry about being impacted by COVID-19 than a giant party. I’m nervous for my family, my friends, my loved ones, our world as a whole. While I’m less worried about the virus impacting my wedding day and more overwhelmed that it will result in me getting married two to three years from now, it feels like a slightly obnoxious inquiry. If COVID-19 doesn’t make you stressed, you scare me.
3. Who Is in Your Bridal Party?
There are two parts to this question. It typically starts with, “So, who’s going to be your Maid of Honor???” followed by, “Actually, who is in your bridal party in general?” When my family asks me this question, I’m cool with it. They’ve watched me grow up, they know my friends well, and they are genuinely curious. The problem is when *others* ask. If I haven’t asked my bridesmaids yet, why would I tell YOU who they’re going to be? Half the people asking are subtly hoping to be in the bridal party and the other half are asking just to be nosy and get the scoop. This question makes me super uncomfortable because I’d never want someone to feel left out, but at the end of the day, it’s my business and my business only.
4. Are You Going on a Diet? Are You Getting a Personal Trainer?
This is perhaps my LEAST favorite question of all because it’s just genuinely rude. I’ve been a bit taken aback by the amount of people who have asked me this, because I just can’t wrap my head around thinking it’s appropriate. To be honest, I don’t know the answer. If I decide that I want to tone my arms for my dream dress, maybe I will. If I decide I want to change the way I eat for health and wellness purposes, maybe I will. That being said, it will most certainly not be influenced by anyone else trying to pressure me to do so. This question is tacky and unnecessary and I know my fellow fiancé(e)s out there will agree.
5. So Like, How Much Was Your Ring?
On the theme of tacky… this question is just beyond me. There is a zero percent chance someone has good intent when asking this question. You’re either asking because you think it looks expensive and you want the tea, or because you think it looks cheap and… you want the tea. If you hit me with the “DiD hE sPeNd ThReE mOnThS sAlArY” please go away. I’m in love with my ring and that is the only thing that matters to me. That being said, if you’ve complimented my ring without asking about the cost, I appreciate you. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t basking in glory from any/all positive feedback so… KEEP IT COMING!!!!! (Put that under the category under things you should say to a newly engaged person. Accolades are always allowed.)
6. Am I Invited?
If you have to ask, it’s probably a no. Weddings are expensive. Like… really expensive. Would you treat me to a $200 dinner? No? Then I probably won’t do the same for you. Half kidding, but I personally am not trying to recreate My Big Fat Greek Wedding, so chances are my list will be narrowed down to the real ones. This question falls under the category of super uncomfortable because I hate leaving anyone out and, despite my evil sarcastic tone throughout this article, I actually love to make people feel warm and welcome, so by default I’ll feel guilty about those who don’t make the cut. Long story long, please don’t ask me this question, because it WILL keep me up at night.
7. Can I Give You Some Advice?
This question is super circumstantial, because some people offer fantastic advice and it’s extremely appreciated. Advice about how to conquer visiting multiple venues and what to look out for? Yes please. Advice about how to budget and what is and isn’t worth splurging on? I’m all ears. The problem is, people typically offer advice that is opinion-based rather than fact-based, and that’s where it gets hairy. I don’t want your advice on things personal to me, because it’s my wedding. When it’s your special day, you call the shots. When it’s mine, let me enjoy. (LMK if this is giving bridezilla vibes so I can stop before I start.)
Bonus: Questions I Enjoy
In order to redeem myself for all the spiciness above, I want to include some questions that I enjoy getting. Those exist too, I swear. I’m happy to answer questions about the engagement because quite honestly, I still get butterflies. How did he ask? Easy, I have a response saved in my notes that I can send along to anyone and everyone who wants to know. Were you surprised? Excited? Nervous? Yes, all of the above. What kind of style is your ring? More than happy to answer this (mine is emerald) and I’m also happy to answer personal questions about the ring if they are productive and helpful for my fellow future brides (or friends looking to get engaged soon). What is your dream dress? Oh, I’m glad you asked… let me show you my Pinterest board. You get the point.
If you take away one thing from this piece, it’s to be respectful of others privacy and to know what questions are appropriate vs. uncomfortable. Pre-engagement I likely asked half of the above questions myself, so we’re all learning here. The more you know!
Images: Scott Broome / Unsplash; Giphy (9)
As the short work week winds down and spiked eggnog for breakfast takes over, there’s one thing on the minds of not-yet-engaged gals: “Will this be the holiday season that I finally get a ring?” Even though the pandemic is putting weddings on the backburner, engagements are not slowing down just because we’re stuck at home. If you’re finding yourself getting more and more desperate with your not-so-subtle “I want to get engaged” hinting tactics, you’re not alone. According to a recent study conducted by, well, us and WeddingWire, lots of people are giving their partner little nudges that they want that ring.
We teamed up with WeddingWire to conduct the #DropAHint Study to see if we were the only ones who’ve been hinting about being ready for a proposal since like, the first date. Over 500 women aged 18-29 from around the U.S. revealed how they’ve been letting their S.O.s know they’re ready for the next step. “We’ve seen that many of our audience members aren’t shy when it comes to letting their partners know exactly what type of rings they want and when they want to get engaged,” said Aleen Kuperman-Dreksler, CEO and co-founder of Betches.
So, behold: Literal proof you’re not insane for changing your S.O.’s screensaver to a picture of the engagement ring you want. Or at least, you’re not like, more insane than the rest of us.
Hint Like Your Engagement Depends On It
Basically, the #DropAHint Study looked at how directly (or indirectly) couples share their proposal and/or engagement ring preferences with their partners, and it’s eye-opening, to say the least. Of the couples surveyed who have already gotten engaged or married, 35% said they discussed the proposal in advance. From TikTok wish lists to Pinterest boards to casually mentioning ring preferences and even repeating the words “engagement rings” into their partner’s phones for ads, these hint methods are getting majorly clever.
As for how often people are hinting, in a recent Betches Brides poll over 60% said they plan to drop hints weekly to monthly. In total, about 0ne-third expect to drop more than 15 hints before they’re actually proposed to, which means gone are the days of silently suffering for years while your lazy S.O. takes his or her sweet-ass time.
Talking About The Proposal Is Normal
While hinting you want to get engaged is one thing, outright saying it is another. And according to our study, it’s actually super common (not to mention mature. Healthy communication and coming to a mutual decision that you both want to get married? Yes, please). Out of the people who envision themselves getting engaged within the next few years, 72% said they’ve already discussed it with their partner and 39% have even chatted about what their future wedding might look like.
When it comes to the actual proposal, 14% say that know exactly how and where they want it to take place, so if you have every detail planned in your mind, don’t feel absurd. Just make sure to talk to your partner and/or adjust your expectations so you’re not disappointed if it doesn’t go down exactly how you dreamed.
Talking About The Ring Is *Also* Normal
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Going hand in hand with an engagement is the ring, and the majority (over 70%) want some bling included in the proposal. Of those, 25% know exactly what they want their ring to look like and 20% have already hinted at their preferences (and 21% say they plan to hint before their S.O. gets down on one knee). And while there are a lot of components to an engagement ring, the most popular to hint at are style and setting (55%), cut (51%), size/carat (48%), and color (39%). Additionally, 38% have dropped hints about what they don’t want. Taking it a step further, 25% have decided to have open, honest conversations about what they want in a ring and have outright told their S.O.s as well as shown them pictures.
The Holidays = Engagement Season
If you’re trying to figure out when, exactly, you might get engaged (if you’re not part of the group that already has it all planned out, that is), it looks like “engagement season” is shifting. In fact, according to the wedding pros, there’s a chance you might find a ring wrapped under the tree or presented to you in celebration of the New Year.
“Although some may think spring or summer are the most popular times for engagements, according to the 2020 WeddingWire Newlywed Report, seven out of ten of the most popular days to propose are in December, with Christmas Day, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day ranked as the three most popular,” Jeffra Trumpower, senior creative director at WeddingWire told Business Wire. Whether it’s all the engagement ring ads that run during the holidays or just that fact that you’ve been stuck together for nine months and have been hinting endlessly, there will definitely be a proposal surge at the end of 2020 and the start of 2021.
TL;DR: Hinting Is Not A Bad Thing
The point is, waiting around for the person you’re dating to decide whether or not you should get married is, frankly, absurd. This is 2020, and while the world is basically one giant dumpster fire, that doesn’t mean your relationship has to be. If you think you’re ready to get married, that’s a decision you and your partner can make together. It’s fair for you to talk to your S.O. about wanting to make things official. In fact, it’s worked for at least 35% of responders. They talked about proposal preferences prior to getting engaged and now they’re all happily in love with rings on their fingers.
When it comes to your relationship, your engagement, and your marriage, the only thing that matters is it works for you as a couple. Whether that means you quietly wait for a proposal, hint like your life depends on it, collaboratively talk about it, or bypass the whole engagement and elope on the spot, as long as it feels authentic to your relationship, it’s the right move. Now, bring on the holiday proposals and filtered ring shots, because it’s beginning to look a lot like engagement season.
Images: Zelle Duda / Unsplash; Giphy (3)
Did anyone else know that the months between November and February are engagement season? To me, it feels like every Sunday is engagement season, just based on the sheer amount of engagement posts I see on every social media channel. But just because I’ve been single
and fabulous since 2014 doesn’t mean I don’t love to kick back at the end of a long day and read up on my bridal content—especially The Knot, which just released its annual Jewelry & Engagement Study. As you can guess from the title of the study, it’s all about proposing and the jewelry that accompanies it. After reading and internalizing the study, I’ve deduced that proposals nowadays, especially for millennials, are all about personalization. People aren’t just opening a ring box to reveal a diamond as they kneel for a few seconds anymore. Now, it’s a whole big thing and, I mean, good? You’re asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you, so making it as personal and thoughtful as possible seems like a step in the right direction here.
One important thing I noticed from The Knot study is that most people getting engaged today are between the ages of 25 (cool cool cool cool, just kill me now) and 34. If you’re wondering what constitutes “most people,” it’s a whopping 67%. And if you’re wondering how old the proposers are, 38% of them are 25–29 and 27% are 30–34 years old. Just judging off the ages of the people I know who are getting engaged, this is not that surprising, but still slightly depressing for me, a very single person.
But before we get into the way most proposals are going down, let’s talk about the jewelry. According to the study, “More than 85% purchase new rings for the occasion, with 45% being custom designed.” So I guess holding on to your great-grandma’s family heirloom just isn’t what most people are doing these days. I can imagine it feels great to wear a ring that symbolizes you and your partner’s love for each other and to know that no one else has the same one. I remember that episode of Sex and the City when Charlotte proposed to herself (yikes) and then marched right on over to Tiffany to pick out her ring and claimed it was the most romantic experience of her life. I mean, I definitely wouldn’t say no to a Tiffany diamond, but in my and other millennials’ opinion, it’s more romantic to say yes to a ring that your S.O. designed with you in mind. Speaking of, more than 7 in 10 proposees say they were “somewhat” involved in picking out or buying their ring, which I support. I’d rather have more input in the piece of jewelry I will be wearing every day for the rest of my life than be 100% surprised. 78% of proposees dropped hints about what they wanted their ring to look like (hopefully, not subtle hints, because we know men can be, shall we say, oblivious?), and more than 70% said it’s important to see the ring in person before buying it.
When it comes to sourcing ideas for the perfect ring, the study found, “the majority (81%) of proposees turn to social media for engagement ring inspiration.” This makes sense, given that just about every other aspect of a wedding is sourced through social media. How did people get ideas for weddings before Pinterest?? Serious question.
And since the first thing I wanted to know was how much these bespoke diamonds are costing people, the average cost of an engagement ring is $5,900—though it’s dependent on region. If you’re in the Mid-Atlantic, for example, couples spend on average $7,500. And, just as every aspect of living is cheaper in the Southeast, you can expect to spend less on the ring too, with the average cost being $5,400. But perhaps most surprisingly is that 94% of people who proposed paid for the ring on their own, a statistic I will direct every Boomer family member to whenever they try to call millennials spoiled.
Speaking of Instagram, it may seem like all couples today do is post those selfies with “I said yes / Can’t wait to marry my best friend” captions, but a surprising amount of couples (51%) get engaged in private, and 40% get engaged in public, which is down from 45% last year. My Instagram would indicate otherwise, but ok, I’ll take it. To quote the study, “This year, those proposing spend an average of three months planning hyper-personalized, intimate moments to ask their significant other to marry them. While more than half (51%) of proposals occur in private, nearly one in five (18%) take place in locations significant to the couple’s past, like the couple’s favorite date spot or the location they first met.” Yes to all of this. Coming up with a way to ask someone you love to spend the rest of their valuable time on Earth with you should take a few months of planning! Even if it’s a low-key proposal, it’s worth putting some thought into.
To wrap it up with a classic summary of what have we learned: Instagram (shockingly) isn’t reality, at least when it comes to wedding proposals. The majority of proposals occur in private, take three months to plan, and involve a custom ring to seal the deal. Of course, if some of these elements are not your vibe, that’s completely okay. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or that your proposal or ring is less special than your friend’s; it just means that you have different tastes.
Images: Gift Habeshaw / Unsplash; Giphy (2)
So you got engaged, the proposal was perfect, and the ring is everything you asked for (because you helped pick it out). Now you’re going to be spending the next few weeks/months staring at your hand constantly and angling your hand just so in photos so you can not-so-subtly show off your ring. And you’re probably never going to want to take it off, which makes sense, but in order to keep it in mint condition, you’re going to have to remove it from your finger on certain occasions. They say diamonds are forever, but they won’t be if you’re not taking proper care of your ring. We’ve asked wedding and jewelry experts Kelly Villarreal from Ada Diamonds and Mary Claire Newcomb from Here Comes the Guide about when you should be taking off your ring and how to keep those diamonds shining bright.
1. Working Out
Kelly Villarreal suggests that when breaking a sweat and handling machinery in the gym, it’s best to have your precious ring removed… even if that means its presence can’t be used to deter creepy gym bros from hitting on you. She explains, “Lifting heavy objects or pushing into your hands can put pressure on the base of your ring, causing it to compress or bend out of shape. In extreme circumstances this can lead to fractures and breaks in the metal.” Yes, this even applies to those of us who don’t identify as Crossfit queens or bodybuilders. No amount of calories burned is worth a dent in a band that is supposed to last you forever. Not to mention the fact that your fingers tend to swell after an intense sweat sesh. Just put it in a safe place before you leave the house, and be thankful your attempt at a Kayla Itsines workout didn’t cost you thousands.
2. When Your Hands Will Be Wet Or Submerged
My wedding ring fell off in the shower. Instantly broke down. I’m just a skeleton with skin now. Take care of your health folks.
— Special Agent Smith (@ItsMrSmith) June 2, 2019
Villarreal emphasizes that it is very important to be mindful of your ring when, “doing the dishes, doing laundry, cooking, waitressing/bartending, house cleaning, or swimming.” She explains, “cleaning products and harsh chemicals (such as chlorine) can cause build up on diamonds and dull the polish/rhodium from the metal of your ring more quickly.” Ideally, you should try to milk the fact that you’re donning a precious gem 24/7 and use it as an excuse to avoid the housework that might endanger it…but when that excuse stops working (and the stack of dishes in the sink start driving you crazy), store it in a safe place.
The diamond needs its beauty sleep just as much as you do. Villarreal warns that when sleeping, “the prongs of your ring can catch on your sheets, or rings can be knocked against things in your sleep, damaging prongs or causing diamonds to become loose or fall out.” There’s really no point in risking damage to your ring for the sake of leaving it on while you get your eight hours—one of the only times you won’t be able to show it off. Plus, we all read that story about the woman who swallowed her engagement ring in her sleep, right? Let that be a cautionary tale for you.
4. When Applying Lotions Or Cosmetics
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Just like other chemicals, cosmetics and other products can cause your ring to lose its shine. Villarreal explains that when applying products with your ring on, “it can wear away the polish and rhodium more quickly.” She adds, “Lotions and cosmetics also result in build up over time that dulls the look of your diamonds, or in cases of small melee diamonds, can completely cover over stones.” And finally, she advises, “Keeping your ring away from these products, along with regular cleaning, can keep rings sparkling brilliantly for much longer.” Truthfully, I’m probably never going to remember to take my ring off before applying hand lotion, because I do that approximately 50 times a day. But knowledge is power. The more you know, and all that.
5. When Wearing Gloves
If you’re going to listen to any of this advice, listen to this. You wear gloves more often than you’d think, especially if you live in a place like New York, where winter lasts for more than half the year (or so it seems). Mary Claire Newcomb declares, “Ski gloves and rings are archenemies, since your ring size naturally decreases when it’s cold outside—leading to a loose ring that can easily slide off.” I’m going to go ahead and equate “ski gloves” to regular-ass winter gloves because I’m not bougie enough to go skiing often enough to have special gloves just for that. And it’s not just when wearing cold-weather gloves that you should take your ring off; in addition to winter gloves, Newcomb says, “Gardening gloves can accidentally pull an engagement ring off upon removal.” She adds, “And for those in the medical profession who wear latex gloves, oftentimes the prongs of the ring get bent over time as they get caught on the latex material.” I guess this means that I’m never wearing gloves again. The idea of keeping my engagement ring in a jacket pocket for the sake of wearing gloves seems far more dangerous than subjecting my hands to the winter cold.
6. When It’s Not Insured
Your diamond ring is probably expensive, and just as you would treat anything valuable, get insurance! Newcomb recommends, “Look into homeowner’s insurance, renter’s insurance, or straight-up jewelry insurance for that baby. It’s super inexpensive and a lifesaver when needed!” Like, don’t be an idiot. Just think about all of the things you have insurance for that you care much less about! I don’t know about you, but I would happily forego dental visits for the foreseeable future if it meant protecting my new diamond. If Taylor Swift can insure her legs, you can surely insure your engagement ring.
7. When It Doesn’t Fit Properly And/Or Is Damaged
I know you want to wear your ring, but if it doesn’t fit properly, it’s an easy fix and you’ll get back to wearing it ASAP, promise. Newcomb explains, “Whether it’s too big or too small, you can damage an ill-fitting ring (or even worse, lose it) quite easily.” She points out, “if something is already amiss with your ring, don’t take chances—just take it to a jeweler as soon as you notice it. Wearing it could make a simple fix a more difficult one in the end.” If you are anticipating a proposal from your hopeful forever-plus-one, take this as a cue to make sure he knows your ring size (or, in the case of my boyfriend, realizes that rings have sizes). If you’re too traditional to help him pick out the ring,
you shouldn’t be fine, but at the very least help the guy out by leaving some of your rings around the house so he has something to reference.
8. When You’re Traveling
It takes a lot to take off your engagement ring but safety and security should always take priority. There are two main reasons to take your ring off while traveling: potential damage and unwanted attention. If you’re traveling on a bachelorette party, chances are you’re going to be getting a lil’ too drunk, making your ring a liability. Keep in mind, most insurance companies will only let you take out one major claim so don’t waste it on something as preventable as this. Traveling foreign countries is another time you’ll want to leave your ring at home. You’re inadvertently drawing attention as a tourist, don’t give someone a reason to make you their target.
Images: Jad Limcaco /Unsplash; @ItsMrSmith/Twitter; betchesbrides / Instagram (2)
If that title doesn’t say it all …
As the internet is the gift that keeps on giving, we continue to find absolutely incredible stories about when absurdity meets weddings. This week’s ridiculous story comes from California, where a woman’s night terrors took a less sweaty and more ER-tinged turn.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Jenna Evans detailed that fun time that she literally swallowed her engagement ring in her sleep in a Facebook post that’s gone viral. Read that back again slowly. She actually, literally, had such nightmares fueling her sleep that she SWALLOWED HER ENGAGEMENT RING.
“So, in case you missed it, I swallowed my engagement ring in my sleep on Tuesday night. I actually remember doing it, but I thought I was dreaming, so I went back to sleep. On Wednesday morning, I realized my ring was not on my hand and had to wake Bob Howell up and tell him that I swallowed my engagement ring. I don’t think he believed me right away. We laughed pretty hard for about an hour and a half, called my mom, laughed until we were crying, googled ‘do other adults swallow rings” because kids do it all the time, but apparently it’s less common for adults.”
Let’s all pause for laughter here. I admire this girl for actually TELLING her fiancé that she swallowed her engagement ring, because I think I would have died of embarrassment first. Let’s continue.
“I went to urgent care where I struggled to explain why I was there, because I was laughing/crying so hard. The doctor ordered an Xray and seemed pretty shocked when she walked back in with a second doctor and showed me that sure enough, my ring was right there in my stomach! They called a gastroenterologist and decided it would be best NOT to let nature take its course. (Thank God) Before I left, she recommended seeing a sleep specialist as well.
Bobby took me to the GI doctor where I got to tell a whole new group of doctors and nurses that yes, I swallowed my engagement ring. At this point, I could definitely feel it in my guts, it was starting to really hurt and make us nervous. They decided an upper endoscopy was just the thing and said don’t worry its not big deal, but please sign this release form just in case you die.
Then I cried a lot because I would be SO MAD if I died. I waited a long time for that damn engagement ring and I WILL marry Bobby Howell DAMNIT. “
This girl GETS me. Like, you finally found the guy, got the ring, and are literally planning your dream wedding. I would be PISSED if I died and didn’t get to check that sh*t off my to-do life list.
So, Did She Die?
No, she obviously didn’t die, because she wrote about the story on Facebook—and thank God, because this story def makes for something to tell and re-tell her kids and grandkids for years to come. “Remember that time mommy ate her engagement ring while dreaming? Yeah, that was hilarious.”
“So they push the sleepy drugs, and right as I started to feel that wave of warm and fuzzy sleep I said to the doctors, Bobby would LOVE this. Everything went great, they found my ring just beyond my stomach in my intestines, retrieved it and gave it to Bobby, not me. ?
Apparently I don’t do great with anesthesia because I came out of it hysterically crying and was totally inconsolable. They got me out of there as quickly as possible and gave us a list of what I could eat (soup, crackers, light sandwich, yogurt etc.) So I demanded that Bobby take me to In n Out and Chickfila. He loves me, so he drove me through In n Out and got me a double-double, mustard fried with cheese fries and a chocolate shake but put his foot down and said no to Chickfila. I probably cried as I stuffed cheese fries in my mouth. I asked for my ring, he said no. Thank God I had that chocolate shake. “
Again, this girl is my spirit animal. I, too, would’ve broken down into hysterics had no one bought me Chick-fil-a after this f*cking ordeal. Like, I ate a diamond and had to BE PUT TO SLEEP to get it out again. That’s a rough day, no matter how you look at it. (Although I will not publicly support blatantly disobeying your doctor’s orders.)
“Bobby finally gave my ring back this morning – I promised not to swallow it again, we’re still getting married and all is right in the world.”
Wow, like, talk about a great story, guys. That was a wild ride from start to finish. I hope her promises mean something and she really does her best not to eat her ring again. I assume the doctors would find that super entertaining, though.
Wait, What Was She Dreaming About?
Thankfully, Jenna has also filled us in on exactly WHAT she was dreaming about that caused her to swallow her (apparently) giant engagement ring:
“**update- for inquiring minds, I was having a dream that Bobby and I were in a very sketchy situation involving a high speed train and bad guys (I have very exciting and vivid dreams) and he told me I had to swallow my ring to protect it; so I popped that sucker off, put it in my mouth and swallowed it with a glass of water riiiight about the time I realized what I was doing. I assumed this too was a dream, because WHO ACTUALLY SWALLOWS THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING, so I went back to sleep.
I also had no idea this would go viral – please be kind. I didn’t do it on purpose and I’m not trying to change the world here, just share a funny story and hopefully a good belly laugh. Pun intended.
Ring is lovingly made by Simone Jewelry Designs in Houston, Tx. Jewels so lovely, you could eat them. But dont – trust me on this.”
Dearest Jenna, we hope you have an amazing wedding, honeymoon, and marriage. Maybe don’t sleep with your ring on anymore—just saying.
Images: Scott Webb, Unsplash; Giphy (2)
If you’ve been sleeping too well lately and need some fresh nightmare fuel, you’ve come to the right place. When I read this proposal story, my jaw literally fell to the ground. It’s truly so bad. Honestly, I’m not really into extra proposals in the first place, but usually I can at least smile and nod and say how cute they are. Maybe hot air balloons aren’t my thing, but I try not to judge. Except today. Today I’m judging.
In 2019, it’s really not strange to love true crime. We even have a podcast about it, and there are literally a million documentaries on Netflix and other streaming services. With that being said, I’m not a fan of this trend of fetishizing crime and killers. There’s a big difference between being interested in serial killers and getting horny when you think about them.
Our bride-to-be today is a fellow true crime lover, but apparently she’s in the latter camp who takes things a little too far. She posted on Facebook about her proposal, where it quickly got shared in wedding shaming groups, which is where I found it. Yes, I am in multiple wedding shaming Facebook groups. No, I will not be answering any further questions.
(The white section on the right is where the couple posted a selfie and a photo of the ring, which I blocked out because my therapist says I need to be kinder to people.)
I’m sorry, I need a f*cking minute. I don’t like one bit of what’s happening in this proposal story. First off, if a man EVER tried to wake me up at 4:30 in the morning, me murdering him would be the next big true crime miniseries. To be honest, even if there is an intruder in the house, please just let me sleep. Maybe it’s my time to go. All I know is that I’m not meant to be awake at 4:30am.
But aside from the sh*tty timing here, the real issue is him LYING ABOUT AN INTRUDER IN THE HOUSE. If a man ever, ever, EVER did this to me, I truly don’t even know how I would react. All I know is that I certainly would not end up engaged to this man. He would probably end up dead, or at least seriously wounded. I just can’t even fathom that someone would think this is a good idea, and that someone else would be equally excited to be proposed to in this manner.
Me reading this entire deranged Facebook post:
And then my first question:
I’d also like to point out that having that many candles on the floor seems like a fire hazard, but these two probably have an arson fantasy that they’re just waiting for the honeymoon to try out. To each their own, but I am not a fan of this whole proposal story. At least these two found each other, and may they have a long, happy life full of intruder scares.
Images: Gift Habeshaw / Unsplash; Facebook; Giphy
Yay, engagement season is upon us. Break out the wine and self-loathing and prepare to see no less than 10 engagements on your combined social media channels. If you’re the one getting engaged and are dropping hints left and right for your idiot partner to pick up, it may be time to explore options outside the normal engagement ring, i.e. not necessarily a diamond. Don’t @ me—if a sapphire ring is good enough for Kate Middleton, it’s good enough for you. Let’s explore some diamond alternatives, shall we?
One of the four precious stones (along with rubies, sapphires, and diamonds), emeralds are the birthstone for May, super green, and perfect for the unique betch. JFK actually proposed to OG Betch, Jackie, with an emerald ring. Word of warning, though—emeralds are softer than diamonds, rubies, and other stones, so be careful which setting you choose.
ShyGems 1.5 Carat Round Classic Emerald and Diamond Vintage Engagement Ring
Princess Diana chose her 12-carat sapphire ring from a jewelry collection available to common folk, but it’s still arguably the most well-known engagement ring ever—especially now that Kate Middleton is sporting it. Sapphires are said to promote tranquility and symbolize faithfulness, so they’re a nice choice for a ring signifying that you’re going to forever put up with the same person. They’re typically blue, but they can come in green, white, pink, and even yellow. They’re also super durable, so they’re good for those of you prone to slamming your hand in drawers.
Miadora Signature Collection 10k White Gold Sapphire and 1/8ct TDW Diamond 3-stone Infinity Engagement Ring
Moissanite is a gemstone that literally came from space à la meteorites, so if you’re v into your horoscope and the phases of the moon and its effects on whether you’re being a psycho or not, this could be the stone for you. Naturally occurring moissanite is super rare, so a lot of what you’ll find today is lab created. However, it’s nearly as hard as a diamond and can be cut well enough to fool everyone. Plus, it’s cheaper and shinier, so yay!
Brilliance Five Stone Moissanite Engagement Ring In White Gold (7.5 Mm)
4. Lab-Grown Diamonds
Okay so this doesn’t technically fall under diamond alternatives, but it does in the sense that lab-grown diamonds are not your traditional diamonds. If you aren’t super pumped about blood diamonds and are doubtful about your rock being conflict-free, it could be time to explore lab-grown diamonds. They’re usually about 15 to 20 percent cheaper than natural diamonds and chemically are EXACTLY the same. The biggest difference is that they aren’t billions of years old and weren’t found in a mine by an underpaid worker; they were grown in a lab by nerds. Clean Origin is a company that launched earlier this year, and the majority of their lab-grown diamond rings are 30 percent cheaper than their natural diamond counterparts. They’re graded exactly the same way, are just as gorgeous, and are, still, literally, a REAL DIAMOND FOR A FRACTION OF THE PRICE COME ON PEOPLE.
Clean Origin Petite Delicate Halo Ring
Rubies can actually be just as expensive as diamonds. #Themoreyouknow . Sarah Ferguson, kind of former Duchess, had a ruby engagement ring from Prince Andrew. Mark Zuckerburg, reptilian overlord, proposed with a three-stone ring with a ruby at the center flanked by a diamond on each side. Rubies are said to symbolize passion and love with their rich red color (aww). They’re also pretty tough and can survive being banged around at SoulCycle or while washing dishes.
JeenJewels Vintage 1.50 Carat Ruby and Diamond Engagement Ring in White Gold for Women
Not into stones and diamonds? That’s chill—maybe think about telling everyone you’re engaged with a ring with a knot tied in it. Maybe you’re just a super literal person, and you’re super serious about TYING THE KNOT so you need a KNOT ring. C’mon guys, this is so fun.
Audrey Rose Tiny Knot Ring
7. Claddagh Rings
If you and your intended just, really, LOVE Irish and Celtic culture (maybe you’re living in Ireland or met in Ireland while studying abroad or you’re Irish), think about proposing with (or asking for) a Claddagh ring. The traditional Irish ring dates back to Roman times (cool story, Hansel), and was actually used as an engagement and wedding ring in the Middle Ages.
Glencara – Ladies 14K White Gold Silver Claddagh Ring
For the low, low price of probably free, you can guilt Grandma into forking over her vintage two-carat emerald and diamond ring so that you can strategically give it to your fiancé-to-be and force him to propose. On the other hand, dudes, you can get Aunt Diane’s classy heirloom sapphire ring and promise to “finally marry that lovely Jenny girl.” Heirlooms can be much more meaningful than just heading to the store and picking out something totally new, so it’s worth thinking about.
1stdibs- Art Deco Old European Cut Diamond Platinum Ring Circa 1920
Images: Anne Edgar, Unsplash; Glencara; 1stdibs; Audrey Rose; Jeen Jewels; Clean Origin; Brilliance; Overstock; ShyGems
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