It goes without saying that Corinne Olympios was the sleeper hit of this season of The Bachelor. Like, at first, nobody liked her and thought she would get sent home shortly after napping/not napping through a rose ceremony. But by the Women Tell All special, Bach Nation was like, totally team Corn. She grows on you like a desire for cheesy pasta after a long night of drinking even though you just swore you were cutting out carbs.
Needless to say, some of this crazy drama surrounding Corinne coming out post-Bachelor is keeping her on our radar, mostly because it could affect the probability that she’ll be on the next season on Bachelor in Paradise.
A little bit ago, some fame-whoring rando named Nick Viall Keith Berman started calling gossip mags, telling everyone that Corinne was engaged to some dude she’s been dating for three years. Which, if you can’t put two and two together, would mean that she was on The Bachelor for the wrong reasons (gasp!), which as we all know never happens because everyone is on there for love and never has ulterior motives. Anyway, Corinne then had to go on the defensive and defend whatever honor she has. Corn went on E! News and said she’s totally not engaged and she’s actually considering legal action to get Keith to shut his damn mouth. Her exact words may or may not have been “he doesn’t even go here!”
While she assured E! that she’s not engaged, she did say she is “talking to someone new period.” She added, “It’s really early but I really like the guy.” Could this mean she likes this new guy too much to go on BiP? I’m not here to speculate, but I’m going to speculate anyway because it’s my job.
Here’s what I think: Corinne is almost for sure going to take the producers up on their offer to appear on the show. There’s only so much money you can make off of promoting shitty sunglasses on Instagram, so I have a hard time believing Corinne would choose some dude she’s “talking to” over the chance to make more money, come up with new viral catch phrases, and spray more whipped cream on her boobs on national television. Verdict: Don’t get too comfortable, new guy, because your days are numbered.
Also, does no one find it weird that Chad told Life&Style a few weeks ago that he and Corinne had “texted a bit” and then Corinne turns around and says she’s “talking to someone”? Seems like they’re both being intentionally shady about their relationship. Are they conspiring to create the first Bachelor in Paradise superbaby? God, I hope so. If it’s a boy, they can name it after Chris Harrison (either Chris or Harrison would work, TBH) and if it’s a girl, Raquel, obvs.
If Corinne doesn’t get her time on Bachelor in Paradise, ABC better give her her own spinoff. I’m talking a Flavor of Love-style dating show where Corinne gets to make all the rules. They could call it Nap of Love. Or Cheese Pasta Of Love. Or Platinum Vagine of Love. Or really, any of Corinne’s catchphrases plus “of love” at the end. And instead of giving out roses, she could give out cucumber slices or glasses of Champagne. Honestly, somebody needs to make this happen. Just try and tell me this wouldn’t be the greatest thing to ever happen to television.
After Corinne’s revelation that “no one can make cheese pasta like Raquelle/Raquel,” and the subsequent release of her much anticipated cheese pasta recipe here, we decided we needed to revamp it.
I mean, I’m sure shredded cheddar and cooked white pasta taste, um, great, but we have fancy palates meant for Champagne, oysters, and vodka.
Because we love you and want you to have a fancy and non-nutritious dinner during The Bachelor tonight, here’s our fancy version of Raquel’s famous cheese pasta.
Ingredients
- ½ lb. pasta of your choice – we used farfalle
- 4 tbsp. unsalted butter
- 1 egg yolk
- ¾ cup evaporated milk
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 5 oz. white cheddar cheese (we used a farmhouse cheddar because we’re fancy), shredded
- 5 oz. gruyere cheese, shredded (if you can’t find a block of gruyere, use Swiss)
Cook your fucking pasta which, like, we shouldn’t have to give you a play-by-play on how to do unless apparently you’re Corinne. Drain that shit and set the pasta aside. Grab the same pot you just cooked the pasta in and melt the butter over medium heat.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg yolk, evaporated milk, salt, and pepper. Reduce the heat under your pot to low and pour in the milk and egg mixture. Stir that shit, then add in all of your cheese—stirring continuously until the mixture is smooth.
Add in your drained pasta and stir. Spoon into a bowl and top with extra black pepper if you like.
This goes great with subpar TV shows and a nice full-bodied red.
On this week’s episode of Nick Viall dry humping sluts in different locations, one of said sluts revealed her nanny makes dope cheese pasta. Don’t try to unpack that sentence BTW. It is what it is.
Suspend your criticism of Corinne having a nanny for, like, two seconds, because I would give like, so much to have a nanny around to do all my shit. Jeals.
Anyway, aparently when Corinne’s nanny isn’t whipping up a healthy lunch of only cucumber slices, she makes amazing cheese pasta. It it macaroni and cheese? Is it fettucine alfredo? Is it some kind of amazing special velveeta-based cheese sauce over tortellini? Thanks to the good people at Delish, we have an answer.
Are you ready for this?
- Boil pasta for 10 minutes (add some salt to water).
- Strain out all water.
- Add pasta back to pot, keeping it on low heat.
- Add a lot of shredded cheese.
- Mix until all the cheese melts.
- That’s fucking it.
I’m literally so disappointed. We have all made this fucking recipe while enduring a major cheese craving while blackout like a million times. Either that or you don’t have any Kraft mac and cheese so you attempt to be culinary and make your own and it kind of sucks but you’re starving and probz drunk so you don’t care.
I guess it’s kind of expected knowing poor nanny Raquel’s specialty is chopping up raw vegetables and hand-feeding them to a dumpster fire in a blonde wig.
#FreeRaquel
