It’s official: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby girl. Kim confirmed the news on Ellen, announcing that her surrogate is officially pregnant with a mini-Kim, and we are all appropriately freaking the fuck out. Kim also told Ellen that they have not yet decided on a name, and that North has been calling her “Baby Sister” until they get their shit together and name the baby. So obviously, as we did with Khloé before her, it is time to
wildly and irresponsibly speculate make an educated guess about what the latest Kardashian-West child will be called. Given the fact that their last two releases (yes, I consider the Kardashian-West children “releases”) were such a huge success in that they’re two of the most gorgeous children the world has ever seen, we have high hopes for Baby #3.
Guess #1: South West
Given that this child will be sister to North, Kimye could decide to stay on theme by giving her a name to match her sister’s. I feel like this isn’t too likely considering how much a 180 the name “Saint” was, but what’s a bigger 180 from going off theme with baby #2 than to turn around and go back on theme for baby #3? Think about it…
Guess #2: Baby Sister West
I mean, they’re already calling her Baby Sister, so why not make it official? Considering all the other children have one-word names, this would set Baby Sister apart, plus this name is the exact level of nonsense on which Kim and Kanye operate on a daily basis. BSKW also would look great on a shirt, for when she inevitably becomes a fashion designer and slaps her initials on everything.
Guess #3: Nun West, Virgin Mary West, Mother West, Holy West
There’s no reason Kimye couldn’t decide to stick with the religious theme for Baby #3, naming her after some sort of Catholic-y thing that isn’t one of the 200 extremely Catholic and normal names that are already in circulation. Personally, I think Mother West is a very—for lack of a better term—epic name for a baby and would probably guarantee that she be born a fully developed 40-year-old drag queen who sings in a gospel choir.
Guess #4: Whatever Kanye’s Next Album Is About
I mean, think about it. The Kardashians dropped Saint on December 5, 2015. Then, Kanye drops The Life of Pablo, which includes a song called “Saint Pablo,” just a couple months later in February of 2016. Was “Saint Pablo” a nod to his new baby, or was Saint West a precursor to Kanye’s new single? There’s no way to know. But I bet we see Baby #3’s name somewhere on Kanye’s next album, which I’m sure will come out at some point soon now that Taylor’s is out of the way.
Guess #5: Kimberly
Leave it to Kim Kardashian to pull a Lorelai Gilmore and name her baby after herself. I mean, as Lorelai correctly told us, men do it all the time, so why not Kim? The only question here is if the world could handle two Kim Kardashian Wests existing at the same time, which I’m low-key not sure it could.