Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Bride Demands Her Bridesmaid Dye Her Hair

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

On Saturday night, I was hustled, scammed, bamboozled, and hoodwinked into having dinner with three of my recently married friends. Annnnnnd kill me. Anyway, even though I was both a guest and a bridesmaid at all three of these girls’ weddings, they spent the first hour of dinner showing me pictures as if I didn’t spend my rent money on being a part of their nuptials. The main takeaway? Wedding Instagrams are to newlyweds what “take me back” vacation photos are to single people. So naturally, the bride and groom want their wedding to be as Insta-worthy as humanly possible. Understandable.

Unless you’re Adriana La Cerva getting married in Tony Soprano’s house, the bride usually gets to drive when it comes to every little detail of her wedding. But sometimes, brides attempt to take that too far. This leads me the most amazing thing I’ve ever read on the internet, the Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit titled “AITA for asking my bridesmaid to temporarily change her vibrant hair colour for my colour schemed wedding?” Ok, I’ll give her a point for being British, but will definitely crown her the asshole here because it’s 2020 and friends shouldn’t ever ask friends to change their appearance for a wedding. 

But I know what you’re thinking: maybe this girl has like, bright blue hair, which I could kiiiinda understand the bride wanting to change even though the demand is unreasonable. And you’d be wrong. Even I didn’t see this twist coming.

The bride starts off strong:

“The ongoing issue is that my wedding has a blue and green peacock theme” (why) “and guests have been asked to follow this colour scheme with their clothes. Hair wasn’t originally included at all in the colour scheme, but my cousin Ella has natural bright ginger hair.

I would never ask someone to permanently change their hair for my wedding, I know that would be bonkers so I suggested some temporary hair dye, but Ella argued that she has been growing her hair for six years and doesn’t want to risk the colour not washing out. I thought this was ridiculous because it literally says washes out in like 14 washes. But Ella says because her hair is completely natural colour it might take strongly to her hair.”

First of all, wtf is a blue and green peacock theme? Why peacocks? Will there be peacocks at the wedding? Where does one procure peacocks? I need more info on the peacock situation. Condolences to Ella, though, on her lack of a soul, but as my beautiful redhead girlfriend complains about all the time tells me, once a ginger dyes her hair, it’s really hard to get her natural color back. Anyone who’s friends with a red-headed person knows this because it’s literally all they talk about, so the fact that the bride is asking her bridesmaid/cousin who’s never taken a foil to the head to dye her hair for the sake of fitting in with the weird af wedding theme is pretty rude. Honestly, Ella shouldn’t have to explain why she doesn’t want to f*ck up her hair with drugstore chemicals, but here we are. Also, 14 washes? Unless you wash your hair every damn day, that could take weeks to get out, and the bride is acting like it’s easy-peasy.

“So I gave up on that avenue and suggested a wig, it is one day, one single day, and there are some amazing wigs these days. I had a look on Instagram and you wouldn’t even be able to tell. But she said she would feel self-conscious and weird wearing a wig and that because her hair is butt length that it might sit weird on her head. So she won’t dye it, and won’t cover it up. I really don’t want to come across as a bridezilla but butt-length flaming red hair will destroy the wedding photos, and ruin the colour scheme completely.”

I once went to a birthday dinner that was wig-themed, so I got a Kylie Jenner-looking number and truly hated it. It was so uncomfortable and stupid-looking that I couldn’t keep that thing on for more than a few minutes at a time, and my hair is only shoulder length! I can’t even imagine trying to get a wig on a head of hair that’s basically grazing the floor at this point. Tbh, I feel like the bizarre color scheme and wild peacocks will ruin the photos more than your bridesmaid’s very normal hair. Also, it’s not like she just recently dyed her hair magenta and it’s all anyone can see. Like, we’re talking about her natural hair color here. No one is going to be like, “She seriously came to this wedding with the hair color she was born with?” 

Im at a loss, I can’t cut her from the wedding because my mom would murder me, but I can’t have freaking Merida ruining the photos, AITA for asking this of her for just one single day?

First of all, Merida was a brave soldier who saved her mother, there’s no need to bring her into this. Also, is anyone else seeing the hilarious irony here? Just the English major? Cool. So the bride is saying that her cousin should just dye her hair because it’s one day of her life, but this horrible dye job will not only live forever in the photos, it will also likely ruin her natural color and take at least two weeks to rinse out. Like??? Anyway, to answer the bride’s question, yes, honey, you are the asshole. 

Before I end, there’s an update!

EDIT: Ella has dropped out of the wedding because we couldn’t reach a compromise so it doesn’t matter anymore. I now have to deal with my mom and aunt chewing me out over it all.

Honestly, good for you, Ella. F*ck your cousin. I’d drop out of the wedding too, and I probably wouldn’t even attend.

Look, the only time it’s okay to demand someone change her appearance is on makeover day for America’s Next Top Model. Other than that, we non-Tyras need to just let our friends and cousins and whoever look how they want to look. If red-heads are so offensive to you and your stupid photos, maybe don’t ask them to be in your bridal party. Then find a therapist to find out who hurt you. 

Images: Unsplash

For more, subscribe to our NEW Betches Brides newsletter

5 Common Hair Dyeing Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make
In just the past year, my hair has gone from blue-black, turquoise, magenta, purple, blue, and now to gray (on purpose). I consider myself a bit of a hair color expert at this point. I’ve previously had hair of every color of the rainbow even before this. In my many hair adventures, I’ve done so many things wrong and now I know what not to do. For example, when I was 14, I decided to do my hair at home, left maximum strength bleach on so long it burnt my scalp AND melted my hair and I had to cut it all off. Good times. If you’re coloring your hair, especially for a special event like your wedding, you realllyyyyy don’t want to f*ck it up. So help us help you. For these hair coloring mistakes, we consulted expert colorist and Redken ambassador Ryan Pearl. If you color your hair or want to, whether it’s fun colors or just adding highlights, these are the top hair coloring mistakes you don’t want to make:

1. Don’t Copy Pinterest

View this post on Instagram

Giveaway‼️ RULES to WIN!! 1. Follow @hairdotcom, 2. Follow @redken 3. Like my post 4. Comment on the photo with #sweepstakes and why you want to win #hairdotcom #sponsored

A post shared by Ryan Pearl (@ryanpearl23) on

I’m obsessed with Pinterest and constantly use it for inspiration, whether it’s art, clothes, nails, meals, or hair. However, while you can definitely use it as reference, you can’t expect to look exactly like someone else. According to Ryan, “skin tone and eye color play a big part” in hair color. You may find a super cute short cut that looks so chic on Ruby Rose, but will make you look like a sumo wrestler with a little sad bun on your heads. Don’t do that to yourself.

2. Don’t Expect Great Colors Overnight

View this post on Instagram

I started Cheesin after i turned my Kraft into Cheddar ?

A post shared by Ryan Pearl (@ryanpearl23) on

This is really true. The reason I went through so many colors this year is because I was trying to bleach out my 10+ years of permanent black dye in my hair. Every time we bleached, it turned a different color, like orange, and we covered it with something similar, like magenta. I bleached for almost a year and a half before finally getting the gray ombre of my dreams. My hair stylist told me she could do it faster, but bleaching so harshly would make me lose my long hair and fry what was left of it. So, we did it very slowly, and I’m so glad we did! I only lost a couple inches of length and the color is perfect. Ryan agrees—even if you don’t have permanent black in your hair, getting the perfect color takes time. He says it takes around “2-3 visits before I get it exactly how I want it to look.” Keep that in mind next time you think you’re going to go from brown to blonde in one session. You will end up orange.

3. Don’t Just Follow A Trend

View this post on Instagram

A Whole Vibe❕ @alexjay @redken #pearlsgirls #pinkhair #pastel #redkenbrandambassador @cutlersalon

A post shared by Ryan Pearl (@ryanpearl23) on

I think it’s fun to try trendy hair colors (hi, I’m gray right now), but you need to put in a lot of thought before you do it. Dyeing your hair can damage it permanently and have long-lasting effects. It took me over a year to get this *trendy* color, but I had wanted to do it for a year or two prior so I finally decided it was worth the commitment. If you’re going to dye your hair, figure out how expensive it will be, what the upkeep is like, and how hard it is to go back if you change your mind. Ryan says, “Do what’s suitable and sustainable for yourself.” My gray hair requires a lot of maintenance, like using purple shampoo and not ever going in chlorine, and my hair is much more fragile than it was when it was black. Know what you’re getting into before you do something you won’t like in a month.

4. Don’t Use Permanent Color On Grays

 

View this post on Instagram

 

You’ve asked: Why don’t the Shades EQ VBs come in level 9? This #ShadesEQGloss family is best used for the middle levels of 6, 7, and 8 when there is both a high concentration of yellow and orange in the hair. Use them on their own at these recommended levels, or mix them with your favorite Shades EQ Gloss shades for extra cooling when necessary on higher levels. Do you have a favorite shade in the VB family? ? ?

A post shared by Redken (@redken) on

Are you going gray? But not in like, the fun way? This is something that I have no experience with since I actually tried to go gray, but this is super interesting advice that most people probably don’t know. According to Ryan, using permanent dye if you only have a few grays creates too much of an obvious line as it grows out. He recommends using only semi-permanent, like Redken Shades EQ, to cover and it will grow out much more seamlessly. The more you know!

5. Don’t Ever Use Box Dye

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Bronde Beach Hair? @uberliss •1/4 Bond regenerator / 2 scoops of lightener • Bond shampoo • Finish with Bond Amplifier #uberlisspartnership #pearlsgirls #beachhair #maneaddicts #uberliss

A post shared by Ryan Pearl (@ryanpearl23) on

This one I’ve heard from stylists my whole life and Ryan stresses the same. Box dye gives you hair cancer. Not really, but it fries your hair follicles. Yes it’s cheap, but do you want to be frizzy and cause irreversible damage? Do you want your hair to break off faster than it grows? I’ve even been told by a hair stylist that I should at the very least buy my color from a salon if I must do it myself. But really? You’re a grownup, get your hair done by a professional. Slopping one color on your whole head never looks as good as a colorist perfectly curating your style and giving you dimension. If you’re not willing to pay someone to do it right, maybe don’t even color. It’s better than having bad hair.

Images: Tamara Bellis / Unsplash; ryanpearl23 (4), redken / Instagram
An Ode To Sun-In And Bleaching The Sh*t Out Of Our Hair With It

Today we’re talking about Sun-In aka the product you begged your mom to buy you and the one friend you were allowed to bring on your 7th grade family vacation trip. Being super tan and super blonde was the ultimate in the early 00s and every true betch knew that the only way to look like an extra on The O.C. was to spend your allowance Daddy’s money on some Sun-In. It was the ultimate beach accessory along with your Juicy Couture cover up and RAZR flip phone, obviously.

Surprisingly, Sun-In is still a legitimate business and did not stop existing after middle school. Though the branding does still appear to target people who were born before 1985. #TheMoreYouKnow. 

The More You Know

But let’s take a closer look at the ingredients, shall we? A huge selling point I made to my mother was that this was a “natural” product so I wasn’t actually dyeing my hair or otherwise permanently fucking it up. Lol. Sun-In is about as natural for your hair as, say, the #nofilter caption is on Ariel Winter’s Instagram photos. Which is to say, that it’s really not fucking natural. Though there are a ton of ingredients in it that sound natural (re: Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, lemon juice, flower extract, etc.) that’s only to hide the fact that this product has more hydrogen peroxide in it than Kim Kardashian had to restock in Paris Hilton’s bathroom.

Kim And Paris

But my favorite part about this product was that it was low-key sabotage to any of my brunette betches. As someone whose genes are 95% German and 5% more pale AF European ancestry, I receive nothing but sympathetic looks from people when I bare my skin at the beach. But Sun-In gave me blonde AF hair in the summer, which seemed to balance out the fact that I was slowly morphing into the red power ranger.

But with great power hair comes great responsibility and I definitely used this product for evil to fuck with my friends. Because while Sun-In was responsible for giving me #beachgoals hair, it was also responsible for my brunette BFF starting high school with orange hair. Oops. Like what was I supposed to do, read the WARNING label that said “DO NOT USE IF YOU’RE A BRUNETTE”? Please, I’m on fucking vacation. Duh.

The B In Apartment 23

Nothing about today’s high schoolers is natural, so you’d think Sun-In would be v popular with the kids these days but sadly nah. Sun-In is living on the same sad Walgreen’s shelf as hair crimpers and chunky highlighter kits. RIP. Can we blame the cool moms of America for this? The ones who DGAF about letting their kids dye their hair straight out of the womb? Lucky bitches. But I mean kids these days are also, like, getting entirely new faces *cough, cough—Kylie Jenner—cough* so what’s a little hair dye added to the mix?

While I guess I’m glad beauty products have evolved from this ratchet of a standard, I am sad that there won’t be any more orange mistakes walking around in this world. You know, other than the one who runs our country. *bangs head against keyboard*