Everything We Know About The 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Well, friends, since Halloween is basically tomorrow in three weeks, we honestly can’t deny the fact that hibernation month will soon be upon us. I’m talking about November, obviously. It’s a time when it really begins to feel like fall—not this humid, muggy, 80 degree sh*t—so we can bury ourselves in chunky sweaters and comfy leggings, sweat-free. It’s also that time of year when we shamelessly eat our weight in food because like, Thanksgiving, and well, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. *Stares at the Ben & Jerry carton in my freezer.* Both of these events make me want to consume enough calories to feed a small town, but the VSFS is one that I really look forward to for other reasons, tbh. I just can’t resist the insane angel wings, bejeweled lingerie, and seeing my fave supermodels all in one place. We’ve still got ways to go, but this year’s show is already one of the most discussed, highly anticipated ones yet. Let’s begin, shall we? Here is everything we know about the 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Where Will It Be Held?

For starters, it will be held in New York City again, guys. FINALLY. After two whole long years, the show is coming back to America, but a specific venue hasn’t been announced, though.

 

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#VSFashionShow2018 back in NYC ???? Can’t wait! @victoriassecret

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Who’s Set To Perform This Year?

Tbh, this has yet to be confirmed. I’ve done extensive sleuthing and honestly, I couldn’t find any talk about predictions. However, if any of the previous years are an indication of how it’ll go, expect him/her/they will be a big deal.

Which Models Are Walking And Which Aren’t?

I’m just going to start off by saying Kendall, Bella, and Gigi have neither confirmed or denied whether or not they’ll be walking in the 2018 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. It’s still totally up in the air, despite them all being familiar faces. On the bright side, there will be a ton more familiar faces and even some new ones. Those walking include Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel, Jasmine Tookes, Behati Prinsloo, Barbara Palvin, Winnie Harlow, and like, a dozen more. Those we probs won’t be seeing at the moment are Lily Aldridge (she’s pregnant, so fine) and Alessandra Ambrosio (retired last year and they made a huge deal about it—GOD, do you even go here??).

 

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I had a break down before i walked into the most nerve wrecking casting of my life. I asked my driver to go around the block twice before i could walk into the @VictoriasSecret offices so i could re coup, and remember (while my trainer @bodybymato reminded me on the phone through sobs – thank you lol) how hard I’ve been working! I went in and made new friends and saw old friends and it already felt like home! We patiently waited while @ed_razek @johndavidpfeiffer @monica.mitro @10magazine carefully took time to get to know each girl. When it was finally my time, within my nervous storm of anticipation i changed into a black Victoria Secret set and stepped out!!!! I spoke to them about Jamaica, @nick_knight , my abs, and how i was beyond honoured to be given the opportunity to try out.. then I walked for my life!!!! I can’t believe this!! Thank you for giving me all the energy and kindness in that room! Thank you for allowing me to walk for VICTORIA’S SECRET! Thank you to my agencies @firstaccessent @womenmanagementnyc @women_paris @thesquadmanagement my pr @remibrb my agent @mannyuk and mama bears #sarahstennett & @thelilmisse for having my back supporting and believing in me! I love you guys you’re FAMILY!! Thank you mommy for praying with me everyday for the past 3 days. And thank you so much to my fans who have been pushing me forward to this point in my career. I’m so blessed thank you Lord!! IM WALKING THE VICTORIA’S SECRET SHOW! Thank you Vogue for the exclusive interview ????????????????????

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Will There Be A Designer Collaboration?

Yaaas, betch. Like last year’s Balmain capsule collaboration, the lingerie house will officially be collaborating with Mary Katrantzou for 2018. Not much is known about the collection, but the pieces will apparently be able to be worn as both undergarments and clothing. They’re expected to be full of bold, lively colors and patterns probably a lot like this one. Either way, can’t freakin’ wait.

 

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MK ????’s VS too @victoriassecret #VSxMaryKatrantzou 2018 #VSFashionShow #marykatrantzou

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When Exactly Is The Fashion Show Expected To Premiere?

*Sigh.* No date or time has been announced yet, but definitely plan on keeping your calendars open from late November to early December to stick with when shows have run in the past.

Photo: Kris Atomic / Unsplash; Instagram

The Official Ranking Of The Victoria’s Secret Angels

Head Pro will watch the VS Fashion Show this year, just like every year, because he’s a sucker. Follow him as he makes mean jokes on Twitter at @betchesheadpro, and tell him how badly this list sucked at [email protected].

Perhaps more than anything, humans enjoy order. That’s why, as surely as winter brings 2pm sunsets and misery, it also brings the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: an institution that endures largely unchanged, persisting by only making slightly fewer alterations than Kim Kardashian’s plastic surgeon. The models starve themselves. A safe, bland pop act performs. One of the models has an OMG SO CUTE “improvised” interaction with the musical act if she’s fucking him. Someone stuffs their cans into a $2 million bra. The sun rises on another day.

But that’s not enough! No, we demand even more order, especially when it comes to judging our fellow humans. That’s why, beyond running the same hour-long porno flick for women (that’s also porn for men), we’re compelled to “rank” the models involved. “But Head Pro, didn’t you do this last year?” you might be wondering. “Wait, that link just redirects to this page, this is the same URL, this is all a naked SEO grab, isn’t it,” a reasonable person might conclude. I don’t have answers for that. I definitely voluntarily re-wrote my own list. I’m a Company Man, after all.

It’s not especially cool to “rank” human women based on their “hotness” or “how nice their boobs look.” I would never do that anyway because I respect women so much that you wouldn’t have to ask me if I respect women, because I would come out and tell you I respect women before you even asked. Instead, I will rank them based on their biography responses on the VS website, from least amusing to most.

14. Jasmine Tookes

Victoria’s Secret asked all of the Angels what spice they would be, and 90% of them said “cinnamon.” That includes Jasmine, who had literally nothing interesting to say. Being pretty but boring is a shitty stereotype, but living up to it gets you on the bottom of the list.

Jasmine Tookes

13. Stella Maxwell

Most people pretty clearly identify as a morning or night person, but Stella? Oh, she’s a midday person. Her profile is full of contrarian bullshit like that. Righty or lefty? “I’m actually ambidextrous.” Pink or red? “I prefer blue, but I guess red if I have to choose.” Unlike Jasmine, who is boring, Stella tries WAY too hard to seem cool and different.

Stella Maxwell

12. Lily Aldridge

Literally every model loves shooting in beautiful locations, but they all hate flying on planes. But really, that’s the LEAST glamorous part of the job, not starving yourself or strutting around in your underwear in front of leering strangers? Get some fucking perspective, Lily.

Lily Aldridge

11. Josephine Skriver

Josephine can’t live without her phone, friends, family, sleep and food. Well, yeah. You’ll die after not eating for about 30 days, and a lot sooner without sleep. Jeez, why do you always have to take things so literally, Josephine?

Josephine Skriver

10. Taylor Hill

Taylor is extremely not here for this shit, and I appreciate it. The most glamorous part of working for Victoria’s Secret? “Working for Victoria’s Secret.” She also wants to jump out of a helicopter with her snowboard, which is pretty fucking metal.

Taylor Hill

9. Candice Swanepoel

Oh sweet, sweet Candice—such an unrequited life. While most of the models wish they could see the Great Wall of China or some trivial shit, Candice casually drops that her greatest regret is that she hasn’t started her “own shelter for abused animals or an environmental protection organization.” Extremely same. Also like, you know you probably can start an animal shelter, right?

Candice Swanepoel

8. Romee Strijd

One thing Romee wishes she could do? Travel stateside with her family. Uhhh you might want to rethink that, girlfriend. I mean have you ever seen an episode of Cops? The U.S. is a trash fire that absolutely deserves everything we’ve brought upon ourselves.

Romee Strijd

7. Martha Hunt

Unlike Josephine, who sagely acknowledges that she can’t live without the very essences of life, Martha is a little more… metaphorical. She can’t live without her dog, purse, family, diamond earrings and favorite watch. She literally listed “dog” and “purse” ahead of family. The honesty is refreshing.

Martha Hunt

6. Sara Sampaio

Sara is a cool girl who’s just like one of the guys. Wanna know how I know? Because she had pancakes for breakfast the morning of her interview, and in fact eats pancakes “all day every day.” I call bullshit. She has never so much as smelled a pancake.

Sara Sampaio

5. Adriana Lima

O.G. Adriana Lima is a simple gal. While other girls want to see the Northern Lights or start entire government agencies, all she wants to do is star in a Quentin Tarantino film. As long as she’s down with having her toes sucked, I think that can happen.

Adriana Lima

4. Elsa Hosk

Does Elsa prefer chocolate or vanilla? “Neither.” Goddammit, now I wanna know her deal! What’s this woman’s hangup with conventional ice cream flavors? Does she only eat sorbet? Is she lactose intolerant? There’s nothing sexier in a woman than dessert intrigue, I always say.

Elsa Hosk

3. Lais Ribeiro

What’s one thing that Lais would like to accomplish? Literally nothing, because becoming a VS Angel was her only dream, and she’s achieved that. Laugh all you want, but when was the last time you accomplished something with such laser focus, Mrs. I’ve-Been-Thinking-Of-Going-To-Law School-For-Almost-A-Decade?

Lais Ribeiro

2. Alessandra Ambrosio

Pink, or red? Lilac! WILDCARD, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Alessandra Ambrosio

1. Behati Prinsloo

Hey did you know that African native Behati Prinsloo is from Africa, which is where Behati Prinsloo’s from? Well, unlike most girls, who picked “cinnamon” as their spice, she grew up on an African seasoning called aromat, so that’s what she would be. Because she’s from Africa. Which, if true, why is she white?

Behati Prinsloo

Head Pro will watch the VS Fashion Show this year, just like every year, because he’s a sucker. Follow him as he makes mean jokes on twitter at @betchesheadpro, and tell him how badly this list sucked at [email protected]etches.com.