If you haven’t started (and finished) watching Selling Sunset by now, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for. It’s one of the most important cultural artifacts of our generation (I’m exaggerating, but only slightly). I’ve already broken down the reasons why everyone is obsessed with it, and season four really can’t come soon enough.
Because I can’t stop thinking about this dumb f*cking show, I decided to rank the cast members from good to evil. That probably sounds dramatic, but if you’ve seen the show, you try telling me that Davina isn’t evil. That may seem like a strong word, but just remember, this is reality TV. Being evil isn’t necessarily a bad thing in this context, and being good can be boring as f*ck. Also, this article is full of spoilers for all three seasons, so if you’re not caught up, this is your warning.
Chrishell is an angel, and I won’t accept any opinions to the contrary. At the beginning of season one, she was brand new at the Oppenheim Group, and despite her being warm and friendly, Christine did her best to make her life a living hell. It was sort of a Scheana vs. Stassi situation, except Chrishell is nowhere near as annoying as Scheana. Chrishell has always sort of been the protagonist of Selling Sunset, but this became extra clear in season three, when her divorce became a central storyline. We may never know if there was more to the story, but I don’t know how you could watch her conversation with Mary and not be heartbroken for her? Chrishell’s worst moment on the show was probably in season one, when she revealed to the group that Maya was pregnant, literal hours after Maya asked her to keep it a secret. But Maya didn’t seem that mad, so neither am I.
Maya, with her thick Israeli accent, two beautiful babies, and phantom husband who lives in Miami, is kind of an outlier within the group, and she mostly floats above all the drama. While Chrishell’s curiosity can get her into trouble, Maya always finds a way to participate in gossip while steering clear of any issues. Maya is mainly just spectator for other people’s drama, and her commentary is always appreciated. Her only major issue has been her insistence that Mary benefits from favoritism at the office, but like, is she wrong?
Amanza was a total breath of fresh air when she joined the cast in season two, and her interior design background differentiates her from the rest of the Oppenheim Group agents. Amanza has worked hard to get her foot in the real estate door so she can better provide for her two kids. Seeing her journey as a single mom on the show has been emotional, to say the least, and it doesn’t seem like there’s an evil bone in her body. In two seasons, Amanza’s biggest flaw has been that she’s constantly late, but like, same.
At the beginning of the show, Mary was best friends with Christine, but she was really too normal for that friendship to hold up under the pressures of being on reality TV. The main thing about Mary is that she just needs to chill the f*ck out sometimes. She can be a bit obnoxious when dealing with her issues with Christine or her husband Romain, but overall, she means well. In the last two seasons, her friendships with Amanza and Chrishell have been amazing to see, and she’s supported both of them through some tough times. She accompanied Amanza to the courthouse while she was dealing with custody issues, and she was there for Chrishell when the shocking divorce news broke.
In season one, 25-year-old Romain proposed to 38-year-old Mary, just days after they had a conversation about the future that I just assumed would result in a breakup. Somehow, these two got married and are still together, but Romain still seems pretty immature. Mary is pushing 40, and every time she brings up having kids, or buying a house, or literally anything about the future, Romain just gives her a big shrug. Excuse me sir, you are married! You have to talk about these things! It also really rubbed me the wrong way when, during the wedding planning process, Romain decided he didn’t care about any of the decisions, because that’s “girl stuff.” Gender is a social construct, Romain!
Heather has had an interesting trajectory during her time on the show. In season one, she was dating a hockey player who was playing for a team in Slovakia, and honestly, I kind of pitied her. She was a mess, but ultimately pretty likable. By season two, she had ditched her long-distance BF, and was now dating fellow real estate TV personality Tarek El Moussa. Their relationship progressed quickly (culminating in a recent engagement), and it definitely changed the way Heather interacted with the other women on the show. In season two, she flipped out on Amanza for offering some advice about dating someone with kids, which was very uncool. She’s definitely faded into the background as she’s spent less time actually working, and it seems like she feels too good to be there anymore. Also, it is impossible for me to trust someone who orders water for lunch.
Jason & Brett
Jason and Brett are the identical twin brothers who run the Oppenheim Group (though Brett has since left and started his own competing brokerage). These 40-something men are the definition of skeezy, and pretty much every episode has at least one moment that is textbook workplace sexual harassment. Everyone on the show seems cool with the lightly misogynistic vibe, but it’s still problematic for me. The brothers are both perpetually single, but they differ in one important area: while Brett just wants to sleep with Heather, Jason actually used to date Mary (and is now her boss). Both toxic, but in different ways!
Christine Quinn seems like a nightmare to be friends with, but she’s the exact kind of nightmare that a show like this needs. Nothing is ever off-limits with Christine, and she acts like she has a physical compulsion to call people on their bullsh*t—or what she perceives to be bullsh*t—no matter how inappropriate the occasion. A brokers’ open? Better start some drama? Mary’s bachelorette party? More drama! Mary’s literal wedding? You guessed it—Christine is starting drama. Probably her single most evil move was in season two, when she went behind Mary’s back to tell Davina that she was uninvited from Mary’s wedding. Mary specifically asked all the women to keep it quiet until she had a chance to deliver the news, and after the fact, Christine wouldn’t even admit she had done anything wrong. People give Christine a free pass because she says funny things and wears exciting outfits, but like, yikes.
Davina has always been messy, but she’s only gotten worse in the more recent seasons. Whereas Christine is a fun reality TV villain, Davina honestly might be a sociopath. Back in season two, she got herself uninvited from Mary’s wedding for talking shit about her relationship, and the way she reacted made her look like a f*cking clown. And after spending all of season three looking desperate trying to sell that ridiculously overpriced $75 million house, she also managed to ruin Christine’s wedding. In the season three finale, we all watched, jaws on the floor, as Davina publicly declared at Christine’s reception that she didn’t believe Chrishell was telling the whole truth about her divorce. Not only was this extremely hurtful to Chrishell, who left the event in tears, but she also gave the editors a chance to make her BFF Christine’s wedding essentially a pretty backdrop for Chrishell’s story. Congratulations, Davina, you look evil!
Images: Lindy Lin / Netflix; Netflix; Giphy (8)