While most people have been obsessing over Kylie Jenner’s breakup with Travis Scott, I personally have been focusing on Khloé Kardashian. That is mostly because Khloé has once again gone dark on IG and disabled all comments after posting a photo of herself where she looks virtually unrecognizable. In other news, the sky is blue! The photo in question is a sultry selfie that could be Khloé but also could be a random VSCO girl she found on the internet to pass off as herself and thought we wouldn’t notice. Well guess what, Khloé? WE F*CKING NOTICE. Fans are saying the photo is an egregious use of FaceTune, and while I’m inclined to agree (seriously, her photo editing skills are a crime against humanity), I’m starting to wonder if this selfie, along with countless others, isn’t just a terrible filter or Khloé projecting the fun-house mirror self-image she keeps in her mind unto the masses via a sh*t ton of FaceTune. Maybe Khloé Kardashian really did get an entirely new face.
I know what you’re thinking:
florals for spring Kardashians getting plastic surgery? Groundbreaking. But the thing is, Khloé has adamantly denied having any work done over the years. Back in April, Khloé took to Instagram to be petty AF when responding to fans who commented that perhaps she had gone a bit overboard with recent plastic surgery. I mean, her exact response went something like: “lol, oh man… but sure whatever you want to believe,” which is actually the exact wording I use when my sister confronts me about stealing her shirt and I am definitely wearing said shirt as she puts me on blast over the phone.
Look, I’m of the mind that anyone living within a 50 mile radius of LA has probably had some plastic surgery done, the Kardashians included. And can we really blame them? If I lived in a city where the most skin you were allowed to cover in public was 12 cubic inches then I would also like to look permanently airbrushed at all times. But what do I know? I’m just a 27-year-old woman who spends her free time presenting elaborate powerpoint presentations to my dog on Kardashian conspiracy theories.
ME TO MY DOG AS I WRITE THIS ARTICLE:
But I guess I’m not the only one with this theory about the Kardashians because according to Dr. Manish Shah, a board certified plastic surgeon in Denver, Colorado, Khloé Kardashian has definitely had some work done. “Khloé Kardashian has certainly undergone some major physical changes over the years,” Dr. Shah said. And while some of these changes can be attributed to weight loss (she is killing it with her workout regimen and she does have the
receipts Insta stories to prove it) and normal maturation (aka losing her “baby fat”) the rest definitely involves some cosmetic enhancements.
We asked him to look at a few of Khloé’s most recent Instagram posts and weigh in on if he thought these are just the result of a very warped understanding of photo editing or the work of a skilled plastic surgeon. Here’s what he had to say:
On Her Rumored Nose Job
Look, I love KoKo, I really do, but the nose that’s been showing up on her face in her most recent Insta posts look less like the one she was born with and more like the one He Who Must Not Be Named debuted after his resurrection. I’m sorry, but it’s true!! It’s been rumored for years that Khloé might have gotten a nose job, and just last year Khloé herself even admitted that she’s always wanted one, but that she was “too scared” to go through with it. Her stance has always been that she’s just really good at contouring but, like, I’ve never been able to contour my face so good that I could successfully enter myself into Witness Protection and not even have to change my name. Dr. Shah agrees. “It’s clear that she has had rhinoplasty to give her a much more contoured nose,” he said. “Her original nose had a much wider tip and bridge. This nose is sleek.” And it does look sleeker. So sleek that I have to believe there’s more being done to that face than just going to town with a bombass highlighter.
On If She Has Lip Fillers
“Although Khloé never had thin lips, it seems as though some filler has been used to sculpt them in such a way as to make her face as proportional as possible,” Dr. Shah said. He also thinks she’s had some fillers added to her cheeks to give them more shape and definition, which would make sense considering Khloé used to have a rounder face and now her face has more angles than an isosceles triangle. These seemingly new face angles can also be attributed to some work she might have had done on her jawline. “Before, her jawline was very heavy, and seemed to weigh her face down. Now, it is very balanced, delicate and feminine,” Dr. Shah said. “This could be the result of liposuction of the jawline, in tandem with weight loss, and perhaps some artful fillers to give the jaw the desired shape.”
On Her Other Enhancements
Like any good girl from Calabasas, Khloé has also probably dabbled with Botox. “Her forehead is completely smooth,” Dr. Shah said. “That would indicate Botox. Her eyebrows are also in a higher position which could also indicate that they have been elevated by strategically placed Botox.” Dr. Shah thinks she may have also undergone a skin tightening treatment like radiofrequency (a technique that uses radio frequency energy to heat tissue and stimulate collagen production in order to reduce the appearance of fine lines or loose skin). Either way, Khloé looks absolutely unreal these days (no, seriously, it’s absolutely not real) but if it’s making Khloé feel good as hell, then who am I to judge?
So there you have it! Definitive proof that Khloé Kardashian has had some plastic surgery. Sort of. For those of you who are shocked by this turn of events, I think you should also know that the Easter Bunny isn’t real either. It’s just your mom buying discounted CVS candy and whatever else was featured at the checkout aisle at 2am the night before. Kisses!!
Images: @khloekardashian /Instagram (3); Giphy (1)
Hello! And welcome back to your regularly scheduled Kardashian news breakdown. It’s like The Sup, but about butts and Photoshop, and is far more judgmental. Fun! For those of you who don’t have working eyes and ears and thus haven’t been following along, Khloé Kardashian has had a rough couple of weeks lately with the media. This is in part because we’ve been savagely roasting her ass for the Photoshop abominations she’s been trying to pass off as legitimate Instagram posts and, like, we’re not going to apologize for that. It’s called investigative journalism, sweetie, look it up!! And, look, the articles don’t all come from a bad place here. Khloé’s been my favorite Kardashian ever since Kim and Kris started gracing our screens in their matching Juicy tracksuits with their delusions of grandeur, but MY GOD, Khloé, I can’t see one more lumpy arm or a butt with missing chunks on my IG feed or I’m going to have to start reporting your posts to Instagram HQ for offensive material. Consider this your last warning, Khlo! But Khloé recently just came for all her photoshop haters, and let’s just say it was a petty masterpiece.
The clapback went down in Khloé’s IG comments, because apparently the comments section on Instagram is destined to be our generation’s courtroom. Here’s the sitch: last Friday Khloé posted a selfie to Instagram in which people in the comments section heavily implied that she had tampered with the photo. I’m not sure what gave her away: the millennial pink overlay or the fact that her face in this photo is entirely different than the one she was born with? Khloé wrote “Good vibes only” as her caption, which is pretty much an invitation for people to troll her photo—at least that’s what I tell my sister every time she thinks she can get away with using that caption (it’s for your own good, sis!). Judge the photo for yourself:
Look, I’m no Photoshop expert (you’ll have to slide into Holly Gobetchy’s DMs for that), so I’m not going to blast Khloé for what could be another photoshop fail or just a really good
plastic surgeon “filter.” But my feelings are apparently too nice about the matter because fans WENT IN on Khloé for Photoshopping her selfie, to which Khloé responded with more passive aggression than I use to email HR about our lack of a summer Friday policy. Let’s look at the comment, shall we:
Wooowww the kissy face emoji, Khloé? Really? That’s the emoji I usually reserve for commenting on any sorority sister’s IG post thanking people for birthday wishes when I did not in fact wish her a happy birthday, but okay.
Let’s break down the comment real quick, shall we? We have one commenter @missdingledobbs, who thinks that Khloé photoshopped her selfie because in the photo we can’t see the mole that Khloé was born with on her face. We also can’t see the nose, lips, or cheek bones, but sure let’s focus on the mole. We have another commenter, @asmarsmi, defending Khloé by saying: “I have 3 on mine. Ahh the miracles of foundation and laziness of taking it off with a q-tip in those spots.” That’s the comment Khloé responds to with three kissy face emojis, effectively shading her hater and saying without really saying that this photo is the result of a sh*t ton of foundation and not photoshopping. K.
But Khloé’s not done yet! Another commenter said: “your eyes got pulled back too much.” To which Khloé responded with:
“@mari_888_sol so now my eyes are pulled back? Lol oh man… you guys are really reaching. But sure, whatever you want to believe. I’m good with whatever babe much love sent your way.”
Tbh I think Khloé has a fair point here. This photo was clearly not photoshopped so much as it was sculpted by her plastic surgeon in a remote Calabasas location 8-12 months prior. Come on, anyone can see that. Get your facts right, @mari_888_sol!
Well that’s your daily dose of Kardashian news. I’d love to say “that’s all for today” or even “that’s all for this hour” but knowing Kris Jenner and also Khloé’s passion for FaceTune, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us a lot sooner than that. Until then!
Images: @khloekardashian /Instagram (3)
Hello, and welcome back to your new favorite reality show, WTF Is Going On With Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande? Last week, I updated you on all the major happenings with this summer’s most fascinating couple, and I really thought that would hold us over for a few weeks. I mean, how can two people possibly do so many important things? Well, Pete Davidson just went and proved me completely wrong, so here we are. After spending the last two months running a glorified Ariana Grande fan page, Pete deleted every single one of his Instagram posts on Monday. It’s all gone.
I gotta say, I’m probably more surprised than I should be. Pete Davidson’s Instagram is the equivalent of a star that burns really bright for 10 minutes, then is done. No one cared until he was with Ariana, and now here we are. But why? There are several potential sides to this story, so let’s examine them.
After deleting all his posts, people understandably had a lot of questions, so Pete posted one last story to clarify the reasons behind his decision. Here’s a screenshot of that story, which is your classic Notes app screenshot, accompanied by lots of peace signs and every single color of heart emoji:
Hmm, much to consider. This whole thing reads like something Pete would say in real life, so at least I believe that he actually wrote it. I can’t help but roll my eyes at the parts about his real life being “f*cking lit,” but I do like the part about referring to himself as “your neighborhood goon.” I’m gonna start using that. And honestly, I understand the part about Instagram not making him feel good. I have approximately two people in my life that I would consider haters, and it’s already a lot for me to handle. Pete has very publicly struggled with depression and addiction, so he should definitely do what’s best for his mental health.
Going with Pete’s explanation, it would seem like the last straw for him was something Ariana posted on Sunday. It was a cute tribute to her late grandfather, who passed away four years ago. Normal stuff, and if you’ve followed Ari for a long time, you know that her family is super important to her. People got heated when Pete commented “cutie” on the photo, and I gotta be honest, that’s a weird thing to say. Pete said that he was calling Ari’s grandpa a cutie, but that is not normal language people use to describe an 80-year-old man who died four years ago. It’s language people use to describe their fiancée when they don’t realize they’re being annoying AF.
Whatever Pete actually meant, #CutieGate was too much for him to handle, and now his Instagram is more empty than my brain after watching seven consecutive episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills yesterday. But is there more to the story than Pete being tired of the trolls?
Obviously, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have been very public with their relationship up until this point. A lot of celebrities these days are ultra secretive about new relationships, but they’ve practically been begging for attention on Instagram since day one. We all love knowing everything that’s going on with these two, but maybe everyone doesn’t feel the same way. WTF do I mean by that? Yesterday, blind gossip site Crazy Days and Nights posted an item that seems to be about Ariana Grande, saying that a certain singer’s PR agency is asking her to choose between her agency and her S.O., based on some information that they don’t want to go public. Neither Ariana nor Pete’s team has confirmed the rumor, but wouldn’t this add an interesting layer to this story??
More than likely, Pete truly just needs a break from the social media onslaught, but this couple has put us through too much craziness this summer not to wonder what’s going on. Ariana still has an upcoming album to promote, so her Instagram page probably isn’t going anywhere. Unless she pulls a Taylor Swift. Ugh, please no. Ariana has now turned off her comments, which is a major downer, but will she keep posting pictures of her and Pete? You better believe I’ll be watching with a magnifying glass, because I truly cannot get enough.
Images: @petedavidson / Instagram; @arianagrande / Instagram