Cancel culture is by far the best thing to come out of the last decade. Sure, in some cases it can be hurtful and uncalled for, but so is polishing off an entire box of wine over the course of 72 hours. What’s your point? I, for one, am living for cancel culture, and not just because it speaks to the blackest, pettiest parts of my heart (though that is certainly a plus). There’s something to be said for holding people accountable for their actions, for holding a mirror up to all of their wrongs and saying “you know why, YOU KNOW WHY.” And in the past decade, no one has been called out more for their bullsh*t than powerful men, especially in Hollywood. Canceling sexy, powerful men (aside from being a sexual fetish of mine) feels like a long time coming and a necessary part of moving forward as a society. My vote has always been to isolate the men in an underground bunker and only let them out for breeding purposes or until they’ve learned to behave themselves, but my therapist calls this plan “troubling” and “something to discuss in our next session.” For now, I suppose, I’ll just have to settle for tarnishing their reputations and banishing their names and negative energy from the mainstream media. Sighs.
So, as we approach a new year and a new decade, let’s take a look at all of the men we need to cancel forever and finally leave behind (to hopefully eat sh*t and die):
Talk about a 10 year challenge. No one has aged less well than James Franco. I’m not gonna lie, but back in the day I was a huge fan of Franco’s, and that had everything to do with his role as tortured (but sexy) knight in the romantic drama Tristian & Isolde. But little did I know that while I was swooning over hot beach sex and painful British accents, our boy James was out here allegedly manipulating and sexually exploiting the struggling, young actresses of LA. This is why we can’t have nice things, James!!
Back in 2018, and in the wake of #MeToo, several women from James’ acting school, Studio 4, came forward and alleged that this highly esteemed “school” was actually just an elaborate ploy to take advantage of young women. Furthermore, the $300 highly sought after “classes” taught at his “school” allegedly involved women disrobing in front of James and his pals. Hmm. This feels less like honing one’s craft and more like a page out of Harvey Weinstein’s playbook, but okay. Recently, two of the five women who came forward filed a lawsuit against James and I’m really hoping they take him for everything he’s worth. I always say, there’s no better way to start a new year than by watching a man be financially ruined. Cheers!
I was today years old when I found out that Nate Parker, actor and former man of my dreams, is actually a flaming piece of sh*t. For those of you who don’t know, Nate Parker rose to fame after his role in The Great Debaters and, more recently, The Birth of a Nation. But I know him from Beyond the Lights, an OSCAR WORTHY movie, about hip-hop artist Noni who doesn’t want to be anyone’s music video hoe, she just wants to get back to making real music, and the sexy but sensitive cop who helps her find herself. So, as I’m sitting here WEEPING at the scene where Nate Parker whispers “I see you” to Noni, I find out that in real life Nate Parker has a very dark and troubling past that involves allegedly sexually assaulting a woman in college.
While attending Penn State in the late 1990s, Parker and his wrestling buddy were accused, and actually tried in a court of law, of raping a female student. Parker was found not guilty while his pal was found guilty, only to have his conviction overturned. With all the hype surrounding Parker’s new movie, The Birth of a Nation, the case has come back into the spotlight with renewed interest, and the information surrounding the case is… troubling to say the least. The victim alleged that she was too drunk to consent to sex, and that after she accused Parker and his friend of rape, she was harassed on campus by Parker and his friends so much so that she “feared for her life.” I’m not going to get into the full story here, but if you’d like to read more about the case (and you absolutely should) then this Vulture article is a great read. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to go quietly weep for Noni and her monster of a prince charming.
First of all, I’d just like to say that I was never a fan of Brad’s. Not only do I think his acting is subpar (I said what I said!), but it goes against every bone of my deeply feminist body to support a philanderer like him. I have to save that kind of compassion and forgiveness for my own romantic relationships with cheating assholes, obviously. That said, he is good-looking, and in the last 10 years he has done nothing but further sully his own reputation so, congratulations Brad, you made my hit list. Bravo.
I think by now we all remember the infamous plane incident of 2016 that resulted in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting a divorce after nearly 12 years together and Brad being investigated by the FBI for child abuse. But just in case you need a refresher, in 2016 Brad allegedly got into a drunken fight with Angelina (he was drunk; she was not) on the family’s private plane on the way home from France. An anonymous person then reported Brad to Los Angeles DCFS and claimed that Brad “attacked” their 15-year-old son Maddox during said fight. Apparently, Maddox jumped into the fight to verbally defend his mom when Brad “lunged at the boy.” Brad has vehemently denied hitting his son, though he does admit to being drunk and yelling at people. Since the incident, Brad has undergone a stint in rehab while Angelina has pushed for full custody of their kids in the divorce. Yikes. And to think I thought his low as a human being was when he copied his girlfriend Gwyneth’s haircut that one time, but it’s good to know I can still be proven wrong.
Chuck Bass is the reason I, a grown-ass woman in her late 20s, still consistently match with 23-year-olds in polo shirts on Hinge. So, it shocked me to find out that the man who plays a borderline sociopathic asshole who likes to intimidate and force himself upon unsuspecting women was allegedly, in real life, a borderline sociopathic asshole who likes to intimidate and force himself upon unsuspecting women. What is that saying about art imitating life? In 2018, actress Katrina Cohen came forward on Facebook and alleged that Westwick had raped her in 2015. In the Facebook post she says that the reason she didn’t come forward until after #MeToo was because she was persuaded into believing she was somehow complicit in her attack and that making accusations against the actor would kill her own career. No charges were ever filed due to “insufficient evidence” but the accusation itself is upsetting and troubling and reason enough for all of us to stop incorporating a whispered “I’m Chuck Bass” into foreplay (or is that just me?). Hey, Ed? You can go Chuck yourself now, mmkay?
Remember when the Bachelor was actually America’s most eligible man and not just a flaming piece of garbage masquerading as a very attractive human man? No? Me either. Chris Soules was the Bachelor back in 2014 but his most recent claim to fame is that he accidentally ran someone over—and killed him!—as a result of drinking and driving. Wow, do we think Becca Tilley is feeling blessed that she never received that final rose, or what? Chris, always the gentleman, took responsibility for his actions by evading charges at all costs. At one point his lawyers even claimed that the law he violated (leaving the scene of a hit and run) was actually unconstitutional because it, like, got him in trouble. Look, this is a thing I say when my barista f*cks up my order and puts three pumps instead of two pumps into my peppermint mocha, and in that instance, is totally valid. When it’s not valid? Manslaughter. Here’s hoping that in the new year he’s properly banished back to the Iowa cornfield from whence he crawled out of.
Sadly, I’m sure there are many more Hollywood hotties who could have made this list, but truthfully I’m afraid if I include any more I’ll slip into another rage blackout and accidentally burn this entire world to the ground. Anyway, can’t wait to see what the new decade brings! Hopefully it’s a continuance of believing women and holding men accountable for their disgusting, damaging, and just, like, really illegal behavior. Cheers to the new year!!
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Everyone can agree that Gossip Girl is a show iconic for its fashion. From Serena’s sensual menswear looks to Blair’s classic plaid pieces and extravagant bows, each character has their own distinct personal style. Even lowly Joe—I mean, Dan Humphrey—has a very defined struggling-writer-hipster-wannabe-from-Brooklyn style of his own. However, even the greatest scripted show on television, with all its flawless fashion looks, couldn’t get it right every time. With rumors of a potential Gossip Girl reboot picking up steam (fingers crossed), let’s take a look back at some of the show’s greatest fashion crimes. Here are some of the worst Gossip Girl looks of all time.
Let’s start with Queen B. It’s easy to immediately declare that she can do no wrong; she was a princess, after all. Oh, but she can. She veryyyy much can. I mean, she did have a stint with Lonely Boy, can’t forgive her for that. But Blair has made some questionable fashion choices FOR SURE. I mean, personally I’m not here for her preppy blouses or childish bows, but it’s part of her look, so I’ll accept it. But what I won’t accept is this monstrosity. Okay Queen B, everyone knows you run the school. You got a lot of “yes” people. That being said, no one’s going to have the balls to tell you how horrific those banana yellow heels are, or yell at you for wearing mauve tights with open-toed shoes. The green coat isn’t good, and neither is a yellow shirt underneath it with gold accessories, but those shoes first and foremost are an abomination.
Look, I know we don’t always love our bridesmaid dresses, but I legit hate this. I mean, we all know Lily has always been not so low-key jealous of Serena. So really, it’s no shock that she would put her in her place with this terrible bridesmaid dress. I get the impression that she picked out this dress thinking it would be ugly af, but then saw Serena in it and was like, “Oh, f*ck! She still somehow looks good. Well, I’m not going to let her outshine me on my very special 5,000th wedding day! Okay, I’ll make her add these weird-ass black accessories to make her look real clownish.” Mission accomplished.
I don’t know whose self-centered oblivious attitude annoys me more: Serena or Lil J. Like, I get it, Jenny. It DOES suck that you live in Brooklyn with Lonely Boy as a brother and Rufus, a wannabe rockstar with Peter Pan syndrome, as a father. Def not ideal. But your bratty and entitled behavior is beyond what you have earned for your unfortunate family. And this outfit is unforgivable. It’s the definition of Lil J constantly trying too hard. Like, you’re a pretty girl with an eye for fashion, and sweetie, you’re going to make it out of Brooklyn! Just chill. You don’t need two oversize T-shirts layered on top of each other, plus fishnets, plus the largest bag I’ve ever seen. You’re supposed to take off one thing before you leave the house, and Jenny could’ve take off four.
Oh, wait. You know how I just said I didn’t know who annoyed me more, Serena or Jenny? My b, forget that because Vanessa hands down takes the cake with the title of most annoying on Gossip Girl. It’s a shame because she’s stunning, yet is the definition of pesky. Between her self-righteous attitude and tacky discount store wardrobe, she is the absolute worst. For example, combo of a horrible statement necklace and baggy jeans stuffed into Converse with cartoons on them. It gives me all the cringe sweats. It looks like something you get on the JCPenney clearance rack in the curated “teen” section. It’s just doing too much, just like martyr Vanessa always does.
I think almost any girl who’s watched Gossip Girl can admit that there is just something so inexplicably hot about Chuck Bass. Maybe it’s the self-confidence, the money, the power? Idk, but no matter how objectively hot Nate is, it’s Chuck’s true BDE that makes every girl wet. Explicit, but true. However, what doesn’t do it for me? Chuck’s double argyle with shorts and bow tie look. AND the socks are high socks. Just why? This is a look you’d see on a WASP-y dad at a golf course. I’m going to scream.
Like I said, I’m praying that this isn’t just a rumor and that we really are getting a Gossip Girl reboot. I mean, considering no one can seem to come up with any original ideas anymore for scripted TV, I’m down for an attempted reboot. If you’ve been watching Riverdale this season then you know The CW is really reaching right now. Let’s just hope that they do it right, and not some corny knockoff version that makes us forget why we loved it in the first place.
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