It wasn’t so long ago that we were simultaneously bored and grossed out by Nick and Vanessa “falling in love” on The Bachelor. Beauty and The Lispy Beast got engaged on the show and were over even before the six-month mark. Classic.
Since they couple called it quits in August, Nick has appeared in a Will and Grace advertisement. Weird. Nick also got eliminated pretty quickly from Dancing with the Stars. Oh, and he landed a guest role on the ABC show Speechless. Goddamn, the people at ABC really must see something in this guy that literally no one else does.
But what about Vanessa? In true Vanessa fashion, she’s not a new boyfriend. She lost the human incarnation of a curly-headed Kermit the Frog for good and started dating 25-year-old pro hockey player Brendan Gallagher. I mean, reportedly started dating this guy. Sources told ET the two have been seen out and about together and are looking pretty cozy.
I don’t really know who this guy is, because I
have a life don’t spend a lot of time stalking Canadian hockey players, but he looks, like, ridiculously average. I mean, we’ve all seen how hot Vanessa is—girl can rock a one-piece swimsuit in the arctic tundra like nobody’s business. This guy looks like some frat kid you drunkenly made out with in college and then didn’t text back when he hit you up the next day.
This guy looks like he’d ask to copy your notes… for the journaling you were supposed to do over the summer. He looks like somebody who would barely pass college and then go on to take over his dad’s hedge fund. He looks like his main sources of nutrients are Natty Light and protein powder. Okay, I’m done. Anyway, he’s also five years younger than 30-year-old Vanessa. Nothing wrong with that, but he definitely looks about 25. So you’re telling me you’re going from an emotionally immature 36-year-old with pubes for hair to a 25-year-old with a cheesy mustache and what appears to be a soul patch?? Fam.
I can see why Vanessa would go for a fellow Canadian, but she is hot and
pretends to works with special needs kids all day—she could probably do better than this guy. But no reality show or amount of Instagram followers can help her if she just has bad taste in men.