2021 will go down in history for the celeb couples that came from it. There were rekindled relationships, rumored romances finally confirmed, and pairings that no one ever saw coming. But as we ring in the new year, we are here to tell you the couples that won’t last to see next year’s ball drop.
Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck
What a ride. Bennifer V2 has been fun to watch. Who knew a PR stunt relationship could bring our nation together again? Coming off the heels of her public breakup with A-Rod, J.Lo needed something big to change the narrative. But no one expected what came next.
By reuniting Bennifer, J.Lo yanked A-Rod from the pop culture zeitgeist, cementing herself as the clear winner of the breakup. Ben got to clean up his image, getting back on track as a movie star and hopefully, giving up his role as source material for some of the internet’s favorite memes.
Sometime this year, well timed around a launch for J.Lo, they will amicably go their separate ways having taken what they needed from this rekindled showmance. We all owe them a big thank you, though. They were a bright spot in a tough year.
Kim Kardashian & Pete Davidson
Whether a PR stunt that went on too long or a meet-cute on the set of SNL, Kimmy is half a lawyer now and Pete’s partying ways will drive them apart before the end of Q1. Don’t get us wrong, we love sugar mama Kim. She deserves a little fun. And whether it’s Pete’s BDE or his great personality that kept Kim’s attention, this one lasted far longer than the contract Kris Jenner wrote. But it’s time for Kim to say thank u, next.
Zoë Kravitz & Channing Tatum
When these two started popping up all over New York City, we were surprised, and then delighted by the onslaught of streetwear inspo. We all enjoyed this unexpected duo serving us looks as they were photographed drinking iced coffee about town, but, just like a cute Zara top, this couple won’t last forever.
Zoë’s star continues to rise, while Channing is working on another Magic Mike sequel that no one asked for. Breakups can be hard, but at least we’ll always have those Met Gala photos.
John Mulaney & Olivia Munn
John Mulaney’s love life setting TikTok detectives ablaze this year sounds like a Mulaney bit, but that’s the world we lived in in 2021. Murky timelines and a very unexpected pregnancy later, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn emerged as a full-on couple ready to bring a new baby into this world.
They were on. They were off. They were confusing. Their relationship started in 2021 (we think), brought a baby into this world in 2021, and will be staying in 2021. But a baby is for life, so hopefully they go their separate ways amicably.
Michael B. Jordan & Lori Harvey
When Michael’s not busy being the zaddy of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he is beefing up his already sizable acting portfolio. And within the last year, Lori’s built a career as more than just Steve Harvey’s daughter. We do love to see it. But let’s be real. Two people this pretty cannot mate for life—look at Brad and Angie. We predict they’ll end up blaming their breakup on busy schedules and “being at different stages in life” (which is code for “there’s a 10-year age gap”).
Olivia Wilde & Harry Styles
No pairing has ever shocked the internet more. Who remembers when Ashton and Demi blew our minds with their age gap? Well, Olivia is further proof that if men can do it, women can do it too.
Olivia and Harry didn’t give us much, but we analyzed every grainy video of her dancing at his concerts. Now that Olivia’s ex, Jason Sudeikis, is back on the dating scene post-divorce, we can finally feel good that all’s well that ends well. But watermelons are a seasonal fruit, and this watermelon sugar high will have to have a comedown eventually.
Zendaya and Tom Holland
We know. We know. We don’t want to be the ones to say it. We don’t even want to put this energy into the universe, but someone has to tell the hard truths. Their chemistry is electric. She is the high fashion queen to his short king. And after years of rumors, we finally got some confirmation that this is more than just a friendship. Or is it?
Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but look at the facts: The rumors of them dating started dropping at the exact time buzz for their new Spider-Man movie began. The movie that was positioned to save the box office and bring Americans back to the theater. Wouldn’t these two professionals do anything to be the heroes of the film industry? And how easy would it be for two great friends to share a few chaste kisses and flirt a little bit during press interviews?
Like we said, we hope we’re wrong and this one is for real and forever. But once Spider-Man numbers are in and these two start work on their next A-list project, our spidey senses are telling us this relationship will slowly fade away.
Images: RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images; Emma McIntyre/Getty Images; James Devaney/GC Image; JOCE/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
After nearly a year of dating and countless walks around the block, not-so-subtly toting various Dunkin’ Donuts menu items, news broke that the unimaginatively named BenAna was no more: Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas have split.
Their breakup is playing out much like their relationship did, with their drama being thrown into my face every time I open up IG. Am I surprised they broke up? No. Am I surprised at how their very public breakup is playing out? A little. Tbh, I’d expect something like this from like, Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. (Maybe it’s just because they, too, were fond of staged quarantine walks.)
Then again, should I be taken aback by this high school-esque post-breakup behavior (ill-advised haircuts and all)? Let’s take a look back. When they first started dating, Ana told her friends Ben is “the best boyfriend ever”. The couple even got matching necklaces. (At least they had the common sense not to get tattoos.) I wouldn’t be surprised if Ana made a shirt that said “I <3 Ben” and wore it under all her clothes.
A source told PEOPLE that their split was “mutual” and “completely amicable”, but if this is considered a friendly breakup, then all of my exes and I are best friends. For one, sources report that Ana was the one who initiated the breakup, and she did so via phone call. Is this 2008, and are we Joe Jonas? Ben and Ana have been together for a year, and Ana lives with the man! You’re telling me that she couldn’t have given him a heads up in person on her way out the door? She has to grab her sh*t anyway.
While the source insisted, “there is deep love and respect there”, Ben’s trash bin says otherwise. Yesterday, Ben’s cardboard cut-out of Ana was spotted being thrown out outside his home. The guy didn’t even bother to mask the fact that it’s Ana; he just tossed her nonchalantly for the garbage men, and paparazzi, to see. You’re telling me he couldn’t just burn the cut-out in his backyard? No, this was deliberate.
Ana, for her part, was a little more subtle in communicating her feelings, though we all get the message: she went ahead and surprised the world with some fresh micro bangs. I mean, who among us has not made a tragic and rash hair decision in the throes of a breakup?
So, to quote Cardi B, what was the reason for the split? Did quarantining together finally break the couple? Did they run out of Dunkin’ Donuts menu items to try? Did they simply get tired of taking unmasked walks and pretending to laugh at each other’s jokes? Did the paparazzi stop taking their calls??
For now, the prevailing narrative is that there are no hard feelings. A source told InTouch that the reason for the breakup was because Ana is “gallivanting” around the world without Ben, and it’s left him feeling lost and needy. According to PEOPLE, “Ana doesn’t want to be Los Angeles based and Ben obviously has to since his kids live in Los Angeles.” Another source reported that it’s because Ben doesn’t want any more kids, but Ana does.
The couple met in New Orleans in 2019 while filming the upcoming so-called “erotic thriller” Deep Water, and quickly went on a celebrity relationship press tour: first visiting de Armas’s home country of Cuba in March 2020 (mid-pandemic), and later going to Costa Rica. They were even photographed with Affleck’s children and ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, suggesting everything in the relationship was rosy. But alas, everyone runs out of photo opps eventually, and the relationship was not meant to be.
What’s next for Ben and Ana? Maybe Ben will toss her things on his lawn, or wear a T-shirt emblazoned with a shady message. Perhaps Ana will get together with a new man within the week, one who’s significantly younger than Ben. One thing we can bet on is a seriously uncomfortable press tour for Deep Water (and probably just as bad ticket sales).
Whatever the reason, I’ll miss this couple. Not because I thought they were necessarily a good match, but because their obviously staged paparazzi shoots and vague donut sponcon were a consistent tabloid fixture in these inconsistent times. I’ll stay refreshing Instagram, because I’m sure we haven’t heard the last from this couple, who was just as attention-seeking in their relationship as they are in their breakup. Even though something went wrong for the pair, at least they know how to do one thing right together: keep us entertained.
Images: BG004/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
I think we can agree that 2020 was the most dramatic season year of all time. But you know who it was especially tough for? Lol no, not your grandma in her nursing home you idiot, I’m talking about celebrity couples. That’s right, they were dropping like flies this year, and I can only assume that’s because once you strip away the ability to jet off to exotic locations or drink tequila with George Clooney at Soho House and realize you’re stuck spending every waking moment on the couch with a fellow narcissist with an eighth grade education, you start to reevaluate your decisions. And reevaluate they did. Some quietly (Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis), and some very, very, messily. And that’s who I want to focus on today because, well, it’s more fun for me. So now that 2020 is mercifully taking its final breaths, let’s look back at the most dramatic celebrity breakups of the year.
Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich
I mean, yes, anyone with eyes and ears living on this planet saw this breakup coming a mile away. But could we have predicted the drama with which it ended? Fine, probably also yes, but boy has it been a beautiful gift in this bucket full of sewage water masquerading as a year. Let’s look at what went wrong here. Back in March, when we were all still naive souls with perfectly maintained gel manicures, Demi and Max got together. She popped up accidentally on his IG live at the end of the month, and that’s when it was officially confirmed they were dating. So I guess that means people watch his IG live then? What a sad world we live in. By July they were engaged, and by the end of September it was over. Shocking! And the rumor was his intentions were not genuine and he was using her for PR. Even more shocking! Now this is where it gets good. Max claimed on his Instagram stories that he heard about their breakup through a tabloid, which tbh sounds right about the level of respect this relationship deserved. Demi dropped a song called “Still Have Me” and he dropped an insane IG live comparing himself to Pete Davidson.
not max ehrich dragging the ariana & pete situation in his mess.. also his acting is so bad pls pic.twitter.com/N3BAHddSRT
— h❀ (@fentgrande) October 2, 2020
Then he called the paparazzi on himself crying on the beach, which for me is just a regular Saturday and not really a photo-worthy event, but sure Max, whatever you need to do for relevance. Rumors were swirling that he wouldn’t leave Demi alone, and then we finally made it to the People’s Choice Awards, hosted by Miss Demi Lovato herself. She mentioned the engagement and breakup in her monologue, and of course Max jumped on that.
HIM TALKING ABOUT CLOUT? MAX EHRICH? OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? pic.twitter.com/nHESRD4OX2
— ً (@soIoIovato) November 19, 2020
It’s like the breakup that never ends. AND THEN, we finally got our punishment for even entertaining this man for one second: his debut single.
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As if we haven’t all been through enough.
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green
I was really rooting for these two. Not that many couples that got together when one was a practically a teenager and one was a grown man really go the distance, but in the 15 years they were together they managed to get married, have three kids, and only cancel one divorce somewhere in the middle. Is that a love story straight from Shakespeare, or what? Sadly, BAG confirmed their split this May, after Megan was spotted hanging out with Machine Gun Kelly. Megan and MGK met on the set of Midnight in the Grass, a movie produced by MY MAN aka RAND aka Randall Emmett, so I guess it will be as good as Gotti. This split started to get superrrrrr messy over their kids. My apologies for using children as a basis for my story, but their parents did it first.
First, Megan posted this shot with MGK.
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Sweet, I guess. In, like, an Angelina wears a vial of Billy Bob’s blood kind of way.
So naturally, a 47-year old man would respond to that this way.
Achingly beautiful boys…… My heart is yours pic.twitter.com/eWQwcblhg2
— Brian Austin Green (@withBAGpod) August 5, 2020
I wonder how it feels to be this petty? I imagine exhilarating at first, but then the crushing shame spiral hits. Not speaking from experience, of course.
Then on Halloween, Brian Austin Green posted a photo with their youngest child Journey in the frame and Megan just DRAGGED him in the comments.
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I honestly have such secondhand embarrassment from their drama. If Megan was any older I’d assume she meant to send a private text but instead accidentally responded in the comments like my grandpa sometimes does, but considering this message isn’t in all caps and signed by name like a grandfather would do, I suspect it was on purpose. Why anyone would do this is beyond me. Maybe to shame her ex, maybe to make herself look better, maybe to use big words to prove my eighth grade education claims wrong? Whatever the reason, y’all are gross. BAG didn’t respond, but he did repost the picture with the kid cropped out. How mature of both of them.
Colton Underwood and Cassie Randolph
We all know this story. Boy goes on reality TV show. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy jumps fence for girl. Girl begrudgingly agrees to be with boy for Instagram sponsorships. It’s beautiful, it’s magical, it ends in a restraining order. Back in May, Cassie and Colton announced their breakup, with Colton saying, “some people are just meant to be friends.” I’d imagine that’s especially true in cases where one person doesn’t really like the other, right Cassie? Things seemed amicable-ish until September, when Cassie filed a restraining order against Colton, accused him of sending unsettling text messages, and placing a tracking device on her car. TBH I think we could have all guessed that a man who would jump a fence for a woman wouldn’t be stopped from placing a tracking device on her car because of a pesky little thing called the law. Consider it jumped. Days before the court date in November, Cassie dismissed the order against Colton. Apparently they came to a private agreement. I bet those texts were even more unsettling.
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Yeah, risking arrest.
Vanessa Morgan and Michael Kopech
Any other Riverdale fans out there? Because I’m worried about Toni Topaz. Vanessa Morgan got married to White Sox pitcher and Brielle Biermann’s ex, Michael Kopech, in January of 2020. In April, she posted about his birthday on Instagram. And then in July she announced she was pregnant.
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It seemed a little weird that she referred to the child as “my baby boy” instead of “our baby boy” but hey, she’s the one who’s going to have to push a living being out of her vagina, so I guess it’s really her prerogative to refer to him in whatever way she wants. Then, just three days later it was reported that Michael had filed for divorce in June. WHAT?! Her rep confirmed that Michael is the father of her child and that’s literally it. Complete and utter radio silence about the matter. Like, quieter than me during that final court scene in The Undoing quiet. I think this one is so dramatic because I’m dying for answers and they won’t give them to me. Is anyone reading in the confidence of Vanessa Morgan and willing to betray her trust for a curious writer in the tristate area? PLEASE?
Offset and Cardi B
Look, I know these two are back together, but they’re on and off so much that maybe by press time they’ll be broken up again and I’ll be right. I’m taking my chances. In September it was reported that Cardi B and Offset were to divorce after three years of marriage. The rumors were that he was unfaithful, she hit a breaking point, and finally filed for divorce. He had previously been caught cheating three months after they got married, and then in 2018 they welcomed daughter Kulture. Between then and now, A LOT of drama has happened. Bartenders at a strip club claimed that Cardi B ordered an attack on them for allegedly cheating with Offset, Cardi and Offset split in December 2018 with her claiming they grew out of love, Offset begged her to come back on Instagram, and they reunited officially at the 2019 Grammys.
Now, I’m no relationship expert—I share a bed with my dog—BUT I think it’s safe to say maybe these two should break up? Personally, I think once hitmen get involved the government should force you to divorce. But apparently these two can’t stay apart. In October 2020, one month after filing for divorce, Cardi and Offset got back together, with her sharing on Instagram live “It’s really hard to have no dick.” Well, can’t argue with that logic *shrugs*.
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The modern love note.
Armie Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers
Armie Hammer, star of the recently released Rebecca, both twins in The Social Network, but mostly just hot rich person, broke up with his wife Elizabeth Chambers after 10 years of marriage. Considering their love story is about as exciting as soggy white bread, you wouldn’t expect their breakup to be that dramatic, right? Well, well, well you’d be wrong, because after wasting his prime sexy years on one lady, Armie is finally free to put his dick in everything he can find. First, he was spotted out with Rumer Willis looking prettyyyyy cozy. Then he was rumored to be dating Josh Lucas’s ex-wife, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, and some app founder named Courtney. Now the word is that Armie is dating an Instagram model named Paige Lorenze. And according to submissions on DeuxMoi, Armie was not with his kids for Thanksgiving, and Elizabeth was caught liking an Armie hate account. EEK. This is a bad look and I love it. Is there anything more satisfying than nearly 40-year-olds acting like drunk, vengeful teens? I think not.
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That’s a divorce look if I ever saw one
And those are this year’s messiest breakups! Although, with a few days left in 2020, it’s anyone’s guess what will happen.
Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; fentgrande, sololovato, withBAGpod/Twitter; maxehrich, meganfox, commentsbycelebs, bachelorabc, vanessamorgan, offsetyrn, armiehammeradoration/Instagram
If, for some reason, you haven’t watched You on Netflix, then I can only assume you’ve actually been doing something productive with your life during quarantine. But instead of being spooked by Joe Goldberg and his obsessive antics as you prepare to go nowhere this Halloween, behold the haunting real-life version: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich’s failed “whirlwind” relationship, if that’s what we’re calling this.
Demi and Max first started dating at the beginning of quarantine, which apparently was a justification for couples to move in together after just having met and not a reason to question their attachment styles. Let’s call this “red flag numero uno.”
Then came the engagement after six months of dating, featuring an engagement ring the size of a parking lot. Look, I’m not one to gem-shame, but I’m gonna have to call B.S. on this massive stone slab purchased on a soap opera star’s dime. Sure, call it jealousy over the fact that my lockdown lover gifted me with a UTI instead of a 5-carat diamond, but hold the judgement—you were thinking it too.
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So here’s where things start to get weird (as if they weren’t already). While doing what diehard fans do best and going full CSI mode in hopes of digging up some skeletons in his closet, Demi stans basically hit the investigative jackpot. They noticed that not long before Max had his sights set on Demi, he was leaving thirst trap comments all over photos of Ariana Grande, Madison Beer, Miley Cyrus… and (get ready for this)… Demi’s archnemesis, Selena Gomez.
Sidenote: If you’ve ever had a friend try to tell you you should really take out the trash and dump your loser BF, this one’s for you.
In that vein, fans tried to tell Demi that her man was a fame leech by sharing tweet receipts and Instagram Live streams of Ehrich vowing to marry Selena and saying that obviously she’s prettier than Demi.
Demi Lovato’s fiancé, Max Ehrich, is currently being critisized by fans after his old tweets and comments concerning Selena Gomez have resurfaced on the internet. pic.twitter.com/D7ENJMd9sq
— Pop Tingz (@ThePopTingz) September 12, 2020
Demi then attempted to stick up for Max by claiming that the tweets were all “fake” and “doctored” by fans as she continued to try and deflect the truth about her fiancé. But, as anyone who’s tried to go to bat for a sh*tbag knows, that didn’t last long.
Not much longer after that, sh*t hit the fan and the two reportedly called it quits last week. Or, I guess I shouldn’t say “the two”, because apparently Max found out about the breakup the same way we all did, by like, a push notification from Page Six.
Instead of taking the giant L and taking some time to recoup, Ehrich took a page out of my vengeful 16-year-old handbook and started firing off not-so-cryptic Instagram stories, saying, “Imagine finding out the status of your relationship through a tabloid while you’re in the middle of filming a biopic movie about a Pastor in a Christian Church whose intention in the film is to help people.” Like… ok? What does the plot of the movie have to do with anything? He does know that playing a pastor who helps people does not make you one, right?
Did this pastor also happen to conveniently emotionally manipulated and trap someone who’s vulnerable and make them lose faith in love all over again because they used that person to further their career? I wonder, Max Ehrich. pic.twitter.com/OxKDYteqyl
— shawn (@istiIIhaveme) September 26, 2020
So obviously, I imagine it would hurt for someone to find out about the end of their relationship in a tabloid… but was that part even true? A source claiming to have inside knowledge told E! News that Max “is lying” about the timeline here, and that Demi told him it was over before anything became public. The source continued, saying that by making up this story, Max is “just trying to stay relevant. Her family thinks he is crazy and is so relieved she has taken this step.” Honestly, posting all those Instagram stories was messy AF in the first place, but it’s even more cringeworthy if he’s going so far as to lie about what happened.
In the wake of the E! News source questioning his credibility, Max continued to spiral on Instagram, accusing Demi of trying to “thank you, next” him. He also wrote, “I’m just a human being who has to go to work tomorrow AM where there are families with kids relying on me.” I won’t claim to know every detail of this situation, but I feel like Max is being just a tad overdramatic. Like, first you’re playing a pastor who helps people, now there are families with kids relying on you? Does Max understand the definition of acting? Serious question.
Nevertheless, he continued to post, saying in his next story that he and Demi had not spoken on the phone, and “haven’t even officially ended anything.” He also referred to Demi by her full name, Demetria, and said he just wants her “to be healthy and safe.” I’m getting the vibe that Max is the kind of guy who needs to be broken up with five times before he finally takes the hint, so good luck to Demi.
From there, things got even more bizarre, as Max pivoted to posting about Demi’s music. After telling Demi (again, via public Instagram story) “If you’re reading this… I love you always… unconditionally… no matter what,” he wrote that “Demetria is THEE best female vocalist alive. And everyone should know it. She inspires me every day and is an INCREDIBLE human being. I know it’s not her writing these stories, it’s a machine. I love her unconditionally.” Sorry, what? A machine? Is he complimenting her or sh*tting on her lyrics? Pick a lane, Max!
Clearly I can’t seem to crack the case on any of this guy’s motives, because we’ve somehow managed to go from twin flame soulmates to “your lyrics are trash” in a matter of six months. It feels like he’s still trying to play mind games, meanwhile Demi is already totally checked out, eating Taco Bell with her friends. I would definitely choose the Taco Bell over a mid-tier soap star who already pledged his love to every other pop star out there.
If the CSI Lovato stans are reading this, can you guys check that Max hasn’t been to Home Depot to purchase plexiglass lately? Truly, we hope that ~Demetria~ is safe, happy, and far away from this guy. Let this be a lesson to all of you who moved too fast during quarantine: regular dating rules still apply.
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Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com; demiandmaxupdates, maxehrich / Instagram; thepoptingz, istillhaveme, foreveronlydemi / Twitter
For the six of you who are somehow still watching Riverdale, I’m so sorry. As we all know, we’re in a major period of celebrity breakups, and another couple has bitten the dust. Over the weekend, it was reported that Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse have broken up after three years of dating, and it seems like it might be real this time. I don’t know if there’s anyone who’s actually surprised about this, but I guess it’s still a big deal.
On Monday, People and Page Six both reported that sources confirmed that Cole and Lili are no longer together. According to the Page Six source, they “split before the pandemic hit, and have been quarantining separately.” The source added that “they remain good friends,” because god forbid two celebs hate each other like normal exes. If this timeline is accurate, then I’ve got a long list of follow-up questions.
The biggest indicator of this split came last week, when Riverdale actor Skeet Ulrich slipped up on an Instagram Live. When asked by a viewer if he thinks Cole and Lili are a cute couple, he responded “I think they were a cute couple.” Lmao, WERE. His girlfriend, Megan Blake Irwin, chimed in, agreeing that they *were* a cute couple, and added that “they’re both beautiful people.” I love mess. How many angry texts do you think Cole and Lili sent Skeet after this? My guess is more than three, less than 12. How bizarre that in 2020, half of our celeb news comes from people saying things they weren’t supposed to say on Instagram Live. Mason Disick was ahead of his time.
As we all know, this is not the first time that Cole and Lili have been on the receiving end of breakup rumors. Last summer, it seemed like they allegedly (maybe?) broke up, but then they clapped back with that bizarre magazine cover and some smug Instagram captions. We never found out if they actually split up during that time, which is exactly how they wanted it.
But the current breakup apparently happened a couple months ago, which would explain last month’s rumors that Cole was hanging out with/dating/hooking up with Kaia Gerber. Of course, this led to a lot of speculation about the status of his relationship with Lili, but no one actually knew anything for sure. He seemed to respond to those rumors in an Instagram story, referencing “rumors and slander” and saying that “while I truly never intended to indulge any part of my private life to the ravenous horde, it’s clear my restraint in updating them has allowed them to push their own agenda onto my habits and lifestyle.” He also told everyone to “eat my delectable plump ass,” because of course he did.
I get that being an asshole on social media is kind of Cole Sprouse’s thing, but this couple has always rubbed me the wrong way. Cole and Lili have always been one of those couples who seem to want it both ways. Like, they star on a hit show together, and have done joint red carpets and magazine covers, but they always seem weirdly caught off-guard when their millions of fans are curious about their relationship. Of course, everyone is entitled to privacy, but Cole Sprouse has been at this a little too long to act surprised at people prying into his personal life.
I certainly wouldn’t expect any kind of confirmation from Cole and Lili on this one, but these sources feel pretty realistic to me. We always knew that this quarantine period was going to lead to a lot of shifts in celebrity couples, and now we can just add Bughead to the list of quarantine breakups. That being said, it wouldn’t shock me if they’re suddenly back together next time they have to do Riverdale press. The network heart wants what it wants!
Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
As the coronavirus has spread, and we’ve all been forced into various forms of quarantine, this spring has been a stressful time for everyone. For some of us, it means we’ve spent way too much time alone (hi), but for those in relationships, it’s been an intense few months of ~quality time~ together. I’m sure this has brought some couples closer together, but not every relationship is meant to survive, and quarantine szn has turned into breakup szn.
Several high-profile celebrity couples have called it quits since mid-March, when things really got real with Miss Rona, and the details are fascinating. From out-of-nowhere divorces to couples that seemed like a ticking time bomb, here are all the celeb couples that have broken up during quarantine.
Mary-Kate Olsen & Olivier Sarkozy
I won’t pretend to be sad about this relationship ending, because it always felt a little weird. But I was surprised by last week’s sudden revelation that Mary-Kate wants a divorce. I say “wants” because for the time being, the New York courts aren’t accepting new divorce filings, and her request for an emergency divorce was denied. According to new sources, one of the major issues in their marriage was that Mary-Kate wants to have kids, and Olivier isn’t interested in having any more. Now, he’s trying to terminate the lease on their main apartment together, and it seems like things will probably be ugly between these two for a while.
Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler
Am I the only one who feels like this happened six years ago already? As we all know by now, Kristin and Jay announced their decision to divorce last month, and they’ve already settled their disputes surrounding custody of their children, and whether Kristin is allowed to buy a gigantic house (answer key: joint custody, and yes). With allegations of misconduct, this seemed like it would be dramatic at the jump, but things seem to have worked out okay for now.
Surprisingly, Kristin announced this week that after three seasons, she won’t be continuing with her reality show Very Cavallari. Honestly, the show is okay at best, so this isn’t a great loss, but I wasn’t expecting it. If anything, I thought Kristin would use the show, which has previously focused a lot on her home life with Jay, as a way to launch her new chapter as a single woman. But it’s important to note that this decision would potentially clear a path for Kristin to return to The Hills in the future. Much to consider!
Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green
It’s been a long road for these two, but it seems that they may finally be done for good. They started dating way back in 2004 (when she was just 18), and eventually got married in 2010. After having two kids, Megan filed for divorce in 2015, but they got back together and had a third child the following year. Fast forward to 2020, and they’re officially separated again. After Megan was seen hanging out with Machine Gun Kelly and Brian posted the bizarre butterfly Instagram above, he confirmed their separation on his podcast. Thankfully, he said he and Megan are on good terms, and will still go on trips and spend time together with their kids. I’m glad they’re in a good place for co-parenting, but it looks like it’s finally the end of the line for their relationship.
Cara Delevingne & Ashley Benson
Out of all the breakups on this list, this one hit hardest. Earlier this month, reports surfaced that Cara and Ashley had split after roughly two years of dating. It seemed like they went through a lot together—they even bought a sex bench! While neither of them gave any details, things seemed pretty final when Ashley was recently spotted kissing G-Eazy. Sad, but I would kiss G-Eazy too. In her first public comment on the whole situation, Cara posted an Instagram story asking people to stop coming for Ashley, and saying that only the two of them know the truth. Ashley reshared the story, so whatever happened here, at least it seems like they don’t hate each other.
Stacey Dash & Jeffrey Marty
I loved Stacey Dash in Clueless, but times have changed. These days, she’s mostly known for her questionable political views and messy personal life, and she announced last month that her fourth marriage was coming to an end. Dash and Jeffrey Marty got married in April 2018, just TEN DAYS after meeting for the first time. I’m sorry, but nothing good has ever come of getting married that quickly. Their relationship has been rocky, and last year, Stacey called the cops, alleging Jeffrey tried to choke her. But when they showed, Stacey ended up getting arrested for assaulting Jeffrey. The charges were ultimately dropped, but it seems like these two might be better off apart.
Considering that LA’s stay home order has already been extended through July, I’m sure that there will be some more Hollywood quarantine breakups in the weeks and months to come. We already have some ideas about which couples might not make it, but you never know who will be next. For a second, I was even scared that Bella Thorne and her Italian pop star boyfriend had broken up after she tweeted about being done with dating, but he’s back to commenting “would smash” on her Instagrams, so I think we’re good. It was a close call, and in times like this, these breakups can come out of nowhere.
Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; kristicncavallari, arent_you_that_guy, ashleybenson, staceydash / Instagram
Raise your hand if you’re ready to kill your quarantine partner! As my mother reads this over my shoulder and slowly raises her hand next to me, I assume many of you are experiencing the same thing. It’s hard being locked in the house for months with no end in sight. But you know who it is especially hard for? Essential workers. Kidding! Celebrities. It’s hard for celebrities. Because they’re not used to spending endless amounts of time with their spouse in a 15,000 square foot house close quarters without assistants, nannies, and other peasants as a buffer. And the cracks are showing. In the last few weeks, we’ve already had divorce and breakup announcements from Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler, Mary-Kate Olsen and That Old French Dude, Ashley Benson and Cara Delevigne, and Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green. And I don’t think we’ve seen the end of it yet *cue evil laugh*. So which couples do I predict will also fall victim to the quarantine curse? Read on for the questionable evidence!
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom
I know, I know, they’re having a baby, I’m so mean. And while, yes, quarantine has definitely made me meaner (turns out it was possible!) hear me out. Even before these two announced that a little baby was Blooming (turns out I’m hackier in quarantine, too!) they had their issues. Katy and Orlando broke up in 2017, saying they were taking “respectful, loving space”. Ick. They’re totally the kind of people that say “make love”, aren’t they? Then they got back together, got engaged, and then there were rumblings that they postponed their wedding. And even after they revealed Katy was pregnant, Katy herself told Ryan Seacrest that they tend to fight a lot!
Now, they’re having problems in lockdown. The article claims that Orlando is having trouble controlling his partying, doesn’t like being tied down, and keeps reminiscing about the old days. Orlando. You are 43. Your knees crack everytime you walk down some stairs. If ever there was a time to get tied down, it’s now! And also, where are you partying in this pandemic?
I’ve always felt like these two were on rocky ground, and the fact that Orlando reportedly doesn’t want to settle down pretty much convinces me they’re going to break up. But to be honest, the fact that he’s friends with Leonardo DiCaprio really should have been a red flag that smacked Katy across the face from the start. I’m sorry to say that these two are probably going to announce they’re over soon, but if it’s any consolation, Katy, I thought “Daisies” was a great song.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
It’s no secret I’ve never believed these two were a real couple. Much like Kim’s face, entire body, and personality, I’ve always maintained this relationship was engineered in a lab for maximum attention. And boy, has it worked. But for the purposes of this article, fine, I’ll bite. Kim and Kanye have been together since 2012 and have four kids together, even though I’m pretty sure everybody forgets about Psalm, right? Kimye have had their ups and downs, but now that they’re quarantined together they are arguing a lot. According to US Weekly, Kanye doesn’t help with the kids and is busy “creating”. I’m sure we’ll be blessed with a new $250 pair of spandex bike shorts with holes on the butt cheeks any day now! Now sources are saying Kim wants her space, and is trying to keep her family together for her kids’ sake. This is definitely all true information not fed through a fake source, and I feel really bad for her!
So will they break up? Lol, no. They just don’t want us to forget they exist while we’re all binge watching season two of Dead to Me. Fine, Kim. Here I am, paying attention. Are you happy now?
Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich
I really don’t care about these two, but for some reason the limit does not exist on stories about their rocky relationship. I’m serious. Over the past six months, there have probably been 50 articles about their sex life, their fights, if they’re together, if they’re not together, and MY GOD just give me your diary already Julianne, so I can read it aloud and be done with it. And now, they are reportedly “fighting for their relationship.” Because apparently COVID-19 wasn’t torment enough on its own, we also must be punished with even more say-nothing stories about two D-listers’ relationship. And that’s how I know the world is ending.
Anyway, Julianne and Brooks are not even in quarantine together even though they have “so much love” for one another. Girl, if you can’t even stand to be in the same STATE as him during a global pandemic, and haven’t posted a pic of him on IG in nearly a year, then I think it’s time to call it. No need to shove more stories down my throat fight for the relationship. Once lockdown is over and these two can muster up the strength to briefly put aside the obvious disgust they feel for one another so they can break up in person, it’s over.
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard
This one hurts. I love Kristen Bell. I watched Veronica Mars back when it was on UPN, so you know I’m loyal. And Dax is one of the Bravermans! I all-around love this couple, and I don’t even say that about my own parents. So when I read that Kristen told Katie Couric that she and Dax are “at each other’s throats” and “find each other revolting,” I was devastated. Devastated, but also impressed by how clearly Kristen understands my feelings about every man after they express any interest in me. It really is revolting. But that’s why I’m not married!
While I appreciate the fact that Kristen and Dax are being honest with us, I don’t like that it gives me tummy problems. Don’t we have enough to worry about right now? I’m praying that they keep it together long enough for us to get sprung from the bad place so they can each take a nice, individual spa weekend and regroup.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
Okay, so I have no evidence that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are going to break up. But I had to pick one wild card. I mean, I don’t think anyone had any idea Mary-Kate and That Old French Dude were going to break up, and then BOOM! Papers filed! And if anyone is able to keep their sh*t on lock as well as the Olsen twins, it’s the (former) royals. They would totally do a surprise divorce announcement, so I’m shooting my shot on this one. Plus, I’m giddy just thinking about all the gossip that would come out of it. And even though I don’t actually have any hard evidence, as I said to the judge when I was disputing my speeding ticket, this isn’t a real court so that doesn’t matter.
And that’s not to say it’s not possible. Think about it. Harry and Meghan moved to LA at the very beginning of quarantine. Moving to a new city is hard enough even when you’re not in the middle of a pandemic. And now he can’t even get the goat cheese balls at SUR! How depressing. Plus, there’s the added pressure of a toddler, and the fact that his family is sh*t talking him to all the tabloids in London, and I bet he has to drink a lot of kale smoothies now. Will this all result in a blowout fight that will break up our ginger prince and his American princess? I hope so, if only for the bragging rights.
Those are the celebrity couples that I think are going to bite the dust! I hope that you all are handling quarantine better than they are, and if you don’t hear from me again, my mother most definitely fed me to her dog.
Images: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com; katyperry, kristenanniebell, kimkardashian, juleshough, meghanmarkle_official/Instagram
Okay, on the count of three, say it with me. One, two, three… NOOOOOOOOOOO. We always knew that this extended quarantine period would lead to some celebrity couple breakups, but now they’ve begun, and I’m officially not okay. On Wednesday, E! News reported that Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson have called it quits, and I simply can’t. I could deal with Kristin Cavallari’s divorce, and Aaron Carter’s mess of a relationship, but these two? I really thought they were in it for the long haul.
So far, we’re light on details surrounding Cara and Ashley’s reported split, but E! says that “Cara is enjoying being single and spending time with great friends in quarantine.” From the sound of that, they may have been split up for a while now, but we don’t really know. While Cara and Ashley have been public about their relationship for nearly a year, they’ve never been the kind of couple that constantly posts together. It seems pretty clear that they were together at the beginning of quarantine, but who knows when things went south.
As for which friends Cara is hanging out with right now, that’s also unclear. Early in quarantine, when this still kind of felt like a fun break from real life, Ashley and Cara were hanging out with a famous group including Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, and Tommy Dorfman. They were posting on Instagram, painting each other’s nails, and making TikToks together, but that group dissipated after a few weeks. Whether Cara is still seeing this same group, or she’s around other friends, there’s definitely some sketchy social distancing going on.
Regardless of the details of their reported split, it’s been a good run for Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne. They were first linked publicly nearly two years ago, and were seen hanging out and traveling together throughout the summer of 2018. They kept things casual for their first year together, but they went public last June, in support of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. At that time, Cara told E! that it was approximately their one-year anniversary, so it just felt like the right time. I’m not crying, you’re crying. Since then, they’ve been one of our favorite celeb couples, which is why their split would be such a surprise.
Remember this? I don’t want this to be over!
So for now, we’ll wait for some kind of confirmation about this breakup, but with this kind of thing, where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. 2020 is officially the year of not having nice things, and it’s not getting any better. I don’t know how many more celeb breakups we can handle, but I have a feeling this won’t be the last one we hear about by the time quarantine is over.
Images: ashleybenson / Instagram; Tinseltown, lev radin / Shutterstock.com
