For a former First Lady of the United States with incredible arms who actually likes salad, Michelle Obama is pretty relatable. During an appearance at the Barclays Center on Saturday (side note: Michelle you were in NYC and didn’t call me? Rude.) to promote her new book Becoming, Michelle Obama accidentally got too heated and cursed in front of everyone, just like you at any minor inconvenience.
So what was it that annoyed Michelle so much she dropped an s-bomb? The concept of “having it all.” See? She really is just like us. Mrs. Obama used her book as an opportunity to call out all the bullsh*t career women are fed about being perfect wives, mothers, friends, lovers, influencers, CEOs, and whatever else women are expected to be these days.
“That whole ‘so you can have it all’ – nope! Not at the same time,” Michelle explained. “That’s a lie. And it’s not always easy to lean in, because that sh*t doesn’t work all the time.”
Ouch. I guess now we know how Michelle Obama feels about Sheryl Sandberg’s book. (And the fact that her company may have low-key allowed Russia to influence the 2016 election, but whatever…) The crowd obviously flipped the f*ck out hearing Michelle curse, at which point she apologized, saying “I forgot where I was for a moment!”
I said the same thing when I accidentally said f*ck in church. People were still mad, for some reason.
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With the exceptions of Sir Mix-A-Lot and people who like big butts, there are few types of people in this world you can count on not to lie. In an age where these hoes ain’t loyal (“hoes” being a gender-neutral term), it’s hard to know who to trust. Thankfully, science has identified a new type of person who does not lie (that much), and the good news is, it’s probably you. People who curse a lot are more honest, so take that, dad. And since I’m already scolding my dad, for the last fucking time: “damn” is not a real curse word! Ugh, can I live??
Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah, this study. Scientists from the University of Cambridge took a survey of 276 people and asked them which swear words they wrote and said the most often (no word on if the “ducking” autocorrect was counted in the findings). They also measured the participants’ honesty by asking them questions about how likely they were to blame other people, cheat at games, and take advantage of others. Not surprisingly because I led with this information in the first paragraph, people who swore more were also less likely to lie. Is that because people who DGAF about censoring themselves also don’t care enough to make up a lie? Actually, yes. The more scientific explanation is that people who don’t have a filter on their mouths probably also don’t have that much of a filter on the shit they tell other people. In basic terms, those of us with potty mouths just generally don’t give a single fuck.
Between this news and the study that basically found that because of our amazing personalities, betches are more likely to be successful, it’s a pretty good time to be a betch. Fuck yeah.