It’s no secret from my many articles on the subject that I’m a Bravoholic with an affinity for all things Real Housewives. And while I didn’t think my appreciation for these women could get any deeper, I’ve been especially thankful for them while battling bouts of boredom and anxiety in self-quarantine. In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, it’s only right that we pay tribute to the amazing women that not only gave life to our Housewives, but who have made a lasting impression in their own right while appearing onscreen.
10. Ms. Diane, ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’
Ms. Diane is an angel. She ranks this high on the list because she’s one of the most normal and seemingly sane mothers this franchise has ever seen. Her calm demeanor and unwavering support of Porsha through everything from the divorce from Kordell to the infidelities of The Hot Dog King is truly heartwarming. Porsha is one of the few lucky ones.
9. Judy Stirling, ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’
Lydia’s mom, Judy, made an immediate impression when she breezed her way into the OC from what seemed like another planet entirely. She sprinkled fairy dust on her grown daughter, smoked a ton of pot, and even managed to get into it with Vicki’s aggro son-in-law over having her feet on Vicki’s couch. In short, she was a lot more interesting memorable than Lydia.
8. Dr. Deb, ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’
Dr. Deb is what you would get if you swapped out Judy’s weed for acid and proceeded to have a really bad trip at Burning Man. When she first appeared on the show, Dr. Deb intrigued viewers with her multicolored dreadlocks and general IDGAF attitude. She really got into the mix last season at “OC Fashion Week” (I refuse to believe that’s a thing) by fighting with another attendant and allegedly using a racial slur. Clearly used to chaos, it’s no wonder Braunwyn decided to have seven kids.
7. Ms. Dorothy, ‘Real Housewives of Potomac’
Ms. Dorothy made an impression from the moment we met her in season 3. Between her monthly stays at the house she bought for with Candiace and Chris and her attempts to control every aspect of their wedding, this therapist seems to have a blind spot when it comes to respecting boundaries with her daughter. Last season she took this to another level by slapping Candiace upside the head with a purse. It be ya own mother.
6. Lois Rinna, ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’
When we first met Lois, she charmed us with her happy-go-lucky attitude and positive energy. Little did we know that this ray of sunshine nearly died after surviving an attack by a literal serial killer. And not only did she survive that, she also managed to sit through dinner while Camille defended Brett Kavanaugh and served us some epic facial expressions like this in the process:
5. Marge Sr., ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’
As if Marge Jr. weren’t enough of a gift to the show when she was cast in season 8, we got the added bonus of Marge Sr. Dating well into her seventies and even admitting that she’s had sex in a cemetery, Marge Sr. is the Hungarian Samantha Jones. We have no choice but to stan.
4. Mama Elsa, ‘Real Housewives of Miami’
Almost exactly one year ago, the world lost a legend. Mama Elsa was the indisputable star of the otherwise lackluster Real Housewives of Miami. With her strong Cuban accent, flair for drama, and witchy sensibilities, she stole every scene and gave us so many hilarious moments. The world was a wonder while she was here.
3. Dale Mercer, ‘Real Housewives of New York’
Regardless of whether Tinsley decides to return to RHONY, her mother Dale would be a welcome addition to the show. She never misses an opportunity to shade her own daughter, whether it’s pointing out to Tinsley that she’s wearing shoes designed by Tinsley’s ex-husband’s new wife, or implying that her relationship with Scott is doomed. And, of course, we can never forget her indulging Tinsley’s crazy and crying with her over Tinsley’s frozen eggs “babies” while Tinsley tries on wedding dresses despite not actually being engaged.
2. Mama Dee, ‘Real Housewives of Dallas’
Speaking of women that take pleasure in shading the hell out of their spawn, no one does it like Mama Dee. Watching D’Andra squirm while asking her mom for more money to let her take over the business and Dee revel in the power dynamic is truly captivating television. Is this a healthy mother-daughter dynamic? No, but I really don’t give a dog’s rip.
1. Mama Joyce, ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’
Love her or hate her, Mama Joyce is the G.O.A.T. of outrageous Real Housewives moms. She never misses an opportunity to harass her son-in-law, whether it’s butchering the lyrics to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to make a threat, or recounting a childhood trauma about a lunchbox to allude to her distrust of him. The thirst doesn’t stop there. She tried using a shoe as a weapon against Carmon during Kandi’s wedding dress shopping trip, and put on an actual trench coat to dig up dirt on Phaedra, giving us this iconic moment:
She may be a monster hellbent on destroying anyone that gets too close to her daughter’s money, but she’s given us some incredible moments in the process.
Whether you love them or hate them, there’s no denying that the moms on this list make for great TV. Which Real Housewives mom is your favorite? Let me know in the comments!
Images: Bravo (2); Tenor (5); Trash Talk TV; 1drdeb / Instagram; Giphy (2)
If you’re a fan of trashy reality TV, you’re probably already very familiar with the Real Housewives shows. But while the housewives of New York City, Beverly Hills, and Atlanta have been bringing the drama for the last decade, you might be sleeping on one very important group of rich women: The Real Housewives of Dallas. The third season premieres tonight, and if last season is any indication, it’s not to be missed. Here’s everything you need to know about the most underrated Real Housewives franchise, so you can jump right in for season 3.
LeeAnne Locken: LeeAnne is the breakout star of the show, mostly because she’s completely insane. Her favorite thing is casually making death threats to her fellow cast members, then acting like everyone else is just being dramatic. She’s not rich but still spends her time organizing charity events instead of having a job. Idk how that works, but I love everything about her.
Brandi Redmond: Brandi is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader who really just loves making poop jokes. She and LeeAnne are total frenemies, which is perfect because they’re basically the two stars. Brandi seems sweet, but she can also be more manipulative than Lisa Vanderpump.
Steph Hollman: Steph is honestly so cute and I just want the best for her. Steph is Brandi’s longtime best friend, and she also hates LeeAnne. Her main storyline this season will probably be renovating the ridiculous house her husband bought without telling her. So like, cool.
Cary Deuber: Cary’s husband Mark is a creepy plastic surgeon who’s on the show almost as much as she is. The Deubers love stirring the pot and then acting completely innocent, which makes them perfect Bravo cast members. Last season, LeeAnne spread rumors that Mark is gay, and Brandi spread rumors that Cary was Mark’s nanny and that he slept with her while he was married to another woman.
Kameron Westcott: Kameron was new in season 2 and she spent most of the season creating her line of pink dog food and acting offended by a dildo that Brandi brought on their Mexico trip as a prank. Kam looks like a Barbie doll and loves claiming she’s better than other people (read: Brandi) because they don’t live in the same bougie zip code as her.
D’Andra Simmons: D’Andra was the other season 2 addition, and I love her. She runs the skin care company that her mom founded, and she revealed in the season 2 reunion that she has TWO TRUST FUNDS. Pardon me while I rage text my parents about my lack of even one trust fund. D’Andra has been besties with LeeAnne for years, but she gets sick of LeeAnne’s constant batsh*t behavior.
The first two seasons are pretty short and all the episodes are on-demand if you want to catch up. Let’s go over some of the most important moments. In season 1, the show focused on the Dallas charity scene, and LeeAnne claimed Brandi and Steph were too trashy to be at the events. Case in point: Brandi showed up to a hat show wearing a hat with grass and fake dog poop on it. LeeAnne was not amused. Later, on a trip to Brandi and Steph’s lake house, LeeAnne threatened to “gut” supporting cast member Marie. Thus begins the history of LeeAnne Locken’s death threats.
Season 2 ditched the charity stuff and ratcheted up the drama. BFFs Brandi and Steph were feuding at the beginning, and Brandi became close with LeeAnne instead. Steph and Brandi quickly patched things up, which LeeAnne was not happy about. LeeAnne also decided she hates Cary, which led to one of the best Housewives moments ever. When Brandi drove LeeAnne to her boob job (I love this show), LeeAnne unloaded on Cary behind a closed door. We got to listen as LeeAnne said that ” husband gets his d*ck sucked at The Round-Up,” and that she doesn’t have knives in her hands but “they’re just hands, and they work quite well.” It was very confusing, but the gist was that she was threatening to strangle Cary. Cute! Later in the season, there was an instantly iconic trip to Mexico that involved Brandi chasing Kameron down the beach with a dildo that LeeAnne nicknamed “sexual chocolate.”
Seriously, the season 2 drama was so good, I was basically on the edge of my seat for every episode.
The New Season
Season 3 features the same cast as last season, which is a great thing. There’s not a single weak link here and the trailer looks jam-packed with drama. It looks like there will be some major tension between LeeAnne and D’Andra, and it also looks like LeeAnne and Brandi will continue to scream at each other about who knows what. Oh, and we also get a glimpse of fights between Cary and LeeAnne, as well as Kameron and D’Andra. God bless these messy women. The trailer also features another instant classic rant from LeeAnne:
On Monday, Bravo finally released the new taglines for this season, and there are a few standouts right off the bat.
Brandi: This isn’t my first rodeo, so I’m not taking your bull.
This is an obvious reference to LeeAnne’s tagline from last year about how she’s “no bull and all horns.” If this means that we’ll get to see a massive showdown between Brandi and LeeAnne, I’m incredibly here for it.
LeeAnne: You don’t mess with Texas, and you don’t mess with me.
Ugh, iconic. Look at LeeAnne comparing herself to the entire state of Texas. She’s completely delusional, which is the best character trait for a reality TV star.
Kameron: I have heels that are higher than your standards.
Well, Kameron won. Seriously, how have I not already used this as an Instagram caption?
Long story short, you need to be watching Real Housewives of Dallas. You’ll thank me later.
Images: Giphy (4)