Nothing is worse than being down to have sex but feeling uncomfortable taking off your clothes. Being confident in bed is a major turn-on, but the fact of life is unless you’re Lizzo, you probably aren’t feeling yourself at all times. Maybe you’re getting your period and feel super bloated. Or you have a pimple the size of Mount Everest on your forehead and the thought of getting down in missionary while your partner makes eye contact with it is a major mood killer. I get it. I’m all for that self-love crap, but it just doesn’t always cut it. Sex can be uncomfortable and embarrassing (as we know from these uber awkward celebrity sex stories), but there are tons of ways to help boost your confidence and make you more comfortable in bed. Besides, the more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you’ll be and the more fun you’ll both have (and likely, the better it will feel). But other than wearing sexy lingerie or dimming the lights, there are certain sex positions that make you feel confident. Because confidence is sexy.
Who says “Sex positions” can’t include solo ones? Hear me out. Being comfortable and confident in bed stems from being comfortable with yourself. Knowing what you like and how you like it is extremely sexy. So how else will you know what to tell your BF to do if you don’t explore yourself first?
Like I’ve said before and I’ll say again (sorry for being preachy), if you’re confident with yourself, you’ll exert more confidence. Duh. But to do this, focus on your favorite body part and put it on full display. So if you’re super confident in your rack, climb on top and let your partner get an unobstructed view. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of my boobs. They are large and heavy and bounce around. But hey, I guess that’s what my boyfriend likes about them. So cowgirl might not do it for me, but for you it could be one of those sex positions that make you feel confident. An added plus is that you’ll be in full control and guys find that super sexy.
Similar to the above, focus on your fav asset. If that’s your ass, then turn around and do it from behind. If 2016 on has taught me anything, it’s that people love butts—even just looking at them. But it’s 2019, we’re eating ass now, so you might want to kick it up a notch. If your hair is long enough to put it in a ponytail, do it. Your bae can pull on your hair as you arch your back. Not only will he see your whole behind, but the arched back creates a super sexy position that you’ll both love.
Sometimes doggy isn’t my thing. The penetration can be so deep that it genuinely hurts, but if I’m bloated it’s my favorite position since my stomach cannot be seen. This is why I love reverse cowgirl. My ass is on full display, my stomach is hidden, and I’m in full control. Win-win-win, am I right? It’s also not a super frequent position in our repertoire (although it should be) so when I suggest it, my boyfriend gets super excited. The reassurance that I’m doing something he loves is a major confidence booster.
Contrary to Coach Carr, do it in missionary. It may seem v boring, but trust me. Lying on your back and letting him have full control may sound lazy, but if you throw in some instructions and boss him around a little, it’ll quickly turn from a super passive to a super active position. He’ll have the reversal of the typical dominant and submissive roles that are associated with missionary. Knowing what you want and communicating that to your partner is super sexy. Being a boss makes anyone super confident in bed; that’s just a fact. If you haven’t tried it, I highly suggest.
Another spin on doggy is this baby. It’s essentially the same, but you brace yourself up against a sofa. What’s so sexy about this position? Getting down and dirty outside the bedroom can feel super deviant and hot, which are both major confidence boosters. Sometimes the bed can feel repetitive, so why not change things up? Just make sure your roommates aren’t home (if you have them) or the couch doesn’t shift too much. Who knows, maybe this will open up the door to having sex around your entire apartment.
If all else fails, ask your bae what they like. Not only is open communication key to good sex, but it also allows them to vocalize what they like and don’t like. So you know next time when you kiss their neck or whatever, you’ll get a good reaction from them and a little confidence boost for yourself.
Images: Kristina Petrick / Unsplash; Giphy (3)
Spring is officially here which means it’s officially all about you season. Cold weather forces you to think about other people, namely, which of these other people can I convince to stay inside and watch Netflix with me all season. But cuffing season is officially over so the only thing you have to be codependent with right now is yourself. You deserve the best, so in honor of you, here’s several ways to treat yourself this season. You’re such a good girlfriend. To yourself, that is.
1. Hit Up A Korean Day Spa
If Soko Glam has taught us anything, it’s that Korean people know how to pamper your skin. You might have to take an Uber into Queens but a Korean
daiye day spa is worth the trek. You can spend the day in hot springs style pools, chillin’ in a sauna, getting a massage, or updating your #skinnygoals by watching the obscenely thin Kpop girls in the music videos they play in the lounge. Just make sure there isn’t a dead guy in the hot tub.
2. Go To A Rooftop Pool And Make Your Backburner Bro Take Pics Of You
Rooftop pools are a perfect combo of being down to earth and also above everyone else. The pool party reminds everyone that you’re super chill and would be a great person to take on vacation while the rooftop part reminds everyone that you are still looking down on them. If your backburner bro is well behaved, you can bring him with you and make him take photos of you until you find a new pic worthy of your Instagram.
3. Buy Last-Minute Tickets To A Concert Tonight And Get Dressed Up With A Friend
Get super dressed up with a friend just to go to a concert you two had no idea you were going to until today. Treat it like something you’ve been looking forward to and see if you can out-fan the actual fans there. If you can get into a football team just because the guy you’re dating is into them, you can get into a band just because you got last-minute tickets to see them.
4. Do A Wine Tasting Tour In Your City
Most wine shops have tasting times, and if you live in an urban city then chances are you’re surrounded by wine shops. Go for a mini tour by going to free tastings in all the wine shops in a neighborhood. You can stop at a deli for cheese and crackers in between. Plus you might actually learn a little more about wine, so basically you could call it auditing class. You’re so resourceful.
5. Take A Beyoncé Dance Class
Sometimes you just want to feel like queen, more than you already are. Take a dance class where you can rock out to Beyoncé songs with sexy choreography. Perfect pregame to drunk brunch, since you’ll already be feeling ready to party. Make sure you get a good boomerang for your Instagram story.
6. Buy Our Shop Betches Robes
Are you still wearing a towel around yourself like a poor college student? Get these Shop Betches robes and feel classy AF walking around in your house. These robes are the ultimate treat for yourself because they’re comfortable, sexy, and they have a personality—kinda like you. The robes come with various funny sayings for different occasions—like brunch or Champagne time, two totally separate things—and there’s even a custom text option if you’re feeling witty. So you agree, you think you’re more clever than us? Go ahead, create your own robe and send us a pic and we might share it. You can buy one, or one hundred, right here.
Shop the entire Shop Betches loungewear here!