A couple weeks ago, we broke the earth shattering news that Vicki Gunvalson, the OG from the OC, was reportedly getting fired from Real Housewives of Orange County because 1) she’s not friends with anyone on the show anymore, and it’s weird just watching her be alone in her kitchen, and 2) she pitched a fit about not sitting next to Andy at a WWHL taping, and the peeps at Bravo weren’t fucking having it. Lol, it’s the little things, people. Well, there hasn’t been an official announcement yet, and don’t expect one, because the season isn’t over, and Bravo doesn’t make cast change announcements until after the last reunion has aired. The rules of housewife firing are simple and finite; every Bravo girl would know. But we have something better than a boring PC official statement. Meghan King Edmonds, Vicki’s fellow OC wife, has come out saying she hopes Vicki actually gets fired. Oh fuck, shit’s about to get serious.
In a recent interview, Meghan was talking the standard housewife shit about Vicki and said how Vicki never liked her and was always “nasty” to her from the get-go, yada yada yada. But then, in a petty af turn, said, ‘‘’You’re out!’ If only I could say that… ‘Vicki, you are out. Bye! No more lies. See ya!’” Was she joking? I mean, probs. But most of the time when I joke around, I actually fucking mean it. Or else I wouldn’t have thought it in the first place. Obviously.
Normally, this kind of thing would just die down, maybe get a salty response from Vicki on Radar Online, nothing maj. But Vicki and Meghan have been subtweeting the shit out of each other—actually, scratch that. They’re mentioning each other by name, so they’re full-out beefing on Twitter.
Now things might actually get interesting, because they’re filming the reunion today. Something I’m truly thrilled about, just FYI. And you can bet your betchy ass that Andy will bring this shit up to try and stir the pot to create some form of drama on this otherwise boring af season. Get the popcorn and rosé ready.
You can only have so many girls nights where Adriana’s breakup is the center of attention before you start eyeing the bro selection and hoping one of them isn’t a complete douche to distract you. Some nights you just want to trap a guy because all your friends already know how great you are and that’s no fun. It’s much more fun to watch a hot stranger discover how great you are. So for the nights when you just want to invest in your future but still want to get drunk, one of these bars is a perfect place to go husband shopping if you live in Los Angeles. Which is especially important because if you live in Los Angeles the chances of making it to a second destination are slim, so you must choose wisely when deciding where to go out for the night.
10. Lock & Key
This Ktown speakeasy is full of rich bros who are fighting to buy you a drink. This is a destination for groups and birthdays, which means the vibe is laid-back and rowdy at the same time. It’s a social bar so if you’re looking for a quiet date night you might want to skip this, though early in the night you can get away with chill cocktails by the bar. The patio has a DJ to keep the vibe feeling too house party, but it’s still bright enough to see and not spill your drink and like, check out the merchandise. Great chance to make eye contact with your real life right swipes from across the patio, then when you make your way to the bar for another drink, you’ll have to conveniently walk by him.
9. Roosevelt Hotel
Despite the fact that this is in Hollywood, which is the Times Square of Los Angeles, you’ll actually find the Roosevelt Hotel has a good selection of normal chill dudes to strike up conversation with. Maybe it’s because it’s where industry adjacents go to drink and not be judged, but you’ll mostly meet agents and managers and those types, aka well-dressed hot bros that should be gay based on their fashion sense and interest in your career, but are actually DTF—down to fiancé.
8. Bungalow
This is where all the west side ex-sorority betches and bros go to pretend they’re not past needing to show an ID to a bouncer yet. The many rooms of this bar make it literally feel like you’re shopping for a new beau, and also makes it easy to ditch a dud you half-start talking to once he mentions making America great again. It’s also right on the beach, which is romantic or something, but you’ll forget where you are once the bartender comps you enough Moscow mules. Attractiveness level is on point here, though chances of running into exes is also high.
7. Idle Hour
This valley bar is a good group spot with a fire pit in the back and a good selection of alcohol and beer garden snacks. It’s far away enough from Studio City that you won’t have to watch your boss on a first date, but also close enough for it to be convenient for those coming from Hollywood or the Valley. This is def a chilled out vibe, but because it’s a popular spot for parties and gatherings, you’ll find bros are in their element. Plus this way you can meet his friends and decide if be’s cool based on what characters choose to spend their time around him.
6. Three of Clubs
This is a spot you want to come armed with your battalion of girlfriends, but on a good night it’s rowdy and feels like a college party without the date rape. Sometimes it’s a mixed bag as you’ll get the old drunk men hitting on you, but the dance floor makes up for it. They play a healthy mix of 90s music, hip-hop, and Beyoncé so you can dance your way into some hot dude’s heart.
5. Hermosillo
This Highland Park spot is half hipster, half trust fund, which means you’ll be able to find your future husband AND your future side piece all in one place. HP is half gentrified which means there’s still no sign of Urban Outfitters but there are a few fancy donut shops. It also means there are only so many selections of bars, so for convenience’s sake most of the young virile residents will be at one of a few on a Friday night. And Hermosillo is one of those.
4. Dirty Laundry
Dirty Laundry is def a scene spot at this point, which means you may be spying on many first Tinder dates while scoping out your options. The good news is the bar is popular for a reason, and when it’s not too crowded you’ll never be short of an interesting encounter when you go out here.
3. Block Party
This Highland Park bar only opened in the last two years, but its proximity to a taco truck and crystals shop are an indication of its cool factor. The bright neon writing inside the bar is probably ironic in some way, and the bar has an immense selection of beers, which is like a magnet for bros who watch European soccer and know why cargo shorts are a pussy repellent. The bartenders are cute here too, which is always a plus. The back patio of this bar has party games like a giant Wii and shuffleboard, so the icebreakers are literally built into the bar.
2. The Friend
If you’re into mustaches and tattooed bros with jobs, you’ll like The Friend. This East Side joint is also set up like a house party, but like one from the 70s we think? There’s usually a DJ spinning tunes and it’s small enough that you’ll be able to corner whoever you want for conversation or like, whatever comes after conversation.
1. Tenants of the Trees
This is right in the heart of Silverlake which means you can talk about the women’s march while ordering a $15 cocktail and nobody will find fault with you. This is a good bar to go with friends that you don’t mind losing before the end of the night. It’s definitely got a hipster vibe to it, but in a more Williamsburg than Bushwick way.
Whether you live in LA or are just on vacay there, you can’t leave without gramming an avocado toast at brunch—that’s just like, the rules of feminism. Lucky for you we have done the hard work of “researching” the best avocado toasts, and by researching we mean getting drunk at brunch and eating avocado toast, obvs. Here’s the best places to go if you want to enjoy California’s other favorite green plant.
1. Sqirl
The avocado toast here is hands down the most photogenic in LA. It’s definitely hyped up, but for a good reason. The wait is going to be annoying, but the line moves fairly fast. Still, be prepared to wait at least an hour before ordering. But trust us, it’s worth it. You’ll probably spot Marisa Tomei or Kristen Stewart here, which will def help you get those eyes on your Instagram story.
2. Jon & Vinny’s
This is like the LA version of a typical Italian diner, which is to say it is nothing like an Italian diner at all. It does, however, have a delicious avocado toast option on Ciabatta bread. The place is small and laid back, so don’t expect to bring a big group here. They also have pizza options, but come here for brunch and get the avocado toast—it’s a light option with olive oil and lemon and it’s what we imagine the Godfather would have eaten if he was a hipster teenager in a punk band.
3. Zinc
Zinc has one of the best ambiences in DTLA. It’s also very spacious, which means you don’t have to wait very long for a table. The avocado toast here hits all the right checkmarks. It’s a classic and hearty choice with radish, chives, lemon, and avocado. You def want to get the egg on it, unless you’re trying to lose three pounds. It’s also right by the climbing gym, so you could also just do that afterwards and then the calories don’t count. Right?
4. LA Chapter
This is great because it’s in the Ace Hotel and you can ‘gram yourself drinking a cocktail at the Upstairs pool bar after brunch. This is a great place to take your parents when they come and visit. They make their avocado toast with Aleppo pepper, which doesn’t mean anything to us or to Gary Johnson but probably means something to people who care about that stuff. Definitely get a poached egg on this one, at least for the picture.
5. Stir Market
This is a large Italian market much like Eataly in New York. The avocado toast is simple here, but still totally grammable. This is right in the heart of Weho, which means don’t wear your flip flops and leggings unless you’re trying to hide from the paparazzi. You’ll probably want to grab a coffee afterwards and day drink along Santa Monica Blvd afterwards.
6. The Hart & The Hunter
No, this isn’t a new band playing at Bonnaroo this year, it’s the name of a Southern themed restaurant. Obvs if we’re going southern you know this isn’t for the betch on a diet. Their avocado toast comes with pickled onions and capers on sourdough (obvs) bread. It’s one of those cute places that make you feel like you should be wearing a sundress, so plan accordingly. Also plenty of light in here for good pics.
7. Tar & Roses
This is another popular place that will have a wait, but their avocado toast is always with a twist so it’s worth coming here. Like yes, there’s a wait at the Louvre in Paris too, but are you just going to not see the Mona Lisa? Exactly. Their avocado toast options have included crab and Atlantic sardine, so they’re not fucking around.
8. Commissary
The LINE hotel is a gem of a place in K-town for many reasons, but Commissary is the best reason when you’re hungover on a Sunday morning, probably from dancing in the lobby the night before. The avocado toast comes with goat cheese and is surprisingly spicy, so watch out if you’re not into hot stuff. It is a little pricy, but it’s a hotel, get used to it.
