Halloween is officially around the corner, and there are three options: 1) dedicate all your time and energy to a very cool, original costume that someone will eventually throw up on, 2) throw some bullshit together last minute, or 3) wear what everybody else is wearing and just hope your version isn’t the shittiest. I’ve tried all three Halloween methods in my lifetime, and I gotta say, number three is definitely the most satisfying. You get the joy of wearing a cool costume without getting your hopes up too much that everything will change once your ex sees you in your spot-on Sexy Demogorgon costume.
So how do you figure out what people are wearing this year so that you can copy it with minimal effort? Pinterest, duh! According to Cosmo, these are the top pinned costumes for 2017, so check it out and get to filling your Amazon cart:
First of all, if you’re doing a couples costume, maybe reconsider? Is this relationship really in it for the long haul? Do you want to work hard on a super cute Old People From Up costume with some fuckboy just to delete it in a post-breakup rage later? Are you secretly annoying the fuck out of everyone around you? These are all important things to consider before committing to a couple’s costume.
Daenerys Targaryen And Jon Snow
Obviously. This is the kind of costume that seems like a winner but in actuality is going to be expensive and a pain in the ass to pull off. Unless you and your boyfriend just happen to have a long black fur cloak, two dragons, and a fuckton of swords lying around, just don’t do it.
90s nostalgia got errybody out here tryna be a Rugrat. And honestly, with so many Rugrats to choose from, this is a pretty good option. Phil and Lil are probably the easiest (overalls, bow, no bow, vague incest vibes), whereas a Tommy Pickles costume gets you to the whole point of Halloween: leaving the house without any pants.
‘Big Little Lies’
Oooh, a costume party within a costume party, aren’t you meta? Every friend group that’s ever dreamed of someday becoming
murderers Monterey Bay housewives will be doing some variety of the Audrey Hepburn costumes from Big Little Lies, or you could just like, be Audrey Hepburn.
We’re still doing this one, I guess. Searches for these costumes are up 40% from last year, which is insane because last year was like, the year of r
ealizing Stranger Things. Anyway, you might be tempted to be Eleven, but my vote is for sexy demogorgon all the way.
Apparently this boxer costume has been pinned more than 5,000 times?!? It’s cute, but like, random. But hey, it’s cute and you’ll definitely be able to repurpose every aspect of this costume for later use. Except maybe the gloves.
The Four Seasons
If you want to indicate to everyone around you that you and your friends are try-hards with a lot of time on your hands, please show up as the four seasons. You’ll know which one is the dud of the group because she’ll be the one dressed as a big fall pumpkin.
I mean, we all have to so something with our free red bathing suits from SunnyCo Clothing, right? This is less of a costume and more of a thinly veiled excuse to wear your high-cut red one piece one more time before winter, but whatever. As we know, Halloween is the one night a year you can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything, so you have a right to celebrate in any way you see fit.
If you’re going to do this, do it right because everyone is going to be Wonder Woman this year. If you decide to go this route, just know that you will be one of five Wonder Women at any given location, so you’d better be the
This has a very sexy schoolgirl vibe, and it is honestly very cute if you ignore the fact that you’re kind of pretending to be a slutty 6-year-old (or would that be Brownies?). Also literally all you need is a green sash. Honestly, nobody be this one. I’m doing it.
Nah. Hard pass. No thanks. Only included it here to say publicly that if I see a girl at my Halloween party dressed as Groot, I’m calling the cops.
I’m A Mouse, Duh!
If you’re not tryna
be basic af wear a costume that’s been pinned 10,000 times, you’re in luck because we are bringing back our classic I’m A Mouse Duh costume and debuting a new Boo You Whore oversize T-shirt dress just in time for Halloween. They’re minimal effort, cute af, and will make amazing walk of shame attire for wherever you end up on November 1st.
Jambo! If you’re reading this, you’re
like me a procrastinator and haven’t even planned out what you’re having for lunch, let alone your Halloween costume. It’s just like, way too much effort. But you’d never pass up an opportunity to get shit faced, and you know that being that girl who shows up to the bar in no costume, looking like a frigid bitch, is social suicide. So you need a quick and easy costume that requires little to no energy expenditure on your part. Oh, and it’s got to be slutty. Since we all know, Halloween is the one time of year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. So that’s why on this momentous October 3rd, we’re brining back our best-selling I’m A Mouse Duh Halloween costume!
This oversize T-shirt dress is super soft and comfy and it’s 100% cotton. Oh, and it’s black. Wear it with tights and knee-high boots for a really
slutty sexy look, or over leggings if you’re like, practical and stuff. These sold out last year, and for good reason. Run, don’t walk, to shopbetches.com to get yours now!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. If you don’t want to repeat costumes or like, your friend already has the I’m A Mouse Duh shirt, we got you. This year we’re introducing a BRAND NEW costume, Boo You Whore.
You: OMG Betches, you’re fucking geniuses!
Us: I know, right?
Just like the I’m A Mouse Duh costume, Boo You Whore is a 100% cotton oversize T-shirt dress. Again, super soft, super comfy, you’ll basically live in this shit.
Again, go buy it now because it WILL sell out. And also because Halloween is like, not that far away. Just saying, you can’t afford to procrastinate that much longer.
Click here to shop our Halloween costumes!