This Diet Followed By Jennifer Aniston & Kate Hudson Is A Total Scam

I have the benefit of sitting next door to a real, live dietitian—the kind that went to school for a million years and will probs pay off her student loans for the next several decades. Recently, she informed me that a diet followed by the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, and other celebrities, is too good to be true. The diet in question is called the alkaline diet, and it is apparently 100% a scam for a multitude of reasons. I nearly spit out my iced coffee when I heard this. The internet has led me astray?! Say it isn’t so.

So, before you set off on a journey to reset your body’s pH levels, here’s everything you need to know about the alkaline diet and why it’s a waste of time and money.

What The Alkaline Diet Is

According to WebMD, my source for anxiety, the alkaline diet is a diet based on the theory that “some foods, like meat, wheat, refined sugar, and processed foods, cause your body to produce acid, which is bad for you.” It also claims, “eating specific foods that make your body more alkaline can protect against those conditions as well as shed pounds.” So that’s the science behind this plan—eat healthier foods, avoid processed garbage, fix your pH levels, and SHED THOSE POUNDS.

As for why people ever subscribed to this in the first place? “The theory goes that consuming acid-inducing foods and drinks creates an unhealthy cellular environment and sends distress signals throughout the body, leading to colds, outbreaks and inflammation. It’s suggested that continual acid-dumping via food can create chronic disease such as arthritis, osteoporosis, and cancer,” says Greatist. Sounds like a conspiracy theory, but ok. So, again, the idea is that if I eat basic (IT’S A PH JOKE, EVERYONE) food and avoid acid, I’ll live forever and be skinny. Yah, totally!
Sure Sarcastic

Why It Doesn’t Work

So basically, and for those of us who didn’t go to dietitian school, here’s the bottom line: the only way you can change the pH in your body is by hypo or hyperventilating, which means adding more oxygen to or taking oxygen away from your blood. No amount or type of food is going to have an effect on that. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

According to WebMD, our bodies are slightly alkaline to begin with, with a pH of 7.35-7.45. Our stomachs are obviously acidic, with a pH of 3.5 or less. WebMD says, “nothing you eat is going to substantially change the pH of your blood. Your body works to keep that level constant.” Thanks, WebMD, for the science lesson (NERDS!). But, yes, at the end of the day, a diet that claims to fix your body’s acid levels—which are perfect as they are—is utter crap. That’s what you get for following a diet peddled by self-proclaimed doctors like Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop followers.
You played yourselfAnd, as a note, the guy who literally invented the alkaline diet, Robert Young, PhD, MAY BE GOING TO PRISON FOR PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE. Yeah. He helped to write the book on this whole alkaline diet and the theory that all diseases are caused by too much or too little acid. According to, he was convicted of practicing medicine without a license. As an added bonus, “A jury was deadlocked on several other charges against him, including defrauding patients out of money.” He allegedly convinced terminally ill cancer patients that they could be cured by dping some weird expensive baking-soda treatments “to flush dangerous acid out of the body.” Yeah… This guy DEFINITELY sounds like someone who could make up a diet based around acid in your blood. What a jackass.

“But I Lost Weight, So You’re Wrong”

Here’s the thing: the alkaline diet may “work” in that you lose weight, but you’re not losing weight because of any kind of radical pH changes or sorcery in your blood. You’re losing weight on the alkaline diet because the cornerstones of said diet are to EAT HEALTHY. WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE CONCEPT.  By cutting out things like meat, refined sugar, and processed foods, you’re most likely going to lose weight. Granted, this diet says you don’t have to exercise—which, no, yes you do—but starting with eating better and cutting the crap is definitely going to give you a leg up. So fight me in the comments, and I’ll teach you about why the diet industry is a billion-dollar system and you’re a dope for getting duped by these shenanigans. Oh, and why you shouldn’t follow a diet invented by a quack doctor so he can swim in his dollar bills.

I hope I ruined everyone’s day. Bottom line: Diets in general don’t work because you’re applying a temporary fix to what should be a lifestyle change. Eat better, exercise more, and don’t inhale pizza every meal, and you’ll be healthier.

Images: Shutterstock; Giphy (3)

5 Eating Tips To Follow So You Never Have To Diet Again
I don’t diet. It absolutely sucks, it’s hard, and I like pizza too much. I have this thing I call the Abs to Wine ratio. I want abs, but only until I have to stop drinking wine. Then abs can go fuck themselves. Wine brings me way more happiness than abs would. As does bread and cheese.
However, I can commit to eating or drinking these things less often. I just can’t cut them out. Diets don’t work for me because I can’t stay committed to something where I feel deprived. And for those of you that can actually stick with a strict diet or cleanse, you probably gain the weight back fairly quickly once you stop. Because this shit is impossible. The trick to staying thin or getting thinner or stopping weight fluctuation is consistency. This is the way I eat after learning from a nutritionist and it’s not super hard, I don’t feel deprived, and you should do it too so you can stop that diet bullshit.

1. Limit (Don’t Leave Out) Carbs

Everyone loves to blame carbs for being fat. But the thing is, carbs are actually really important for brain function. This is why your friends who do keto are insane and can get real fucking mean. Those bitches are hungry (and probably faint-y). Carbs get a bad rap because they’re most likely to be stored as fat if you don’t use them as energy. So to prevent this issue, try to limit yourself to only one bread-based carb serving a day, make it whole wheat, and eat it before your workout. Whole wheat takes your body longer to process, meaning longer lasting energy and less of a chance for it to be stored since you have more time to break it down. The rest of your carbs can be from veggies, rice, and other sources. Also? If you have to say “fuck it” and eat a burger at 10pm while drunk, do it. Just don’t do it too often.

2. Eat Small Frequent Meals

Most women only burn around 200-300 calories an hour at most (and around 500 an hour for men) outside of working out. So if you eat more than 300 calories in an hour, whatever you didn’t burn gets stored as fat. This is bullshit and I hate it, but it’s the way our stupid bodies work. This is the science behind the whole “eat small meals” thing. If you limit all your meals to no more than 300 calories, you will burn your food as you eat it, thus you have no risk of storing excess fat. So cut your portion sizes and figure out the calorie content of your meals. You can eat the other half of your sandwich (on whole wheat bread) in an hour or two. The bonus to eating small portions is you get to eat all day long. Try to eat six or more times a day, spacing out each meal by one to three hours. Not only does this keep your blood sugar from crashing, but you’re also less likely to binge because you never get yourself to the point of starving. It also keeps your metabolism stimulated. However, this only works if you’re eating small meals. You can’t eat like shit 20 times a day and wonder why you’re fat, Susan.

3. Know Your Macros (and Calories)

Macros are how much fat, carbs, and protein you need in a day. Know them. Love them. Use an app like MyFitnessPal and make sure the pretty chart lines up or MFP will rudely tell you in aggressive red text that you fucked up again. The importance of getting your macros right goes into how your body will look and feel. If you get the right amount of protein (your weight in kilograms is how many grams of protein you need), you will be full longer and your muscles will repair better post-workout. Also, protein is the least likely to be stored as excess fat. You also don’t want to go over your carb allotment because it’s the most likely to be stored as fat. Read your nutrition labels, eat enough fiber (20-25g for women and it helps with fat loss), and don’t eat too much sugar. That said, tracking your food will also help you stay within your calories instead of just guessing. You need a calorie deficit to lose weight and you need to not go over your maintenance calories to keep from gaining weight. You don’t have to track forever, but learn what this looks like.

4. Whole Ingredients

I’m not a fan of “diet” foods. You want a cookie? Eat a fucking cookie. Just make sure it fits in your macros for the day. Don’t eat weird, sad diet cookies. Life is too short. If you’re going to eat a burger, make it yourself or go to a restaurant that uses high quality ingredients, as opposed to going to McDonald’s. Pay attention to the quality of food you eat. Also, when products take things out —i.e., gluten-free, fat-free, etc.—they have to replace it with some kind of filler. It’s better to eat whole ingredients less frequently than to eat fake food. Also? Unless you have a gluten allergy, eat fucking gluten. Gluten-free offers no health benefits unless you’re actually allergic. You all need to stop it.

5. Limit Alcohol

This is the one that is hardest for me and saddest, because I love to drink. Sue me. And it’s so easy to drink frequently, especially if you socialize. Mimosas at brunch on Sunday, wine while watching The Bachelorette on Monday, Tuesday is bar trivia, Thursday happy hour, and then of course, it’s the weekend. Congratulations, you’re now an alcoholic. Not only that, alcohol majorly fucks with weight loss—not just because of the calories, but it also messes up your metabolism because your liver needs to process the alcohol before anything else. To get maximum benefits from your elevated metabolism (from working out or eating small meals), limit your drinking to one to two times a week. I would probably be so thin if I cut out drinking completely, but then I would lose my will to live and possibly murder someone at a family gathering instead of just pouring another glass of wine.
All of these things will contribute to fat loss (or at least not gaining weight, depending on your goals) over time, but the biggest thing is that this lifestyle is easy to maintain. You can do this forever without dieting and never worry about gaining 20 pounds the second you get sick of Whole30 and go ham on french fries again.
Images: Giphy (4)
Can Apple Cider Vinegar Really Help You Lose Weight? An Investigation

For as long as literally anyone can remember, there have been claims that apple cider vinegar, the shit I use in my salad dressing, can help you lose weight. Because I’ve learned that I shouldn’t believe everything I read on the internet—no matter how hilarious or shocking it may seem—I did a deep investigatory dive on this shit. Yah, it’d be great to have this shit on the shelf as a miracle cure, but we all know dreams are made to be smashed. Will apple cider vinegar (ACV) help me lose weight, and if not, will it do other cool things to make me prettier, healthier, and overall a better person? Let’s find out.


So, like, according to the internet and my investigatory skills, this shit is a gray area. There was a study where mice given apple cider vinegar (ACV) lost weight because it suppressed body fat accumulation and metabolic disorders. But like, if I was super chubby and drank exclusively vinegar and water, I’m quite certain I’d lose weight, too. There haven’t been many studies on people, so like, depending how closely you think mice and people are related, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. There WAS a study on people done in 2009 where a bunch of fat Japanese people were split into groups and given either two tablespoons of vinegar, half vinegar and half water, or all water. Over three months, APPARENTLY those who had more vinegar had a lower body weight and lower BMI, but all in all, they only lost like 2-4 pounds, which I can do if I eat a lot of fiber and drink a lot of coffee. So, as far as my investigatory skills are concerned, whether or not there’s clinical proof ACV can help you lose weight is a toss-up. There are, of course, OTHER benefits, though.


Because ACV is literally acetic acid, there are obv some benefits to adding this shit to your diet. First, it can regulate your blood sugar, which is super helpful if, like me, you enjoy cookies as a meal. Secondly, it can help to control your appetite, but so can water when I chug a shitload of it (just saying). Third, it CAN help you lose some weight by boosting metabolism, but it may take a few months to show. The way we see it: It can’t HURT to work it into your diet. And hey—if you don’t want to drink it, incorporate that shit into an Amazon Clay Mask since it’s AMAZING for your skin.


So, moral of the story: Yes, it may help you lose a few pounds by revving your metabolism, but it def isn’t going to be utilized by Dr. Now on My 600-lb Life. Since this shit is so strong, you should not drink it straight EVER. That means taking that shot of ACV can actually cause more damage (in the way of ulcers and sores on your mouth) than good. If you want to mix it into your diet, add that shit to a smoothie, use it as salad dressing, or mix 1 TEASPOON with a FULL glass of water.

7 Pieces Of Advice You Need To Follow To Avoid Gaining The Freshman 15

Ah, freshman year. There’s nothing like leaving home for the first time, living with a roommate you’ll hang with until you join different sororities, and drunk-eating the entirety of the CVS snack aisle in the freshmen lounge at 3am. Basically, college is all fun and games until you get to Thanksgiving and you’re like, five sizes too big for your tailgate tanks. You can blame your RA’s weekly cookie meetings all you want, but gaining the Freshman 15 is NOT inevitable, and there’s nothing worse than feeling fat at your first Semi-Formal. Or anywhere. Here’s what you need to do to steer clear:

1. Ask Yourself What You’d Be Eating At Home

Your eating habits are obviously gonna change when you have to deal with dining hall food for a whole year, but that doesn’t mean you have to go overboard on Mac & Cheese Wednesdays (or even participate at all). You might not have your favorite salad bar nearby or your mom’s healthy food in the fridge, but try to eat as similarly as you can to the way you would at home. When you’re choosing what to get from a buffet or what to eat before class in the morning, think about what you’d be eating in high school, and it’ll help you stay on track without gaining 30 pounds from late night diner runs. We know grilled cheese and French fries taste amazing at 2am, but if you wouldn’t eat it on a school night in high school, don’t eat it now.

2. Keep Your Blackouts Simple

We’ve already established that we’ve been personally victimized by alcohol calories, but let’s not make the situation worse than it already is. Alcohol has a ton of calories in it, so try to stay away from drinks that will sabotage you even more. Your best choice is to stick with clear shots (think vodka, tequila) and chase with a slice of lemon or Diet Coke. There’s no need to order a margarita before a pregame and no need to chase with regular Peach Snapple either. Get your priorities straight and keep your blackouts as simple as possible.

3. Keep That Shit Out Of Your Room

You’ll want to keep snacks in your dorm for when you get hungry while pretending to study, but be careful with what you’re keeping around. We’re not telling you to live off kale and tofu all year, but keeping unhealthy shit in your room is a recipe for disaster. By keeping healthy snacks around, you’ll prevent yourself from eating hundreds of extra calories in between meals. Stock up on healthy protein bars with minimal ingredients, kale chips, Greek yogurt, fruit, and nuts—not the honey roasted ones. You’re not kidding anyone with those.

4. Buy Food In Single Servings

This goes along with the snacks in your room, but it’s extra important that you’re not accidentally buying snack sizes meant for a family of seven. You might be saving a few dollars by buying the value size, but honestly you’re saving a few pounds down the line so you can splurge a bit. Think about it. If you buy the giant Honey Bunches of Oats thinking you’re being super healthy, you’ll just end up eating like, five servings at once without realizing. The same goes for nuts, popcorn, crackers, or any other snacks that you think are healthy options. Like, multi-grain pita chips aren’t that healthy when you find yourself scraping the crumbs at the bottom of the bag. Should’ve bought the single serving packs.

5. Find A Workout You’re Actually Down For

Finding time to work out in college is the last thing you want to do, and you don’t even know where the campus gym is. I mean, I went to NYU so I literally went to SoulCycle after class, but not everyone has that option when you’re on a campus in bumblefuck wherever. The key to getting into a workout routine is finding one you actually like. Whether you’re down for 10-minute online HIIT workouts you can do in your dorm room or going for a run around campus, just find the one activity that won’t make you want to kill yourself. It may take a few tries, but at least you’re burning calories while experimenting, right?

6. Make A Friend Who Will Suffer With You

Unless you have a military buff trainer yelling at you to get up and head to the gym, you’re not gonna stick to your workout routine without a little motivation. Find a friend who will work out with you, or will at least encourage you to do it on the days where you’re lazy. You can literally spend the rest of the day lying in bed, so find someone who is willing to get in some exercise for 30 minutes. It helps to find someone who’s on the same hair washing schedule as you. Just a tip.

7. Save Your Pigging Out For Weekends

Depending on your class schedule, your weekend could literally start on a Thursday afternoon and end on Monday night. That’s one of the great parts about college—having zero responsibilities and a shit ton of free time. While you might be down to black out five nights a week, be careful with how many nights you’re ordering a pie of pizza to sober up on the floor of your friend’s hallway. Drunk eating is super risky, and chances are you won’t even remember the sleeve of Oreos you polished off for dessert. Try to limit your blackout indulgences to 1-2 nights per week, and you’ll notice a huge difference. There’s nothing like the regret that pours in when you wake up with an empty pizza box on your bed.

Ugh, I miss college. 

Read: The Full-Body Workout You Can Do In Your Dorm Room
How To Get Skinny By The Fourth Of July

We don’t want to ruin your summer by making you give up your poolside chips and guac, but the Fourth of July is coming up in a few weeks and it’s time to get your shit together. We all know what happens when you get a little too comfortable and totally give up your health kick (hi). I mean, that’s probably how Rob Kardashian fell off the wagon in the first place. We can all agree we should take it up a notch before it’s time to day drink in an American flag bikini, so here’s how to get your body ready for the Instas.

1. Do Short HIIT Workouts

There’s a reason high intensity interval training was at the top of the list for the best 2017 fitness trends, and it’s not because we look hot doing it. HIIT training is effective and quick, so it’s obviously the best way to burn fat when you have a deadline and you’ve been eating Pinkberry on the daily. The combination of the bursts of high intensity exercise with short rest periods has been proven to burst your metabolism and keep your body in the fat-burning zone after your workout has ended.

2. Do Some Snack Prep

There’s nothing we hate more than long lines, waking up early, or people who walk slow, but doing any sort of advanced preparation tops anything on that list. No one wants to be a planner or think ahead, but sometimes when food is involved, it’s a necessary evil. When you’re hanging by the pool with friends or you’re road tripping to the Hamptons, it’s easy to rely on processed shit when you need a snack. By prepping some healthy snacks to carry around in advanced, you’ll end up saving a million calories and feeling so much better. And as a bonus, you won’t spend your hard-earned alcohol money on a spur-of-the-moment donut. Everybody wins.


3. Give Up The Sugar

We don’t usually tell you to cut things out of your diet entirely, but if you know you eat a lot of sugar, giving it up for the next few weeks could completely change your body. Not only is sugar terrible for your teeth and your liver, but it also affects the hormones in your brain which control hunger signals, so you end up thinking you’re more hungry than you actually are, which leads to overeating. Give up the Sour Patch Kids and the Skittles that are hanging around in your pantry. And don’t even get us started on that S’mores frap you ordered yesterday. Have you heard of unsweetened cold brew?

4. Eat Before You Go Out

It wouldn’t be fair or realistic for us to tell you not to go out during the month of June. I mean, it’s finally nice out after you’ve spent all of winter blacking out solo in your apartment in order to get through a Bachelor episode with Nick involved. You’re obviously going out a ton right now, but that’s when the mistakes tend to happen. Try to eat healthy food before you go out, whether you’re going to dinner, drinks, or even a pregame. If you show up ravenous and hangry, you’ll eat anything in sight and probably hate yourself for it later. Be satisfied with healthy foods before you show up and you’ll be less tempted to eat the entire cheese platter at the party.


5. Take More Steps

Walking isn’t actually good exercise (sorry moms), but sometimes when you start paying attention to how many steps you take in a day, you actively decide to walk more, and all those steps add up eventually. Instead of driving or Ubering everywhere for the next few weeks, try to actually walk places. It’s nice out anyway, so you have no excuse. You could burn up to like, 500 extra calories a day just by deciding to walk.

6. Incorporate Fats & Protein In Your Meals

A lot of people think that to eat healthier, you should just depend on a ton of fruits and vegetables throughout the day. Even though those foods are obv healthy for you, they’re actually carbohydrates, so they won’t fill you up as much as proteins or fats would, and you’ll end up eating more calories by just eating salads and grapes all day. Instead, try eating eggs, nuts, avocados, and salmon to fill yourself up. They’re a little more caloric, but you’ll stay full for longer and feel less of a need to snack after meals.


Read: The Killer Cardio Workout That Will Make You Skinny Without Running
7 Ways You’re F*cking Up Your Summer Body Without Realizing It

It’s almost June, and with Memorial Day coming up this weekend, you might be wondering why your summer body is taking so long to show up to the party. I mean, you’ve been doing two-minute planks and eating raw kale salads for the past few weeks, but let’s be real, you look the same and this shit is getting frustrating. Like, you didn’t pay extra for two-day shipping just for your body not to be ready for your new swimsuits. If you feel like you’re taking all the right steps and your efforts aren’t paying off, it could be because some subtle things you don’t even notice you’re doing are sabotoging all your progress. You know, just like in all your relationships.

1. You’re Underestimating Your Portion Sizes

We’re not telling you to buy a food scale and weigh out all of your portions (though that would help), but portion sizes do exist for a reason, even if we feel personally victimized by the nutrition label on a jar of peanut butter. If you’re not paying attention to your portion sizes, it doesn’t matter how healthy you’re eating. You could be eating way too much and be consuming a lot more calories than you think. Try to pay more attention to how many servings you’re eating and see if that makes a difference.

2. You’re Not Drinking Enough Water

Not drinking enough water can majorly alter your results if you’re trying to slim down for summer. First of all, water literally fills you up, so if you’re not drinking enough, you probably feel more hungry and are more likely to eat more throughout the day. Plus, water helps everything move through your system and keep your digestion on track, so you could be bloated or constipated from not drinking enough, which definitely isn’t helping your summer bod.

3. You’re Sabotaging Your Metabolism By Not Eating Enough

If you’ve been known to do extreme crash diets or starve yourself for the sake of a thigh gap, you’ve probably butchered your metabolism by not eating enough. Dieting is obviously about eating less, but if you’ve been cutting calories for a long time, your body might be crying for help. It sounds weird, but try adding in more calories for a few days and see how your body reacts. It might be holding onto any fat you’re consuming because it’s in starvation mode and needs a dieting vacation.

4. You’re Relying On Cardio Way Too Much

If you’re doing spin classes, HIIT, or any other types of cardio to lose weight for summer you’re on the right track, but it’s possible that you’re overdoing it, and your body is telling you to chill. Too much cardio can actually make your body retain water, which could make you look bloated. Try adding in some strength training to your workout routine to tone your muscles instead of just burning calories. You’ll find that once you have some muscle definition, your body will burn more calories on its own anyway.

5. You’re Not Volumizing Your Meals

If your summer diet isn’t getting any easier, it could be because you’re not volumizing your meals. Meal volume is all about eating the most food for the least amount of calories, so you’re getting the most bang for your buck. For example, instead of eating a 250 calorie protein bar that won’t fill you up, eat a 250 calorie grilled chicken salad, which will keep you full for hours. Adding volume through things like fruits, vegetables, and seeds makes a huge difference in your hunger levels.

6. Blame It On The Alcohol

Sorry to really kill the vibe on your summer rooftop blackouts, but your alcohol binging could be the reason you’re not seeing results. If you’re working out all week and paying attention to what you’re eating, you could be ruining that progress by taking tequila shots three nights a week. I mean, a drink or two over the weekend won’t do anything crazy to your body, but if you’re drinking multiple times a week, the calories add up and your body will start to hate you.

7. You’re Relying On Artificial Ingredients Instead Of Real Food

It’s easy to rely on things like Diet Coke and sugar-free gum when you’re trying to cut calories, but the fake sugars might actually be sabotaging your body’s hunger signals. Studies have shown that fake sweeteners actually increase your sugar cravings, which is why you end up craving ice cream and donuts after eating a zero-calorie snack. Skip the Splenda and the sketchy ingredients and instead focus on whole foods. They might be more caloric, but they’ll keep you full and actually give you the nutrients your body needs to lose fat and function properly.

How To Get A Last-Minute Beach Body When You Procrastinated All Winter

In just a couple weeks, you’ll be showing more skin than Rihanna on any red carpet, so you’re obviously panicking over your lack of a beach bod. Maybe you saw a pic of Gigi at the Met Gala. Maybe the woman weighing your Sixteen Handles cup is starting to call you by your first name. Either way, you’ve procrastinated all winter and it’s time to get shit done. Here are five tips to get your bod in shape in time for those inevitable Memorial Day Instagrams.

1. Cut Out Sugar

Throw away any fitness mag that’s telling you to cut out carbs and fat. If you want to change your body, simply cut out white sugar. Eating sugar is literally just putting empty calories in your body that will trigger more hunger later on. Sugar is proven to mess with your blood pressure, your hormones, and obviously your body. Don’t waste your time skipping breakfast or drinking green juice. Just put down the Sour Patch Kids.


2. Do Short HIIT Workouts

We don’t all have time for hours of work at the gym. HIIT, which stands for High Intensity Interval Training, is perfect for betches who need to get shit done in a time crunch. It’s super fast and super efficient. The best part is that you only need 20-30 minutes to get the workout done. That’s like, one Broad City episode.

3. Load Up On Fiber

Adding fiber to your diet will keep your full longer, so you can avoid all the mindless snacking you thought no one would notice. Fiber helps improve your skin, your blood sugar, and has anti-bloating properties. Foods like avocados, raspberries, Brussels sprouts, oats, and chick peas are filled with fiber—so get snacking. Yes, we just gave you a reason to eat MORE avocado and hummus. There is a god.

Beyonce Praise

4. Go The Fuck To Sleep

You’re gonna need to stop going to sleep at 4am for the next couple days. Aside from helping your brain function better and avoiding bags under your eyes, sleep will help you make healthier choices before the summer. Going to sleep earlier prevents late night snacking, burns more calories, and avoids hanger during your 3pm crash the next day.

5. Do Some Prep

You may have been lazy all winter long (don’t argue—we’ve seen your Netflix history), but it’s time to step up your game. We can tell you what to do, but we can’t do it for you. Make yourself some healthy food at the beginning of the week, write down a few realistic fitness goals for yourself, and get to it. If Khloé could put down the chicken fingers post-Lamar trauma, you can get yourself in shape for summer.


Want more tips on how to get skinny by Memorial Day? Click here!

How To Eat Healthy At A BBQ Without Being Annoying

Ah, Memorial Day, the unofficial start of summer, awkward family summer gatherings, pool parties, and body shaming. When else can you finally unleash your totally awesome summer bod while indulging in hot dogs and potato salad while chugging a beer? Maybe Spring Break and the Fourth of July and every other vaguely American holiday in existence, but we digress. Of course, there are consequences to these actions (what? Why?). If you indulge in the salty, fatty, bubbly concoction of shit served at the barbecue, your hard-worked-for summer body will melt away like your sunscreen from weird spots on your bod. Let us help you. Here are the top 10 things to reach for at this weekend’s Memorial Day barbecue that won’t have your vintage denim shorts riding high in your ass later.

1. Beans

If you’re scrounging around for a side, stick with the most musical of fruits even though it’s a legume and not a goddamn fruit. Beans, although they can be soaked in sauces and shit, are full of folate and fiber, both of which will do more for you than the pile of mayonnaise with chunks of potato in it.

2. Watermelon

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Watermelon is what Jesus would eat if he wanted to stay hydrated and skinny. It’s full of water, tastes great, has literally no calories, and is filling if you eat enough of it. Plus, all the water is good for your skin—so, really, this is a win-win situation.


3. Corn On The Cob

Lest we forget that this staple of summertime is, in fact a vegetable. If it’s grilled, it’s a healthy and not-terrible-for-you-at-all side that you can actually enjoy. Spray on a little butter, salt, and pepper and you’re good to go. Try not to go the Mexican street corn route and slather it in mayo, cheese, and spices… although that does sound pretty goddamn good…

4. Vinegar-Based Coleslaw

Coleslaw is honestly a weird side in general. Who thought of this? “HEY MA I’mma fix some shredded cabbage with mayo and spices and call it a veggie!” Anyway, if it ISN’T the mayonnaise-drenched variety, feel free to indulge. The vinegar (if it’s the apple cider variety) can rev your metabolism and the cabbage is full of nutrients and vitamins.

5. Steak

If the host or hostess of this backyard barbecue are rich enough to be serving everyone steak OR are being misers and cubing it for kebabs, grab it while you can. Although red meat has its issues, it’s honestly better for you than a giant burger or tube of mystery meat since it’s full of protein and vitamins. Just remember 3 oz. is all you need—which would be about the size of your iPhone 7. I mean, Anna Wintour has a steak every day for lunch, and anyone who thinks Anna Wintour is wrong about anything is seriously disturbed. 


6. Chicken

In line with steak, a lean grilled chicken breast is a great option for the center of your barbecue plate—as are chicken kebobs. So long as it isn’t fried or smothered in cheese, chicken will get you your protein fix, keep you satisfied, and only clocks in at about 150 calories for a breast.

7. Water

Our boring friend water saves the day again. Obviously you’ll be wanting to hit up the bar, but chugging a few bottles of water between your snacks and drinks will keep you from diving into the macaroni salad or brownie tray. Plus, you’re outside, so like, be hydrated.


8. On The Rocks

If you’re drinking liquor, and obviously you are, skip the beer and the mixed shit and put everything on the rocks with a hint of citrus. Want a margarita? No, you want tequila over ice with a splash of lime. How about vodka? Add some ice and some fresh crushed watermelon and you’re good to go. Keep the calories away with fruit, liquor, and ice.

9. Fruit

Any decent barbecue has a shit ton of fresh fruit. I mean, it’s the damn bounty of the season, right? There should be plenty of pineapple, berries, pears, you fucking name it. Fill up on all this shit before the real food even comes out. That way, your stomach will be begging you to stop before you even think about s’mores and cheeseburgers.

10. Crudités

Same rule applies to crudités—aka a veggie platter for the non-bougie among us. Aunt Delilah will surely bring a giant crudité tray to the barbecue for nibbling. Grab a ton of celery, tomatoes, and cucumbers and get to work. SKIP that nasty ranch dip because ranch is for fatties. I’m not even sorry—that shit is disgusting. If you MUST dip, find some guacamole or salsa. The veggies will help fill you up to prevent your sausage fingers from grabbing another beer or plate of macaroni.