How To Day Drink Without Getting Bloated

Summer is the one time of year we can get shit faced during daylight hours and actually get away with it. Okay, maybe like, Santacon and Coachella are exceptions, but you get the point. Poolside blackouts are one of the best parts of summer, and there’s nowhere a betch thrives more than at a sick darty. However, with all of the alcohol consumption before 3pm, it can be hard to binge drink without feeling bloated and gross. Here are some tips to make sure you can feel and look your best while still consuming an irresponsible amount of alcohol:

1. Avoid Salty Foods Beforehand

Everyone knows that an excessive amount of salt makes your body blow up the next day, so be careful with what you’re eating the night before and day of your drinking bender. That means saying no to the late-night diner munchies and avoiding the excessive soy sauce and spicy mayo you usually order with your sushi. Try to stick with more plain foods and you’ll see a huge difference. No one wants to give off the third trimester pregnancy vibe when they’re drinking on the beach.

2. Stay Away From Bubbly Chasers

Instead of chasing with your regular Coke Zero, stick with beverages that aren’t carbonated, like orange juice, or even better, a lemon slice. The carbon dioxide in carbonated drinks can cause gas from the fizz to get trapped in your stomach and make you super bloated, so you’re better off limiting them. If you’re at a party with no other options, suck it up and skip the chaser completely. We believe in you.


3. Sleep The Night Before

The night before a darty isn’t the time to pull an all-nighter or to stick around SL East until 4am trying to meet Scott Disick. Lack of sleep can totally fuck with your body the next day, specifically making you bloated and constipated. This is because when we don’t get enough sleep, our bodies release a stress hormone called cortisol, which can disturb your digestive system and make you look like shit the next day. Cancel your plans and get to bed.

4. Skip The Straw

This is a weird trick, but it’s actually been scientifically proven to work, so let’s go with it. Apparently using a straw can contribute to bloating because of the excess air you could be inhaling through the straw. Avoid drinking your drinks through a straw and it could really affect how you look and feel throughout the day. So consider this your scientist-approved reason to chug all your drinks.


5. Drink Tons Of Water

Staying properly hydrated is most likely the last thing on your mind when you’re taking tequila shots and drunkenly mumbling the “Despacito” lyrics, but it could help to keep a water bottle with you to remind yourself to drink water throughout the day. When your body gets dehydrated, it actually tends to retain water, so you could end up feeling more bloated because you don’t have enough water in you.

6. Eat Probiotics For Breakfast

The probiotic trend has taken over the health world recently, and it turns out it’s not just for aging mothers who are still hoping for a Jennifer Aniston-style turnaround. Probiotics are huge for gut health and help prevent bloating, and you don’t have to take a pill to get them in your system. Eat foods like yogurt, green peas, kimchi, and kefir before you start drinking. They’re filled with probiotics and will help keep your tummy under control considering what you’re putting it through.


7. Don’t Do Cardio That Morning

We’re all in favor of hitting up SoulCycle Montauk before you get your day started, but if you’re planning on drinking beer in a bikini all day, you might want to skip the intense cardio the morning of. When you do cardio, your body tends to retain water for a few hours afterwards as a natural response to the sweating and water depletion you’re putting it through during the workout. It will go away by mid-day, but just to be safe, I’d do the class the day before, or just do a strength training or toning workout instead.

10 Popsicle & Booze Pairings Because It’s Finally Nice Outside

Hold on to your butts, because we know a good idea when we see one. For years, betches have been sticking frozen popsicles into their alcohol—or at the very least, drinking while eating some sort of frozen confection outside. We decided it was time to address this trend with our top fav combos so that you can stay hydrated, cool, and drunk come summer. The best part is that you don’t have to be good at mixing, recipe-ing, or cooking in general for any of these. Stick a popsicle in some booze and you’re good to fucking go.

1. Fudgsicle + Kahlua And Bailey’s

If you love a Mudslide and chocolate everything (and/or if you’re PMSing), try this combo. Grab a classic Fudgsicle or, if you’re health-conscious, try GoodPop’s Chocolate Milk pop (no added sugar, non GMO, blah blah) and literally stick it in a glass full of ice, Bailey’s, and Kahlua.

2. Lime Popsicle + Vodka Soda

Are you super hardcore? Make yourself your usual vodka soda and plop in a lemon or lime popsicle. The citrus will cut the harshness of the vodka and you’ll feel hella refreshed because we know you forgot to pick up actual limes when you were at the store.


3. Berry Popsicle + Rosé

This one is a fucking no-brainer. If you’re not in the mood for hard alcohol, grab some rosé and stick in a strawberry or berry flavored popsicle. It’s refreshing and you can act better than everyone else because, like, rosé.

4. Creamsicle + Champagne

We fucking love mimosas, so make one popsicle style. Pour a glass of Champagne and stick in an orange or creamsicle flavored pop. What a great way to start the day—nutritious (not really…) and delicious (definitely).


5. Pineapple Popsicle + Coconut Rum

We love a Piña Colada—reminds us of spring break (or at least it would if we hadn’t been blackout 90% of the time). Combine your fave coconut rum with a pineapple popsicle and you’ll feel like you’re sitting on your own island.

6. Melon Popsicle + Riesling

If you live near a Kroger, grab a box of melon pops and stick one in your glass of Riesling wine. The melon plays off the sweetness and results in a super refreshing poolside drink. Noms.

White Wine

7. Lime Popsicle + Ginger Beer

Love a Moscow mule? Grab a ginger beer, throw in some vodka like, if you want, and stick in a lime popsicle. This relationship with Russia is A-OK in our book (too soon?).

8. Blueberry Popsicle + Ginger Beer

Sounds weird and is not. We’ve already established that drinking gin may make you a psycho, but seemingly less scary would be adding a fun and fruity blueberry popsicle to your drink. Try Outshine Blueberry Medley which is stupidly easy to find in the freezer section. Shit, you could even use Bombay Sapphire for blue drank that’ll make you feel like a rapper. SIPPIN’ ON GIN AND JUICE.

Gin And Juice

9.  Lemon Popsicle + Long Island Iced Tea

If you’re looking to a) get really fucked up and b) possibly ruin tomorrow with a hangover, it’s gotta be a Long Island Iced Tea! Cut the alcohol with a bracing lemon popsicle. You’ll feel like a kid again, except significantly drunker.

10.  Lime Popsicle + Margarita

Unsurprisingly, any citrus works for this shit. Make your margarita, salt on the rim and all, then stick in a lemon or lime pop. Shit, you could even skip the margarita mix, throw some tequila over the rocks and add in your pop. The world is your oyster.