The Disney Princes Ranked By Hotness

As young betches, after we realized boys don’t really have cooties, but before we realized that they’re actually all just fuckboys who will ruin our lives, we enjoyed fantasizing about being whisked away by a certain type of bro. This group of bros provided us constant entertainment and were easy on the eyes—yes, I’m talking about the Disney princes. Every Disney movie had one, and they were all hot. Ah, the good old days. Because it’s totally normal to judge the physical attractiveness of a bunch of animated drawings, I’m here to rank the Disney princes according to their hotness level. I’m sure you’ll all have an opinion, so be sure to leave it in the comments section, which I definitely read.

10. The Prince

Prince Snow White

The Prince is the nameless prince in Snow White. He hardly speaks except for when he sings some lame-ass song about wishing for the woman he loves to come find him. Yeah, if love worked that way I’d be married with Shemar Moore’s kid by now. Talk about a delusional dater. Throughout the movie, he doesn’t do shit besides kiss Snow White and wake her up from a death-like sleep. Uhh, can you not? I was taking a nap. His presence in the movie is largely unnecessary, which is probably why they don’t even bother to give him a name. Last place.

Prince Snow White

P.S. Are you wearing fucking makeup, dude? Ultimate last place.

9. Kristoff

Kristoff Frozen

I’m sorry, Kristoff is not hot. What’s up with that goofy smile? And that vest? That vest is hideous. He has good hair and is like, a decent person, otherwise he’d be in last.

8. Prince Charming

Prince Charming

Prince Charming is okay looking but he’s a fucking Nice Guy. Bruh, how low is your self-esteem that you spend all night dancing with a betch and don’t even ask her her fucking name?? Also, you definitely took the hard route finding Cinderella. You could have, like, asked a bunch of people if they knew anyone with her physical description, JUST SAYING. Also minus points for the probably foot fetish. Boy bye.

7. John Smith

John Smith

YES I KNOW John Smith isn’t *technically* a prince, but he’s Pocahontas’ love interest so he fucking counts. Here’s the deal. He’s handsome, he’s got great hair, and he’s fucking British. That should be all the info you need. Except for the fact that Pocahontas wouldn’t even come with him back to England at the end of the movie, so he obviously has no game. So close, but not close enough. Seventh.

6. The Beast

The Beast

He gets hot points because he’s rich, has a sick house, and is objectively attractive once you get rid of all the fur and stuff. But minus points because he’s a raging asshole—probably because he spent his entire adult life alone locked up in a fucking castle with only his kitchenware to talk to. I’d imagine that would take a toll on anybody’s personality. Regardless, that’s gonna point to some communication problems later on, I’m sure. Also he spends most of the movie as an actual beast, which certainly raises some bestiality questions to say the least.

5. Flynn Rider

Flynn Rider

Aka Eugene Fitzherbert, which incidentally is my accountant’s name. Flynn is like, a less hot and slightly more thug version of Aladdin, except he has a better pet. He’s fine, so he is precisely in the middle.

4. Aladdin


Aladdin is basically that guy with a shady past you dated for a while to scare your dad, but you’d never let him wife you. He hangs out with a literal monkey, FFS. However, Aladdin cleaned up well and showed Jasmine a whole new world, so you know he’s dynamite in bed. Solid fourth.

3. Prince Naveen

Prince Naveen

Naveen is definitely a regulation hottie. Tall, dark, and handsome with light-colored eyes? Swoon. Naveen is that confident, funny, attractive guy that every girl thinks is in love with them but really he’s just flirty with everyone. It wasn’t cute that he was content living as a frog with Tiana for a hot second, which is the only reason he’s not in first or second place. But since he got changed back into a human at the end so we’re all good here.

2. Li Shang

Li Shang

Shang is a hotshot army captain, and betches love a man in uniform. Plus, he’s fucking ripped underneath all that armor. Check out those abs! Shang doesn’t take shit and tbh, we need that. Even Mulan’s grandma thinks he’s sexy.

1. Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric is OBVIOUSLY the hottest out of all the Disney princes. The black hair/blue eyes combo sure is a winning one. And that smile, man. Is it weird to be attracted to a cartoon character? He may be kind of an asshole for almost marrying another betch like, one day after he met Ariel. Like, why were you in such a rush to settle down, Eric? Could you not just have waited it out? However, gotta give credit where credit is due. That was some solid game-playing, Eric. Major SAB move. For those reasons, but mostly because he’s fucking hot af, Eric takes the top spot.

10 Disney Characters Who Are Actually Raging Fuckboys

While the “fuckboy” label has only existed for the past year or so, fuckboy behavior goes back centuries. Like, did Romeo really need to come into Juliet’s life and set fire to all of her most important relationships just so they could get married just so they could legally bone? Probs not. We here at Betches have explored many varieties of fuckboy who may have contributed to your subconcious desire to try and change them. (Fuckboys cannot be changed. They can only evolve into Fuckmen, run for President, and inexplicably win in spite of running against a much more qualified woman. This is called the “cycle of fuck” and it is currently ruining America. But that’s neither here nor there.) The worst of these are the Disney fuckboys, who weaseled their way into your brain at a very young and impressionable age to teach you that it is totally fine and not at all suspcious for a man you’ve barely met to tell you he loves you and kiss you while you’re sleeping. Like, if any of these dudes were transported into modern day, they’d never have time to marry a princess because they’d be too busy texting “U UP?” to anything with a pulse. While basically every male Disney character displays fuckboyish tendancies, the following 10 bros are the most responsible for the fact that you keep dating dudes who think Justin Bieber is an acceptable role model. 

Read: 15 Signs You’re Dating A Fuckboy


1. Gaston

Gaston is such a fuckboy that it honestly feels like a cop-out to include him on the list. Like, he’s almost the TTH of being a douchebag, so much so that I don’t want to validate his efforts by including him on the list. Gaston is one of those dudes who always goes around bragging about how shitty he is to women, as if that’s a sign of anything other than the fact that he’s overcompensating for his micropenis. He only wants Belle because she’s hot and doesn’t want him, but you know he’s still texting all three of the blonde boob sisters on the side for validation. Gaston is literally every Tinder dude who called you a bitch after you didn’t respond to him for 5 minutes, and he hasn’t willingly read a book since that pickup artist manual. 

Beauty And The Beast

2. The Genie

The Genie has all the marks of a traditional fuckboy: 1) he’s always shirtless, 2) he pretends like he can do anything, but when push comes to shove he can’t really do shit 3) he acts all fun and happy but he’s really deeply unhappy with the way his life is going. The Genie is all flash and no action. Like, sure he’s fun to hang out with, but at the end of the day he can’t make people fall in love or bring people back from the dead, and he’ll absolutely ghost you as soon as some other chick comes by and rubs his lamp the right way. Also, you can basically never go with him back to his place because it’s tiny and sucks ass.

3. Prince Eric

Prince Eric is so much of a fuckboy that when he meets a hot mute girl naked on the beach, he starts dating her, no questions asked. Dude clearly only has one priority when it comes to meeting a member of the opposite sex, and it’s not hearing her thoughts and opinions. Eric is a Prince, which means he’s rich and probably has not had a lot of people tell him “no” or “please don’t bring random homeless women who can’t speak into the castle” much in his life. Dude has no business ruling a country, let alone being a father, which is exactly why in The Little Mermaid II: Return To The Sea King Eric dips as soon as shit gets rough. Like, you seriously can’t even be bothered to help your wife find your daughter who is missing in the ocean? You’re really just gonna show up at the end to fight Ursula’s sister like you’ve been helping the whole time? Total fuckboy move.

Prince Eric

^This looks like the smile of a fuckboy who’s planning his latest way to screw a woman over. Just saying.

4. Prince Ali

Aladdin is cool, but Prince Ali is a fucking scrub. You know, and I know, and especially Princess Jasmine knows, that any dude who rolls up looking this flashy for a first date is probably poor AF in real life. He just borrowed that elephant and clothes from his homie who has a real job, and as soon as you commit, he’ll be back to stealing from street vendors and sleeping in an abandoned building. And like, sure, he has a dope ride, but this dude is shady and a liar. You know Prince Ali’s online dating profile shaves like, 5-10 years off his age and says that he’s an “entrepreneur.” Stay away.

5. Flynn Rider

Flynn Rider is the type of fuckboy who really took the whole “he’s mean to you because he likes you” thing from elementary school waaaaayyy too seriously. Like, dude obviously had a boner for Rapunzel the moment he saw her, but he pretends to be all annoyed by her presence, as if he wouldn’t totally lose his shit if she rode off on an adventure with some other dude. He’s also very into illegal activities, meaning that dating him comes with an 80% chance of having to spend your whole paycheck on bailing him out of jail once a month. Yeah, he’s hot, but is his hotness worth finding out that he’s been running a drug cartel out of your living room when you’re at work? Def not.

6. Lumiere

Lumiere is the most DTF character in any Disney movie—potentially any movie—period. Any moment when Lumiere isn’t giving The Beast the most basic advice about how to hook up with Belle (Give her flowers! Be friendly! Let her eat!), he is low-key sexually harassing the feather duster. Like, I get that they’re both French and the feather duster appears to be down, but they are also at work. It’s not appropriate. Honestly, if their whole continued existence didn’t depend on her falling in love with The Beast, I’m fairly certain that Lumiere would have tried to slide up into Belle’s DMs. You can see it in his eyes during “Be Our Guest”. The entire time he’s thinking, “If this chick didn’t have to fall in love with my boss for me to get a functioning penis again, I would totally hit that.”

Read: An In-Depth Analysis Of Beauty And The Beast

7. Prince Charming

Prince Charming is a fucking idiot. You spent all damn night dancing with Cinderella, and you’re gonna tell me you need a SHOE to figure out who she is? Why don’t you just have every woman in the kingdom text you a picture of their fucking FACE? Like, yeah Cinderella was all dressed up and shit for the ball but you should still be able to recognize her FACE. Like, is the implication here that if the shoe had fit one of the step sisters, he would have just married her, despite the fact that she looks and sounds nothing like the woman he spent all night dancing with? Prince Charming is clearly one of those dudes who just sees all women as a walking vagina. He asks no questions, and pays 0 attention to anything a woman says in his presence, which is why he couldn’t just approach these women individually and ask them literally any detail about the evening they spent together to confirm their identity.

8. Hans

Good Lord, where do I even start? Hans is one of the most dangerous varieties of fuckboy: the fuckboy who knows what he is doing. Most fuckboys do bad things because they did too many whippits in early high school and lack the brain capacity to understand their actions, but Hans is fucking smart. He knew exactly what he was doing by targeting Anna, clearly the stupider and the more desperate of the two sisters. Hans may have shown up to Arendelle to see if he could hit it with the new queen, but he took one look at Elsa’s “independent woman” vibe and knew there was no way he’d be able to get up to all his usual bullshit if she was his girl. That’s why he chose Anna—a girl so stupid she didn’t even realize that her older sister, aka the only friend she’s ever had in her life, has magical ice powers. Hans is the youngest of 13, meaning that he has a serious inferiority complex that you know he’s going to be bringing with him to any potential relationship. Dude is absolutely shady—possibly a sociopath—and will probably be trying to marry young, impressionable girls well into his 50s.

9. The Beast

Wow. A lot of Beauty And The Beast characters on here but, then again, Beauty and The Beast is a pretty troubling film. The Beast’s idea of “dating” involves trapping a woman in his house, asking her to dinner, and then screaming “IF SHE DOESN’T EAT WITH ME SHE’LL STARVE” when she says no. He’s absolutely the type of guy who flips out when you say that you want to use a condom, and blows your phone up with angry messages when you give him the courtesy of saying you’re not feeling it after he pays for your dinner, but only after he makes a 20-minute production about it, on one date.

10. Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse is the OG Disney fuckboy masquerading as a nice guy. First off, he and Minnie have been dating for over 88 years, and yet they’ve never had a public wedding ceremony. And sure, Walt Disney says they’re married “in their private life,” but why not publicly? Seems like Mickey is trying to maintain a single image, in case some other hot young mousette comes along. That’s why he never wears his wedding ring. He’s keeping all his options open. Eventually, Minnie will get wise to this strategy and leave him, only to return a few years later with a Harvard Law student who says that he and Minnie had a common law marriage, which heretofore entitles her to equitable division of assets and that Minnie is granted full canine property rights and is taking Pluto, dumbass. 

Honorable Mention: Walt Disney

Walt Disney was less of a “fuckboy” and more of a “racist lunatic who refused to hire women,” but it was his twisted brain that gave us all of the Disney related relationship/emotional/body confidence issues that plague us to this day. IDK if “props” are neceassirly in order here, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t at least recognize his considerable contributions to fuckboy culture. 

Read: Which Fuckboy You Should Date Based On Your Horoscope
If The Disney Princes Were Fuckboys From Your Past

We all know that Mattel released a new line of fuckboy Ken dolls, but we’d be kidding ourselves if we said that this was the first time a big corporation tried to push fuckboys on us at an early age. Nay, this process of subtly convincing betches to accept way less than what we deserve began as early as our childhoods with the onslaught of Disney fuckboy princes. In time you will date all the Disney princes—just perhaps not in the way you’d planned. Below, the Disney Princes as fuckboys from your dating past, present, or future.

Prince Naveen – The Recycled Fuckboy

Every friend group has a Naveen—dark, charming, handsome, goofy. You all met this guy and immediately group texted “Wait is it just me or is Naveen a regulation hottie?” and you all collectively breathed a sigh of relief when you realized you weren’t the only one who’d let him smash. Then you did a little digging, as one does, only to find out that he’d dated a girl in your pledge class. And your friend’s camp friend. And your roommate’s friend from high school. If you hook up with him, you will have fucked half your social circle through the transitive property. With a sigh, you resign yourself to not even go for it—it’s not worth the risk. A few years down the line, you’ll see he’s engaged to a girl who lived on your freshman hall. You’ll wistfully sigh because deep down you know they’re perfect for each other, but still. It could have been you.

Prince Naveen

Tarzan – Fuckboy’s First Girlfriend

Maybe you met this guy in high school or maybe you dated him right out of college, but whatever the age, he was a literal Neanderthal when you met him. Like, it was cute when you met him at Bonnaroo because he sold you molly and weed and gave you a free tab of LSD because he thought you were cute, but less cute when you left the farm and realized all he did for a living was sell molly and weed. Under your incessant nagging tutelage, he would go from miserable part-time grocery store bagger to miserable part-time temp. AND he learned the magic of showers. With soap. You’re truly a visionary. You made him cut off his white guy dreads and limit his music festivals to three per year… where he eventually met a white girl with dreads, fucked her in a tent but lied to you about it and said nothing happened, and dumped you for her. You thought about invoicing him for all your unpaid consulting time, but your bougie friends convinced you to not be so petty—plus the only assets this guy had were his bongo drums anyway.


Gaston – The Pathological Fuckboy

Gaston’s the fuckboy who’s a senior in Sigma Chi when you’re a freshman—you know, the one who all your older friends warn you about but you test out the waters anyway because you “don’t believe what you hear” and “like to find things out for yourself”? Yeah, him. This dude is just all-around awful, but somehow he still gets pussy, probably for the same reason Taylor Swift is still able to get a boyfriend and people in Florida are still taking bath salts: You’ve heard he’s the worst but you think to yourself “It can’t be that bad.” I mean, think about it. Why do you think the Titty Triplets were all over Gaston? Probably because they were stupid freshmen who didn’t have any older sisters to warn them. So you date this guy thinking everyone’s claims are exaggerated, but in fact, he’s worse than you could have imagined. He acts like he doesn’t know you in public (read: when other girls are around). He constantly puts down your intelligence even though the last time he picked up a book was 2008. Even worse, he’s constantly talking about how he only drives Porsches and Maseratis. It doesn’t take you long to realize this fuckboy is the reason women came up with the term “fuckboy”, and you end it and immediately grovel to your friends who tried to warn you all along.


Aladdin – The Povo Fuckboy

Look, we’ve all dated an Aladdin. Whether you were living in Atlanta and dated a guy who worked part-time at Foot Locker because you had low self-esteem and none of the southern frat bros who actually went to your college would give you the time of day, or you were actively trying to piss off your dad, it’s a phase every betch has gone through at some point in her life. Maybe you were trying to be sensitive to the fact that not everybody grows up as fortunate as you did (you’re so woke), or maybe you just thought his need to sneak into LA Fitness was badass. Whatever the reason, what started out as fun and rebellious quickly started to get old, and frankly, a little terrifying. At first the petty thievery gave you a rush; after attempting to dine and dash at a Denny’s it was just plain embarrassing. While your friends would joke about being completely poor, you were actually living that life because you were paying your way for two people. At some point, perhaps after he asked to borrow money to pay for his phone bill but he promised to “totally pay you back next payday”, you called it quits. You’ve been living in less-broke bliss ever since.


Prince Charming – The Fuckboy Who Got Away

In all honesty, your Prince Charming is not really a fuckboy—at least, not any more so than your average person with a penis. He was actually a pretty good guy, but for some reason (distance, timing, your early curfew), you two did not try to make it work. More likely, you dated in high school and broke up when you headed for college because you are sane and figured there would be plenty of Prince Charmings in the sea. Unfortunately, you were wrong. You will spend your days periodically checking his Facebook and being the first one to view every single one of his Instagram stories, wondering if he’ll ever come looking for you.

Prince Charming

John Smith – The Life-Ruiner Fuckboy

Simply put, John Smith is the fuckboy who comes into your life with the express purpose of fucking your shit up. This guy will leave your ego bruised, your self-esteem bloodied, and everyone you’ve ever known and loved slaughtered by genocide. Metaphorically speaking, of course. You and Fuckboy John Smith cannot agree on anything, from political viewpoints to whether or not Lemonade was all a pre-planned publicity stunt years in the making. Side note, any guy who does not like Beyoncé is seriously disturbed, and you should immediately call the police. But anyway, you and this fuckboy will try to understand each other and see eye to eye. You’re able to temporarily put your issues aside in the name of amazing sex, but once you’re done fucking each other into another dimension, you snap back to reality and oh, there goes gravity realize you have nothing in common. You’ll end things in the midst of a particularly heated argument when you realize he voted for Trump non-ironically and thinks Lee from The Bachelorette is just misunderstood. Thankfully, you will have taken no photos during your short pseudo-relationship, so you can plausibly deny it ever happened in the first place.

John Smith

Simba – The Driven Fuckboy

This fuckboy ran for middle school president and was constantly talking about how he’d rule the country one day. Like, literally always. fucking. talking about it. WE GET IT, JON. Anyway, even though this fuckboy was always talking about what he’d do when he was president, you never actually took him seriously. Until you started seeing him and he’d blow you off constantly for Young Democrats meetings and Young Presidents meetings and Young Political Aficionados meetings and you get the fucking picture. You were convinced he was cheating on you—half of those organizations aren’t even real—until he actually ran for local office and won, and you realized you probably dumped the future President of the United States. He ended up marrying his high school sweetheart, and you’re still trying to figure out if you fucked your life up or dodged a bullet.


Prince Eric – The Too-Good-To-Be-True Fuckboy

Upon first glance, Prince Eric has everything: used Band-Aids. Babies dressed as midgets. DJ Skittlez. Amazing hair. A killer smile. And he’s nice. You’ll meet him and think you’ve hit the jackpot, but not so fast. It seems too good to be true, and it is. You’ll slowly realize this guy is kind of dumb as fuck. Forget him noticing that you got a new haircut—you could, say, implant your voice into the larynx of an evil sea witch and suddenly become a mute and HE WOULD NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Just, you know, a totally random example. You could be very happy with Prince Eric—I mean, just look at him—as long as you are okay with resigning yourself to a life of telling your husband that “irregardless” is not a word and that no, you do not just pop a birth control pill right before you’re about to have sex to avoid pregnancy like it’s ibuprofen and you’ve got a headache.

Prince Eric

The Beast – The Formerly Ugly Fuckboy

Despite being fucking hideous, you give The Beast a chance (probably because of his large trust fund). Although nature typically dictates that you need to either be hot or have a good personality, this guy has somehow managed to make it through life with neither. Probably, again, because of his large trust fund. Yah, you would think that an uggo would treat you like the princess you are, but think a-fucking-gain. This guy is such an asshole that it makes you question everything you thought you knew about humanity and your own sanity. He tries to control every aspect of your life, from your meals to your outfits to the wings of his mansion you can and cannot enter and more. Hopefully, you get out before he does something drastic, like lock you in a dungeon in exchange for your father’s freedom. Trust me, it’s just not worth sticking around to see if he eventually gets hot and snaps out of his scary abusive ways. You in danger, girl.

The Beast

Read: Mattel Released A New Line Of Ken Dolls And They’re All Fuckboys