The Best Steals Nordstrom Rack Has To Offer

If you’re like me, the virus has put a hold on many things, but online shopping is certainly not one of them. In fact, every time boredom strikes, I can’t help but browse all of the sales currently happening. Like, Tom Ford is literally 60% off Nordstrom Rack right now… how does one resist such an opportunity?

The answer: we don’t. 

I’m justifying this spending by telling myself I would have spent this money going out to dinner on single meals, but instead now I’m investing in pieces that will last me a lifetime. Cost per wear, if you may. 

So, I’m going to give you a breakdown of my favorite sales at a little store called Nordstrom Rack, where designer items go when all else fails. Here are a few must haves so you can feel ~cool for the summer~ ….or whichever season we’re finally allowed back in public again.

Accessories

As a little black dress is a staple in all wardrobes, a little (medium/large) tote should be as well. Black is on trend every day of every season, and that will never change. Marc Jacobs is having a super sale (50% sitewide), but Nordstrom is one-upping their sale with 60% or more off their Marc Jacobs inventory. 

There are a few choices for black totes, but The Tag 27 Leather Tote is my personal favorite. It differs from the basic tote (which is good, because you can also get that at Zara for $20) and still adds some zest to a classic look. It also comes in pink, which is less practical than the black, but do you. Both colors are currently retailing for $149.47 (originally $395) at a 62% discount. 

Marc Jacobs the tag 27 tote

Marc Jacobs The Tag 27 Leather Tote

Neon had a moment last summer, and tie-dye is having its moment this summer. But, given the fact that 2020 has been put on hold thus far, a neon bag will hold its power for a second season and can still be considered a staple statement piece when paired with the correct outfit. 

I am loving the Atlas Neon Leather Shoulder Bag from Rag & Bone, which is currently retailing for $299.97, at a 52% discount. Brands like Gucci have released their color collections for summer, which retail around 2k, so this piece is a steal. The braided strap gives it an edgy touch, and can be paired with a leather jacket to complete the vibe or a classic monochromatic blazer/bike short outfit to add some spice and contrast. Either way, it’s a worthy purchase in my book.  

Rag & Bone Atlas Neon Leather Bag

Rag & Bone Atlas Neon Leather Shoulder Bag

I used to not give a sh*t about sunglasses, but then I moved to NYC and realized that $10 sunglasses from Forever 21 were social suicide. Of course, I’m not bashing anyone who doesn’t want to splurge on sunglasses, but if you do seek designer shades, Nordstrom Rack has you covered. I literally can’t narrow it down to a single recommendation, so I’ll share a few of my current favorites.

If you’ve been on Instagram, you’ve seen the rising trend in monochromatic pastel sunglasses. This pair from Prada sticks out to me, because it’s not the impractical tiny sunglasses we saw last summer, but it still brings the sunshine to your look. I’m drawn to the green, but if the pink brings out your inner Barbie, then so be it. Originally retailing for $258, you can now get this pair for $119.97, at 54% off, which is a rarity for Prada, so take advantage. 

Prada 56mm Cat Eye Sunglasses

Tom Ford sunglasses are a hit or miss for me (some of the styles are TOO ugly-chic) but when they’re good, they’re great. The Anna style are my absolute favorite because they literally look good on everyone. They’re the perfect dose of subtle and sexy, and the gold accent makes everything better. Originally retailing at $430 (ouch), a 63% discount has allowed for us to purchase them at $159.97. If you know Tom Ford, you know this is a worthy STEAL.

Tom Ford Anna 49mm Modified Cat Eye Bar Sunglasses

Keeping the spirit of tie dye/pastels alive, these Gucci aviators are a chic seasonal way to take your look to the next level, and just looking at them makes me crave summer. I’m not even actually sure if we’ll be able to socialize this summer, but that won’t stop the sun from shining, and glasses are a long-term necessity. I like this pair because the style itself is simple, unlike some of Gucci’s more, shall we say, unconventional pairs, but still gives you a flash. OG price was $390, and these cuties are 67% off (best deal yet) so you can grab them for $129.97. Worth it. 

GUCCI 59mm Aviator Sunglasses

Footwear

Shoes are hard because trends change with the wind, but there are a few styles that never expire. A strappy sandal, a white sneaker, and booties all have stood the test of time.

Unpopular opinion, but when it comes to sandals, I care less about the designer and more about the actual look. I’ve gotten more compliments on my Steve Madden basics than my Louboutins, and that sums it up in my book. The Sam Edelman Ariella Ankle Strap Sandal is the best kind of basic and comes in black and nude, the only two colors that ACTUALLY matter in a shoe. They’re currently on sale for $31.98, originally retailing at $100, and are well worth it. 

Sam Edelman Ariella Ankle Strap Sandal

Sneakers have taken the fashion world by storm over the last few years, and can now be paired with a suit or dress and still make sense. To this day, my go-to combo remains an all white sneaker with a white tube sock. It’s comfy, it’s chic, and it’s cool. I love the Arelle Exaggerated Sole Sneaker from Steve Madden (in white). They’re only 40% off (rude) but currently an extra 20% (nice) and retailing at $47.98 instead of $100. Cute.

Steve Madden Arelle Exaggerated Sole Sneaker

I know the thought of purchasing booties in May is rather nauseating, but I promise it’s worth it. Stuart Weitzman is 68% off at Nordstrom Rack, which I found rather shocking, but also thrilling. It’s a bit jarring how many businesses are hurting, but I will humbly take the discounted booties in the meantime. The Quinn Block Heel Bootie was my choice purchase this time around, because a classic black bootie is always a safe, chic bet. These are still typically more than I’d spend on a bootie at $189.97… but, they were originally $595, so if there was ever a time to splurge on a shoe, it’s now. 

Stuart Weitzman Quinn Block Heel Bootie

Clothing

The bulk of Nordstrom Rack deals fall in the clothing department, which has just about everything you can think of. Narrowing down 40,000+ choices to my top favorites—no problem. It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it, so please thank me in the form of DMing me with your favorite sales happening. I can shop more and you can save money, a win/win.

I’m starting with leggings, because that is the closest thing to a pant I’ve put on in two months. They’re debatably the most important piece of clothing in and out of quarantine, and therefore, brand/quality matters. 90 Degree By Reflex has their Interlink Side Pocket High Waist Leggings on super sale right now, and once again I’m shocked because these are a hot commodity. They’re a whopping 75% off and currently retailing for $19.97 (originally $78). These leggings have pockets, and I assume you’re sold by that statement alone, so I’ll move on. 

90 Degree By Reflex Interlink Side Pocket High Waist Leggings

All leggings need their partner-in-crime, a comfy sweatshirt. There are a million and one cute sweatshirts available, but my current favorite is the Champion Campus French Terry Cropped Crew Neck Pullover. I feel sort of like a hype kid for loving this (maybe I’ve been watching too much TikTok???) but IDC because it’s cute. It’s on sale for $36.97, which might crush your soul given that Champion used to be $5 at Walmart back in the day, but times are changing and it’s better than its $55 original price tag. 

Champion Campus French Terry Cropped Crew Neck Pullover

As mentioned earlier, summer is still up in the air, but warm weather is not. So, you might as well be prepared in the event that we are allowed outside in the coming months with some cute pieces! Let’s think positively. 

I have such a thing for modernized prairie dresses, and I think they bring sunshine to anyone’s look. This is a staple for me starting May 1, and I essentially wear different versions of the same dress daily until it snows again (half kidding). REFORMATION has a great sale going on at Nordstrom Rack, and the Napa Wrap Midi Dress is on sale for $79.97—that’s a 63% discount from the original $218 price tag. I firmly believe that all-purpose dresses are always worth the purchase because they work for work, happy hour, your best friend’s baby shower, and your next vacation. 

Reformation Napa Wrap Midi Dress

If there is ONE item that actually has never gone out of style, it’s the jean jacket. Like, there are photos of my 60-year-old parents rocking jean jackets throughout their lives, and it’s still a closet staple now all these years later. One would assume that 90% of us have the classic denim jacket in our closets, and it’s time to spruce things up. I am loving this Rag & Bone Snakeskin Print Crop Fray Denim Jacket because it’s keeping the animal print spirit alive, but in a new form. No, I don’t want to see your cheetah bodysuit or booties again this year, but YES, I do want to see your secretly snakeskin jean jacket. This one in particular is 68% off, previously $495, but now $157.48. A ssssssteal. 

Rag & Bone Snakeskin Print Crop Fray Denim Jacket

And there we have it. Wow. So many deals, so little time. Honestly, Nordstrom Rack is adding new cute stuff daily (I’m not being paid to say this, in fact I’m only losing money every time I am on their site) and helps me get the designer clothes I want at a price I can actually (almost) afford. So if and when you are ready to shop till you drop, you know where to find the best deals.

You know you love me, xoxo, quarantined girl.

Images: @socialcut / Unsplash; Nordstrom Rack

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

5 Labor Day Weekend Sales You Don’t Want To Miss

Labor Day Weekend kicks off today, and my wish for you is two-fold: I hope today is not only the first day of your long weekend, but that it’s also pay day. I’m not saying that just because you’re going to need that direct deposit to fund your weekend of binge drinking spiked seltzers, but also because you’re going to need sufficient funds to take advantage of all the incredible Labor Day Weekend sales, most of which have already started. LDW is the last big weekend for summer sales, and there are some good ones you don’t want to miss out on. Here are the best Labor Day Weekend sales to blow your hard-earned paycheck on.

1. Urban Outfitters: Extra 40% Off Sale (No Code Necessary)

UO Zella Ruched Tie-Shoulder Tank Top ($59 $20.99)

Capulet UO Exclusive Elodie Smocked Square Neck Midi Dress ($239 $59.99)

Urban Renewal Remnants Blown Out Gingham Tiered Dress ($69 $17.99)

DL1961 Hepburn High-Rise Wide Leg Jean ($199 $65.99)

The East Order Janie Embroidered Peplum Top ($139 $47.99)

To celebrate this LDW, Urban Outfitters is doing an ADDITIONAL 40% off sale, which is amazing. You can get incredible pieces at even more incredible prices, like the above pair of light wash DL1961 jeans which are normally $199 and are now $65.99. That’s a deal you can’t argue with, especially for a high quality pair of super cute jeans. I mean, you’re basically saving money by buying them.

2. Reformation: Up To 70% Off Sale (No Code Necessary)

Sarah Dress ($178 $115.70)

Julia High Cigarette Jean ($128 $64)

Amelia Top ($48 $33.60)

Kayla Dress ($148 $44.40)

Lizzy Dress ($78 $50.70)

If you’re like me and are obsessed with Reformation, but don’t have the finances to support your obsession, I have good news. Reformation is having their summer sale right now, with their sale assortment all currently up to 70% off. You can definitely snag some great deals and, considering Reformation rarely ever has sales, I’d say go all in. The “add to cart” button just became your new best friend (and your wallet’s greatest enemy).

3. South Moon Under: Additional 50% Off Final Sale (No Code Necessary)

Juniper Blu Open Knit Pullover ($74 $22.48)

Winston White Ruched Front Cutout Mini Dress ($136 $42.48)

Minkpink Chambray Ruff Stuff Romper ($89 $19.98)

Fate by LFD Tie Dye Destroyed Sweater ($88 $27.48)

Show Me Your MuMu Ruthie Ruffle Dress ($154 $49.98)

If you’re a proud member of #BachelorNation, then you know that Show Me Your MuMu is a go-to brand for many of the women of The Bachelor franchise. And, if you’ve ever looked up their stuff, then you know it’s not exactly easy on the wallet. But don’t get discouraged, because right now South Moon Under has a bunch of Show Me Your MuMu pieces on sale with an ADDITIONAL 50% off! Even if you’re not an aspiring #BachelorNation influencer, I guarantee you’ll love their clothes, plus all the other incredible pieces you can purchase at 50% off right now.

4. Anthropologie: Additional 50% Off Sale (No Code Necessary)

Pilcro High-Rise Flare Jeans ($150 $44.98)

Windham Tunic ($78 $19.98)

Demeter Tiered Midi Dress ($160 $49.98)

Marta Puff-Sleeved Blouse ($98 $29.98)

Mackenzie Striped Wide-Leg Pants ($130 $34.98)

Another can’t-miss sale is Anthropologie’s holiday weekend sale, where they’re doing an additional 50% off sale prices. If you’re in need of workwear pieces, then now is definitely the time to shop. Of course, they have really great weekend-worthy pieces as well, and now with the sale you can actually afford this stuff instead of just choosing from what’s left in the sad, picked-over sale room.

5. Forever21: Additional 60% Off Sale (Code: ADD2CART)

Satin Cami & Skirt Set ($38 $13.68)

Buckle Strap Bodycon Dress ($22.90 $8.00)

Jaguar Print Bodysuit ($22.90 $8.24)

Off-the-Shoulder Top ($35 $11.20)

Belted Surplice Cami Romper ($35 $12.60)

For all the “babes on a budget” (aka my fellow broke-ass bitches), brace yourselves, because Forever 21 is doing an ADDITIONAL 60% off sale. Like, you can probably get 1,579 things for a total of $100 right now. Yes, that was an exaggeration and, realistically, you might only get one wear out of each piece. But then again, who the f*ck cares when your top only costs $5 anyway? Plus, in today’s Instagram-obsessed world, you tend to really only wear your clothes a few times, so it honestly works out fine.

Friendly reminder from yours truly that Labor Day Weekend sales are the last big holiday sale we have until Black Friday. That being said, please join me in doing the financially responsible thing of maxing out all my credit cards this weekend and then rebuilding my available balance so I can blow it all again come November.

Images: @max_libertine / Unsplash; Urban Outfitters (5), Reformation (5), South Moon Under (5), Anthropologie (5), Forever 21 (5)
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

7 Brands Celebrities Love That You Can Afford

Celebrities, they’re just like us! Except… they’re not. They have seemingly endless bank accounts, meanwhile I’m over here checking my PNC app before ordering a drink at Starbucks. Unlike us mere mortals, celebs can afford to spend thousands of dollars on one bottle of champagne, or even on a pair of Gucci shoes for their six-month-old baby. Basically, most celebs have the luxury of a high-rolling income, and therefore dress accordingly. However, in today’s society where the 1% are considered to be the spawn of Satan, it’s no longer likable for celebs to constantly be only dressed in designer threads. Thus, high-low dressing was born.

High-low dressing is mixing expensive designer pieces with pieces from more affordable fashion brands. This has become the signature means of styling among Hollywood’s elite; it’s not only more relatable, but it also proves that the celeb has legit style. Like, anyone can look fashionable when they’re dressed in head-to-toe Chanel. But, what’s more impressive is someone who can put together a look combining pieces from both Zara and Zimmerman and STILL look like a million bucks (without actually spending it). Here are the fashion brands that celebrities love, and that you too can afford.

1. AGoldE

AGoldE is a premium denim brand that was born back in 1989 but recently relaunched in 2014. They’re based in LA, and are a sub-brand of Citizens of Humanity, but at a slightly lower price point. They tend to create trendier styles than their parent brand and are known for comfort and fit. This denim brand is a go-to for celebs such as Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner, and Sofia Richie. The price range for their jeans is roughly $128-$208, which definitely isn’t as good a price point as, say, Topshop jeans, but still beats its premium denim competitors.

AGoldE Quinn Hi Rise Mini Skirt In Vega ($128)

AGoldE 90’s Mid Rise Loose Fit In Fall Out ($188)

AGoldE Sophie Hi Rise Skinny Crop In Spell ($148)

2. Luv AJ

Luv AJ is the latest jewelry brand that I’m obsessing over, and apparently, all the celebs are too. Gawd, I’m like such a trendsetter!  Jk. In reality, Hailey Baldwin bought Luv AJ hoops, so I bought Luv AJ hoops. Hailey isn’t the only stylish celeb who’s loving this brand right now. It’s also a go-to fav for Bella Hadid, Emily Ratajkowski, and even Queen Bey! The jewelry brand’s prices range roughly anywhere from $35-$165.

Luv AJ Skinny Amalfi Hoops ($75)

Luv AJ x SABO LUXE The Isidore Cross Charm Necklace ($95)

Luv AJ The Evil Eye Coin Signet Pinky Ring ($35)

3. I.AM.GIA

If you know who Kaia Gerber is, then you probably know the brand I.AM.GIA. This brand recently made its name on the fashion scene and quickly gained a cult-like celebrity following. Their clothes are edgy and cool. With prices ranging from $60-$250, it seems to have become a wardrobe staple of Hollywood’s “it” girls. Those currently loving I.AM.GIA include Bella Hadid, Emily Ratajkowski, and Jordyn Woods.

I. AM. GIA Jupiter Bodysuit ($72)

I. AM. GIA Ursa Pant ($151)

I. AM. GIA Pixie Coat ($79)

4. LEVI’S

Call it a comeback. In the past few years, Levi’s once again made a name for themselves in the closets of Hollywood’s elite. And, fortunately for us peasants, Levi’s prices have still remained totally affordable. Of course, if you try to get a pair of Levi’s from their brand collaboration with RE/DONE, then you might as well just sell your left kidney. But, if you get yourself some classic Levi’s, it will be a lot easier on your wallet and you’ll still look trendy AF. Levi’s have quickly become a wardrobe staple of A-listers like Rihanna, Kourtney Kardashian, and Romee Strijd.

LEVI’S 501 Skinny ($98)

LEVI’S Baggy Trucker Jacket ($98)

LEVI’S Deconstructed Skirt ($98)

5. Quay

Quay sunglasses are the epitome of everything you want and need in a pair of shades. These shades are trendy, high-quality, and right around a $50-$65 price range. They’re also an essential in Gigi Hadid’s closet, who seems to legit own every pair ever made by this brand. For someone so rich and famous, you’d think her sunnies would be a lot more expensive, right? Maybe she’s just responsibly irresponsible, just like us, and has a bad habit of losing all her sunnies at day-longs and tailgates? Eh, unlikely. Realistically, she’s probs leaving them in the backs of limos that she takes to her runway shows. Besides Gigi, Quay sunglasses are also a fav of Kylie Jenner, JLo, and Jessica Alba. (Oh, and they’re way cuter than the DIFF Eyewear sunglasses celebs pretend to love.)

Quay X Desi Perkins High Key Mini Aviator ($65)

Quay DON’T @ ME Cat Eye ($65)

Quay MOD STAR Round ($60)

6. Brandy Melville

Sure, your 12-year-old cousin may be wearing Brandy Melville, but so are your favorite celebs. Maybe it’s because most celebrities have the thin frame of a 12-year-old girl… regardless, Brandy Melville has some amazing pieces, all of which pretty much remain under $50. Their whole “one size fits all” BS is annoying and even though I def can’t even fit my big toe into their pants, I love to wear their trendy graphic tees and adorable dresses. Celebs that love Brandy Melville include Kaia Gerber, Kendall Jenner, Lucy Hale, and Chantel Jeffries. 

Brandy Melville Anne Bodysuit ($24)

Brandy Melville Samantha Metallica Top ($28)

Brandy Melville Athelia Knit Top ($32)

7. Reformation

Reformation is, as Paris Hilton would say, a v “hot” brand right now. The brand itself is very #woke in their approach to sustainable fashion, and celebs can’t seem to get enough. Their pieces are feminine and minimalistic, with a vast price range. Pieces are anywhere from $28-$248. Reformation is beloved by celebs like Hailey Baldwin, Karlie Kloss, and Emily Ratajkowski, just to name a few.

Reformation Bardot Top ($48)

Reformation Crimini Dress ($128)

Reformation Marlon Pant ($158)

Images: AGoldE (3); Luv AJ; Revolve (5); I. AM. GIA (3); Quay (3); Brandy Melville (3); Reformation (3);
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

DASH Is Closing, So We Found The 10 Most Heinous Items Ever Sold

Remember when Kim’s voice was five octaves higher, Kourtney was hooking up with girls in Miami, and you dreamed of working as a DASH Doll? The Kardashian empire has come a long way, and as much as Kris Jenner would deny it, DASH has been outdated for a while now. The boutique used to be this exclusive and trendy brand, but now it’s just an old hobby that Kylie’s older sisters did before they all had nose jobs kids. The sisters just announced that all DASH stores are officially closing, so we thought we’d do one more dive through the website to see some of the weird shit that was being sold. Here are some of the worst things we found.

1. Acrylic DASH keychain

Because everyone wants a giant shiny DASH on their car keys. Subtle.

2. Lace Link Bra

Is it a necklace? A bra? A choker? An S&M toy? Yes to all the above. Also, probably a choking hazard.

3. Wildfox “I’m A Cat” Sweatshirt

Is it just me or is Wildfox getting less and less relatable as time goes on? Regardless, I’d like to find the Kardashian that approved this sweatshirt for the store.

4. ‘In The Kitchen With Kris’ Book

Just when you thought Kris Jenner was milking every ounce of her kids’ talents for fame, she suddenly shows up with her own cookbook and gets it in her daughters’ store. Also, like, *as if* she cooks.

5. FIRE Sabik Top

I think the only thing worse than wearing a bedazzled bandeau is wearing a bedazzled bandeau that says FIRE across your boobs in a weird Old English font. I’m concerned.

6. Shaker Toe Anklet

To commemorate that one episode where Khloé goes to Morocco.

7. Ruby Keyhole Bra

“I’m looking for a confusing and highly uncomfortable white lace bra that literally goes with nothing.”

8. Claudia Sheer Top

I can’t imagine a single time when this top would be appropriate. As if the pine green color isn’t bad enough, this is like, a fancy work top that happens to expose your nipples. Should I call HR?

9. Belmont Button Down Shirt

*Kourtney wears plaid once.*

10. DASH Dolman Long Sleeve Tee

Unless you worked at the store or bought this as a joke, there is no excuse for wearing this in public. I’m done.

Images: DASH (10)

The Heinous Fashion Choices From ‘The Bachelor’ Premiere That Are Still Haunting Us

Catch up on our Bachelor recap here!

It’s been two days since Arie’s season of The Bachelor kicked off, and I’m still fucking traumatized by some of the outfit choices these girls decided to wear. Last season, if you’ll recall, the girls decided to shake things up by showing up week after week looking ratchet AF to every rose ceremony. If Monday night’s episode was any indication, then we might be in for another rough fucking ride beauty-wise this season. Chelsea, single mother, first impression rose winner, and resident shit talker of this season said it best about Monday night’s looks: “the hair down and the boobs out.” Normally, I’d say cleavage is always a strong start to any relationship built entirely on first impressions and how slutty interesting you can appear in 15 seconds or less, but last episode proved that even great cleavage couldn’t save some of these looks. So here are the most heinous looks from this week’s episode of The Bachelor, ranked from meh to bad to fugly.

The Meh

Kendall, 26, Creative Director, Los Angeles, CA

I guess she was trying to be different and stand out with this particular fashion choice, but instead she just looks like she bought a nightie from Forever 21 and called it a day. She’s a creative director living in LA, so there’s a strong possibility that this dress could have been stolen off the set of a Freeform teen drama and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Tbh I might have been able to forgive the girl if parading around in poorly executed lingerie was her only offense—you know, points for trying to be different and everything. But she’s also the girl who was introduced as a “taxidermy enthusiast” *shudders* sooo it’s gonna be a no from me. 

Jessica, 26, TV Host, Canada

This girl came to the Bachelor mansion dressed like the mariachi girl emoji, and I just can’t unsee it. Sorry, Jess. I guess I just expected more from a stranger whom I know nothing about someone trying to find their husband on national television for the sake of my personal entertainment. I just had higher expectations. Like, maybe don’t show up dressed like the emoji I send in my group chat when I’m about to get fucked up for girls night. Those kinds of expectations.  

The Bad

Bri, 25, Sports Reporter, Portland, OR

Bri, I had high hopes for you. As someone who works with a bunch of dudes all day long, I thought you’d bro it out with Arie for at least for a few episodes, but I guess I was wrong about you and your Bump It. I actually didn’t hate the dress she wore. A sparkly evening gown is pretty basic as far as first night dresses go. That said, I couldn’t believe my eyes when she walked out of the limo with hair that channeled Snooki circa 2010. She was supposed to be the cool “I just get along better with guys” girl that I had going so far in my bracket! And then she showed up rocking a fucking Bump It. *takes deep, calming breaths* It’s probably best she left after night one. I’m not sure I could have withstood another week full of betrayals like that one.

Amber, 29, Business Owner, Denver, CO

Amber The Bachelor

What do you know, another loser from Monday night makes the list. Hmmm I’m starting to sense a pattern here—Arie got rid of most of the girls who showed up dressed like shit. Weirdly, this makes me actually want to root for him. Anyway, Amber, aka the girl who wailed “this was my time!!” into the cameras after she was eliminated on night one, showed up in a navy blue number that covered her entire body, aside from her shoulders and her ankles. Strike one. I’m sorry, but did you think this show was about having a great personality?? This is night one, girlfriend! You get 30-60 seconds to connect with make Arie want to bang you. You might get to say your name and your astrological sign one personal fact about yourself, but that’s pretty much it. If you’re not showing at least some side boob, then idk what you’re even doing on this show. Secondly, let’s talk about the color of this dress. Navy? Really? You’re a blonde girl named Amber competing with a horde of other blonde girls with equally generic names and you went with a navy dress? That doesn’t even show cleavage?? Yeah, it’s no surprise why you didn’t make it to sunrise. Next. 

The Fugly

Valerie, 25, Server, Nashville, TN

First of all, Val—can I call you Val?—I’m calling the fucking police on you, because this ensemble is a crime against humanity. How you managed to get through night one dressed like a bedazzled banana is so far beyond me. The color of that dress is personally offensive to me and the massive NYE hangover I was sporting while watching this episode. Seriously, whatever friend talked you into cashing in all your coupons at Wet Seal for this dress was trying to sabotage you. Val, you better step the fuck up with your outfit game if you want me to stop skewering you in my articles for the rest of the season.

Did you know we have a podcast dedicated to all things The Bachelor? Listen to The Betchelor podcast here!

Lord & Taylor Is Having A Sale On The Cutest Sweaters Right Now

In case you’ve somehow managed to avoid the internet, the outdoors, and basically every single member of the human race… it’s fucking freezing outside. Like, cold enough that there’s either going to be a baby boom nine months from now, or an end to civilization because nobody has the desire to leave their apartment. Up to you. Anyway, the only reasonable way to cope with this insane weather is to buy yourself a sweater. Lord and Taylor happens to be having a sale, so knock yourself out. Here are a few super perf sweaters: 

1. Calvin Klein Ribbed Lace-Up Sweater

This sweater is perfect for when your friend that you usually ditch invites you out for drinks and you feel obliged to go. You don’t want to put any effort into your appearance, but still kinda have to look cute. It’s like, just a plain sweater but features a lace-up design that will make it look a little less like you just threw on a sweater and probably have a sports bra underneath it.

2. Free People Sand Dune Pullover

This sweater is a little confusing. It’s kind of a crop top, but it’s also a billowy, baggy, comfy, fluffy sweater. Pair it with high waisted leggings and fuzzy socks for your next totally innocent “just lounging around on a snow day!” thirst trap

3. Miss Selfridge Embellished Bell-Sleeve Top

This sweater is so fucking extra that I almost hate it. But, similar to my addiction to any and all Real Housewives franchises, I’m going to defy all logic and totally live for it anyway. I can’t even look at this without hearing Napoleon Dynamite say “I like your sleeves. They’re real big.”

4. Lauren Ralph Lauren Cable Knit Open Front Cardigan

This cable knit cardigan is long as shit, which is always like, best case scenario when it’s freezing out. Once the temperature drops below freezing, I always just want to rip off the Olsen twins’ style and wear a million chunky layers that drag behind me on the ground. 

5. Free People Heart It Laces Sweater

This is basically a potato sack with a bow tied around it, and I’m sooo into it. Plus, you can totally wear it as a dress, too. Like, if it’s ever warm enough to wear a dress ever again. Idk.

Images: Brooke Cagle / Unsplash; Lord & Taylor (5)

Meet The Service That Is Literally The ClassPass Of Fashion

We’re all familiar with this dilemma: You need an outfit for . You find the perfect look, but see the price tag and are like, “Shit. I can’t spend that on something I’m only going to wear once.” Then you put everything back on the rack and go home in sadness to try Sears. Well, lucky for you, that situation is a thing of the past thanks to FashionPass. It combines our two favorite things things, ClassPass and fashion, to bring you an amazing wardrobe without all the commitment. I mean, you can barely commit to the same Hinge conversation for more than 24 hours, so why commit to an outfit for the rest of your life?

Here’s how it works: For a monthly fee that’s probably less than what you spend on takeout, FashionPass GO allows you to borrow and exchange clothes as many times as you want per month. All you have to do is wear ‘em, ‘Gram ‘em (because what’s the point of looking so good if there aren’t pics?), and send ‘em back. It’s basically an unlimited wardrobe delivered to your door every month. Crazy right?

Excited

And if you’re too much of a commitment-phobe to handle the monthly service (my condolences to any human who attempts a relationship with you), there are also one-time rentals, so you can make absolutely sure you’ll look amazing when crashing your ex’s wedding reception at your next event.

Dying to try it out? Well you’re in luck, because Betches readers can take $20 off your first 4 or 8 day rental, or 50% off your first month of FashionPass GO with the promo code BETCHES. You are so welcome. 

We’re Obsessed With Chrissy Teigen’s Collab With Revolve

Chrissy Teigen is our spirit animal IRL. I know no one ever says “spirit animal” anymore, but she’s the most relatable, real af, down-to-earth queen woman who rarely ever gives a fuck on social media. So, literally all of us. She’s fucking hilarious (RT @ChrissyTeigen), hella smart, has a family that’s #goals, can cook better than we ever could, gives clothes away because she is just so nice, and even pissed Trump off enough to get blocked by him on Twitter. It’s no surprise that we all aspire to be as betchy as her in every way possible. Not only does she have a bomb af makeup line, but now, we can channel our inner Chrissy in more ways than one. Chrissy’s fab collab with Revolve just launched and naturally, I’m buying one of everything as we speak.

Chrissy Insta

It’s mostly in black, so clearly, she knows what’s good. From little black dresses to to-die-for matcha pants to risqué tops that show off our “developing” abs, here are just a few of my faves (which doesn’t even cut it because I love everything, tbh). I’m not even mad that I’m spending every last dime to my name, though. Peace. Love. Chrissy.

Lip Sync Battle Chrissy

1. Chrissy Teigen x REVOLVE Gardenia Dress

Chrissy’s take on a LBD turns up the sex appeal by like, 10 notches on this little number. With cut-out sleeves, a deep neckline, and cinched waist to hide our bloat, the dress is perfect balance of slutty and classy. Those words are normally never in a sentence together, but Chrissy makes it fashion.

Dress

2. Chrissy Teigen x REVOLVE Matcha Pant in Black

All I’ve seen on the street is everyone wearing these pants. At first, I was hesitant to buy such an item of clothing, but now I def see why everyone’s obsessed. They’re comfy as hell and still fashion-forward enough to wear to a low-key office (or maybe just my office, but I can’t speak for everyone’s profession here) and of course, out to happy hour. Plus, with a black pair, you can wear them with anything. Duh. Pair with sock boots, block-heeled booties, flats, or—fuck it. Any shoe looks just as good.

Matcha Pant

3. Chrissy Teigen x REVOLVE L.A.X. Bustier

This is the next best thing to add to your closet after a LBD, because it’s v versatile so you can wear it like, more than a once a week and still get away with it. Since you can pair this top with any bottom of your choice, you can elevate even the laziest look (sweatpants, anyone?) to appear as though you made an attempt at dressing yourself.

LAX Bustier

4. Chrissy Teigen x REVOLVE Como Bodysuit

Bodysuits are such a necessity if you’re striving to look both v stylish and skinny at the same time. They come in so many styles and colors, it’s a wonder why we still own tops, honestly. That is, if we’re willing to look past the whole peeing shenanigans. This black off the shoulder bodysuit is plunging enough without actually showing a nip, and is so ideal for all those times when the weather is simply bipolar.

Bodysuit

5. Chrissy Teigen By RAYE Delta Bootie

These are the biggest shoe trend of the season, in case you haven’t noticed every celeb or store as of late. I basically have a pair in every color at this point, because they make my legs look long af, and I can honestly walk forever in them. Not only are they comfortable AF, but I still get compliments every time I wear them… Even though I wear them on a weekly basis. Needless to say, these are 100% worth every cent, so I def 10/10 recommend you cop this pair ASAP.

Booties

Read: Zara’s Cheaper Sister Brand Just Opened A Store In The U.S.