Starbucks is a synonym for “happiness” in any betch’s vocabulary, but apparently, not everyone finds nirvana in 24 ounces of sweet, sweet caffeine. Donald Trump supporters—more precisely, supporters of the refugee travel ban—have organized yet another Starbucks boycott, thereby proving that they’re the most easily offended group of people in the United States.
Given all the wacky shenanigans (read: fucked-up decisions) going on at the White House lately, here’s a quick rundown of what fresh hell Trump is putting the U.S. through. On Friday, he signed an executive order banning immigration from seven primarily Muslim countries and putting a hold on the admission of all refugees for the next four months. Syrian refugees were particularly fucked over, because they’ve been barred indefinitely.
Naturally, this hasn’t gone over well with anyone in possession of a soul. You’ve probably heard about the massive protests at airports, and basically every public figure has spoken out against the ban, including my man Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks.
On Monday, he sent out a letter to employees outlining a bunch of ways the company plans on protecting workers affected by the ban. Somewhere in the middle, he casually dropped the bomb that Starbucks commits to hiring 10,000 more refugees over the next five years in a not-so-subtle dig at the ban.
Trump’s supporters have taken this as well as they do anything else, which is to say they’re reacting with the maturity of 5th graders, so they’re calling for a boycott of Starbucks.
Hiring 10k refugees makes liberals feel warm BUT we have homeless vets that need those jobs.#BoycottStarbucks #ReasonsToProtest #MuslimBan pic.twitter.com/wd1ZoW6TvO
— Pamela Moore (@Pamela_Moore13) January 30, 2017
I shredded my @Starbucks “Gold card”, now I just deleted my app! Never again! #BoycottStarbucks, over 1k that I spend there annually, GONE!! pic.twitter.com/SfuuUBbI60
— Build The Wall! (@TheBeat_Boss) January 31, 2017
Hilariously, #BoycottStarbucks was taken over by progressives within, like, 24 hours.
Pretty big fan of the #BoycottStarbucks movement. Now I can get my delicious coffee in a slightly shorter and less racist line.
— eric froehlich (@efropoker) January 30, 2017
By now, Starbucks is basically a boycott veteran, thanks in large part to Schultz’s outspoken political views. In 2013, people boycotted the stores because he supported gay marriage, there was all that #TrumpCup business in November, and people have lost their shit over the holiday cups not once but twice. Excuse me while I roll my eyes so far they fall out of my head.
Judging from the length of the line this morning, though, something tells me Starbucks’ profits aren’t really hurt by any of the boycotts. But whatever, if people want to deprive themselves of a Frappuccino because they support a garbage travel ban, it just means I get my coffee faster.
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