You guys, I’m like totally buggin’. Variety reports that Clueless, the iconic 90s movie, is getting a remake. Apparently, Paramount is working on the film, with Tracy Oliver, a writer from Girl’s Trip, producing. And one of the writers and story editors on GLOW, that Netflix show about wrestling, has been hired to write the script. Seems like they have a pretty good team so far. That’s pretty much all we know about the remake, so the rest of this article will be wild speculation from me.
We don’t know who will play any of the roles in the Clueless remake, but personally I think that except for Brittany Murphy (RIP), they literally don’t need to hire a new cast. Paul Rudd looks the same as he did 20 years ago. So does Alicia Silverstone. So, even, does Stacey Dash, which is a pretty impressive feat considering that being problematic tends to make people age at a faster rate than normal (just look at Kellyanne Conway if you don’t believe me).
Personally, I want to be excited about this, but I can’t help but feeling a bit of dread. I feel like the nostalgia trend has officially gone too far. Clueless is perfect the way it is, and you just don’t mess with perfection. (You just don’t!) There needs to be like the 90s pop culture version of a Disney vault, where we can put some of the classics in and NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH THEM. Because unless the Clueless remake is literally funnier and more iconic than the original, it’s just going to taint the movie for me. But whatever, I’m a cynic. It takes a lot to get me excited these days.
But while we’re on the topic of reminiscing, here are a few fun facts you never knew about the OG Clueless.
1. There were 53 different costume pieces made of tartan and plaid worn in the movie. The last time I saw that much plaid was a hipster party in Bushwick.
2. Zooey Deschanel auditioned for the role of Cher. Now, this is sending me into an existential crisis. If Zooey had played Cher, would that have changed the entire trajectory of her career? Or would we have gotten a quirky awkward high school Queen Bee with bangs and big chunky glasses? You know what, I don’t even want to think about it.
3. At the time of filming, Brittany Murphy was literally a virgin who couldn’t drive. Way harsh, Tai.
4. In real life, Cher’s house is in The Valley. *The horror*
5. The director saw Suck and Blow played at a party and decided to include it in the movie, but none of the actors were good enough at the game. So instead of playing it for real, they had to wear a shit ton of Chapstick and use a piece of cardboard with disguised holes to help the actors. What is this, amateur hour?
Images: Giphy (2)