All The Current Celeb Pregnancies You Need To Know About

Am I the only one who feels like every single celebrity is having a baby this year? In the last month alone, Katy Perry, Lea Michele, Hilaria Baldwin, Teyana Taylor, and Katherine Schwarzenegger have all given birth. Just in the last month!! But the 2020 baby train isn’t slowing down anytime soon. In the past several months, there have been many celebrity pregnancy announcements, from A-listers to reality stars, and it’s honestly too much to keep up with. But we can at least try, right? From the ones you’re sick of hearing about, to the ones you’re not sure if you ever heard about in the first place, here are all the celeb pregnancies you need to know about.

Ashlee Simpson Ross

 

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We are pregnant and we are so excited to share it with everyone. Baby #3 ♥ Thank you @clearblue #clearbluepartner #clearblueconfirmed During this unprecedented time, we know pregnant women may be under greater stress which is why we are supporting @marchofdimes Mom and Baby #COVID19 Intervention and Support Fund. Check out their Instagram page to see how they are helping moms and babies get the care they need now and in the future.

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Ashlee Simpson, who is now married to Diana Ross’s son Evan (tbt to Pete Wentz), announced her third pregnancy back at the end of April. You’ll notice that Ashlee’s announcement is part of a trend throughout this list: announcing your baby in partnership with a pregnancy test brand. We thought this was wild last year when Malika Haqq did it, but it turns out she was just ahead of the curve. In a nice twist, Ashlee and Clear Blue also partnered to support COVID relief through the March of Dimes, so this is one case of pregnancy test spon that I can really get behind. Ashlee’s fam is actually super adorable, so stalk her Instagram if you need some cute kids in your life.

Jade Roper Tolbert

 

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HERE WE GROW AGAIN!!! It feels so good to be able to finally talk about this pregnancy! If you noticed I haven’t been on social media much the past couple of months, it’s because I was dealing with terrible nausea and fatigue, on top of taking care of two kiddos during a pandemic. Although this time has its uncertainties, we are so thankful and excited for this baby. I truly believe babies being born during this time are here for a special reason, to be light workers. We are beyond happy to love another baby, to give Emmy and Brooks another sibling and to have our children be so close! #partyof5 #babynumber3

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It’s baby number three for Bachelor In Paradise alums Jade and Tanner! After kicking off this year by winning, and then losing, a million dollars in fantasy football due to ~cheating~, things have taken a positive turn for the Tolberts, with their latest pregnancy announcement coming in May. Jade posted this week that she’s at 29 weeks, so we can expect another fall baby. Whether you closely follow these two or not, they seem to be one of the least messy couples to ever come out of Paradise, so I say cheers to that.

Stassi Schroeder

 

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We’re having a baby girl 💕

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It was a tumultuous start to the summer for Vanderpump Rules OG Stassi Schroeder, who announced her pregnancy just days after being fired from VPR along with three other cast members for past racist behavior. For those who watched the show, the baby news seemed to come out of nowhere, and the timing of the announcement seemed… strategic. But regardless, Stassi’s pregnancy is definitely real, and she updated her followers later in June that the baby is a girl. As for Stassi’s next career move now that Pump Rules is off the table, we still don’t know, but next week, she’ll sit down with Tamron Hall for her first interview since her firing.

Nicki Minaj

 

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#Preggers 💛

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Fans were skeptical last fall when Nicki Minaj announced she was retiring to have a family, but it turns out that was half true. She’s released music since then, and even scored her first two number-one songs, but she is, in fact, starting a family with husband Kenneth Petty. She announced her pregnancy with a typically over-the-top photoshoot in July, complete with yellow and blue wigs, bedazzled bikinis, and heels that I don’t believe anyone could possibly walk in. She hasn’t shared much about her pregnancy since then, but she’s been featured on new songs from A$AP Ferg and Ty Dolla $ign, so she still doesn’t seem too committed to the whole
“retirement” thing.

Morgan Stewart

 

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She may not be great at math but at least we know she’ll be well dressed 🥰

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It’s been a whirlwind summer for Morgan Stewart, who got engaged to Jordan McGraw (Dr. Phil’s son) in July, and announced her pregnancy in August. Honestly, she’s making the most of her time during this pandemic, which begs the question, should I be engaged and having a baby right now? Much to consider. Last summer, people (me) were heartbroken when Morgan announced she and her Rich Kids of Beverly Hills co-star Brendan Fitzpatrick were divorcing, but now she looks happier than ever, so good for her.

Khadijah Haqq McCray

 

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I’m pregnant!!! I couldn’t wait to share that my family is growing and we will soon welcome a new baby in our home. I decided to use @ClearBlue because this has always been the most important result in my life. I love how their digital pregnancy test builds excitement by showing a countdown feature, assuring your answer is coming… And for me it displayed PREGNANT! No time for guessing, I need accuracy. Thank you #ClearBlue for delivering this amazing news to myself, my family and friends! #ClearblueConfirmed #ClearbluePartner

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This summer, Khadijah followed in her twin sister’s footsteps, and announced her pregnancy with a Clear Blue ad—it runs in the family! For Khadijah, this is her third child with husband Bobby McCray, a former NFL player whom she married in 2010. Khadijah flies under the Kardashian radar, but low-key it seems like she has the healthiest relationship of anyone in their circle.

Chrissy Teigen

 

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important

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend already have two of the cutest kids in Hollywood, and they recently announced that they have a third baby on the way. Chrissy did a classic bump reveal in John’s most recent music video, and later officially confirmed the news on social media. Naturally, Chrissy has been having fun with pregnancy content on social media, like when she posted this tabloid headline about herself. We love a queen with a Google Alert set for her name. This week, she shared that her doctor put her on bed rest for two weeks, so hopefully everything is okay, but she said she’s taking this time to learn how to sew costumes for her kids—can’t wait to see how that turns out.

Emma Roberts

 

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Me…and my two favorite guys 💙💙

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Last spring, Emma Roberts began dating Garrett Hedlund shortly after ending her seven-year relationship with Evan Peters, and a little over a year later, she announced that she and Hedlund are expecting their first child. She shared that the baby is a boy with a cheeky Instagram caption, commenting that Garrett and her baby are “my two favorite guys.” To anyone thinking about doing an elaborate gender reveal that may start a wildfire—this is enough.

Bindi Irwin

 

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Reflecting on when we found out that we are going to be parents. ❤️ Discovering that I was going to become a mother will forever be a moment where time stood still. I took a test and ran into the kitchen where Chandler was making us tea. He didn’t hear me come in so I speechlessly watched him pouring the water into my most loved hedgehog mug. This news would change the course of our future in the best way. I started crying tears of pure joy and told my sweetheart husband that my test was positive. We were beaming while our adorable puppy Piggy sat on our feet wondering what was going on. It reminded me of just how perceptive animals are. We sat together with tea talking about the future and how we were going to share such wonderful, life changing news with the people that we love. In that short span of time the gorgeous baby I’m carrying became the most important part of our lives. It is such a blessing knowing that this tiny person has chosen us as parents. Our baby Wildlife Warrior is going to be so very loved by our families and entire Australia Zoo team. I can’t wait to find out what this amazing new soul loves in life, and experience the world all over again through their eyes.

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In case you want to feel old today, Bindi Irwin—yes, the late Crocodile Hunter’s daughter—is now married, and expecting her first child. She’s dedicated her life to carrying on her late father’s legacy, including marrying her husband Chandler in a very intimate ceremony at Australia Zoo at the beginning of the pandemic. Chandler and Bindi both work at the zoo, and their baby will no doubt be wrangling snakes before it can form full sentences.

Lala Kent

It was only a matter of time before the Vanderpump Rules cast started popping out kids, and Lala Kent was the second former SURver of the summer to make a pregnancy announcement. She’s currently engaged to Randall Emmett (who already has two adorable kids), and with their wedding postponed until 2021 due t0 the pandemic, what better time to start a family? They announced the news on their podcast on Lala’s 30th birthday, and this week Randall posted an ultrasound—revealing that Lala is 10 weeks along—on his Instagram story. Cheers to these two, because they’ve certainly come a long way since the days of Lala only referring to Randall enigmatically as “my man”.

Ashley Darby

 

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There’s no hiding this big belly anymore! We are elated to share our news with you! To say we are thankful is an absolute understatement ♥️ #RHOP

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We’ve seen Ashley Darby go through a lot on The Real Housewives of Potomac, and on the current season, she’s struggling with postpartum depression after giving birth to her first baby, Dean. But she’s come a long way since then, and this week, she shared that she and her husband Michael are expecting a second child in early 2021. Looks like her storyline for season six is all set—hopefully she can mostly steer clear of drama with the other ladies and enjoy a smooth pregnancy.

Mandy Moore

 

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Baby Boy Goldsmith coming early 2021 💙

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On September 24th, Mandy Moore announced via Instagram that she and husband Taylor Goldsmith are expecting a baby boy together in early 2021. Mandy and Taylor got married back in 2018, and they’ll both be first-time parents. Considering that we’ve known Mandy Moore for basically forever, it’ll be exciting to see her on the journey of becoming a mom.

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Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; gigihadid, ashleesimpsonross, jadelizroper, stassischroeder, nickiminaj, kelis, morganstewart, foreverkhadijah, chrissyteigen, emmaroberts, bindisueirwin, randallemmettfilms, ashleyboalchdarby / Instagram

UPDATED: Khloé Kardashian Responded To Rumors She’s Pregnant Again With Tristan’s Baby

It’s been an interesting year for celebrity news, but oddly enough, the Kardashians have been pretty quiet so far in 2020. Sure, we saw Kendall hanging out with Jordyn Woods’ ex, and Kylie has been buying enough land to build a cult headquarters (just a theory I have), but all of that barely registers compared to the storylines that Kris Jenner has been cooking up for the past 15 years. But we all know Kris works harder than the devil himself, and this week, rumors spread that Khloé Kardashian is having another baby with Tristan.

Yes, that Tristan. As in, Tristan Thompson, who cheated on Khloé just before she gave birth to their first baby together. And the same Tristan who may or may not have hooked up with Jordyn Woods. After that whole fiasco, Khloé dumped Tristan, and aside from the necessary coparenting relationship, we all assumed things were over between them. But with this family, things are never just that simple.

This week, celebrity news outlet GOSSIPOFTHECITY reported that Khloé is expecting a second child with Tristan, and that she’s been hinting on Instagram that the baby is a girl. Okay, not so fast. While this felt like it could be true, and there was definitely some possible evidence here, this report didn’t actually cite any sources other than what Khloé has posted on Instagram. But even with thin evidence at best, we could still analyze what was in front of us.

Like many of us right now, Khloé has been posting a lot of throwbacks on Instagram. While this could just be a side effect of not being able to go anywhere/do anything during quarantine, it’s also reminiscent of Kylie Jenner’s strategy for hiding her entire pregnancy. Khloé has also posted some more current photos of herself, but they’re all cropped pretty close on her face, eliminating any risk of showing a baby bump. These patterns in her posts aren’t proof of anything, but they would make sense if Khloé is, in fact, pregnant.

 

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Who runs the world…. GIRLS!!!

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In addition to the Khloé’s posts of herself, GOSSIPINTHECITY also pointed to her posting lots of pictures of pink things as evidence that her alleged second child is going to be a girl. Yeah, this is gonna be a “you’re reaching” from me. While these fluffy pink clouds are cute, they’re not like, out of character for Khloé’s vibe on social media. KoKo loves posting random sh*t—remember all those nonsense quotes and inspirational posts on her story after the Tristan and Jordyn scandal? The clouds are cool, but I’m not convinced they actually mean anything.

 

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📸 @kimkardashian

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Aside from any potential Instagram clues, the biggest indicator that this might have been real was what Khloé herself has said on TV. On this season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which was filmed in the fall of 2019, we’ve seen Tristan rebuilding his relationship with Khloé and her family. While it’s nice to see True’s parents on good terms, Khloé has talked about struggling to set boundaries with Tristan. But we’ve also seen Khloé talk about wanting to give True a sibling sooner rather than later, and that she would be open to using Tristan’s sperm to make that happen. Sorry for that, but I’m just repeating what she said.

On the show, we’ve seen this depicted as an idea that could happen at some point in the future, but that was happening six months ago. Whether Khloé and Tristan went the IVF route, or they had a little baby-making rendezvous, they could easily have another baby on the way at this point. There’s been talk of whether Khloé could be pregnant for weeks now, and today, the rumors reached a fever pitch.

UPDATE: But as the speculation spread around the internet on Wednesday, people started getting a little out of hand. On Twitter, many people criticized her for taking Tristan back or deciding to have another child with him, none of which was ever confirmed. Things got so crazy that Khloé felt the need to address the situation on Twitter:

Funny how picky&choosy some can be with who and how you feel others should live their lives. I believe people should focus on their own lives/families, put energy into bettering the scary world we are currently living in, and try projecting positivity as opposed to nastiness.

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) May 13, 2020

The nasty things you’re saying about me over A RUMOR! I have seen so many hurtful/despicable stories and tweets about me over a false story. And if it were true…. it’s MY LIFE, NOT YOURS.

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) May 13, 2020

Funny how picky&choosy some can be with who and how you feel others should live their lives. I believe people should focus on their own lives/families, put energy into bettering the scary world we are currently living in, and try projecting positivity as opposed to nastiness.

— Khloé (@khloekardashian) May 13, 2020

So uhh, those throwback pictures were fun, but I guess they didn’t mean anything? While Khloé doesn’t get into a lot of specifics, it seems pretty safe to say that she’s not pregnant, and she and Tristan aren’t back together as anything more than True’s parents. This all started out as a fun guessing game about her social media posts—and Khloé doesn’t even really seem pissed about the pregnancy rumor—but it was quickly ruined by trolls who took things too far. Khloé can do whatever she wants in her personal life, and if that includes having another baby with Tristan, then why not? Just because we like talking about these people’s lives doesn’t mean we know everything, and ripping into strangers on Twitter is such a waste of time.

Images: Eugene Powers / Shutterstock.com; khloekardashian / Instagram; khloekardashian / Twitter

8 Celebrities Who Became Moms This Year

With most of us still in various states of quarantine, there’s no doubt that Mother’s Day will look a little different this year. Whether you’ve been stuck at your mom’s house for the last two months, or you’re stuck thousands of miles away, it’s going to be weird. But for all the new moms out there, this Mother’s Day will obviously be different, but for positive reasons. I’m not a mother (shocking, I know!), but I imagine that your first Mother’s Day as an actual mother just hits different. It’s like, a whole day about you, so soak it the f*ck up.

Lately, it feels like there’s been celebrity baby news left and right, from pregnancies to bizarre names, and it’s hard to even keep track of who’s expecting. So, to celebrate Mother’s Day, we put together a list of all the celebrity new moms so far in 2020. Congrats, moms!

Ashley Graham

 

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At 6:00PM on 01/18/2020, we welcomed 7lbs 5oz of love into our world. Meeting our son has made our hearts incredibly full and we can’t wait to introduce him to you on @prettybigdealpod tomorrow…

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On January 18th, Ashley Graham gave birth to a baby boy named Isaac, her first child with husband Justin Ervin. Ashley has always been an open book on social media, and her post-pregnancy journey has been no different. She’s gotten real about everything from breastfeeding to stretch marks, and I think we can all appreciate a supermodel who isn’t afraid to drop the Facetune and filters.

Hope Solo

 

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Vittorio Genghis Stevens Lozen Orianna Judith Stevens 3/4/2020

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Hope Solo is an Olympic and world champion on the soccer field, but now she’s on a new journey as a mom. On March 4th, she gave birth to a seriously cute set of twins, her first kids with husband Jeremy Stevens. She went with some unconventional names: Lorenzo Genghis and Lozen Orianna Judith. Genghis just makes me think of Genghis Khan, and I’m already intimidated.

Malika Haqq

 

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Mommy got you Ace. #4weeks

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One of our favorite Kardashian-adjacent celebs, Malika, gave birth to her first baby, Ace Flores, on March 14th. The baby’s father is rapper O.T. Genasis, and this kid is actually one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen. With all the Kardashians as honorary aunts, I’m sure this baby is going to get a lot of amazing gifts, and I can’t say I’m not jealous.

Maren Morris

 

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30 hours of labor ended with an emergency c-section… not what we planned but I learned pretty quickly that night that having a plan for bringing a human into the world is a fool’s errand. All that mattered was that he got here safely. Having him in the middle of a global health crisis was also not in the baby prep books, but here we are. Holding him and healing my body in a maternity ward that’s eerily quiet from us not being allowed visitors or family at this time, but strangely serene. All we hear are monitors beeping and the coos of our infant son. Maybe the sound of the 100th episode of The Office @ryanhurd and I have binged while in here. The admiration we have for the doctors, nurses + healthcare professionals that took care of Hayes & me during our stay cannot be measured in this post. They risked their health every day to make sure ours was okay. I can’t think of anything more selfless than that. Ultimately, I can’t thank every single mother enough for going through what you’ve gone through because I had NO idea how hard it could be, and I’m a measly 4 days in. The world is changing before our eyes and so am I. That’s been a peaceful thing to cling to during these uncertain times. Thinking of you all. 🖤

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Country star Maren Morris gave birth to her first baby boy, Hayes Andrew, on March 23rd. Her first post of her baby was incredibly touching, but I’m more impressed by the fact that Maren performed at the Houston Rodeo in a skintight bedazzled bodysuit just two weeks before giving birth. Like, did she not want to take a nap?? They say mothers can do it all, Maren is proving that. I do literally nothing and can barely go on a walk around the block, so much respect.

Rachel Bloom

 

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#tbt to welcoming my baby to the space jam

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Rachel Bloom, who is low-key one of the funniest people in entertainment, revealed on April 1 that she had given birth to a healthy baby girl. While she hasn’t share many details about her baby, she did post this video on Instagram, in which she’s lip-syncing to “Space Jam” while she’s like… about to give birth. I don’t know what kind of drugs she was on, but I’d like some, thanks.

Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi

 

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WELCOME TO THE WORLD ELIJAH!!! ❤4/27/20❤

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We’ve seen GG grow up a lot over the years on Shahs of Sunset, and after a tough journey, she finally became a mom on April 27th. On the current season of Shahs, GG decided that she wanted to have a baby on her own, but she suffered a devastating miscarriage, followed by surgery to remove her Fallopian tubes. Fortunately, she had better luck the second time around, and her baby boy Elijah is beautiful and healthy.

Chloë Sevigny

 

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Welcome to the world Vanja Sevigny Mačković Born May 2nd New York City Thank you to all the staff at Mt. Sinai East for your bravery, perseverance and kindness, especially the nurses for being so gentle and patient. Blessings to all the other families giving birth during this time. #ilovemyboys 🐣

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On May 2nd, Chloë Sevigny gave birth to a baby girl, Vanja, her first child with boyfriend Sinisa Mačković. In her beautiful Instagram post, she thanked the staff at the hospital, and voiced her support for everyone giving birth during this crazy time. At a time when most of us are trying our best to stay at home, having a baby seems unbelievably stressful, so words like this are exactly what we need.

Grimes

•X, the unknown variable ⚔️
•Æ, my elven spelling of Ai (love &/or Artificial intelligence)
•A-12 = precursor to SR-17 (our favorite aircraft). No weapons, no defenses, just speed. Great in battle, but non-violent 🤍
+
(A=Archangel, my favorite song)
(⚔️🐁 metal rat)

— ꧁ ༒ Gℜiꪔ⃕es ༒꧂ 🍓🐉🎀 小仙女 (@Grimezsz) May 6, 2020

From the moment we knew that Grimes was expecting her first child with Elon Musk, we knew things would get strange. But our expectations were quickly exceeded once their son was born on May 2nd. In a move that pretty much broke the internet, Musk announced that the baby’s name is X Æ A-12, which is just not a name. Turns out, this name might not even be legal in California, but who knows. At least the baby is healthy, and we can deal with the name nonsense later.

The list of celebs expecting babies keeps growing, so there will be lots more new moms by the time 2020 is over… and I’m sure this quarantine time will only make that list longer. Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, and especially those celebrating for the first time!

Images: DFree / Shutterstock.com; ashleygraham, hopesolo, malika, marenmorris, racheldoesstuff, gg_golnesa, chloessevigny / Instagram; grimezsz / Twitter

Aaron Carter Is Going To Be A Dad

Due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, most of our lives aren’t exactly going according to plan right now. Weddings have been postponed, trips have been canceled, and everything is generally on pause for now. Pretty much everything is chaotic at the moment, but somehow, Aaron Carter’s personal life is still the most chaotic of all. On Tuesday, he announced that he and his girlfriend Melanie Martin are expecting their first child together, and reader, I have whiplash.

Aaron Carter and Melanie Martin have only been publicly together for a few months, but their relationship certainly hasn’t been smooth sailing. At the end of March, Melanie was arrested for felony domestic violence, after an alleged incident between her and Aaron. At the time, Aaron leveled many accusations at Melanie, including that she choked him, and broke her dog’s leg.

Between his tweets and her emo Instagram posts after getting released from jail (sadly now deleted), it definitely seemed like they were broken up after the incident. But as of this week, things have taken an abrupt turn. All of a sudden, it looks like Aaron and Melanie are back together, and they’ve got a baby on the way. On Tuesday, Melanie posted a photo of them kissing, with the caption “love wins.” I don’t think that means what she thinks it means, but sure, why not.

 

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💞 love wins #LøVë

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Then, Aaron dropped the baby news in an Instagram Live. After playing some new music (which is actually super catchy) and teasing his upcoming tour, he casually made the big announcement. He flipped the camera around to show a positive pregnancy test, and then said “Obviously I have a baby on the way,” adding “this is the official announcement, we’re pregnant.”

Well, there you have it, Aaron and Melanie are going to be parents. While taking drags on a cigarette, he went on to argue with viewers who said he wouldn’t be a good dad. I won’t make any guesses about Aaron’s future parenting skills, because I certainly wouldn’t be prepared to raise a child right now either, but I do feel like maybe he should read some books before the baby gets here.

2020 predictions: it’s gonna be a great year! lots of success! let’s get this!

2020 reality: Aaron Carter chain smoking on IG Live announcing he’s gonna be a father pic.twitter.com/Q2LdxyvINe

— Betches (@betchesluvthis) April 22, 2020

I’m not sure what I thought 2020 would bring, but I for sure didn’t expect to be watching Aaron Carter suck on a cigarette on Instagram Live, announcing that he’s having a baby with a woman whom he had arrested just three weeks ago. But hey, life comes at you fast, and at least this is one piece of messy celebrity news that has absolutely nothing to do with coronavirus.

Aaron and Melanie haven’t posted any official announcements on their Instagram feeds yet—Melanie is probably still Facetuning hers—but Aaron did reference the news with this mirror selfie from last night, which he captioned “Dad bod.” Lol, see what he did there?

 

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Dad bod

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So for now, it looks like Aaron Carter and Melanie Martin are back together, and they’re probably trying to make things work for the baby, if nothing else. Based on the timing, she was obviously already pregnant before the whole jail situation, but it’s unclear when they found out. Maybe their relationship is on a better track now, but if things go wrong again, hopefully they can just focus on co-parenting.

Interestingly, Aaron has also yet to tweet anything about the pregnancy. He’s usually pretty outspoken on Twitter, but I did notice that it’s been a few weeks since he posted about his OnlyFans page. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m still a little tempted to subscribe. But maybe he and Melanie are more focused on reconnecting with each other right now, instead of posting cryptic tweets and porn videos? A true modern love story.

Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; missmelaniemartin, aaroncarter / Instagram; betchesluvthis / Twitter

Meghan Markle Had Her Baby

After months of waiting, the newest member of the Royal family is finally here. Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, gave birth to a baby boy early this morning, May 6th. While we were all commuting to work this morning, reports spread that Meghan Markle was in labor, but luckily we didn’t have to wait very long. At around 9:30am, they announced the baby’s arrival with a post on the official Sussex Royal Instagram account, and added that the little prince weighs 7 lbs, 3 oz. Actually, they specifically said that “Their Royal Highnesses’ son weighs 7lbs. 3oz.” Nice and pretentious, just the way I like it.

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We are pleased to announce that Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex welcomed their firstborn child in the early morning on May 6th, 2019. Their Royal Highnesses’ son weighs 7lbs. 3oz. The Duchess and baby are both healthy and well, and the couple thank members of the public for their shared excitement and support during this very special time in their lives. More details will be shared in the forthcoming days.

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Unlike Will and Kate’s first baby, Meghan Markle Jr. (what I’m going to call the baby until we find out the name) will probably never be King, but he’s still in the line of succession. He’s seventh in line to the throne, which is significant because there could technically be a black King of England. Amazing. A lot of sh*t would have to go down in order for this to happen, but still, Meghan Markle has really changed the future of the Royal family.

Reports had long suggested that Meghan Markle Jr. would arrive at the very end of April or early May, and things looked even more sure when Prince Harry’s scheduled visit to the Netherlands this week was shortened to a single-day engagement. He will be in The Hague on May 9th to kick off the one-year countdown to the 2020 Invictus Games, a sporting event which is one of his main projects.

The arrival of Meghan Markle Jr. is probably a huge relief for everyone in the royal family, because the past few weeks have been a nightmare, with rumors that Prince William cheated on Kate Middleton. According to sources, these cheating issues are at the root of the reported disputes between Will and Harry, who used to be super close. Hopefully, this new baby will help the family mend some of their issues, or else Queen Elizabeth might have to put Will and Harry in timeout until they can play nice with each other.

Images: Shutterstock; @sussexroyal / Instagram

Kim And Kanye Are Having A Fourth Baby

2018 was a big year for Kardashian babies. Within the first half of the year, Kim, Kylie, and Khloé all had new additions to the family, and so there was plenty of baby drama to go around. But as we all know, the devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder. If you were worried there would be a lack of Kardashian babies in 2019, you can safely put those fears to rest. Multiple sources are confirming that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a fourth child via surrogate, and it’s a boy. We’re less than 36 hours into 2019, and I’m already exhausted.

You probably all remember that, after having her first two kids herself, Kim had a lot of issues with getting pregnant again. That led them to use a surrogate to have their third child, Chicago, who was born last January. They’re using a surrogate once more, and the sources are saying that the baby is due in early May. Thankfully, that gives us plenty of time to mentally prepare for the newest Kardashian-West arrival, because I’m still reeling from when Tristan cheated on Khloé the week before she had her baby.

The sources say that Kim has always wanted four kids, so this is, like, the final addition to her perfect family. That’s nice, but I think there’s another reason. Honestly, Kim probably decided to pull the baby trigger once she heard that Meghan Markle was pregnant, because our American royalty has to keep up with the Brits at all costs. We haven’t gotten any confirmation about Meghan’s due date, but I really hope that both of these babies are born on the same day, so we can see who’s really more famous. Meghan Markle is definitely thirsty for good press, and I would love to see the Palace scramble to get top billing over Kim and Kanye.

In terms of baby names, I’m still working on a full list of ridiculous possibilities, but given that they went with Chicago last time, it would seem very fair to name this child Calabasas. It’s what they deserve!! Congrats to Kim and Kanye, and to all 40 of the other family members that I don’t have the energy to list. This family is never going away!!

Images: Shutterstock; Giphy

Hilary Duff Gave Her Baby A Very Confusing Name

We’ve come so far since the days of Lizzie McGuire, so it’s pretty crazy that Hilary Duff is still only 31 years old. These days, Hilary seems like she’s doing great, and last week she gave birth to her second child! She previously had a son, Luca, in 2012, with her then-husband Mike Comrie. They divorced in 2016, and now Hilary is with musician Matthew Koma. He’s very cute and a little bit edgy, and they seem super happy together. Overall, things seem great in the life of Hilary Duff. Unfortunately, we need to talk about her baby name choice.

Banks Violet Bair.

Banks? Banks?? Is this a name? Honestly, my first thought was Banksy, the famously mysterious graffiti artist. Cool guy, but not what I want to think about when I look at an adorable photo of Hilary Duff and her brand new bundle of joy. There’s also the singer Banks, who is cool—she’s kind of like an edgier Lana Del Rey, I guess—but still, not really the name I would choose for my child. (Also, Bair is Matthew Koma’s real last name, so that’s not like, a weird third middle name, don’t worry.)  But if you ask me, Violet Blair would have been a great name on its own—it sounds like the name of the slightly bitchy popular girl on a CW teen drama who really has feelings deep down—so why prefix it with the plural form of a financial institution?

Anyway, here’s *sighs* Banks.

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Banks Violet Bair❤️ this little bit has fully stolen our hearts! She joined our world at home on Thursday afternoon and is absolute magic ✨

A post shared by Hilary Duff (@hilaryduff) on

Okay, this photo is glorious. Hilary looks radiant and so happy, and that really is a cute baby. A+ for this photographer, because I want to frame this and it’s not even my kid. In the spirit of nice things, I will also say that I really like Violet as a middle name. Violet is getting more and more popular, making a top 50 appearance the last few years after being below 200 just a decade ago. It’s a pretty name, but I always just think of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s daughter, so maybe that’s why Hilary didn’t choose Violet as the first name. Still, I feel like they could have chosen literally anything but a name that sounds like what you’d give to a preppy white guy from Connecticut who’s always threatening to call his lawyers.

In any case, Banks is adorable, Hilary looks happy, and it’s not my life so good for them. Now who knows how I can hire this photographer to take all of my Instagrams?

Images: Shutterstock; @hilaryduff / Instagram

How Messed Up This Year’s Celebrity Babies Will Be Based On Their Names

As we all learned yesterday, Kulture Kiari Cephus has made a grand entrance into the world. And apparently it’s not a rare strain of chlamydia, it’s a baby girl. Welcome to the world, Kulture!  It’s a dumpster fire here, you’ll love it! If we’re being serious, though, this is a fucking heinous name that makes my ears bleed a little more each time I hear it. Soon I fear I will hemorrhage. Kulture is not even a name when you spell it CORRECTLY, Cardi B, and really, taking a page out of the Kardashian naming book? Sad! In other sad news, Kulture is not the only baby this year saddled with a name that will surely drive her to selling her own sex tape to TMZ approximately 18 years from now. So, let’s take a look back at the celebrity babies this year and rank them on how fucked up they will be based on their “names.” Because nothing is more fun than eviscerating innocent children, am I right? Obviously this list will go from “they’ll probably be fine” to “their first DUI arrest will be next week.”

Crew Gaines

TBH Crew is not the stupidest name I’ve ever heard. It just makes no sense with the Gaines naming philosophy, which is basically “all the boys get the same name and all the girls get the same name.” Seriously. Joanna and Chip Gaines’ other boys are named Drake and Duke, and their girls are Ella and Emmie. It’s like they picked one name they liked and when they went to put it on the birth certificate they were told they couldn’t use it again and so they switched some letters. So Crew just comes out of left field. I fear he will be screwed up because he knows he’s different than his siblings. He will grow up feeling like an outcast and will end up being a loser that goes to art school.

Canon Curry

Let’s be real, Canon Curry will be fine. His dad is Steph Curry and he’s the only boy in his family, so I’m sure he’ll be the anointed one. But he’s going to have to deal with that annoying red squiggle on Microsoft Word for the rest of his life since that’s not how you spell Canon, STEPH! Too busy hitting three-pointers to check a dictionary, huh? Odds are that this name will drive poor Canon to insanity, or at the very least, make him a very bad speller. But I also can’t spell at all, and look how far I’ve gotten in life! I get to make fun of babies on the internet!

Marvel Wentz

So I guess Pete Wentz is a big fan of The Avengers? Why couldn’t he have just gone to Target and gotten that Captain America shirt my brother wears every weekend? We wouldn’t doubt your fandom, Pete. Marvel will most certainly not be a Supreme Court justice, but will definitely be a mediocre Red Lobster waitress, quick with a sarcastic comeback and flush with a trust fund. And an “ironic” Thor tattoo on her upper thigh.

True Thompson

True Thompson is going to be the biggest fucking liar this world has ever met. Nothing she says will ever be true, and she will be her father’s daughter. True will burn through men like I burn through a family size bag of Lay’s sour cream and onion chips when I’m on my period. Expect at least five marriages, countless cheating scandals, and at least one shoplifting incident where she swears she just “forgot to pay” for the couture gown shoved in her bag.

Chicago West

Chicago West is a SUPER cute baby. Unfortunately, even that won’t be enough to save her from a life of butt implants, lip fillers, and a superiority complex. Chicago will see herself as the savior to her namesake city. Sadly, while running for mayor, her butt implants will explode, resulting in Chicago being forced to admit none of the Kardashian asses are real. Chicago will bring shame onto the entire family and will be forced to go into hiding and no one will ever see her again. There will be whispers Kris Jenner murdered her, but no claims will ever be substantiated.

Stormi Webster

The year Stormi was born, Stormy was also the name of the most famous porn star. Dare I say it’s prophetic? Moving on…

Ariana Sky Magro

If we’re being real for a minute, we all know that a name is probably only one factor in determining how fucked up a human being becomes, since Ariana is definitely the best celebrity baby name to come out of 2018. Know what’s a bigger factor in determining your future issues? If your mom allegedly dragged your father with a car while you sat in the back seat sucking your thumb. Or, say, if your father said he couldn’t turn your mother from a hoe into a housewife. Ariana Sky, our hopes for you do not reach the sky, they barely reach past the New Jersey state line. By the time she is a teenager, she will be a hybrid of the two grossest humans that ever existed and will have powers so evil and heinous she will destroy the world. May God have mercy on our souls.

Best of luck to these babies! I hope their lives don’t turn out how I’ve predicted, but I fear they will. And to all the parents out there, just remember—it’s never too late to legally change your baby’s name to Emily.

Images: Giphy (3)