The internet continues to collectively lose its sh*t over Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale and their 20-year age gap. They’ve been mum about their relationship status—our only non-paparazzi confirmation is Beckinsale coyly clapping back via Instagram comments. So, like, how the hell did this happen?

I’ll admit it: I’m charmed by Scorpio and SNL regular Pete Davidson—Ariana Grande’s infamous tweet confirming his BDE might have something to do with it. If BDE (“Big Dick Energy” for those of you living on a limited data plan in your mom’s basement) isn’t one of the first things you think when you hear Scorpio, you’re either lying or you’ve been jaded by one.

Let’s recover our jaws from the floor and ask the actual hard-hitting questions (because what kind of astrologer would I be otherwise?): Will it last? Is she a rebound? Are their birth charts actually compatible—or is BDE all to blame?

 

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Hello, Sexual Tension

Astrologically speaking, there’s blatant tension with this pair. Kate’s a Leo, the zodiac’s over-the-top attention-seeker and a fire sign, and Pete’s a Scorpio, a more silent, brooding, mysterious water sign. Leos and Scorpios are both known for being stubborn af—not exactly what you’d call a match made in heaven. Take J.Lo and Diddy for example—the ultimate Leo-Scorpio mash-up, and a totally sexy flop.

The Leo-Scorpio couple oozes sex—they’re passionate and fiery. After the first one-night stand—er, first date—the sexual tension is palpable. It’s easier to bang away our differences than talk about them, right? And while this makes for serious foreplay initially, turns out that’s not what sustains relationships. (Contrary to popular f*ckboy belief. But, I digress.)

So while it’s fair to say Pete and Kate are enjoying some raunchy Cruel Intentions-level sexcapades right now, over time the glaring differences in their personality could be a source of conflict. But when comparing their birth charts, the screenshot of where all the planets were in the sky at the exact moment you were born, it’s easy to see what led the pair to give it a go beyond the BDE.

There are serious healing contacts between some of the planets in their birth charts that could cause each of them to feel that their meeting is fated. One in particular has to do with an ancient asteroid, Chiron, that represents our deepest wounds that we carry with us through our lives. Interesting things can happen when Chiron intersects with certain planets, namely Venus—the planet that rules our style of love. (Basically Venus is that Love Language book that every sorority girl was obsessed with in 2010.)

Pete’s Chiron coincidentally links up directly with Kate’s Venus. The connection between these two personal points reveals a massive potential for healing love-related wounds, and unparalleled common ground for understanding each other’s expression of love and past hurt. Yes, you guessed it: this is the perfect rebound aspect. They feel drawn toward one another and recognize a potential healing connection.

Thank U, What’s Next?

While the duo is likely basking in a period of seriously hot sex, with a dash of mind-blowing emotional intimacy, we’re all wondering how long this is going to last. Keep your eyes on the tabloids around February 19, when there’s a full moon in Virgo. Kate happens to have her love planet in the sign of Virgo. The full moon is going to be lit af for her love life.

Don’t care about the Kate Beckinsale/Pete Davidson relationship publicity stunt.

IS HIS SHIRT WHITE OR BLUE??

This is the new Yanny vs. Laurel and the blue/black vs white and gold dress pic.twitter.com/VIi2VVz9KU

— AL (@MissSchliez) February 2, 2019

If anyone can tame and charm a Scorpio, it’s the queen of the Underworld franchise herself. But remember, full moons bring about completed cycles, sudden change, and, often, endings. It’s a make-it-or-break-it milestone. The pair will either make it more official, or they’ll split. Regardless, both will have a life-altering, sensitive point in their charts activated. And for that, they’ll be so thankful.

Images: Shutterstock; misschliez / Twitter; sluttypuffin, the_nri_times / Instagram

I hear wedding bells, betches. Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger are engaged, and well, you’d think Chris would have waited until the ink dried on his divorce papers, but I guess celebrities are not just like us. (I’m kidding! Even Chris’ ex-wife is thrilled about his impending nuptials, which is totally normal and not at all a façade for the media.) Anywho, according to the Daily Mail, the couple decided to tie the knot after just seven months of dating. And I can’t even get guys to admit we’re together after seven months of dating. Cool.

This, of course, leaves me no choice but to analyze Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger’s astrological compatibility before they walk down the aisle. BTW, have I mentioned Christopher is 10 years older than his fiancée? (I am such a fan of this age gap!) Anyway, when I first looked at their compatibility, the first thing I thought was, holy sh*t balls! The sexual chemistry between these two is EVERYTHING, and I’ll tell you why.

Katherine Schwarzenegger

For starters, don’t let Schwarzenegger’s salt-of-the-earth vibes fool you. Dare I say, the 29-year-old author is an undercover sex kitten, and a force to be reckoned with. Born with the sun in adventurous Sagittarius, Schwarzenegger is spontaneous, freedom-loving, and a lover of the unknown. To top it off, she was born with Mars (sex drive), Pluto (power), and Lilith (our shadow side) in Scorpio. *Insert shocked emoji here.* FYI: The energy of Scorpio is intensely passionate, deeply emotional, and TOTALLY vengeful—kind of like all your Scorpio friends.

Femme Fatale much? The bride-to-be is a highly passionate woman with a smoldering intensity. On another note, however, her gracious ruling planet Jupiter (luck and expansion) was sitting directly over her moon in sensitive Cancer (emotions and sense of nurture) at her time of birth. I know, WTF does this even mean? Well, for starters, our girl is emotional AF, eerily intuitive, and a true Mommy’s girl. Funny enough, a source told PEOPLE that Maria Shriver (Schwarzenegger’s mother) helped set her up with Pratt. Kudos to Mom.

Chris Pratt

The Guardians of the Galaxy actor was born with his sun (ego) and Venus (seduction style and type of woman he’s attracted to) in the curious sign Gemini, which also happens to be Sagittarius’ complete opposite. However, this is actually a good thing, as both of these zodiac signs complement each other, and work via the same astrological axis. (Chances are, he fusses over the meticulous details, and she focuses on the bigger picture.) Pratt’s sun and Venus are hovering over his eighth house of sex and regeneration, which means transformation is a prominent theme in his life, both personally and in regards to his relationships.

The 39-year-old actor also has a Moon-Mars conjunction in Taurus (which means the moon and Mars were sitting VERY close at his time of birth) in his seventh house of relationships and acquaintances, which tells me he can be ridiculously stubborn, and confrontational when crossed. Put it this way: the moon represents his emotions, and Mars ignites the fire. Meaning, his emotions can be explosive, and fuel rather easily. On a brighter note, Pratt’s sensuality is strong, and he thrives when he can indulge in the pleasures of life alongside his SO.

Are They Compatible?

Now, astrology is infinite, and there’s a whole other level to each of their birth charts. However, one thing’s for sure, and it’s that these two are INTENSE AF, so you can already imagine what happens when you combine both energies, considering that their personalities are innately polarizing and ruthlessly set in their ways. It’s my way or the highway for Pratt and Schwarzenegger, and I highly doubt either of them would ever compromise. (That’s not a good thing.)

Furthermore, and say what you will, but it’s safe to say Pratt is completely infatuated with his bride-to-be. While this is something you typically expect in a serious relationship, there’s a dark side to it as well.

For instance, Schwarzenegger’s Mars (sex drive), Pluto (power), and Lilith (taboo side) are sitting right over Pratt’s Ascendant (sense of self) and Uranus (inner rebel) in smoldering Scorpio. In astrology, Mars ignites the fire, and it’s also Scorpio’s traditional planetary ruler, which means this energy is working at its FULL potential. Meaning, it’s red, hot, and horny AF.

This could bring intense passion, but it could also consist of ego trips and dark manipulation tactics. Also, and not to keep making this about sex (it’s all Christopher’s fault), but Schwarzenegger’s energy sort of sparked a sexual revolution for Pratt, liberating him in an extreme and profound way.

Sadly, we don’t have Schwarzenegger’s time of birth, so I couldn’t tell you their astrological synastry more in-depth. However, I think by now you have a better idea of their vibe as a couple. It’s Fifty Shades of Pratt, all day.

Images: Giphy (3)

Am I the only one who can’t seem to process the fact that Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are in fact husband and wife? Is this some sort of sick joke? OK, cat’s out of the bag, betches. I am obviously a ride-or-die Jelena fan, and well, some of us are still hoping this wedding falls under the fake news of 2018 bucket. (I can’t be alone here.) However, from the looks of it, the Bieber-Baldwin newlywed PDA is just as real as it is obnoxious. OK, I’m done being a Debbie Downer. Let’s cut to the chase, and talk about the astro compatibility of these two love birds, because believe it or not, it’s a vibe.

For starters, let’s get one thing straight, and it’s that we can’t judge a book by its cover. As you know, Justin Bieber was born under the dreamy sign of Pisces, and Hailey Baldwin has her sun in the sign of the adventurous archer. Right off the bat, we know that these signs aren’t compatible, considering water (Pisces) and fire (Sagittarius) don’t typically mesh well by nature. That’s not all we should be taking into consideration, but sadly, we don’t have Baldwin’s time of birth. (Not to worry, betches. We’ve got Bieber’s birth time on deck, as per astrotheme, and I’ll get into that in a minute.)

Jupiter’s Children

In the meantime, let’s go over the basics. Pisces and Sagittarius are both mutable signs, which means Bieber and Baldwin do in fact have some similarities, in the sense that they’re both adaptable, changeable, and prefer going with the flow. However, keep in mind, looking to see if two sun signs are compatible is merely scratching the surface. Nevertheless, the newlyweds are both ruled by expansive Jupiter, and this caught my attention from the very beginning. Lucky Jupiter rules Sagittarius, and it’s also Pisces’ traditional ruler in astrology.

Since we don’t have Baldwin’s birth time, I have to point out that the 22-year-old model was born on the very first day (and degree) of Sagittarius. TBH, she very well might have been born on the last degree of Scorpio, considering the sun changed signs on her birthday. Either way, she’s still a Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp, and FYI the Biebs has a sh*t ton of Scorpionic influence in his chart. Although, going back to these two being children of oh-so-gracious Jupiter, there’s really nothing this celebrity couple wouldn’t do together. Their contagious optimism is constantly flowing, and their larger-than-life personalities clearly thrive off the PDA.

The Dark Side Of The Biebs

Word. Now let’s talk about the Biebs for a second, because this Pisces is a lot more complex than you think. For starters, he was born with a smoldering Scorpio rising, AKA ascendant, conjunct his Pluto and North Node in Scorpio. Holy sh*t and a half. Intense is an understatement, betch. FYI: Pluto rules Scorpio, so having this sexy Voldemort planet sitting directly over his Ascendant, only magnifies its power. There’s more. His Pluto is also sitting alongside his North Node, which represents his “spiritual path,” in this lifetime. One thing’s for sure: themes related to power, transformation, sexuality, sacrifice, karma, and universal compassion are prominent themes in Justin Bieber’s life.

The Biebs has definitely gone through some intense rebirths, and TBH, marrying Hailey Baldwin still feels like a Scorpio rising fixation (or perhaps revenge?), but again, that’s just the vibe I get. On another note, Bieber most definitely benefits from Hailey’s Sagittarius-like qualities, considering Pisces’ energy naturally struggles with taking initiative, and getting things done. In other words, Baldwin’s fiery energy most definitely compliments Bieber’s ambiguous waters. Also, as per astrotheme, Hailey’s sun conjuncts her Pluto in Sagittarius, which means she, too, has an air of Plutonian mystery to her, which obviously drives Bieber wild.

Besides, who are we kidding? Hailey Baldwin is hot AF.

Pisces Sun Vs. Virgo Mars

Bieber’s sun in Pisces is directly opposed Baldwin’s Mars in Virgo, which can definitely cause some friction in the relationship. The sun is proud and Mars asserts itself; meanwhile, both of these planets are at odds. Now, this could also ignite a surge of passion, but those red-hot feels could also spark disagreements within the relationship.

Moreover, these two have something extra cosmic, in regards to their compatibility, and it’s called a Moon-Venus conjunction. Baldwin has her Venus in its home sign Libra, and the Biebs has his moon in the same sign. FYI: Venus thrives in the sign of Libra, as it is its sign of rulership, and the planet of love, beauty, and relationships. The moon, however, represents our emotions and sense of nurture, so can you imagine the deliciousness of Moon-Venus in Libra? TBH, I dare to say that this aspect is what ultimately sealed the deal. Aside from their Jupiterian love story, of course. Thanks to this, these two have no issue showing affection towards one another, let alone connecting on an emotional level.

Are Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin compatible?

You could be the judge of that.

Images: Giphy (3)