Adulthood Means Having a Favorite Sponge—This Is Ours

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In the world of cleaning, there are countless products to earn a spot in your kitchen. From sprays to scrubs, mops to squeegees, it can be overwhelming to decide which item is worth your hard-earned dollars. But when it comes to cleaning dishes, there’s one product taking the internet by storm. Meet the Scrub Daddy Smiley Sponge. This little guy might look cute and innocent, but don’t let its charming smile fool you, it’s a serious cleaning machine. It’s even gone viral on TikTok and is a staple in all those satisfying cleaning videos you can’t help but binge-watch.

First things first, let’s talk about the design. The Scrub Daddy is shaped like a smiley face, with a mouth that doubles as a scrubber. The eyes and nose are perfect for getting into tight corners and hard-to-reach spots. And the best part? The texture of the sponge changes based on the water temperature. In hot water, it becomes soft and pliable, making it perfect for tackling delicate dishes. In cold water, it becomes firm and tough, ideal for tackling the toughest baked-on grime.

But the Scrub Daddy isn’t just a pretty face. It’s also incredibly durable, lasting up to 10 times longer than traditional sponges. And because it doesn’t scratch surfaces, you can use it on everything from glass cooktops to non-stick pans without worrying about damage.


Trying Scrub Daddy! Does It Work? #scrubdaddy #cleaning #cleaningmotivation #satisfyingcleaning #asmrcleaning #cleaningasmr #cleantok #cleantoks

♬ origineel geluid – Cleaning The Dirtiest – Cleaning The Dirtiest

One of the things that sets the Scrub Daddy apart from other cleaning products is the material it’s made from. It’s constructed from a unique foam material that’s been engineered to resist odors and bacteria growth. That means no more smelly sponges that need to be replaced every few days. Plus, the foam is gentle on your hands, so you won’t end up with dry, cracked skin after a long cleaning session.

Another great feature of the Scrub Daddy is its versatility. It’s not just for dishes–you can use it to clean just about anything around the house. The scrubber is perfect for tackling stubborn soap scum in the bathroom, while the soft side is great for wiping down counters and appliances in the kitchen.

Maria Del Russo, Betches’ very-own branded and affiliate content director, uses the Scrub Daddy exclusively for cleaning. She loves how the spiky side around the top of the head get into all the nooks and crannies of her appliances—especially touch-to-clean spots, like around the burners of her stove. It’s the one sponge she has a recurring order subscription to on Amazon—that’s how much she loves it. (It’s also cheaper there then it probably is in your local grocery store FWIW.)

Overall, the Scrub Daddy Smiley Sponge is a great choice for anyone who wants to make cleaning a little more enjoyable. It’s durable, versatile, and fun to use. Why settle for a boring old sponge when you can have a smiley face that makes cleaning a little less miserable? Give the Scrub Daddy a try, ASAP.


Shop It: The Original Scrub Daddy Dish Sponge, $3.78, Amazon

Yes, You Really Do Need This Mini Desk Vacuum Cleaner

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Ladies and gentlemen, gather around–I have a life-changing product to introduce you to. It’s the pink mini desk vacuum cleaner, and trust me, you didn’t know you needed it until now. This little gadget is a game-changer for anyone who spends a lot of time at their desk (so, pretty much everyone these days).

Let’s start with the obvious–the color. The mini cleaner is an adorable shade of blush pink that will add a pop of color to any workspace. It’s the perfect way to inject some personality into your desk without going overboard.

But this mini vacuum isn’t just a pretty face. It’s also incredibly functional. Say goodbye to crumbs, dust, and other desk debris. The pink mini desk vacuum cleaner has got you covered. Whether you spilled some snack crumbs or just need to tidy up your keyboard, this vacuum is up to the task.

One of the best things about this mini vacuum is how easy it is to use. Simply charge it up, turn it on, and let it do its thing. The powerful suction will quickly and efficiently clean up any messes on your desk. And when you’re done, just empty out the dustbin and you’re good to go.

But let’s be real–the pink mini desk vacuum cleaner is also just plain fun to use. It’s like having a tiny, cute robot helper on your desk. And who doesn’t want that? I mean, come on, just think about how satisfying it will be to watch it suck up all those crumbs and dust bunnies.


A mini vacuum for your desk or vanity 💅🏻💫 it’s so pretty and of course I got the pink mini vacuum

♬ original sound – Aimee Rauseo Peachy Queen

And let’s not forget about the practical benefits of having a clean workspace. Having a cluttered and dirty workspace can negatively impact your productivity and mood. So, by investing in a pink mini desk vacuum cleaner, you’re not only getting a fun and functional gadget, but you’re also improving your overall workspace environment. Win-win.

Now, I know what you’re thinking–”but do I really need a mini vacuum cleaner for my desk?” Trust me, the answer is yes. Once you start using this little guy, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without it. It’s one of those products that you never knew you needed, but now you can’t imagine living without.

Who wouldn’t want a cute little pink vacuum cleaner on their desk? It’s the ultimate conversation starter and icebreaker. Plus, it’s the perfect gift for your friends and family who are always looking for ways to improve their workspace.

Bottom line, the pink mini desk vacuum cleaner is a must-have for anyone who spends a lot of time at their desk. Not only is it cute and fun, but it’s also incredibly functional and practical. So go ahead, treat yourself to this little gadget–your desk (and your mood) will thank you.

Shop It: IGOTOKI Mini Desk Vacuum Cleaner, $10.99, Amazon

8 TikTok-Approved Kitchen Essentials You Need Right Now

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

I’m not ashamed to say it—I get a ton of my shopping recommendations from TikTok. My algorithm knows me far too well, and the most convenient (not to mention, chicest) items make their way onto my FYP. That’s especially true for the home and kitchen departments.

I’ve purchased so many appliances, kitchen gadgets, and cookware that I’ve come across on the clock app. Whether it’s a countertop device that will make my morning eggs for me in a few minutes, an investment piece like a standing mixer, or smart toaster, TikTokers do an excellent job at finding it all. And because I don’t like to gatekeep, I’m sharing some of my all-time favorite kitchen essentials from TikTok with you. Here are eight items that I absolutely can’t live without.

These Silicone Things That Preserve My Half-Eaten Produce

IDK about you, but I’m the type to buy produce and watch it go bad in a few days because I can’t get to it all. But, these silicone food savers have the changed the game for me for good. They come in different shapes and sizes to fit everything from limes to bananas, peppers, and everything in between.

Shop It: Food Huggers, $16.99, Amazon

This Veggie Chopper The Internet Is *Obsessed* With

Next, we have the most efficient thing I’ve ever gotten my hands on—a veggie chopper. I’m so past the days of tearing up while cutting onions, or getting garlic clove shells all over my cutting board. This handy gadget can chop an onion in seconds, and it comes with additional attachments to spiralize foods like zucchini.

Shop It: Fullstar Vegetable Chopper, $24.99, Amazon

This Spritzer That Keeps Your Food From Getting Greasy AF

Have you ever poured way too much oil onto a pan or your food? Well, say goodbye to that. This handy sprayer can disperse just the right amount of olive oil or vegetable oil to meal prep or start cooking. It’s way too easy.

Shop It: ZEREOOY Oil Sprayer, $10.99, Amazon

This Organizer That Keeps Your Cabinets From Overflowing

Have stacked pans in all of your cupboards? The horror. Get rid of the clutter and messiness and make space in your kitchen with this pan organizer. You can simply stick it in a cabinet and stack your go-to saucepans, pots, and frying pans.

Shop It: SOCONT Pot and Pan Organizer for Cabinet, $20.99, Amazon

This Smart Toaster That Truly Never Misses

Introducing the smartest toaster you’ll ever meet. It not only does wonders for bread and bagels, you can get crispy waffles, English muffins, and more with customized toasting and browning settings.

Shop It: Revolution InstaGLO Smart Toaster, $349.95, Amazon

The Mini Waffle Maker That Has Upgraded My Breakfast

Breakfast for one? Make yourself a delicious morning plate with Dash’s viral mini waffle maker. Simply pour in your preferred batter and warm it up until it’s ready to eat. Don’t forget to add some chocolate chips or blueberries while you’re at it.

Shop It: Dash Mini Waffle Maker, $12.99, Amazon

The OG KitchenAid That Is Majorly Worth The Price Tag

Baking game strong. Put on your pastry chef hat and use this gorgeous standing mixer to prep your goodies. It comes equipped with aluminum non-stick bowls and will look so chic sitting on your countertop.

Shop It: KitchenAid Standing Mixer, $449.95, Amazon

This Gadget That Promises Perfect Eggs Every Time

Who has time to mess up eggs? Never worry about overcooking some yolk in the morning again thanks to this compact cooker. It can boil, poach, and scramble eggs or steam vegetables, dumplings, and seafood. Talk about an all-in-one device.

Shop It: Dash Deluxe Rapid Egg Cooker, $31.95, Amazon

This Handheld Device Will Save Your Couch From Your Pets

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, I like to think that pet parents are real parents. (Well, my dog is just as messy as a toddler—so that counts, okay!?) As much as I love my little fur baby, he can wreak havoc on my couch—getting an all-white one was a *big* mistake—bed sheets, and literally any corner of my apartment. He sheds like crazy on some days, beats me to his bed before I can clean his paws on others, loves to leave trails of crumbs when he gets his good boy treats, or makes a mess in my car. And, let me tell you, cleaning up after a dog, no matter how big or small, is quite the trip.

I’ve tried so many different products, whether it’s cleaning solutions like sprays, shedding brushes for grabbing excess hair, and of course, regular vacuums and mops. But, thanks to my Instagram feed and TikTok FYP, the Bissell Little Green Multi-Purpose Portable Carpet and Upholstery Cleaner caught my attention. Pet parents on both apps have filmed themselves cleaning even the toughest-looking stains in just a few minutes. It looked like a miracle device and I just knew I had to get my hands on it.

It’s small, but mighty, and has a top handle that allows you to bring it along to clean pretty much everywhere. Unlike most portable vacuums, this one has a spray *and* suction feature, so you apply a cleaning solution to whatever surface you’re targeting and it just scoops/sucks it right up. And its suction is powerful, like lift-carpet-stains-right-off powerful.

But, I have to say I was the most impressed with how well it cleaned the upholstery on my couch. As I mentioned before, my couch is white. My dog’s fur, on the other hand, is dark and super noticeable. There have been days when he hops on there when I’m not looking, rolls around, and has a field day leaving spots and marks across the entire thing. Let’s just say it’s a less-than-ideal situation for a couch of this color that also wasn’t cheap to begin with.

So to say I’m thankful for this Bissell is an understatement. And it’s super easy to use. All you have to do is mix the cleaning solution with some water in the tank that comes attached to the device. Once that’s settled, you click the spray button on the attached brush to disperse the product, turn on the Little Green, and then get to work. You’ll instantly notice results, but it really works the more you pass the brush along the surface. Within minutes stains, spills, and debris are just completely gone.

Each device comes with a travel-sized option of the Bissell Spot & Stain solution, but you can purchase larger-sized bottles for the future on Amazon, too. And if you needed any more convincing, each purchase saves other fur babies through the Bissell Pet Foundation which helps rescue homeless pets. Now, that’s a win-win situation.


Shop It: Bissell Little Green Multi-Purpose Portable Carpet and Upholstery Cleaner, $109.59, Amazon

Shop It: Bissell Pet Pro OXY Spot & Stain Formula, $12.98, Amazon

A Guide To Cleaning Your Closet So It’s Not Filled With Useless Sh*t

With a lot of us being stuck at home for the foreseeable future, what better time to get ahead on spring cleaning? Or, since spring is basically canceled this year… cleaning. When it comes to cleaning out your closet, mental discipline is key. Start by preparing yourself to say goodbye to a lot of crap. You might think you don’t have a ton of useless stuff, but trust me, you do.

Cleansing is a process that you should take one season at a time, and it’s best to focus on the task at hand—so begin by storing your fall/winter wardrobe away because it’s almost shorts season. (Although whether or not we will be able to spend extended time outside in our shorts is another question, but let’s be hopeful here.) When storing large fall/winter items, one tip I recommend is using large, clear and flat sweater boxes that can be slid under your bed and out of the way. They are great for bulky sweaters and larger winter items.

Rubbermaid Cleverstore Clear 16 QT Pack of 6 Stackable Plastic Storage Containers with Durable Latching Clear Lids

Rubbermaid Cleverstore Clear 16 QT Pack of 6 Stackable Plastic Storage Containers with Durable Latching Clear Lids

When assessing your warm weather wardrobe, categorize each item of clothing into toss, donate, or keep piles. Allow yourself one SMALL drawer for the clothes that you just refuse to let go of, even though you know you’re not ever going to wear them, or you’re delusional enough to think you just might. (And when I say small, I mean SMALL, so choose wisely my friends.)


Tossing clothing is easier said than done, but acceptance is key to a successful closet. If an item is stained, has holes, or is hanging on by a literal thread, toss it. Get rid of it, sayonara. There’s no point in having a damaged piece of clothing taking up precious real estate in your closet.  Also toss tube tops, tiny sunglasses, and wedge sneakers. You’ll thank me later.


Choosing what to donate takes a more diplomatic approach. Now that you’ve gotten rid of your pit stained T-shirts, I recommend asking yourself these questions and then ACTUALLY being honest with your answer.  

1. Have I worn this in the last three months? If yes, keep. If no, Donate.

2. Does it fit me comfortably? If yes, keep. If no, Donate.  

Donate all “goal weight” and “fat clothes”. You are PERFECT as you are, at the size you are right now.  Share the love and let someone else have that dress that used to fit in college, and rock the dress that fits your fabulous self now.  

Note: If you have a piece that you absolutely love but doesn’t fit, a good tailor is key, but also expensive. You want it to be worth the repair price, so only alter pieces that have true staying power. 

3. Can I create at least three outfits to wear this item with? If yes, keep. If no, Donate.  

My favorite quote when considering what to keep versus give away is: “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” It might be helpful for you to keep that in mind as you go through everything.


You should love and utilize every piece in your wardrobe. The easiest way to organize your “keep” pile is to separate between what to keep in a drawer and what to hang. Denim, T-shirts, and sweaters should be folded and put in drawers. Sweaters lose shape on the hanger, and can pull, so they are safer folded; store in order of knit weight and color (darks on bottom, lights on top).  

Fold your denim into thirds, separate by style and store by wash, dark wash at the bottom to light wash on top.  

folded jeans

Hang the remainder of your wardrobe and organize it by category (dresses, jackets, tops, bottoms, etc), color (light to dark), and material (keep like fabrics together within each category). Use felt hangers—they save space and are easier on your garments. Once that’s organized, arrange each category by sleeve length, going from short to long, left to right, with the hanger facing towards you like a question mark. This makes it easier to “read” your wardrobe. 

The end goal is to have a functional, cohesive and thoughtful wardrobe so you can worry about spring fever (too soon?) and not your closet.

Joey Clark is a native of Tucson AZ.  In April of 2017, Clark focused all of her energy on opening her own boutique in Philadelphia, as the culmination of a decade in the industry. Through Kin Boutique, Clark has created a retail experience focused on inclusivity and community. Her strategy is to invest in everyday, staple items and fill in with lower priced trends. She believes in loving every piece in your wardrobe regardless of the size of your waist or your wallet. For more information visit or @shopkinboutique on Instagram.

Images: Sarah Brown / Unsplash; Elena Mitusova /

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

4 Frightening Realities Of Living With Your SO

Before I moved in with my boyfriend, I interrogated everyone I knew who lived with their partner. I’d read plenty of horror stories about couples breaking up after living together too soon. They were all frustratingly vague about how and why exactly things went wrong. My friends, sadly, were similarly unhelpful. “It’s just different” was the most common offering, with “the first month was the worst” being a close second. Six weeks into living with my boyfriend, I’d agree that both those things are true. But because I’m paid to write this not a terrible friend, I’ll actually explain why. Here’s what to actually expect when you move in with a partner.

1. Laundry Will Kind Of Rule Your Life

This aspect of living together is particularly true if you live in NYC and the closest laundry to you is a laundromat that only takes quarters. Totally random example, NBD. But, even if you have a washing machine in the comfort of your home, or go full bougie and get it picked up, there’s just going to be a lot more dirty clothing existing in your home. Especially if your partner plays sports and/or is a guy and therefore inexplicably goes through six T-shirts a day. Either way, I miss only thinking about laundry every few weeks. And of course not having anyone judge me when I used my laundry bin as a “backup tees” drawer.

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Apparently adulthood is 75% just doing laundry ???? (pssst watch my IG story for a little #bigkidsolution laundry hack!)

A post shared by By Sarah Merrill (@bigkidproblems) on

2. Food Is Now A Shared Entity

If you’re not already, I highly recommend listening to every episode of the Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast. They spend one episode talking about how hard it is to control your eating in a relationship. I loved it so much that I made my boyfriend listen to it. In the year and a half we dated before moving in together, I’d complained plenty about his constant desire to post up at beer gardens, or his tendency to make the whole box of pasta whenever we cooked. Now that we live together, I deal with all those struggles, plus the fact that he fills our kitchen with chips, Gatorade, and sugary cereals. Not to mention that he buys everything in bulk as though we are a family of seven.

Clearly, many of these problems exist because he also does most of the grocery shopping. I should be more grateful. But I have a late-night snacking problem, so I am instead furious that I now have such binge-able food on hand at all times. Anyway, whatever your weird food needs are (and you def have some), prepare to spend a lot of time arguing about what groceries you actually need. And/or screaming at your partner when you come home hangry at 10pm and the only food available is a microwavable corn dog.

Me to my boyfriend:

3. “Clean” Means Different Things To Different People

I’m very lucky with my boyfriend—for many reasons, but in this context, I mean because he’s relatively neat. He does the dishes, he vacuums occasionally, he’s kind of a freak when it comes to crumbs, you get the idea. HOWEVER. Things that I never realized are very, very important to me—like wiping down the bathroom sink/mirror, or having a designated place for shoes—won’t even occur to him. This leads to a lot of arguments where I become convinced that he’s actively trying to piss me off. And he has literally no idea what I’m talking about. Or where he tells me he cleaned the apartment and I come home and think he’s joking. Basically, you’re going to need to sit down a few weeks in and tell each other plainly what’s important to you in terms of maintenance.

4. You’re Probably Grosser Than You Realized

It’s not like my boyfriend and I went from seeing each other once a week to living together. But I do think I underestimated how much I used my time in my own apartment to do all the weird stuff I don’t think about. Like eating a block of cheese in bed, trying to get a good view of what feels like back-ne in my bathroom mirror, trying on 16 different shirts and flinging every reject on the same chair. All of these activities are made way less fun by being in a room with anyone else. And they’re made UNBEARABLE if that other person starts commenting on it, which they definitely will. You are now doing it in a space that they equally live in.

Ultimately, this isn’t the worst thing in the world and will actually probably curb some bad habits. But I def had a few moments of deep shame on this road. Like when my boyfriend came storming out of the bedroom demanding to know why there was almond butter on his pillowcase.

All in all, the biggest thing I’ve noticed about living with my boyfriend is space, plain and simple. Even with roommates, there’s always a spot that’s yours alone. Not having that is more of a shift than I expected. There are lots of fun parts too, like the fact that you can be naked all the time, pay way less rent, and just feel smug and happy every time you can reference OUR apartment. So as long as you’re willing to have a few screaming fights, a few cool-down conversations, and a few ugh-compromises, I wholeheartedly recommend it. If you try to treat the living arrangement like one of you is renting a room and the other one owns it, I guarantee that won’t work out.

Images: bigkidproblems / Instagram; Giphy (2); Unsplash/Jeremy Banks

How To Remove Every Kind Of Makeup Stain From All Your Stuff

It’s not an average day for me unless I wake up to some sort of self-inflicted sabotage that’s ruining my life and my room décor. Usually it’s from makeup stains on my pillows, bedding, or the only shirt I’ve ever paid more than $30 for after a happy hour gone wrong very right or a night spent avoiding human interaction re-watching Riverdale and getting so distracted by the onslaught of red heads on my screen that I forget to take my face makeup off. Either way the next morning I always have to take a good, hard look at my life choices destructive personality, ignore that moment of self-reflection, and figure out how the fuck to get rid of all these makeup stains. I’m assuming that you too are a garbage human so here’s how to get rid of every makeup stain that ruins your shit. You’re welcome.

Lipstick Stains

My aesthetic for my room is all white everything because apparently I enjoy torturing myself. As someone who is dead inside, I also only wear vampy lip colors, which is a problem because I’m constantly fucking up my white sheets when I’m blackout. Lol it’s so fun to watch myself unravel in the mornings. ANYWAY, if you’ve got a lipstick stain I’m here to save you from wanting to jump out the second story window of your shitty apartment every time you wake up to purple lip stains and cuddling a half eaten bag of chips. First, spritz the stain with hairspray and let it sit for 10ish minutes. I know, it sounds a little batshit, but it works. Next, dab the spot with a sponge and throw it into the wash. If your sheets/shirt/pillow case need to be dry-cleaned then first of all, slow clap because you’ve made it in life, but also you should use tape of some sort to remove the stain. Try that or prayer.

Foundation Stains

Tbh I don’t wear a ton of foundation but when I do it 100 percent ends up on every surface in my apartment. Even places that don’t make sense like my bedroom wall or the faux-fur rug I thought would make my apartment look less like I live on a peasant’s salary and more like I live a Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle (Writer’s Note: It did not). The first thing you should do when dealing with foundation stains is to not freak out and call your mother because she will most likely not focus on the issue at hand and instead ask you some v personal questions like why you were too drunk to remove your face makeup on a Wednesday in the first place. As if that’s the real issue here. Next, treat foundation fuck ups spills with a clarifying product like shaving cream or shampoo because both of these toiletries have cleaning agents that need to break through the stain before you throw it in the wash. Unless it’s your bedroom wall, then I would just recommend playing dumb with your landlord.


If you wear glitter so much in your life that you need this tutorial then first of all I’d just like to say, BLESS. Here’s to hoping all that molly hasn’t rotted your brain yet. But if you’re going to dress like an adult toddler, I guess I can give you some advice for how not to sabotage your living space with the glitter bomb that is your personal style and taste. If the glitter is a part of your outfit (i.e. a dress, skirt, or any other drug-induced music festival type attire) you should spray down the whole outfit with hair spray immediately. It will dull the shine of your outfit but it will also save your apartment floors from looking like a rental space for Forever21. If the glitter is incorporated in your makeup somehow—again, BLESS—use masking tape or a lint roller to remove the sparkles from your sheets, clothing, pillow cases, etc.

Self-Tanner Stains

‘Tis the season to pretend like you enjoy leaving your couch by dousing yourself in enough self-tanner to not be shunned by your friend group. And because of this, everything I own is slowly turning orange through my best efforts to please my Instagram followers friends. Ugh. So buckle up because removing this shit ain’t gonna be fun. First rinse the affected area under cold water. Then wet a sponge with any type of dish detergent to work the spot from the outside in. This will (hopefully) cut the oil in the tanning oil enough for the stain to come out. Other things that might work on the stain are hydrogen peroxide (but make sure to spot-check first in case the fabric’s color won’t lift and you screw yourself even more) or glycerin but only use that like the Bumble Bro you drunk Snapchat—when you’re desperate.

Waterproof Makeup Stains

Waterproof makeup stains are literal sabotage and also the reason I drink. Well, not so much the reason as the aftermath, but that’s neither here nor there. For long-lasting makeup formulations, you should blot the stain with makeup remover and pray to Jesus and the lady who writes your monthly horoscope that this shit comes out. Make sure that the formula you’re using is oil-free, though, or else you’re in for an even bigger shit show.

Deodorant Stains

Deodorant stains have been ruining my life since 2002 and are also the reason my boss doesn’t like to make eye contact with me at the 9am staff meeting. This how-to is going to be especially relevant to those whose wardrobe consists of all black at all times (Hi). If you find yourself with white lines all over your body and you can’t pass it off as “Dylan’s Candy mess” or table décor (you’re fooling no one, Kimberly) then your saving grace is going to be a pair of tights or a dryer sheet. Rub the fabric against the deodorant mark and it’ll almost immediately come out off of the clothing. Blessings.

Read: How Often You Should Wash Your Sheets, Towels & Other Shit You Never Clean
6 Items In Your Closet You Need To Throw Out Immediately

I hate to be that asshole, but June is basically over which means we only have a limited amount of time before the countdown to PSL season begins. Too soon? Well, get over it, because the world is cold and the truth is harsh. The silver lining of heading into a time where everything dies (like my soul) is all of the back-to-school sales. However, I think if I buy one more pair of block heels before detoxifying my life, aka my closet, I might end up on a fucking episode of Hoarders. Or worse, my dad might remove me from the AmEx account. Like, where’s Kim to organize my hard-earned expensive wardrobe when I need her? If you keep telling yourself you’ll do it “tomorrow” (hi), the time is now to move your Uggs and Burberry scarves over and rid yourself of fugly pieces that are like, sooo 2004. Let’s be honest, you’re never going to wear them again if you know what’s good for you, so they’re probably just taking up space anyway. More importantly, you need to make room for whatever the fuck you ordered from Shopbop last night. To make feeling like a peasant less painful, here’s an official list of the shit you needed to toss like, yesterday. Pour a lot of wine, turn on Spotify, and let’s get this over with.

1. Peep-Toe Wedges/Heels/Anything

I literally have never fucking liked these. Any time my own mother tried to wear hers, I’d hide them because I’d never be caught in public associating myself with someone who did. They’re grotesque and probably give you blisters. I don’t care how much money they cost, there were def way cuter shoes to buy so you played yourself on that one. The good thing? There are still way cuter fucking shoes to buy.

2. Dresses You Wore Freshman Year Of College

Bandage and tiered dresses should’ve left the premises a long fucking time ago but if for some unknown reason you decided to simply tuck them away, throw that shit out immediately. Good memories last—because like, pictures—but ugly clothes do not. These are making a comeback as much as Usher is—yeah, not happening. You have plenty of other hotter dresses to make new memories in, whether you actually remember the nights or not.

^ I can almost guarantee you that these bitches got rid of whatever the fuck these are—not outfits, let me tell you—as soon as they were done filming.

3. Belts

Unless they’re waist-cinchers or corset belts, get rid of them. When was the last time you actually wore one with pants? Like, seriously. That’s what I thought. If the Kardashians aren’t wearing it, we aren’t wearing it.

4. Tarnished Jewelry

If you’re still wearing fake bling because you just love it so much and you still get the best compliments on it, there’s this place (well, a couple of them, really) called Forever 21. LOL. Welcome to 2017. I’m positive they still have equally fake things that don’t look like they’ve been sitting in an ocean for years. It’s tacky, gross, and unless it’s some precious gem your great (x10)-grandma passed down to you, just get some new jewels. Tip: Make an investment for real jewelry if you wear it like, everyday.

5. Bags That Are Falling Apart

Even though the straps are shredding or there’s just a huge-ass hole for whatever reason, you decided to hold on to it because it’s Chanel. You’re praying for a miracle but it’s not going to happen. The time for your fave bag has come to an end. Even if it can’t be replaced, you will find another you’ll fall in love with, probs sooner rather than later. I know this advice works because it’s similar to what I give my friends after they meet a guy at the bar who doesn’t call back. Basically, just:

Get Over Yourself

6. Low-Rise Jeans

If they sit where your underwear is, then no. Those times are long over. Unlike the denim skirt, this 2000s trend isn’t coming back. Not now, not ever so, they can leave.

Read: The Summer Beauty Products You Need To Add To Your Makeup Bag Now