Back in March, who could have predicted that basically nothing would change by the end of 2020? Okay, a few things have changed, but assuming you’re not one of the lucky few who have already gotten their hands on the vaccine, your ass is still glued to the couch, and you’re still f*cking bored. Luckily, the TV gods understand our need for constant stimulation, so there’s plenty of good stuff coming to a device near you in the next few weeks. Here are the most important new shows and seasons coming soon that you won’t want to miss.
‘Bridgerton’ – Netflix, 12/25
Back in 2017, Shonda Rhimes made history with a record-breaking deal to set up shop at Netflix. It’s taken a few years, but we’re finally getting our first Shondaland Netflix show, and Bridgerton looks like the exact kind of thing I want to binge in 1-2 sittings. Based on a series of novels set in 19th century England, this soapy drama centers on two young nobles who pretend to be in love, each with their own motives. With a diverse cast, gorgeous visuals, and Julie Andrews as the narrator, this is the event of the TV season.
‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ – Netflix, 12/31
If you’re still watching Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, congratulations, you’ve made it to the end. The fourth and final part drops on New Year’s Eve, and as always, it looks creepy and thrilling. But the most exciting part, by far, is the news that the OG Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda from Sabrina The Teenage Witch will be making an appearance. Idk how this factors into the plot, but my sense of nostalgia is happy.
‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ – VH1, 1/1
The last time I was indoors at a bar was a viewing party for RuPaul’s Drag Race season 12, so the fact that we’re already getting a new season puts into perspective how long this year has felt. Season 13 features 13 new queens, and whether you’re a Drag Race super fan or have yet to watch an episode, trust me, you’ll love it. From the runway looks to the hilarious challenges to the SHAAAAADE that the queens throw at each other, Drag Race is the perfect competition show.
‘The Bachelor’ – ABC, 1/4
I don’t think The Bachelor needs much introduction around here, but I keep forgetting that Matt’s season premieres just two weeks after The Bachelorette wraps up. Filmed in a quarantine bubble in Pennsylvania, this season is sure to be (say it with me) the most dramatic season ever, and judging from the contestant bios, we might have more than one woman trying to secure the villain spot.
‘The Real Housewives of Dallas’ – Bravo, 1/5
I couldn’t talk about The Bachelor without also including a Bravo show, and the Dallas housewives are back in January for their fifth season. This season was filmed during the pandemic, so we’ll see how the ladies incorporate face masks and shields into their glam routines. Mainly, I’m curious to see how the cast fares in the aftermath of LeeAnne Locken’s problematic behavior and subsequent firing, because that sh*t was messy. Judging from the trailer, newcomer Dr. Tiffany Moon seems like a promising addition, and the ladies of Dallas are often underrated.
‘Dickinson’ – Apple TV+, 1/8
With so many streaming services available, a lot of people sleep on Apple TV+, but Dickinson, one of their breakout original shows, is already coming back for a second season. Hailee Steinfeld plays a young Emily Dickinson who’s struggling with the confines of her 1800s New England life. With modern music and dialogue, this show is super fun, and I found myself laughing out loud regularly during the first season.
‘Everyone Is Doing Great’ – Hulu, 1/13
James Lafferty and Stephen Colletti (aka Nathan and Chase from One Tree Hill) teamed up to create and star in this comedy about two actors who are trying to figure out wtf to do years after starring in a hit TV show about vampires. So One Tree Hill wasn’t about vampires, but I’m pretty sure this is low-key autobiographical. Also, yes, this is the same Stephen Colletti from Laguna Beach, which is reason enough to watch.
‘Search Party’ – HBO Max, 1/14
After moving to HBO Max last spring for its third season, Search Party is already back for season four. Going forward, I would appreciate if all of my favorite shows could start putting out new seasons every eight months or so. Dory, Drew, and the gang are still dealing with the aftermath of Keith’s death, and if you know anything about this show, things probably won’t go according to plan. Can’t wait!
‘WandaVision’ – Disney+, 1/15
When Disney+ launched, one of the main draws of the streaming service was the promise of new shows in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It took a while, but the first one is finally here, and WandaVision looks like it’s going to be a f*cking trip. Wanda and Vision, two of the more under-used characters from the MCU movies, are the perfect TV couple in this supernatural sitcom through the ages. Tbh, I have very little idea what this is actually about, but it’s going to be a big deal.
‘Servant’ – Apple TV+, 1/15
Along with Dickinson, Apple TV’s Servant is also returning for a second season next month. This psychological horror show is produced by horror icon M. Night Shyamalan, and it follows a family who hire a nanny for their child… who is actually a doll. Sh*t gets weird, obviously. Season one got solid reviews, and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) is in this, which is reason enough to watch.
Images: Liam Daniel/Netflix; Netflix, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Bachelor Nation on ABC, Bravo, Apple TV, Hulu, HBO Max, Marvel / YouTube
One of the best parts of the Halloween season is watching spooky movies. I used to love leaving on Freeform’s 13 Nights of Halloween all day (and now it’s 31 Nights!). However, no one has cable in this day and age, because it’s super expensive and a waste of money when we get better content from streaming services anyway. Also, let’s be real, Freeform’s “Nights” is really just Hocus Pocus four thousand times and maybe one night of The Nightmare Before Christmas if you’re lucky. To get you in the mood for Halloween, here are the best movies and TV shows available to stream on Netflix right now, and they’re honestly way better than seeing the same sh*t every day. (But if you miss Hocus Pocus, you can still find it right now on Amazon Prime. You’re welcome.)
‘The Sixth Sense’
The Sixth Sense is the ultimate ghost story. It’s super scary but also deeply unsettling in a psychological way. If you’ve never seen it, now is the time, and if you have, this is the perfect time to rewatch. Turn down the lights, grab a bottle of wine, and don’t forget to check under your bed for dead Mischa Barton.
A horror classic, Carrie is a must-see Stephen King film that lays the groundwork for so many horror movies after it. You simply can’t get through October without watching at least a few Stephen King movies. Sadly, even though they are not on Netflix, you should also watch The Shining and Misery. I always wanted the power of telekinesis, so Carrie is extra fascinating to me. Remember to be nice to the weird kids because they may exact their horror-filled revenge on you. Get the pig’s blood ready!
This movie is probably my favorite “newer” horror movie. It just has everything: it’s terrifying, has a great story, and it really leaves you fully creeped out at the ending. I’m also very weirdly obsessed with the concept of astral projection. I’m not saying it could happen, but I’m also not not saying it. I think there are like four of these movies now, so once you watch this one you can binge the whole series. But like, you may need to sleep with the lights on after.
Scream is definitely a Halloween classic. It’s one of the core slasher films of our time, and it’s inspired many Halloween costumes. Scream is kind of a fun horror movie—it may make you jump, but you won’t like, have nightmares afterwards. Also, Courteney Cox as a thirsty reporter is truly iconic.
Does this count as a Halloween movie? I don’t care, because I LOVE IT. I also loved the series reboot that was canceled before it even aired but you can still watch online (although you’ll have to hunt to find the finale). It’s like a campy horror portrayal of how vapid and dumb our society is, especially in regards to mental health. The whole movie is a caricature of itself, but there is also murder. It’s the definition of a dark comedy, so if you don’t have like, a really twisted sense of humor, you might hate it. It’s also one of the most quotable movies ever, bringing us great lines such as “f*ck me gently with a chainsaw,” and “I love my dead, gay son!”
‘The Haunting Of Hill House’
If Heathers is fun horror, The Haunting Of Hill House is the exact opposite. This show is the most terrifying kind of horror you can get. I love scary everything, and this show still literally gave me nightmares. Everything about it is absolute perfection, from the story, to the acting, to the characters, the cinematography, all of it. But it’s no joke. It’s not for people that can’t handle scary. I was hoping the next season, Bly Manor, would be out this year, but I guess I’ll just have to rewatch this until 2020.
Stranger Things is actually my favorite show on Netflix (and that’s saying A LOT, because there are some really good ones, see above). It’s scary, but in a much more manageable way than Hill House. If you like horror and sci-fi classics, you’ll love everything about Stranger Things. They mix up the scary with coming-of-age stuff and comedy to take the edge off. I would protect all the characters with my life, I love them so much. It’s super binge-able and you probably won’t have nightmares.
Coraline is for those of you that are sad you don’t get to see The Nightmare Before Christmas on Netflix. It’s a beautiful animated masterpiece, but honestly, the story is probably one of the scariest ever—and not just for children. It’s from one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman, and let me tell you, the man knows how to write creepy sh*t. There are some elements that will stay with you and haunt you forever after watching it. So, while it won’t terrify you the same way something like Hill House will, you may have some f*cked up dreams.
‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina’
I loved Sabrina The Teenage Witch growing up, and I also loved the Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina reboot. It’s way darker and creepier than the old show, and the story is so interesting. It has everything you could want in a Halloween series: witches, murder, monsters, and evil teenage girls. It’s a great series for those that like light scary instead of bone-chillingly horrifying.
After you’ve watched the rest of the list and are thoroughly traumatized, watch Coco for a cute Day of the Dead story that will warm your cold, dead heart. It’s so well-written, and the imagery is beautiful, while still being spooky and on-brand for the Halloween season.
What other movies or TV shows are on your must-watch list for Halloween? Whether you’re into the truly scary sh*t, or prefer more wholesome fall classics, it’s the perfect time of year to stay in and get your Netflix on.
Images: Shutterstock; Giphy (10)
To be honest, I don’t know what April is even known for. April showers? April Fool’s Day? Dating Andy on Parks and Rec? (Lol jk.) No thank you to all of that. April is the perfect month to stay in your bed and watch Netflix—don’t go outside, don’t get rained on, and definitely don’t get pranked. This has been a PSA. While you’re avoiding the outside world, check out these new TV shows and movies coming to Netflix in April.
April 1st: ‘Obsessed’
Nope, this movie wasn’t a 2000s fever dream. Beyoncé and Idris Elba really did star in a C-list thriller together. It’s pretty much Fatal Attraction, but with Beyoncé and a 19% on Rotton Tomatoes. Basically, Idris Elba is tempted to cheat on Beyoncé with another woman who turns out to be a psycho stalker. I straight-up don’t understand why anyone would even consider cheating on Beyoncé *ahem* but whatevs.
April 1st: ‘P.S. I Love You’
I watched P.S. I Love You for the first time when I was 12, and I cried through the whole movie. Like, start to finish. Probably even through the credits. And for half an hour after it was done. Mopey preteen feelings aside, this movie follows Hillary Swank as she attempts to navigate life without her husband after his untimely death. He sends her letters from beyond the grave to comfort and guide her, which is super impressive considering I can barely remember to check my email during the weekend.
April 1st: ‘Spy Kids’
Some nostalgia for ya. If you’re not scarred from those weird thumb guys from childhood (or was that just me?), you should totally give this a rewatch. No one is too old to watch people playing with a bunch of cool spy sh*t, and that’s a fact.
April 1st: ‘The Fifth Element’
Not to be confused with The Sixth Sense, The Fifth Element is a Bruce Willis movie about saving the earth from aliens, and all that jazz. I honestly haven’t seen it (because I definitely thought it was the same movie as The Sixth Sense), but if you want to, it’ll be on Netflix! Lmk how it is!
April 1st: ‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2′
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2 are both on Netflix now! You know what that means—time to call all your girls, have a sleepover, decide who’s most similar to each character, and comfort your friend when she gets upset that everyone thinks she’s Tibby. Sorry Tibby, but you kinda suck. If that doesn’t sound like your kind of night (can’t imagine why), def still watch these movies. At the very least, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants will give you hope that you’ll finally find a pair of jeans that fit.
April 2nd: Kevin Hart: ‘Irresponsible’
Kevin Hart’s fourth comedy special is coming to Netflix on April 2nd. The special is named Irresponsible, which I can only assume is a reference to his decision to cheat on his wife while she was pregnant. This special is a good watch for comedy fans and people who want to hear what he has to say for himself after cheating on his wife. Filmed in London during Hart’s latest stand-up tour, Irresponsible covers topics ranging from his son’s cell phone usage to Hart cheating on his wife. Did I mention he cheated on his wife? Moving on…
April 3: ‘The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’, Season 2
It’s back, baby! On April 3rd, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina returns for its second season, proving that every day can be Halloween if you have a Netflix account. My friend once described this show as “like Riverdale, but less weirdly sexual and with more demons,” which seems pretty accurate. Season 2 promises to be darker than ever, which I can confirm after seeing the trailer because Sabrina is now a platinum blonde. We’ve all gone through this phase.
April 5th: ‘Unicorn Store’
If you need more Brie Larson in your life after watching Captain Marvel (same), her directorial debut Unicorn Store comes to Netflix on April 5th. Aimless after getting kicked out of school, Larson’s character Kit moves back in with her parents and takes a sh*tty office temp job. When she meets a man who promises to sell her what she wants most, Kit goes full horse girl and quits her job to buy a unicorn. The trailer is full of relatable lines like “I don’t know how to be a grown-up” and “my parents think that I’m insane.”
April 5th: ‘Legacies’, Season 1
The first season of Legacies, the
87th second spin-off of The Vampire Diaries, comes to Netflix on the 5th if you’re into that kind of thing. And by “that kind of thing” I mean supernatural teen TV dramas. I’m trash and I’ll watch 90% of what the CW makes, so this one is a yes from me. It’s about a boarding school for supernatural teens—I could’ve sworn I’ve seen a show or five about that, but I can’t think of any right now, so maybe not.
April 5th: ‘Our Planet’
Planet Earth, but make it Netflix. This is the kind of content you watch stoned on your couch at 3am when you want to be reminded of the earth’s natural beauty. Throughout the course of its eight episode run, Our Planet also promises to showcase the impact of climate change on all aspects of natural life. Sad! But like, actually. Maybe watch this with that one friend who says sh*t like “If global warming is real, then why is it snowing?” BECAUSE IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO SNOW IN JUNE, BECKY.
April 10th: ‘New Girl’, Season 7
If you missed the seventh and final season of New Girl while it was airing, never fear! It arrives on Netflix on April 10th. You might be excited about this, but my friend has a real-life shrine to Nick Miller on her desk at work, so I can guarantee that you are less excited than her. I’ve seen the season already, and while some of the previous seasons are better, it’s definitely worth watching just to see how all the characters end up. Or to get new material for your Nick Miller shrine.
April 12th: ‘The Perfect Date’
Noah Centineo returns to Netflix and your thirsty Twitter feed, probably, with The Perfect Date. If you need more convincing than “Noah Centineo,” it also has a plot and stuff. In an attempt to make money, Noah Centineo creates an app that basically lets him pimp himself out to high school girls who need dates. That’s cool and all, but in the trailer, he keeps saying he needs enough money to “get into Yale,” which, sorry bb, is not how it works (unless you’re Olivia Jade). Regardless, I will be watching this one for SURE.
April 19th: ‘Someone Great’
Someone Great stars Gina Rodriguez as a New York journalist who gets a job in San Fransisco. Confirming what we all knew to be true (MEN. ARE. TRASH.), her boyfriend of nine years (9!!) then breaks up with her so he doesn’t have to try long distance or move. Yeah, long distance never works, but still. Not a cute look for him. The rest of the movie follows Rodriguez’s final night out with her girls. Three cheers for female friendship! The trailer is set to “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo, so you KNOW it’s going down.
April 24th: ‘Bonding’
This seven-episode series is about a recently reunited pair of high school best friends named Tiff and Pete. Wholesome, right? Welllllllllll. It turns out Tiff is a dominatrix, and Pete gets swept into her world after agreeing to be her assistant. There are a lot of very cool latex ~lewks~ in this series if you’re looking for Halloween (or general life) inspo. Bonus, the episodes range from 12 to 18 minutes, so you could prob binge it in like, an hour (don’t check my math on that).
Images: Nicole Honeywill / Unsplash; Giphy (6)