This Magical Machine Will Basically Cure Your Hangover

You know that feeling when you wake up in a stranger’s bed, hungover AF and all you want is a glass of chilled water before you can even look at your 42 missed texts from your group chat? So then the guy you went home with offers you tap water and you’re like, “oh god, where am I… a frat house? Who drinks tap water anymore?” But you drink it anyway, because who knows what else you put in your mouth last night, but honestly the least he could do is give you clean, filtered water. Like, get your shit together, dude.

This is why you need to know about Drinkpod, the better way to filter your water at home. Forget about a refillable pitcher with a filter—I mean, let’s be real, how often do you actually change those filters? When you’re at a guy’s house and they have a pitcher filter and roommates, there is absolutely zero chance that thing has ever been cleaned, so he might as well have driven to the nearest stagnant body of water and filled you up a cup of that.

Drinkpod is a water filter that uses UV technology to clean your water so it’s guaranteed to be 100 times purer than other water filters. That means it’ll help you flush out than many more martinis, shots, or whatever your poison drink of choice is. That’s good news for your hangover, since a true hangover cure doesn’t exist yet (thanks, science) and all we can really do to numb the pain is drink a shit ton of water and like, maybe eat a greasy breakfast.

Whether your hangover morning ritual involves cold water, hot coffee, or hot water with lemon, you can make them all in the Drinkpod with the push of a button—no microwaving or boiling necessary. The Drinkpod lets you choose the temperature of the water instantaneously. You can use the hot setting to make instant ramen, my personal hangover cure of choice, and the cold setting to make cold brew, because the only thing better for your hangover than ice water is iced coffee.

We never thought we’d be raving about a water machine, but honestly this appliance is cool, and it’s a serious upgrade from your freshman year filter. Get a Drinkpod, it will change your life. Plus, it’s 2018 now, and we all know that buying bottled water is like, bad for the environment (and your wallet). With Drinkpod, you’ll never have to throw out a mountain of plastic Poland Spring bottles that you’ve been storing in your car for six months ever again. Do a little math, and add up how much you spend on your favorite bottled water every month…there are other items you know you’d rather buy.

In partnership with Drinkpod

How Betches Got An Amazing Office That We Actually Want To Do Work In

So while you’ve been out mourning the loss of summer and preparing for your winter weight cuff, we here at Betches Media have been low-key putting things in motion for the biggest glow-up up since Ariel Winter went from “little girl on Modern Family” to IG thirst trap. That’s right, we moved into a new office, and it is dope af. That’s not even a biased opinion, BTW. It’s like, a peer reviewed study.

For those of you entrepreneurial betches out there who are looking to similarly upgrade your work situation, here’s a walk through of our incredible, aspirational office space. Don’t be too down on your own office, though. Not everybody can have their own golden meme wall, but you can probably find more ways to incorporate Kris Jenner into your professional life.

So without further ado: Hey we’re Betches, and welcome to our crib…

Step 1: Hire A Dope AF Workplace Designer

First of all, we have to shout out LABL Studio, because without them none of this would be possible. They literally designed our office space from scratch, and as you can see, they nailed it. Let’s face it, most betches barely have the time to make their own bed, let alone come up with a chic af office plan complete with millennial pink accent walls and a full bar for after hour office parties late work nights. That’s where LABL Studio comes in. They’ll do all the hard work of making your office look amazing, and you’ll have the pleasure of seeing all your clients, family members, and Seamless delivery guys looking impressed af when they walk through the door.

Step 2: Get A Neon Sign To Tell People WTF You’re About

I mean, can you imagine walking into work every day and being greeted by a neon pink sign that says, “So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?” We can. But that’s because like, we actually. Thanks to Name Glo, everyone who steps foot in Betches HQ is greeted with a Bible verse Mean Girls quote to set the fucking mood for the day. And if you think that’s the end of our neon adventure, think again. Our podcast studio (we have a podcast studio BTW) is decked out with its own amazing Name Glo art, so everybody who sits down to record with us knows exactly what the vibe is.

Betches Office

 

Step 3: Get Your Drink Sitch Figured Out

Beverages: you’re going to want some throughout the day. That’s why Betches HQ is stacked with both alcoholic and non-alcoholic (believe it or not) beverages for all occasions. Newsflash: staying hydrated is like, important. That’s why we’ve equipped our office with a DrinkPod water cooler and purification system, so that we can stay hydrated without being low-key worried nobody has changed the Brita filter in years. It’s like, basically the reason our skin is so amazing.

Now obviously, the most important part of any office is its coffee supply. That’s why we’ve teamed up with Wandering Bear Coffee to make sure we’re chugging the best possible cold brew to get us through stressful work days/group chats/deadlines. If you ever wonder how Betches are able to produce so much quality content on the daily, it’s because we’re all low-key hyped up on Wandering Bear. Now you know.

Betches Office

Step 4: Frame TF Out Of Everything

And now we get to this author’s favorite part of the new office, aka, our golden wall of memes. Now, everybody who has ever moved out of their college dorm knows that framing things magically makes them sophisticated and adult. Literally. That’s why we turned to Framebridge for all our custom art and photo framing. They took our ridiculously hilarious images and turned them into art just by encasing them in glass. Don’t believe me? Just think about this: a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” pinned up to a wall with tape? Tacky af. But a photo of Kate Middleton with a thought bubble saying “No shit. You guys got coke here?” that’s actually framed? That’s beautiful art and it belongs in the MoMa. It’s that simple.

Betches Meme Wall

Step 5: Get Your Distractions In Order

One of the most important parts of any work day is figuring out how to distract yourself from the work you’re going to be doing. Here at Betches, we installed two 65″ and 55″ TCL TVs, which you know play Mean Girls on loop 24/7. Except on Halloween, when we played Hocus Pocus, or when there’s a Kardashian-related event on the horizon. Either way, these TCL TVs will keep the Betches staff distracted engaged with important pop culture events on the daily, and are basically the secret to our success.

Betches Office

Now, we know that you can’t employ all of these amazing tactics to your own office. Not everyone is as lucky as we are, and it’s just not our fault we’re so popular. But use these beautiful pics as a guide for when you finally launch that dating app for people who hate conversing with others you’re always talking about. Because that’s totally going to happen someday…