HGTV shows are basically interchangeable unless they feature hot twins or the hosts go through a highly-publicized separation that wouldn’t be out of place on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Today, I bring you news about the latter. Despite (or possibly because of) Tarek and Christina El Moussa’s scandalous split last year, Flip or Flop is set to film new episodes, and I, for one, am all about it. Watching exes interact after a divorce IRL is depressing. Watching them film a TV show while awkwardly dancing around the subject of their hella dramatic separation is entertainment.
If you forgot all the shit that went down in the El Moussa household last year, allow me to remind you. Back in May, Tarek booked it out of the couple’s Orange County house with a gun to wander the trails of a nearby state park for a few hours, like a totally rational and normal person. Meanwhile, Christina followed him into the yard crying, then called the police. Eventually, Tarek returned and claimed he took the gun to ward off mountain lions. Since police found five MORE guns in the house while they were waiting, this is clearly a man with a deep and abiding fear of wildcats.
Anyway, the couple separated not long afterward, and six months later, everyone found out when Tarek filed for divorce from Christina. A bajillion rumors began swirling around immediately, mostly claiming that Tarek was spying on Christina and Christina was having an affair with some older, grizzled contractor named Gary. It turns out she actually was dating that guy, but not until after Tarek moved out, so it wasn’t an entirely shitty move—but I gotta say, that’s a step down for someone as hot and rich as Christina. On the other hand, Tarek’s rebound wasn’t any better—he apparently had a fling with their 23-year-old nanny. So… healthy choices all around.
Everyone was worried about the fate of Flip or Flop after all this came out, natch, but it turns out we didn’t need to be. On Tuesday, Tarek posted on Instagram that the show is being renewed for 20 episodes “regardless of the circumstances.” Way to play it cool, bro.
So next time you’re nursing a hangover, you might actually catch some new Flip or Flop episodes between naps. Pro tip: Turn it into a game where you take a shot every time the schadenfreude becomes too much. You’ll be so wasted by the end your hangover won’t matter anymore.
Close your eyes and think back with us to early 2015. It was a gentler time in the world. Crop tops weren’t played out. We thought Jeb(!) Bush might be the next President. And Taylor Swift still seemed like kind of a cool person (emphasis on the kind of.) Then one of our fav couples, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, announced they were divorcing and we were all like, “There’s nothing that could be worse than this. Not even Donald Trump being president, which would never happen anyway. Now please excuse my while I enroll in Obamacare.”
If, for some reason, you don’t already have every detail of the Ben Affleck-Jennifer Garner relationship memorized, here’s a refesher: Jen and Ben got together in 2004. They were both fresh out of long-term relationships. Jen had broken things off with the dude who plays Jake Ballard on Scandal, and Ben had ended a v high-profile engagement with J Lo, probably after discovering that she was going to use the giant engagement ring he bought her as the cornerstone of a spell to stay young forever. Which totally worked, BTW. While immediately trading one Jennifer for another is kind of a shady move, they were a great couple together. It seemed like happily ever after, with three beautiful children and a fairly low-key life. Kind of boring, but aren’t all healthy relationships? Sadly, in 2015, everything fell apart. The divorce went public, and before long Ben was fucking nannies on TMZ.
Only thing is, it never really seemed that over. Any betch whose ever been in an on-again-off-again thing could spot all the telltale signs of not really being broken up. First off, they never stopped spending time together, always saying that they were doing what was” best for the kids.” Because living in a big-ass house and going on lavish vacations with someone who you publicly claim you’re not into anymore is a totally standard environement for children. #RichPeopleThings.
Now reports are surfacing that the divorce has been called off, and that Bennifer 2.0 are trying to work through their issues. Honestly, we’re just exhausted at this point. Like, I already spent the last year and a half going over on data trying to get my sister and her ex to admit they’re still together. I can’t go through that all over again with celebs. And while we obviously hope for their sake they can work things out, how does it take two years to get to this point? Hollywood divorces usually take a long time, but really? Whatever happens, Jennifer definitely won’t let Ben get anywhere near a hot nanny this time. That’s for fucking sure.
So, what do we think? In a world of celebrity divorces, will this one just be a false alarm? Maybe, maybe not. But if Beyoncé and Jay Z made it through whatever she was singing about on Lemonade, Ben and Jen should be fine.
