December. What a beautiful month. Though the cold weather is not my favorite, December still has a lot to offer. These quick 31 days are filled with ugly sweaters, dreidels, Mariah Carey’s soul-filled voice, office holiday parties, latkes, and lots and lots of presents (hopefully). Oh, and a bunch of new movies and TV shows to binge and cuddle up to during the dreadfully cold days. Grab your newly cuffed bae and let’s get started. Here’s all the best stuff coming to a Netflix device near you this December.
‘6 Underground’
Ryan Reynolds stars in this action-packed Netflix original movie about six people from all around the world who fake their deaths in order to take down well-known criminals…obviously, as one does. This sounds interesting to me for multiple reasons—the top being that Ryan Reynolds may be my favorite male actor to watch. He. Is. Beautiful. F*ck wait… Dave Franco will also be featured. I will be confused with which man to watch but I guess that’s a pretty good issue to have *wink wink*. This movie sounds crazy, in the best way.
‘Burlesque’
Yeahhhhh you heard that right! Christina Aguilera and Cher make their way back to our computer screens in this 2010 cult classic. I know you all still sing “Show Me How You Burlesque” in the shower and maybe even try to dance to it. Okay so that’s just me, you caught me. But seriously, I’m so excited to rewatch this movie.
‘A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish’
Soooo, Gregg Sulkin is the romantic interest in this cheesy film, and I am so for it. I hope you all know who Gregg is, but if not, let me remind you. 2010. Wizards of Waverly Place. Mason, the Werewolf. Ok, he was also on Pretty Little Liars, but who’s counting. Anyway, this movie is a classic Cinderella tale, which we all pretend we’re over with, but really aren’t.
The ‘Austin Powers’ Trilogy
Get ready for all three Austin Powers movies to make their Netflix debut. Produced, written by, and starring Mike Myers as both Powers and Dr. Evil, Austin Powers is the perfect family movie night comedy to watch when home for the holidays.
‘A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby’
The threequel to the 2017 film A Christmas Prince and the 2018 film The Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, you guessed it—this one involves a baby! If you haven’t seen the other films in this trilogy, I would suggest doing so before this one. Basically, they’re complete classics, and I’m just confused why these movies aren’t winning all the Oscars.
‘Marriage Story’
Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver star in this film about a stage director and his actor wife who struggle through a coast-to-coast divorce that pushes them to their extremes. The story is personal, captivating, and has connections to any family. This is definitely a great movie to watch during the winter season, and it’s already getting major Oscar buzz.
‘Soundtrack’ – Season 1
This new series is about music that connects the lives of random people throughout Los Angeles. This new High School Musical-esque show is coming to Netflix, and I couldn’t be more excited to watch while avoiding all my responsibilities. I have been waiting for the day to love a show as much as 10-year-old me loved High School Musical and this is finally it (I hope).
‘YOU’ – Season 2
Warning: Spoiler Alert
After the dramatic events of last season that saw Joe Goldberg (played by Penn Badgley—or Gossip Girl, as I still like to call him) murder his obsession Guinevere Beck, fans were left on a huge cliffhanger. In season 2, Joe has already moved on from Beck and has his eyes set on a brand-new victim. This thrilling series will have you at the edge of your seats…not gonna lie, way too scary for me. So, you all enjoy it and have fun with your nightmares! I’ll be sleeping like a baby, don’t mind me.
‘Fuller House’ – Season 5
Unlike the original show, Fuller House is centered around the next generation of Tanneritos: D.J., Stephanie, and D.J.’s quirky best friend, Kimmy Gibbler. Unfortunately, still no Olsen twins, which is pretty upsetting. But Fuller House‘s fifth and final season will welcome back several beloved Full House characters, including Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos. It doesn’t look like Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin), will be coming back due to her, um, legal situation, but I’m excited for the other characters to make their appearances. After this season, the Full House journey is officially coming to a close. Enjoy the Tanners while you can!
‘Glow Up’ – Season 1
This show is for you makeup lovers out there! On this new show, aspiring makeup artists battle to be named Britain’s next makeup star. According to Netflix, “they navigate colorful challenges to win a career-making opportunity in the beauty industry”. This intense competition will reveal the amazing things makeup can do and its ability to transform you, and probably has some amazing British accents to make it even better.
I hope you’re as excited about these movies and shows as I am. I am very ready for some new stuff in my Netflix queue, and I’m assuming the same goes for you. But when one door opens, another one closes, and there are a bunch of great movies and shows leaving Netflix this month too, including: Daddy Day Care, all the Rocky movies, The Pink Panther, Wet Hot American Summer, Billy Elliot, Frasier, About A Boy, Christmas with the Kranks, Get Santa, Leap Year, Mona Lisa Smile, and Schindler’s List. Sad! Binge these babies before time is up! Starting…now. Good luck!
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You made it through Thanksgiving, but there’s like, so much more holiday season to endure. That means more family, more spending money, more office parties, and more blizzards. What a joyous season. The only good part about December is that it means 2018 is slowly coming to an end. That’s a good thing at least. So to close out the year, here are some of our top movies and TV shows for you to watch on Netflix this December.
Dec 1: ‘The Big Lebowski’
My ex-boyfriend’s Instagram bio was “I don’t roll on Shabbos” and I thought that was a reference to rolling joints. Turns out it’s from this movie, which is about bowling. Basically, these two guys share the same name, Jeffrey Lebowski. But like, one’s an avid bowler and one’s a millionaire whose wife gets kidnapped. Millionaire Jeff doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, so he hires bowling star Jeff to go pay his wife’s ransom. Obviously, sh*t goes wrong because you trusted a guy who spends his time in rented shoes with your money and wife’s life. This movie is apparently a “cult favorite” and my ex-boyfriend’s, so go watch it.
Dec 1: ‘Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs’
This movie is pure nostalgia. Remember the book we all read and loved in like, elementary school or whatever? This is that, but with a twist. Flint Lockwood sucks at inventing things, but one day makes a food machine that flies up into the atmosphere and actually works. His town is f*cking thrilled (as one would be) but end up getting too greedy and fat making the machine go haywire. IDK about you, but this movie f*cking scared me when it originally came out in 2009. People were legit getting squashed by cheeseburgers and spaghetti tornados coming from the sky. Now thinking about it, that sounds like a pretty good way to go.
Dec 1: ‘8 Mile’
Once you’ve binged Lady Gaga and Demi Lovato’s documentaries, you can move on to this. It’s not really a documentary, but more ~based on a true story~. Eminem plays Jimmy, a guy from Detroit who hates his life working at a car factory and want to be a rapper. Brittany Murphy (RIP) plays Jimmy’s love interest and has sex with him in the car factory cause she finds it hot that he stands up for his gay co-worker, Paul, who was getting insulted via rap battle. If that’s not reason enough to watch this, here’s another: Mom’s spaghetti.
Dec 7: ‘Free Rein: The 12 Neighs of Christmas’
If you’ve already watched The Princess Switch and are still in need of your terribly wonderful cheesy Christmas movie, look no further. This movie is based on the show Free Rein, a British TV series with major horse-girl energy. Zoe drops a Christmas ornament and somehow discovers a ~family secret~. Who TF hides family secrets inside Christmas ornaments? How did you even get it in there anyways? This movie includes a Mistletoe Ball, evil b*tch boss, hot elf man, and some sort of Santa in a shack—I like it already.
Dec 7: ‘Dumplin’
This movie is what would happen if Toddlers & Tiaras suddenly became woke. The movie stars plus-size teen Willowdean Dickson (find a more southern name, I actually dare you), who signs up for her mom’s pageant because she wants to start a “revolution in heels”. This is the feminist, body-loving movie I’ve been waiting for. I feel like this is a role Rachel Green would’ve died for had she taken up an acting career. I’m just praying it doesn’t turn out like Sierra Burgees Is A Loser because that was an abomination. Besides, how could something with Jen Aniston AND Dolly Parton SINGING be bad? The answer is simple, it cannot.
Dec 7: ‘The American Meme’
Be #cultured and spend your time watching a documentary starring the likes of Paris Hilton, The Fat Jewish, Emily Ratajkowski, Hailey Baldwin, and more. Watch how these influencers with literally no talent other than posting photos make a sh*t ton more money than you. After showing at the Tribeca Film Festival earlier this year, Netflix jumped to purchase this work of art. Any movie where Paris Hilton and The Fat Jewish are quoted as experts is one I want to see. This documentary may or may not be educational, but either way, it’s going to be entertaining.
Dec 16: ‘Baby Mama’
This movie is one of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s best works. Kate, played by Tina Fey, is a single businesswoman who put her career before her personal life and forgets to have a baby. The struggle is f*cking real. She can’t get pregnant or adopt, so she hires Angie, played by Amy Poehler, as the surrogate. Angie fakes her pregnancy for a little while thinking she could just steal Kate’s money and peace. But then she ends up actually being pregnant with her own baby.
Dec 14: ‘Fuller House’ Season 4
This show is absolute garbage yet I find myself binge watching it with a half-empty bottle of wine more often than not. Nothing will ever live up to the original Full House, but this show has made it four seasons, so I guess it has to be kind of good? Mary-Kate and/or Ashley have still not returned as Michelle and that’s thoroughly disappointing. But there’s a Christmas episode included in this season, so it’s totally festive. Joey dresses up as Santa so like, that might be charming or scary depending on who you are. And we get to find out the fate of Danny Tanner’s love life after Vicky made a return at the end of season three. Thrilling.
Dec 14: ‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina: A Midwinter’s Tale’
Even though it only came out a month ago, you’ve probably already binged the entire season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. If you aren’t scared sh*tless of this show by now, get ready for their holiday special. Christmas time means that the Church of Night (a totally not suspicious name) celebrates the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. They all sit around a fire and tell ghost stories. Sounds cute and harmless until you remember that they all literally worship the devil. This is def not your traditional Hallmark holiday special, but if you’re a spooky b*tch, you’ll enjoy it.
Dec 14: ‘The Fix’
Does reading about the state of our crumbling world make you want to hide in a cave for the rest of existence? Yes? Then this is the show for you. Netflix’s latest panel show hosts top comedians and poses them with questions about how to solve some of the world’s greatest conundrums. Will they solve anything? Probably not. Will they be a hell of a lot closer than our current government is to solving anything? Definitely.
Dec 21: ‘Back With The Ex’
The title of this show is also known as the worst possible text message you could ever send to or receive from your best friend. This Australian reality show takes four singles and reconnects them with their exes. I think I would rather tweeze every hair on my body than partake in this, but I’m totally down to watch other people try. The only thing that would make this show better is if there was a Bachelor(ette) spin-off where they put former couples back in the mansion together. I want a full Jake and Vienna breakup meltdown all over again.
Dec 25: ‘Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown’ Season 11
The second last season of Anthony Bourdain’s show is coming to Netflix to on Christmas, how pleasant. *Wipes tears*. As a world-famous chef and travel documentarian, Bourdain explores unusual foods and fascinating places around the world. This season takes us through West Virginia, Uruguay, Newfoundland, Armenia, Hong Kong, Berlin, Louisiana, and Bhutan.
Dec 26: ‘YOU’
Just in case you needed to hate Dan Humphrey a little more, here it is. Penn Badgley plays Joe Goldberg, a bookstore owner (classic Dan) who develops a crush on an aspiring writer, Beck. Aw, cute. Until it’s not. Turns out, Beck has sh*t privacy settings and Joe knows a thing or two about stalking people (perhaps from his days as Gossip Girl?). In true Dan Humphrey fashion, what starts out as an innocent crush on Serena Beck eventually turns like, criminal. Explore the blurred lines between love-struck or dangerously obsessed with this feel-good show that reminds us all that men are trash.
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