In case you are not
a friend I force to read my articles loyal reader, then you probably don’t know that I’m low-key obsessed with the CW show Riverdale. It’s like if PLL and Gossip Girl had a baby and forced it to wear hipster clothing. Real cutting-edge stuff here. Not only is the show addictive AF but it’s also making me, like, realize some stuff. For instance, suddenly I’m realizing Cole Sprouse seems less like one-half of the whitest twins to ever grace the Disney Channel and more like the the tortured bad boy I want to sext on Saturday night. Also, that gingers are hot. *starts questioning entire existence*
Clearly, it’s been a roller-coaster of emotions for me on Thursday nights. But the real gems on this show are the girls of Riverdale High. Don’t get me wrong, I would one hundred percent bang every cast member on this show because they’re all hot AF, but the girls’ beauty game truly slays. And thanks to CoverGirl, who is apparently plugging the shit out of this show in what I can only assume is some sort of sad attempt to win back the young customer base that Kylie Jenner and her lip kits stole from them, I now know everything I need to look like a CW queen in her prime. And now you will too because here’s how to get the Riverdale look. You’re welcome.
1. Veronica Lodge
Veronica is like the nicer Blair Waldorf that no one asked for. She’s a rich AF former Upper East Sider which is betchy for sure but she’s also slumming it in Riverdale. This girl is an enigma to me. One second she’s slaying in one of her casual couture all-black outfits, toting a Starbucks coffee and flashing her Daddy’s credit card to solve her problems, and the next second she’s like dropping Archie in favor of her her nicegirl BFF’s misplaced feelings. Ugh I hate when teen dramas try and make their characters have actual depth. Like, stop trying to force life lessons down our throats and get back to the storyline that involves Archie’s abs. Thx.
But the one thing I will say about Veronica is that her eyebrow game is on point. Seriously, those eyebrows could have their own spin-off show and I would still watch that shit.
And in order to get the brows known round the world (aka my Thursday night group chat), the first step is to lighten your brows. Because Veronica is
rich environmentally conscious she chooses to use “natural herb-infused eyeshadow (not a brow powder)” to fill in the her brows. But if you DFAG about the environment are broke, then any lighter brown eyeshadow will do. Use an angled liner brush to create that precise look of Veronica’s eyebrows that I’ve come to know and envy. The last step to completing this look is to use MAC’s Brow Set in Clear to ensure that your brows never look chalky or untamed.
2. Betty Cooper
Ah, Betty. Similar to how Freeform brands Emily as The Lesbian of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, The CW is also trying to tell us something with Betty’s look. Hmm it could be the sexless sweaters… or that she only dresses in neutral/white color palettes….or that her ponytail is high enough to touch God…?
Oh, gotttt it. She’s a virgin. That’s v v clever, CW.
But even though Betty is a virgin who can’t drive she’s still got fucking amazing skin. Which is sort of amazing considering the many major plot twists
the producers life throws her way. Like, sure these Riverdale teens have to deal with dead brothers and fucking their teachers and their dads being leaders of an adult biker gang that only wears jean-on-jean ensembles BUT HAVE ANY OF THEM DEALT WITH A PIMPLE BEFORE?? Call me when you have real problems, children.
But back to Betty and her amazing skin. The key to getting the Cooper glow (you should trademark that shit, CW) is a clean matte liquid foundation. It’s makeup so it’ll hide all the shit that’s going wrong with your face this week, but it’s also V natural looking so you can still try and pull the whole “I woke up like this” line.
3. Cheryl Blossom
I know I just said some complimentary things about the above characters, but let’s be real, I only watch this shit to see what fire one-liners will come out of Cheryl’s mouth next. I’ll even forgive her for that weird incest vibe I’m getting from her and her dead brother because she’s that fucking savage.
I love Cheryl for so many reasons. She’s rich AF and she knows it, plus she runs Riverdale like the bad betch she is. Seriously, she makes Alison Delaurentis look like amateur hour. But what I love most about her is her signature look aka wearing the blood of her enemies in the form of a bold red lip.
Again, because CoverGirl is shamelessly plugging this show, they made some sort of “How To” video for sad wannabes in high school and myself. I’m so blessed. Cheryl’s lipstick of choice in the video? Lime Crime’s Matte Velvetine in Red Velvet. This color is bold AF and gives off the vibe that you might verbally eviscerate someone for fucking up the pep rally cheer. Add a top coat of Nivea Chapstick for an extra glossy finish.
And there you have it. You now look like a cast extra on Riverdale, because let’s be real, you probs fucked up those
crystal clear barely instructive beauty instructions I just gave you. Brb if you need me I’ll just be googling pictures of Cole Sprouse and wondering where we all went wrong.