I don’t mean to sound like the Grinch, but office holiday parties are the absolute worst. You have to work all day with these people, have three mental breakdowns in the bathroom (that may or may not be caused by these same coworkers), and then have to socialize with them? You have literally nothing in common with Karen from HR and you know she won’t shut up about her kids. Throw alcohol into the mix, and you’re playing a dangerous game. How do you drink just enough to tolerate Karen, but not so much that you’ll end up blurting out that nobody cares about little Jimmy’s baseball game? Not to mention, your invitation says “dress festively.” What the f*ck does that even mean? More importantly, how can you slut it up to catch the eye of the office hottie without getting reprimanded by your higher-ups? Not to worry, I have plenty of office holiday party outfits for you so that once when Karen stops yapping about how smart her 2-year-old is (doubt it) you can add in how inexpensive your dress is and how you plan on sleeping with Brett in accounting. Just kidding, maybe don’t mention that last part out loud to anyone except Brett in accounting.
I don’t think I need to remind you that it’s the holiday season. This means you’re supposed to start thinking about buying gifts for other people, ugh. Worst part? It’s not just your family. You’ve got to get stuff for your friends, for your kind-of boyfriend, Secret Santa gifts for your coworkers… it’s all v stressful.
But if you’re on a personal quest to be crowned the nicest, coolest, fetchest person in the office, then it’s time to think about gifts for your coworkers. You don’t need to go balls to the wall, but these are people you likely spend the majority of your Monday through Friday with. Small gestures go far, and this could totally (maybe) pay off for you later.
Here are a few collective and individual gifts for your coworkers that say “hi, I’m cool and got you something cause I’m thoughtful” without coming off as creepy or desperate. You can thank us when that promotion comes through.
1. Coffee And Treats
Everyone loves coffee and treats when at the office. Diets don’t exist when you’re in that fluorescent-lit sixth circle of hell. Honestly though, if you’re looking to please EVERYONE in the office rather than buying a bunch of individual gifts, get things to eat and caffeine to drink. Wandering Bear makes a delicious peppermint cold brew (also regular and vanilla) that comes in individual boxes or a giant 96 oz. monster that can be delivered right to your office.You could also just stop at Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme if people are more into the typical hot coffee (esp. great if it’s negative three degrees outside).
Pair with a few boxes of freshly made doughnuts OR get super fancy with it and order brownies (or bonbons) from this small mom-and-pop North Carolina shop, French Broad Chocolates or Harry & David if you’re fancy and into large corporations.
Wandering Bear Organic Cold Brew Coffee
2. Desktop Organizers
Is your work husband’s desk so disgusting it’s become a joke? Get him a “clean it up” gift basket with monitor wipes or mist, a desk organizer, and pocketbook on Feng Shui. It’s a win-win. You’re encouraging him to clean up his sh*t so he can be more organized and you don’t have to look at his crusty monitor anymore.
Joss & Main Camile Desk Organizer
3. Lip Balm And Hand Cream
If the folks in your office are anything like me, they’re constantly searching for hand cream and lip balm because of how
full of black mold dry the office is. Get some desk #necessities in the form of Nyakio lip balm, cuticle cream, Burt’s Bees, and the ALWAYS amazing Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream. Make sure whatever products you pick are free of any color or glitter. If you do go this direction with your gifts, you won’t have to look at people’s nasty dry hands or lips anymore. Yay!
Nyakio Baobab Lip Balm
Plants are a wonderful gift if you feel that more oxygen in the office would truly benefit everyone and you’re confident that the plants won’t die within the first week of your recipients having them. Snake plants are a great option because they’re practically impossible to kill. Succulents are even better if the recipient is likely to forget about watering their new gift. Bonus points if you find something that incorporates plants into something functional, like a “smartphone valet” (whatever that is… do I need to tip it?).
Uncommon Goods Smartphone Valet and Planter
5. Cubicle Guest Book
If you don’t know where a coworker stands on caring for living things (or you work in a sad, windowless room), this cubicle guest book is a fun, cheap, and kind of universal option. It’s hilarious because, like, they have to interact with others and make them sign it with fun notes. We all know how awesome interacting with people can be in an office environment, don’t we?
Knock Knock Guest Book Cubicle
6. DIY Cookie Mix
Don’t feel like spending money or applying effort other than pouring ingredients into a Mason jar? Cool! Create a DIY brownie or cookie mix and slap on a cute tag tied with adorable ribbon. It’ll cost you next to nothing since you likely have sugar, flour, and whatever else in your pantry. Or, you can buy pre-done ones and say they’re your handiwork!
The Mason Jar Cookie Company Cookie Mix
7. Desk Games
Desktop golf, basketball, and other games are all great gifts for your coworkers, because they will help distract your everybody from doing real work while providing hours of entertainment. Your boss will probs hate it, but you’ll become an office legend.
Uncommon Goods Desktop Basketball
8. Dammit Dolls
This is perfect for that coworker who’s always shouting obscenities from their office or cubicle. These are stress relievers in the shape of tiny people that you can throw into walls, drive pins in to, choke, curse at, etc. They’re great for anyone looking to lessen their outbursts directed towards individual people. Now they can channel that very rage into an inanimate object. Healthy!
Paper Source Dammit Dolls
Images: rawpixel/Unsplash; Paper Source; Uncommon Goods (2) Amazon (5); Joss & Main; Ulta
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