It should come as no surprise that something we apply to our skin every day may be potentially dangerous. As per usual, we can never have nice things—not even an innocent sweet-smelling deodorant. Just f*ck me up, fam. Like lotions, shampoos, and bath soaps, you probs never glance twice at those super long ingredients lists on the back of your deodorants. I mean, same, but being that I’m getting closer to 30, I figure now is about time to GAF about the stuff I’m putting on my body if I want to live longer. Better than late never, I guess.

According to Google searches studies, swiping certain kinds of deodorant on before you rush out the door can be bad for you in some sneaky af ways. It may sound like applying chemicals to the surface of your skin is fine, but in reality, there is no guarantee that those pesky chemicals can’t seep into your skin and your bloodstream. Yikes. These chemicals, which we’ll get into in a minute, may negatively affect your reproductive and developmental hormones, and have been linked to cancer. Let’s take a look at which deodorants could be bad for you and which ones may be less harmful.

1. Aluminum Compounds

If your go-to deodorant is labeled as an antiperspirant, it mostly likely carries aluminum. While there is no direct link between aluminum and breast cancer, there have been large incidences of breast cancer in “in the upper outer quadrant” along with reports of gene instability—evidence of a correlation with locally-applied aluminum deodorant and cancer development. Yes, my AP Psych class taught me that correlation does not imply causation, but it’s enough to make me raise an eyebrow. Be on the look out for aluminum such as Aluminum Zirconium Tetrachlorohydrex GLY seen in, for example, some of our favorite Dove antiperspirants.

2. Propylene Glycol

This petroleum-based chemical can be like, kinda dangerous and cause side-effects ranging from skin irritations to allergic reactions. If the skin is broken or burned, this can be absorbed. In large quantities, this can pose as a danger to your liver, kidneys, and central nervous system. I think the take-away is that if you’re going to use deodorant with propylene glycol, be careful not to cut yourself every time you shave your armpits.

3. Triclosan

Apparently the FDA made a rule that over-the-counter products containing triclosan can no longer be marketed to consumers. WELP. That can’t be good. This comes after recent studies showed that the ingredient can alter hormone regulation, contribute to the development of antibiotic-resistant germs, and cause harm to the immune system. When a product contains this, it can be absorbed through the skin slowly, putting yourself at risk for health concerns.

Now that we’ve covered which deodorants you might want to avoid, here are a few without ingredients that will send you running to WebMD.

1. Aesop Deodorant

This aluminum-free deodorant is a natural spray that’s suited for all skin types and full of essential oils you’ll def love. One of the ingredients, Zinc Ricinoleate, absorbs and traps odors, instead of killing bacteria and running the risk of clogging your pores. You’ll notice a bunch of your favorite scents in this one, such as lemongrass, sandalwood, lavender, and more.

2. Tarte Clean Queen Vegan Deodorant

This is a vegan cream-to-powder deodorant that doesn’t leave any annoying white marks. It fights off stench with natural plant starches and leaves a sweet-smelling vanilla scent.

3. Meow Meow Tweet, Lavender Deodorant Cream

A cream deodorant sounds weird at first, but it actually dries up well, leaving you sweat- and odor-free. This is all thanks to its ingredients, which include baking soda, arrowroot, and clay. Its organic formula helps maintain moisture, neutralize odor, and keeps you smelling amazing with some of our fave scents like coconut, shea, and lavender.

4. Schmidt’s Deodorant Fragrance Free Sensitive Skin Deodorant Stick

Schmidt’s is a leading brand for natural deodorants, and its formula has won awards for being plant-based and free of everything we hate: aluminum, propylene glycol, parabens, phthalates, sulfates, gluten, silicone, and salicylic acid. I feel like I just won the spelling bee with that sentence. It contains essential oils, fruits, and vitamins to absorb unwanted moisture and keep underarms smelling fresh and neutral. Bless.

Photo: Gifer (1); Target (1); Walmart (1); Amazon (2); Revolve (1); Sephora (1); Macy’s (1)

It’s not an average day for me unless I wake up to some sort of self-inflicted sabotage that’s ruining my life and my room décor. Usually it’s from makeup stains on my pillows, bedding, or the only shirt I’ve ever paid more than $30 for after a happy hour gone wrong very right or a night spent avoiding human interaction re-watching Riverdale and getting so distracted by the onslaught of red heads on my screen that I forget to take my face makeup off. Either way the next morning I always have to take a good, hard look at my life choices destructive personality, ignore that moment of self-reflection, and figure out how the fuck to get rid of all these makeup stains. I’m assuming that you too are a garbage human so here’s how to get rid of every makeup stain that ruins your shit. You’re welcome.

Lipstick Stains

My aesthetic for my room is all white everything because apparently I enjoy torturing myself. As someone who is dead inside, I also only wear vampy lip colors, which is a problem because I’m constantly fucking up my white sheets when I’m blackout. Lol it’s so fun to watch myself unravel in the mornings. ANYWAY, if you’ve got a lipstick stain I’m here to save you from wanting to jump out the second story window of your shitty apartment every time you wake up to purple lip stains and cuddling a half eaten bag of chips. First, spritz the stain with hairspray and let it sit for 10ish minutes. I know, it sounds a little batshit, but it works. Next, dab the spot with a sponge and throw it into the wash. If your sheets/shirt/pillow case need to be dry-cleaned then first of all, slow clap because you’ve made it in life, but also you should use tape of some sort to remove the stain. Try that or prayer.

Foundation Stains

Tbh I don’t wear a ton of foundation but when I do it 100 percent ends up on every surface in my apartment. Even places that don’t make sense like my bedroom wall or the faux-fur rug I thought would make my apartment look less like I live on a peasant’s salary and more like I live a Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle (Writer’s Note: It did not). The first thing you should do when dealing with foundation stains is to not freak out and call your mother because she will most likely not focus on the issue at hand and instead ask you some v personal questions like why you were too drunk to remove your face makeup on a Wednesday in the first place. As if that’s the real issue here. Next, treat foundation fuck ups spills with a clarifying product like shaving cream or shampoo because both of these toiletries have cleaning agents that need to break through the stain before you throw it in the wash. Unless it’s your bedroom wall, then I would just recommend playing dumb with your landlord.

Glitter

If you wear glitter so much in your life that you need this tutorial then first of all I’d just like to say, BLESS. Here’s to hoping all that molly hasn’t rotted your brain yet. But if you’re going to dress like an adult toddler, I guess I can give you some advice for how not to sabotage your living space with the glitter bomb that is your personal style and taste. If the glitter is a part of your outfit (i.e. a dress, skirt, or any other drug-induced music festival type attire) you should spray down the whole outfit with hair spray immediately. It will dull the shine of your outfit but it will also save your apartment floors from looking like a rental space for Forever21. If the glitter is incorporated in your makeup somehow—again, BLESS—use masking tape or a lint roller to remove the sparkles from your sheets, clothing, pillow cases, etc.

Self-Tanner Stains

‘Tis the season to pretend like you enjoy leaving your couch by dousing yourself in enough self-tanner to not be shunned by your friend group. And because of this, everything I own is slowly turning orange through my best efforts to please my Instagram followers friends. Ugh. So buckle up because removing this shit ain’t gonna be fun. First rinse the affected area under cold water. Then wet a sponge with any type of dish detergent to work the spot from the outside in. This will (hopefully) cut the oil in the tanning oil enough for the stain to come out. Other things that might work on the stain are hydrogen peroxide (but make sure to spot-check first in case the fabric’s color won’t lift and you screw yourself even more) or glycerin but only use that like the Bumble Bro you drunk Snapchat—when you’re desperate.

Waterproof Makeup Stains

Waterproof makeup stains are literal sabotage and also the reason I drink. Well, not so much the reason as the aftermath, but that’s neither here nor there. For long-lasting makeup formulations, you should blot the stain with makeup remover and pray to Jesus and the lady who writes your monthly horoscope that this shit comes out. Make sure that the formula you’re using is oil-free, though, or else you’re in for an even bigger shit show.

Deodorant Stains

Deodorant stains have been ruining my life since 2002 and are also the reason my boss doesn’t like to make eye contact with me at the 9am staff meeting. This how-to is going to be especially relevant to those whose wardrobe consists of all black at all times (Hi). If you find yourself with white lines all over your body and you can’t pass it off as “Dylan’s Candy mess” or table décor (you’re fooling no one, Kimberly) then your saving grace is going to be a pair of tights or a dryer sheet. Rub the fabric against the deodorant mark and it’ll almost immediately come out off of the clothing. Blessings.