Let’s be real: no one really wants to get older. I know everyone always talks about how age is nothing but a number, but I roll my eyes at sh*t like that. Sure, it’s just a number, but it’s a number that is inching closer to death. Sorry, but you were thinking it! But while most of us are stress-ordering face masks or wondering when Botox will be declared an essential service, apparently Vera Wang has figured out some magical anti-aging secret, and I need to know which devil she’s made a deal with.
Here’s a photo that Vera posted last week, in honor of what would have been Met Gala Monday:
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Wow, those legs!! As I was admiring the outfit and face mask combo, I was in no way prepared to find out that Vera Wang, the woman in that photo from six days ago, is 70 YEARS OLD. SEVENTY. SEVEN-ZERO. I mean… how?! She would look great for 50! She looks better than me at 25! But someone pointed out Vera’s age on Twitter, the post quickly went viral.
THIS BITCH VERA WANG IS 70?!?! pic.twitter.com/RXkKAPS4eG
— bob loblaw. (@WihongiSantos) May 6, 2020
Someone also pointed out that Vera Wang was born in 1949, which I know is just math, but it sounds even crazier. Like, that’s four years after World War II ended. Truman was President when Vera Wang was born. By the time we put a man on the moon, she was already in college. I’ve definitely known who Vera Wang is for most of my life, but I still would have guessed she was like, 55? Maybe? It doesn’t make sense, and honestly, my day will be spent trying to digest this information.
But despite my brain being fully broken, Vera Wang herself confirmed the information on Twitter.
Fact Check: Truth https://t.co/pN37eSfeqc
— Vera Wang (@VeraWang) May 7, 2020
The only thing making me feel better about this is that everyone else is just as shocked. The original tweet about Vera being 70 has over 250,000 likes, and Vera’s confirmation is at nearly half a million. And outlets like Women’s Health, Page Six, and People have all published their own takes on how shocking Vera Wang’s age is. Apparently no one realized until now, which is funny, considering her 70th birthday was actually last June. So she’s almost 71! Where the hell have we all been?
So what makes Vera Wang so special? Lots of famous people look great for their age, but this example is one notch further. There’s a big difference between Reese Witherspoon being wrinkle-free at 44, and someone my grandma’s age looking better than I ever have. Clearly, we need Vera Wang to drop the skincare/workout/life routine ASAP, because I’ll be lucky if I look like this at 30.
Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com; verawang / Instagram; wihongisantos, verawang / Twitter
In 2019, it seems like the viral social media trends are moving faster than ever. Like, I barely even remember that Area 51 exists anymore, and I literally wrote an article about it two days ago. This makes me feel old, but not nearly as old as the FaceApp old filter makes me look. If you’ve been on Instagram or Twitter in the last week, you’ve probably seen lots of your friends making themselves look like senior citizens, and it’s weirdly satisfying.
FaceApp has been around for a couple years, but for whatever reason, the app’s filter that makes you look like an old person has recently gone extremely viral. Lots of our favorite celebrities have posted photos of themselves looking old, which is kind of hilarious because none of these people are going to age naturally. Unsurprisingly, not too many famous women have posted photos of themselves with the FaceApp old filter, because God forbid a woman in Hollywood post a wrinkly photo and someone thinks it’s real. Most of these people don’t age at all, but it’s fun to pretend. Here are some of the best celeb FaceApp photos that I can’t stop thinking about.
The Jonas Brothers
When you take a trip to the Year 3000. pic.twitter.com/O9Dxpwj6ex
— Jonas Brothers (@jonasbrothers) July 16, 2019
I mean, this is a masterpiece. This is definitely one of the most realistic FaceApp images I’ve seen, and the sweaters just make it more believable that all of these men are grandpas. Nick could definitely still get it, but I’m undecided about Joe. He looks like he’s been through some sh*t, but then again, I usually love a man with baggage. Kevin definitely can’t get it even without the old filter, sorry not sorry.
Sam Smith fully just looks like gay Santa, and I can’t handle it. The white beard is really sending me over the edge, and the giant sparkly heart earring is such a jarring contrast. I love Sam Smith, but this picture is definitely cursed.
Tyrese & Ludacris
This is a contender for the best use of FaceApp for sure. I’m positive that neither of these men would look this old even if they were 100, but it’s fun to pretend. Also, the caption is f*cking hilarious, so I really feel like we don’t talk about Ludacris enough. I’m not a huge Fast & Furious fan, but I would watch a version with these old dudes.
Who are we kidding, I’m white.
We age like milk, this is me at 50.
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) July 13, 2019
Iggy Azalea wins the award for best response to a FaceApp, hands down. We love a celeb who isn’t afraid to drag herself, and Iggy quickly clarified that she’s not going to look this good when she’s 80. Even if you don’t love her, at least she’s being realistic.
Lil Nas X
Lil Nas X looks like a grandpa who just woke up and is angry about some noise happening outside his window. With all his “Old Town Road” money, Lil Nas will definitely not have to age like this if he doesn’t want to. Botox works wonders!
Old faced Kevin Hart just jumped through my computer screen and yelled at me to get off his lawn. Honestly, Kevin Hart kind of scares me at his actual age, so this photo isn’t doing good things for my anxiety. Thank u, next.
Joanna Gaines is one of the few female celebs to embrace the old app trend, and she actually posted a few photos with the filter on her story. She actually looks great and natural with the filter, and I feel like I have a few friends whose moms look exactly like this. There’s nothing wrong with aging!
Honestly, I’m not even convinced that Drake used the FaceApp filter, because the only real difference is that he has some grey highlights in his beard. To be fair, this is probably pretty much how he’ll age in real life, which is just unfair. He could still get it tho.
Carrie Underwood and her husband Mike Fisher are v hot in real life, so it makes sense that they will also be hot grandparents. Again, Carrie Underwood will never in a million years have this many wrinkles, but even if she did, I would still be obsessed with her.
In today’s surprising news, James Marsden with the FaceApp old filter just looks like current Robert Redford, and I’m into it. James Marsden is one of my biggest celebrity crushes, and he could definitely still get it at whatever age this is supposed to be. I’ve already planned out my entire future with this man, so I should really quit while I’m behind.
I love this, because Gordon Ramsay will definitely still be yelling at people about their undercooked Beef Wellington when he’s 100 years old. Hopefully he’ll still be making new seasons of MasterChef Junior too, because what else am I supposed to watch when I’m hungover?
Who posted your favorite FaceApp old filter photo? Are you too scared to try it on yourself? LMK.
Images: jonasbrothers, iggyazalea / Twitter; samsmith, Ludacris, lilnasx, kevinhart4real, joannagaines, champagnepapi, carrieunderwood, james_marsden, gordongram / Instagram