If you want my honest opinion, there’s no bigger beauty faux pas then false lashes that look super fake. There’s something challenging about making eye contact with someone that has a row of thick black lashes that look like ginormous curtains over their eyeballs (*glares at Geles from Are You The One?*). What’s even worse is when you can see the applicator glue on the eyelid. To help you avoid all of that, I’ve rounded up the best (and cheapest) voluminous drugstore mascaras that look way better than false lashes.

1. L’Oreal Paris Lash Paradise Waterproof Mascara

If you can’t afford a trip to paradise, you can at least enjoy the thick, full lashes you’ll get from this mascara. That’s kind of like paradise for your lashes, if you think about it. The trick to getting lashes that look like falsies with this waterproof mascara is to apply multiple coats before the mascara dries. That way, you can easily lift and shape the lashes.

2. Revlon Ultra Volume Mascara

The design of the short and long bristles on this brush head comb every lash, which eliminates clumps and injects maximum volume. Plump up the lashes with multiple coats to get your voluminous lashes courtesy of the drugstore aisle.

3. Maybelline Volum’ Express The Colossal Big Shot

Maybe you have limp lashes (ew), maybe you need Maybelline’s Volum’ Express to give each lash lift and separation. It requires minimal brush strokes, yet creates arguably the thickest lashes out of all of the drugstore mascaras on this list. (I said arguably, don’t @ me.)

4. NYX Worth The Hype Volumizing & Lengthening Mascara

NYX’s volumizing AND lengthening mascara is buildable. That means you can layer on the coats to make lashes darker and fuller and very hype-worthy. The brush tapers at the end to help with separation, which also makes sure the mascara is applied all the way to the end of each lash.

5. E.l.f. Volume Plumping Mascara

If your poor financial decisions have left you scrounging for coins in old jeans pockets, your lashes don’t have to suffer thanks to E.l.f’s $3 mascara. Apply a few layers and get to batting your lashes at that hottie at the bar. Your drinks aren’t going to pay for themselves, after all.

6. Rimmel London Scandaleyes Retro Glam Mascara

If you’re wondering what retro lashes look like, think Twiggy’s circa the 60s. The hourglass shape of the brush head coats the lashes for a plump, bold, fanned look without clumping. In true retro fashion, the mascara is only available in different shades of black for the boldest look out of all of the drugstore mascaras listed.

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Unless you know wtf you’re doing (which is a rarity), buying new lipstick online sucks. You can’t draw a fucking rainbow on your arm and you can’t like, give it a week to see if your Bumble boy notices the different shade of pink you’re wearing. Makeup can be fucking expensive, and as much as we’d like to feel as though we are C-list celebs/Insta influencers, there are times when we have to choose Svedka over Tito’s to save a few bucks. Tbh, any alcohol will get the job done, just like some drugstore lipsticks are better than the expensive shit. Although drugstore lipsticks are the same price as a bottle of wine from Target, they’re still high-quality and way more accessible than Sephora or MAC. I mean, the closest Walgreen’s/CVS/Duane Reade/wherever you’ve placed your trust is probs less than 5 minutes away. ‘Tis the season for new lipstick shades, so knowing times are hard while Trump is still president, you can shop new faves on a budget and avoid a passive-aggressive text from your dad about the credit card bill. On your next run to buy chasers and tampons, here are the best drugstore lipsticks to buy for poppin’ lips without fillers. Cue grateful, blessed, happy tears.

1. Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lipstick in Daringly Nude

For the best nude (other than a dick pic or that one nude you felt proud of in college), Maybelline is the one to hit up. Even though it’s matte, it’s still creamy af and feels absolutely life-changing when it’s on. The collection has like, a million nude shades you never knew existed, and each has bomb pigment for ultra long-lasting color. 

2. NYX Cosmetics Pin-Up Pout Lipstick in Revolution

NYX is my go-to for everything. If you want the same shit you can find at Sephora for half the price and the same level of quality, NYX needs to be in your vocab. Pin-Up Pouts in particular are the reason NYX is still here, tbh. The full-coverage best-selling line is full of classic reds, bright pinks, and most importantly, vampy shades like the one below above to literally die for. They’re long-lasting and totally addictive. This deep reddish plum is perfect for fall, but for $8, you *have* to shop all the shades.

3. L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Lipcolour in Miss Magenta

Not only do you get bright colors that actually look like the same color as advertised, L’Oréal lipsticks are also known for intense hydration. They’re non-drying and won’t crack your lips, since they’re made with healthy stuff like Argan oil, vitamins, and other things I’m too lazy to type out. Since you’ll fall in love with these, you can get one in every color known to man, from hot pink to gray to something dark like our souls.

4. COVERGIRL Queen Collection Stay Luscious Lipstick in Pink Reign

What Tyra says, goes—no questions about it. So when she says COVERGIRL, we stock up on COVERGIRL. The childhood brand that has recently gone on my shit list for switching up their slogan is semi redeeming itself with their latest collection. The Queen collection is v moisturizing (a necessity), full of natural-looking shine, and created with a special waterproof formula that allows color to stay on regardless of how many shots we take. Fucking miracle. 

5. Rimmel London Provocalips 16HR Kiss Proof Lip Colour in Kiss Me You Fool

Well, that was aggressive ^. This fab lipstick is a 2-in-1 that comes with a gorg shade and lock-in top coat to ensure your lipstick stays where it belongs. Guaranteed to stay on for up to 16 hours without drying out or fading, the formula is also kiss-proof and transfer-proof, so no worries about making your next hookup look like a murder scene or wasting newly applied lipstick on your Starbucks straw. With this game-changer, you’re free to indulge in drunk pizza without needing to reapply, which is obviously the only thing I can ever ask for in this life of sin.

Nothing says more about my personality than a dark, vampy lip. I mean, do  I own other lip colors? Yes. But do those other colors accurately describe my cold, dead heart? Fuckkk no. That’s not to say that I don’t buy a shit ton of lip products in every shade of the rainbow. I will buy anything that any celebrity only slightly endorses because I am a garbage human. And while I do love throwing my hard earned money at people who make millions of dollars by taking selfies for Instagram with, like, a bottle of Sugar Bear Hair somewhere in a very corner of the frame *cough* KYLIE *cough*, I also value being able to eat and afford rent. So for those of you who want to look good AND avoid living in a cardboard box, here are 8 lip products that are better than Kylie Lip Kits (a bold statement, I know).

BEST PLUMPING LIP PRODUCT

It’s a hard world out there for a girl working with the lips she was born with. Take it from me, someone who is 100 percent silicone- and filler-free, and also someone who does not have Instagram sponsors lining up for me to pimp out their products. Coincidence? I don’t fucking think so. So thank god for Soap & Glory’s Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Gloss. We’ve repped this shit before but that’s because it fucking works. I’m not saying using this product will give you an Instagram ad endorsement deal, but I’m also saying it won’t give you an Instagram ad endorsement deal. Seriously. It won’t. But it will make your lips rival somewhat resemble that of a Kardashian’s and that’s really all I ask for in this life.

BEST LONG LASTING LIPSTICK

There’s not a lot that can outlast me when I’m blackout except maybe the texts I sent my ex last night. But Rimmel London’s Provocalips 16 Hour Kiss Proof Lipcolor certainly gives me and my bad decision-making skills a run for my money. This shit could last through a nuclear bomb or, conversely, six vodka sodas, a drunken makeout session with the bro I matched with on Bumble, and an unattractive amount of Joe’s Pizza. Give or take. What it won’t outlast? A night in your bed. Expect to wake up with this shit all over your face but, hey, at least you have flawless lips in your Insta story.

BEST MATTE & LIP CREAM

NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream is the beauty product that I can only imagine keeps Kris Jenner up at night. Literally everyone is saying that this shit is just like Kylie’s Lip Kits, but instead of risking your life at a pop-up shop or camping out in front of your laptop to spend the rest of your rent check on blue fucking lipstick that you will never ever wear, you can grab a tube of NYX for a cool $5.99 at any local CVS or Ulta or whatever. Idk if you can fake that kind of good publicity, Kris.

Seriously though, this product is winning at life and that’s why it’s the best matte and lip cream. It’s got highly pigmented colors and a long-lasting finish, plus it glides on better than Demario sliding into Rachel’s DMs. Sorry, Kylizzle, you may not want to cross sex tape off your list of potential business ventures just yet.

BEST LIP GLOSS

A few weeks ago someone was feeling v nostalgic at The W and gave Paris Hilton a voice to tell everyone that not only did she create the Kardashians but also literally everything we like wearing. According to Paris the ‘90s trend is officially over and the ‘00s are back in. So I guess I’ll just go dig my Juicy tracksuit out of storage now. Can someone please tell the very condescending girl at Plato’s Closet that this was never out of style to begin with?? But now that the ‘00s are back and better than ever so too is lip gloss and you definitely need to try L’Oréal Paris Infallible 6HR Never-Fail Lip Gloss. At $11 is v cheap and it’ll low-key make you look like Rachel Lindsay on night one of The Bachelorette before she started wondering why she put being a lawyer on hold in favor of being courted by a grown man who refers to himself as “whaboom.”

BEST NUDE LIPS

Leave it to a model to come up with the best nudes. And just to clarify, I’m not talking about the kind of nudes they’re sending Leo rn in an attempt to become his next serious girlfriend a girl he’ll date until she ages out turns 25. I’m talking about lip shades. And if you thought I wouldn’t make a joke about models and nudes because that’s kind of seemed like low-hanging fruit just there, then you don’t know me at all. ANYWAY, Rimmel London’s Kate Moss Nude Collection is the best in the game if you’re looking for a nude lip color. It has a semi-matte finish, but it’s also v hydrating and you’ll find your perfect shade every goddamn time.

BEST DAY TO NIGHT

If you know anything about me it’s that my transformation from office professional to Happy Hour Hoe is something that should legit be listed under the “skills” section of my resume. And E.L.F Day to Night Lipstick Duo is def being added to that transformation process ASAP. It’s a dual-ended lipstick, with one end a work appropriate day shade and the other end a bolder color for night time shenanigans. The velvety satin formula is enriched with Shea and Vitamins A, C, and E to keep your lips nourished and hydrated throughout all the shit you’re bound to put them through. But I care less about that and more about the fact that I can buy two lip products for the price of one because I’m just a cheap asshole at heart.

HONORABLE MENTION: Milani Color Statement Lipstick

You’ll recognize this product because it looks sketchy AF and, even though online it says it costs $5.99, I swear I’ve never paid more than $2 for this shit. Whether that’s from me and my great bargaining skills with the cashier at CVS or because this product is legit never marked at full price is neither here nor there. Just know that Milani will save your life work in a pinch and plus they have sooo many dark wine colors that speak to my soul.

IDK about you but I feel like I’ve aged 20 years this week and it’s barely Thursday. There’s something about America’s impending doom and a racist Cheeto in the oval office that’s making me feel v v old rn. It’s either that or the 3-5 glasses of wine I chugged last night in order to cope with the state of our country and also the icky feelings I had while watching BiP address sexual assault allegations to a crowd of reality TV rejects in casual beachwear. It’s honestly 50/50 at this point. I mean, just looking at Twitter gives me crow’s feet. CROW’S FEET. Nope, I won’t let a man the color of a Halloween peep and Chris Harrison do this to me and my selfie game. You won’t get away with it, you bastards! And if I can’t combat the signs of aging with sheer force of will then I guess I’ll resort to throwing money at my problems anti-aging beauty products.

Now, we’ve already given you a v important guide to anti-aging beauty products for every stage of your life (you’re welcome btw) but, like, some of that shit is expensive. If I’m going to accept the fact the I won’t be young forever I need to do so by pretending those feelings don’t exist with massive amounts of alcohol a decently priced bottle of wine. At the very least. But that’s not going to happen if I’m shelling out $80 plus for a tube of eye cream the size of my index finger. So here are the best drugstore anti-aging products that will keep you looking young AF.

^^Honestly, high compliments

1. Aveeno Positively Radiant

If you want to do the absolute least with your skin then invest in a good AF daily moisturizer, particularly one with a good SPF. Your skin does not have time for you and your day drinking for the Insta antics. So if you, like, want to avoid fucking up your skin I’d start making moisturizing a bigger priority than backwards stalking your ex. I’ve repped Aveeno before but that’s because this shit is amazing. I use it every day and it is the reason I still look damn good in my selfies underneath the dog filter and manufactured lighting. Fucking duh. 

2. Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Eye Cream

If people say the eyes are the windows to the soul, then my soul must be saying “spends 2-3 hours googling ‘Kardashian kids’ outfits’ a night.” Seriously, guys, I’m available. Don’t all line up at once. Obviously, I need all the help my money can buy I can get from the clearance section of a CVS. Neutrogena’s eye cream is more legit than your last boyfriend’s job as an influencer *cough* Robby Hayes *cough* and it’s cheap AF. Retinol-packed eye creams are the only way to banish wrinkles from your face, and Neutrogena’s is fast-acting so you can look younger by Friday’s happy hour. 

3. L’Oréal Hydra Genius Water Cream

Getting old also means your skin starts to retain less water and my younger self is literally rolling her eyes at me and all my wacky self-care ideas *internally sobs*. If your skin needs some major hydration before the age of 30 then I’m guessing it’s 40 percent age, 60 percent the fact that your daily liquid intake consists of coffee and wine (hi). I suggest drinking more water, which is v boring but will make you look less like a dehydrated monster. I also suggest incorporating L’Oréal Hydra Genius Water Cream into your daily beauty routine ASAP. Mixed with aloe water, this product feels like you’re getting a facial every damn day without the sketchy Groupon. You should use it before you put on any makeup and at night for amaze results.

4. RoC Retinol Correxion Sensitive Night Cream

Investing in a good retinol product is going to be the key to everlasting youth. And here I thought is was actively not acknowledging the passage of time. Huh, the more you know. Though retinols have amazing anti-aging benefits, sometimes the retinol-based creams can be harsh AF on your skin. The RoC Retinol Correxion Sensitive Night Cream contains a milder concentration of retinol, so your skin won’t look ratchet while your cells work to erase your fine lines. Plus the hyaluronic acid in it helps hydrate and plump skin, so you can look like a college freshman again (sans the sign on your forehead that screams, “I AM BEGGING TO BE GROPED IN A FRAT BASEMENT DANCE FLOOR BY SUPER SENIORS!”). 

5. Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect Intense Beauty Serum

This is the shit you’ll need in your 30s when you’re wishing it was still socially acceptable to bong beers on a Tuesday reminiscing about your youth. Beauty serums like this one are super important because it stimulates the production of collagen AND protects you from you and your shitty life choices environmental factors. This serum in particular has vitamin C and glycerin in it, which will leave your skin looking softer, brighter, and dewier—and it works faster than Donald Trump crafting a racist tweet. 

Yah, maybe you had a shitty morning. Maybe you partied a lil too hard on a Tuesday night. I know it was Taco Tuesday, but the bags under your eyes from lack of sleep and the chin zit that’s forming from sleeping in makeup and drooling on yourself (thanks, tequila) are not doing you any favors.

A betch needs an ally, and concealer is just that. It hides our deepest darkest secrets, be they zit, cold sore, or bruise from tripping and falling into a bar. Because we’re amazing, we rounded up the best drugstore concealers for you to dab on your face without breaking the bank.

1. L’Oreal Paris True Match Super-Blendable Concealer

This shit comes in about a billion shades ranging from warms to neutrals to cools. You can dab on a teeny bit for a zit or you can slather on lots for dark under eye circles. It’ll hide all your secrets.

2. e.l.f. Concealer Pencil Brush

If you haven’t bought into the e.l.f. line yet, get on that shit. They don’t test on cute fuzzy animals and their products are actually legit. The concealer pencil brush is neat since it isn’t a liquid and works really well for concealing redness around your nose from snorting Adderall, discoloration near your eyes from all the shots you took, etc. Plus, it’s only $8, so, win.

3. Maybelline New York Instant Age Rewind Eraser

Check the interwebs and you’ll find this shit on every list detailing amazing concealers. Why does it rule? The haloxyl (lol wut) helps de-puff your under eye circles and the micro-corrector smooths over fine lines without settling in. It’ll literally make you look bright and full of life AND it lasts for about 6 hours.

4. Rimmel London Wake Me Up Concealer

If getting “the London look” is on your agenda and diminishing large red pimples is part of that, grab this eight-hour concealer. It lasts all day and works especially well on acne and scars. It does a bitchin’ job on under eye circles too, if you suffer from that issue.

5. Neutrogena Skinclearing Blemish Concealer

What’s better than a concealer with zit meds literally in it? Nothing, betch. Neutrogena is a fave of dermatologists for a reason. This shit goes on smoothly and is amazing for dabbing on a zit so you don’t feel like you’re making it worse by adding makeup for the day.

Now go forth and hide thy zits. 

Unless you’re 12 years old or don’t consistently wake up on Monday morning from a Sunday brunch hangover (and honestly wtf else would you be doing with your life?), I hate to break it to you, but you’ve got bags, and I’m not talking that reusable trendy shit you hoard in your pantry. Look, we’re not getting any younger. It’s just the ugly truth. Like, idk when girls started treating under-eye concealers like a choice of wedding meal courses, but these aren’t an option. When it all comes down to it, concealers are a matter of life or death, mostly because without something to cover up your under-eye bags or dark circles, or whatever your issue is, you actually look like a fucking corpse.

So if you’re one of those self-described “lucky” girls who thinks this doesn’t apply to you, then by all means, skip over this article, but expect to stop being carded at the ripe age of 25. For all the rest of us, these under-eye concealers are worth sacrificing two drinks, and selling your soul at Ulta. But like, what else is new?

It Cosmetics CC+ Eye Color Correcting Full Coverage Cream

First off, if someone could tell me what the fuck ‘CC’ means, that’d be great. But I know enough about it to know that ‘CC cream’ and ‘full coverage’ have never been used in the same sentence. Which is why this shit is one-of-a-kind and I will swear by it til death. First off, it works as an anti-aging product, so there’s that. It also comes equipped with advanced Cold Spoon Technology aka a groundbreaking metal tip, but tbh the cooling application feels like heaven. It’s also SPF 50, so in other words, add this product to your cart, like yesterday, so you don’t look like melted butter at the beach this weekend.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Concealer

You know anything with as betchy of a name as Anastasia is bound to be a decent product. I mean, just look at the success of her eyebrow products. But anyway, this concealer comes in 16 shades, so unlike last week’s Bumble match, you’re bound to find a match you don’t feel personally victimized by. But what’s best about this is that it stays put all day and for those oily skin types, won’t settle into creases. Plus, in really desperate times, you can use this as an all-over foundation. So what Anastasia is basically getting at is that there’s no excuse for you to look anything but fabulous during your walk of shame.

Milk Makeup Flex Concealer

Our environment has already gone to shit, but that doesn’t mean your face has to. Idfk how a makeup brand can be gluten-free, but the entire Milk line is eco-friendly, for all of you who still care about what goes on your face (I wish I did, tbh). It allows for full coverage but also the ability to still move your face freely without feeling like a cracked sidewalk. The product is infused with marshmallow and chamomile (wtf?), so it’s best used on fair skin and pink undertones to decrease redness and stress pimples.

NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer

Betches love simplicity. Actually, betches love being able to get away with doing the bare minimum. In that case, this NARS concealer wand is pure gold. Not only will it give your skin a radiant glow (hence the title, duh.), but it’s also lightweight and doubles up as a contouring wand and can also be used to hide those trouble areas, all while giving the impression that you actually didn’t need to use Snapchat’s pretty filter to take a no-makeup selfie.   

L’Oreal True Match Super Blendable Crayon Concealer

When you’re balling on the broke bitch budget and have to choose between a decent concealer and Sunday brunch, don’t. That just adds stress, and I’ve already had waste my own time explaining how to cover your stress bags. But with this drugstore concealer, you won’t have to enjoy brunch solely via Instagram. It allows for full, lightweight coverage, and you can either use the tip of the crayon for finer contouring lines, or the side of the crayon for larger areas of skin – you know, basic first grade shit.

Kat Von D Lock-It Concealer Creme

If Kat Von D is able to cover up those ugly star face tattoos with her own makeup brand, then her line of under eye concealers will undoubtedly cover up all your weekend regrets. The velvety finish of this full-coverage concealer is long-lasting and will give your under-eye region an instantly brightened finish. It’s also known to fall on the thicker spectrum of coverage, so bitch about the thickness all you want, but you’ll be spending a stupid amount of time correcting those under-eye bags on FaceTune.

Makeup For Ever Ultra HD Concealer

This concealer is exactly as promised in the name – it lasts for fucking ever. Wear it through your weekend alcohol binge, sport it during a zombie apocalypse, wherever the case, it’s the shit. Not only that, but the lightweight formula is infused with Pure Focus Pigments designed to even out skin tones and erase shadows, so you don’t look like burnt toast. But if you’re still not convinced, it also won some prestigious beauty award in Allure, but I’m sure these all did at one point, so.

Summer has barely started and I’m already calculating how much I’ve sabotaged my bank account with my swimsuit online shopping habit obsession. Spoiler: it’s not pretty. And because I’m an adult my parents refuse to fund my lifestyle, I now need to save money in other areas of my life by, like, cutting out regular meals, stealing toilet paper rolls from work, and buying my mascara at the drugstore. I really lead a charmed life. But luckily for us, there are actually tons of cheap mascara options out there so we can save money for something that really enhances a person’s beauty: alcohol. Blessings. So here are six drugstore mascaras that will please even your cheap ass:

The Best Mascara For Volume 

You may recognize this brand from middle school when you stayed up late watching wannabe aspiring models butcher the English language in an attempt to win over Tyra Banks in their commercial shoot. Aside from giving me valuable life hair lessons via the traumatizing makeover episodes, ANTM also brought CoverGirl LashBlast Mascara into my life and it really fucking works. Who knew. It’s a go-to for anyone who wants clump-free voluminous lashes (so everyone). Plus it’s v cheap, like cheaper than my $8 Uber Pool last night. Blessings. 

The Best Mascara For Length

So this one is sort of a good news/bad news type deal. On the one hand, Butter London Lengthening Mascara will give you lengthy, voluminous looking lashes from roots to the ends, but on the other hand it’s kind of pricey. Like more than I’d pay for a shitty bottle of rosé so it’s probably not that expensive pretty fucking pricey. That being said, it’s life changing for anyone with short lashes as it adds 20% more length in two coats. But, like, it’s fine. I’ll just cut my gym membership for this month because we all know I wasn’t using that shit anyway.

The Best All-In-One Mascara

If you’re looking for a mascara to switch up your look depending on if Mercury is in retrograde your mood, then Revlon Ultimate All-In-One Mascara is the best in the game. While it doesn’t look like much—the brush head is fucking tiny—size (apparently) doesn’t matter here because this mascara does it all. If you’re going to make out with your ex’s best friend for a more dramatic look, it can do that. Of if you’re asking for me to unfollow you on Instagram looking for the perfect #nofilter #sonatural selfie, then it can do that too. 

The Best Mascara To Fake Eyelash Extensions

If you’re poor fiscally irresponsible but you still want your lashes to look like Ashley Iaconetti’s after three beach meltdowns and one sad makeout session with Jared (I assume), then you’re going to want to invest in a mascara that fakes eyelash extensions and Physicians Formula Eye Booster Instant Lash Extensions Kit is seriously the best one out there. It’s ideal for those who love false lashes but suffer from rage blackouts lack the patience for falsies and the sugar daddy money for extensions. The kit comes with two tubes, one that contains a lash-boosting mascara and the other that contains cotton fibers that attach to your lashes to add length and fullness. If that sounds like a process, that’s because it fucking is but that’s the price we pay for optimal Instagram selfies beauty. 

The Best Mascara For Nourishing Lashes

For anyone who fucked up their lashes last weekend by sleeping in their makeup and/or burning the shit out of them with an eyelash curler (hi), then L’Oréal Paris Double Extend Beauty Tubes Lash Extension Effect Mascara will be key to restoring your lashes to their former glorious state. At one end of the wand is a base coat infused with nourishing agents to strengthen and protect, and at the the other, a top coat that covers lashes in a blacker-than-your-soul pigment.

The Best Mascara For Lash Growth

Almay One Coat Extreme Mascara is the best of both worlds because it makes you look good AF while also promoting lash growth. It’s sort of like that Nice Girl in your sorority who constantly tried to prove that she could be an athlete/sorority woman/faithful community volunteer/”fun time” at the bars but, in this case, we’re actually buying the bullshit hype. It’s a serum-mascara hybrid with a dark AF pigment that adds depth and drama to make lashes appear longer and more defined. Plus it defends against damage and prevents breakage all while growing your lashes. You really can have it all.